Do you know the worst thing about reality? It's the fact that it feels so surreal. 

 

 

--- 

 

" Why. Were. You. Kissing. Her. Luhan. " 

 

Deadpan. It was stern. Almost scary.

 

" It was an accident-"

 

Halfway. His tone pleading. Exasperation.

 

" There is no such thing as an accident!" 

 

Yelling. Her neck veins are showing. Anger. Pain. 

 

" Let me explain!" 

 

Shouting. His cheeks reddening. Disappointment. 

 

" Out. "

" Sunny, listen to me-"

" Get out. "

" You got it all wrong!"

" I said get out! "

" Sunny!!"

" GET. OUT! " 

 

--- 

 

Days have passed but the pain has never subsided. It feels like a permanent engravement of the words that came out like fire. She has lost. Lost too much. 

 

---

 

" Luhan~ I love you~" 

 

In the couch of their shared apartment, Sunny made a pouting face and tried to catch Luhan's attention from his work. 

 

" Hush baby. I'm trying to work. " 

 

He answered her without looking and proceeded to type away causing the said lady to pout more. It has always been like this. Luhan would be too engrossed in his work even at home that he rarely notices Sunny at all. He comes home late at night when Sunny would too deep in her sleep at the couch from waiting for him and leaving so early in the morning when Sunny would still be asleep. They'd only have time for each other on Sundays and even then, Luhan would be doing his work. 

 

" But we haven't had time for each other for the past few months. Can't you skip work even just for this day? "

 

" Sunny. I need to finish my job. I need to do this. You don't have a job. How do you expect the two of us to live?"

 

" But. You are neglecting me. We haven't got out on a date for months. "

 

" Sunny. You have to understand okay? This is for both of us. "

 

" Okay. I'll make a snack then. "

 

Sighing, Sunny left the living room and went to the kitchen to make sandwich for the two of them. It has been 3 months since they last went out on a date. 3 Months since the last time they have kissed. 3 months since the last time they had made love. Is it always gonna be like this? They're not even married.... 

 

 

---

 

" Are you gonna be late today? " 

 

Sunny asked as she fixed Luhan's tie.

 

" Yeah. The investor came yesterday and wanted a tour on the site. I was told that I have to do the work so yeah. "

 

She sighed once again and smiled a little. Why can't she get used to this?

 

" Take care of yourself then. " 

 

She said and tiptoed to kiss him only for her lips to meet with his cheeks. She forced a smile and ushered him out of the house to his car. When she was sure he's too far to see her, she broke down and cried. He even forgot what today is. 

 

 

--- 

 

Sunny and Luhan had been dating for three years. They met at the university courtesy of some of their friends. Their relationship was that of a cat and mouse but it was obvious that they had feelings for each other. Hadn't it been for Kyungsoo, they wouldn't even be dating now. Today is Sunny's birthday and she's also planning to surprise Luhan about her pregnancy. Maybe then, Luhan would ask her if they can get married. Sunny has a job 2 months ago. Not until she found out that she was pregnant that she decided to take a leave. Luhan doesn't know about that too. He never really asked. Sunny went to luhan's office with a Box of bentou on her right hand. Some employees are not surprised since she's been here a lot of times and they all gave her a smile. She went to Luhan's secretary to ask if her boyfriend was inside. The secretary fidgeted and opened only to close it again.

 

" Is he in there? " 

 

There was a hesitation before the secretary nodded and Sunny broke out into a wide smile. Without knocking, Sunny opened Luhan's office door. 

 

 

--- 

 

The scene inside was the most heartbreaking scene in Sunny's entire life. More heartbreaking than when Jack died in titanic. More heartbreaking when Jamie died in a walk to remember. Luhan was kissing Yoona. Her bestfriend. Both looked as shocked as she is. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Sunny's face hardened and she forced a smile. 

 

" I brought you Lunch. Sorry for disturbing. "

 

" Sunny, it's not what you think! " Luhan explained as he tried to reach Sunny's hand only for the latter to pull away. Sunny placed the box in one of the chairs. Her lips formed in a thin line. 

 

" Enjoy. " She said and left the room before Luhan could protest. 

 

 

--- 

 

She cried inside her car hard. Harder than any other cries she's had. Why does it have to be this way? 

 

 

--- 

 

She woke up with a massive headache. Vaguely remembering that she went home and cried herself to sleep. How can this happen? They were happy weren't they? They were in love right? Or was it just her?

 

--- 

 

The front door opened and Sunny cringed to the pain it added to her head. She stood inside the kitchen, clutching a half empty glass of water in her right hand.

 

" Sunny- "

 

" Why. Were. You. Kissing. Her. Luhan."

 

Deadpan. It was stern. Almost scary.

 

" It was an accident-"

 

Halfway. His tone pleading. Exasperation. 

 

"There is no such thing  as an accident!"

 

Yelling. Her neck veins are showing. Anger. Pain. 

 

" Let me explain!"

 

Shouting. His cheeks reddening. Disappointment. 

 

" Out. "

" Sunny, listen to me-" 

" Get out. "

" You got it all wrong!" 

" I said get out! " 

" Sunny!!"

" GET. OUT! "

 

--- 

 

Luhan didn't and just stared at her. Hard. Her tears were threatening to spill so it was her who looked away.

 

" I-if you're not gonna leave, I-i will. "

 

After saying that with a quivering voice, Sunny ran inside the room and tried to lock it but Luhan was faster. His foot was already in between. She tried to push it with tears rolling down her pretty face. But Luhan was stronger. He had managed to push it open. 

 

" Y-you're not leaving. " She heard him say. His voice stuttering but she ignored it. Instead, she grabbed a suitcase beneath the bed and opened the cabinet. She grabbed a handful of her clothes and threw it in the suitcase. Luhan, not wanting to back down grabbed the same handful of clothes and shoved it back into the cabinet. It happened for all of the things she tried to pack so Sunny was only able to get a little of her things. She glared at him and zipped her suitcase shut before dragging it down the bed. Luhan's hand pulled her back making her stumble a little. 

 

 

" I told you nobody's leaving! " Luhan shouted at her as he yanked the suitcase away from her hands but she was being stubborn and pulled it back. 

 

" I don't care about what you want to say Luhan! I am leaving and that's final! " 

He yanked harder so she pulled with the same intensity.

" Why don't you listen to my explanations first! " 

" Because there's nothing to hear!! "

" Yoona kissed me! It wasn't my fault! " 

 

 

" That kiss was not the reason why I want to leave Luhan! Tell me, do you even love me at all?! Three months Luhan and you were neglecting me! You come home when I'm asleep and then you leave when I'm barely awake! During Sundays, you would even work when you know it's the only day of the week when we could be together! Do you know how much that hurts?! Waking up without seeing you and sleeping without even kissing you goodnight! We were never this way Luhan! What happened?! That kiss pushed the button to my limits Luhan. Do you even know what day is it today? Do you?! It's my birthday! It's my freaking birthday and then I saw you kissing another girl! Oh, I forgot! That was my bestfriend! How could you Luhan?! I-I loved you with all my h-heart and this? T-this is the end isn't it? Huh?" 

 

Her tears were uncontrollable as she speak. She looked up at him to find him crying.

 

Why are you crying? Aren't you supposed to be happy?

 

" I-I'm Sorry. " He said as he let go of the suitcase and pulled her into a hug. She clutched his shirt as they both cried harder.

 

" Please let go. "

 

Those words made his world stop as he hugged her tighter. He doesn't want to let go. He can't lose her. He can't. 

 

 

" Luhan. Let me go. " 

 

" No. No. No. I won't. "

 

" Please! " 

 

" No... I can't. I need you Sunny. You can't leave me like this. I love you. Please Sunny, please don't leave me. " 

 

" I don't want to Luhan. But we need space. Please Luhan. Give me time and we'll talk. " 

 

For what seemed like an eternity, Luhan stopped Sobbing and reluctantly let her go. He kept her an arm's length away and stared at her eyes. 

 

" I love you Sunny. "

 

" I love you too. But please..... 

 

 

 

 

Let go. " 

 

 

--- 

 

Days have passed but the pain has never subsided. It feels like a permanent engravement of the words that came out like fire. She has lost. Lost too much. 

 

" Sunny? Don't you think you should've listened to his explanations first? "

 

 

Kyungsoo. Her other bestfriend. The reason why she and Luhan were together. The boy who made them meet. The boy who made a move for them. 

 

' You are perfect for each other!' 

 

" Maybe you were wrong Kyungsoo. Maybe we're not really meant to be together. " 

 

" Says the pregnant woman. "

 

" I can take care of myself Kyung. I don't even know if Luhan will be happy once he finds out that I'm pregnant. "

 

" It's because you haven't told him yet! "

 

" But, he was kissing Yoona! Yoona! My bestfriend! What do you expect me to feel? He comes home late at night! He goes to work too early. Whenever I would kiss him, he would turn away! Don't you think I deserve a credit for this too?? "

 

" But Sunny, I think it's better if you hear his side first. "

 

" Oh for pete's sake! I know I'm crashing inside your and Jongin's apartment ( Who said that?! Kyungsoo! ) But can't I stay just for now? Until I've finished packing all of my things. "

 

" Argh. My efforts! Gone with the wind! Oh my efforts rest in peace! "

 

" Shut up! " Kyungsoo might be a nagger. Kyungsoo might be gay. Kyungsoo might be exaggerated. Kyungsoo might be crazy. But who cares? He's a real best friend. 

 

 

--- 

 

She came back to the apartment to grab her things that was left. She was done crying. Her baby will live without his father. She can do that. She opened the door and was surprised at the scene inside the house. There were a lot of beer bottles strewn everywhere. Clothes were lying on the couch, on the floor, above the side table and even above the television. There were shards of glass in front of the bathroom. It was messy and this is not the way she had left it a few days ago. Figuring it won't be so bad, she decided to clean up a little. When she was sure that it was clean enough, she went straight inside the bedroom and this is where she scrunched her face and tried to suppress the tears threatening to fall.

 

 

Inside the bedroom were dozens and dozens of cans of beer. She stepped inside and the room reeked of alcohol that made bile wanting to rise up from her stomach. It was not good for the baby so she covered her nose. She went near the bed and a saw a lump covered in blanket. She raised it slightly to see Luhan underneath. She pulled the covers all the way to see Luhan sleeping half and smelling of Alcohol. But the photos of the two of them beside Luhan was what made her cry. 

 

Why are you being like this Luhan? Why can't you let me go?

 

On Luhan's face were tear stains. And even in his sleep, Luhan is crying. She sat down beside him and swiped his bangs away.

 

 

" Sunny... 

Where are you? I miss you so much... 

Please come back...

I promise I'll be good...

I promise to be a better boyfriend... 

Husband even... 

I will cook for you... 

I will do the laundry..

I will wash the dishes... 

You won't have to do any work... 

I will be better...

Just please come back... 

I need you...

Luhan needs you... 

Please Sunny... 

I love you... " 

 

 

It made Sunny cry more.

 

 

" I love you too Luhan. "

 

 

With that, she left. She needs to know the truth first. 

 

 

--- 

 

" Luhan really loves you Sunny. I tried to seduce him and said that he only wants you. I would try to do things and he was quick to stop me. There was a time when I had tried to take him when he was influenced by alcohol but just when I was trying to take his clothes off, he said, " Stop. I'm married to my Sunny. " It made regret things Sunny. He was so into you that other girls would look ugly in his eyes. He tried to talk to his boss so that another engineer would be the one to entertain me but he had no choice. He ignored me outside of work you know. He hated me. He said I was your best friend and yet I was doing it. I'm really sorry Sunny. Just so you know, he had been working non stop so that he could save for your wedding day. He planned to propose to you on your birthday you know. I just kissed him because it was the last time we would meet each other. Funny right? He loves you so much. Go back and forgive him. He loves you more than anything. "

 

 

---

 

I drove back to our apartment with my suitcase in hand. I'm planning to forgive him now and get back to him after a few days. Besides, I'm sure I can't live without him too. 

 

" Luhan? " 

 

I called out inside the apartment that looked surprisingly clean. I went inside the bedroom and was stunned at the scene that greeted me. Luhan was trying to kill himself.

 

" Stop! Luhan stop! "

 

I ran over to him and grabbed the knife he was trying to cut himself with.

 

" S-sunny? I-is that y-you? " 

 

His voice sounded hoarse and his pretty face is so tired. He does not reek of alcohol this time and he smelt of his strawberry shampoo. It made me cry. He loves me too much that he wanted to kill himself. I nodded and I watched him as he lift his hands up to cup my face.

 

" I-I'm not dreaming? Y-you're really h-here? "

 

I nodded once again because I can't trust my mouth to speak. 

 

" You're back! You're back Sunny! " 

 

He suddenly shouted and hugged me as if there's no tomorrow. I just continue to nod and hugged him back while crying. I can't believe that he's gonna kill himself. If I hadn't come, who knows what could've happened?

 

" I'm not leaving again. I'm here. "

 

I continued to hug him muttering how much I love him and he seemed to be doing the same. We sat there for a while before I pulled away only to be pulled back to him again. 

 

" You're leaving again? " He said. His voice soft and pleading. 

 

" No silly. I just want to look at your face. " I chuckled as I pulled away but kept my arms around him. 

 

" You're getting ugly. " I told him and he pouted.

 

" Do you not want ugly Luhan? " He fake cried and then kissed me in the lips. 

 

" But I don't want my baby to be ugly just like you! " I playfully whined and laughed as his face contorted into confusion. 

 

" Wait- you mean! " His eyes widened when I nodded and I laughed at his stoned expression. 

 

" Yes. You are gonna be a dad. " I told him and his face instantly brightened. He hugged me again and whispered non-stop thank you's and I love you's. 

 

" I'm gonna be a dad. " He sighed dreamily against my neck and kissed the exposed skin there. 

 

 

 

 

" Since when? " He asked when we were just cuddling on our bed. 

 

 

" 12 weeks ago Mr. Luhan. " I told him and made circles on his chest. 

 

" Sunny? " 

 

" Hmmmm? "

 

" Let's get married. " 

 

" I love you. " 

 

" I love you too. "

 

 

 

--- 

 

 

They say forgiveness doesn't need time as long as you're ready. I'd say forgiving comes with I love you in my dictionary.

 

 

 

 

>.<

 

Hi guys! sorry for not updating lately? this is lame right? i hat to fit it itn my schedule so it came out that way. and yes, the chapter's way of writing is meant to be that way XD We have midterms this week, a play, my history report which requires memorizing. something I'm not exactly good at =_= we have to watch a play for a review and I don't really have a rest day. I only come to AFF to read late at night so I wasn't able to update. College life is such an . Yes and my uncle passed away so it was kinda hard to blance school and family matters. Thank you so much for your support everyone! thankies for supporting my stories. it's really such an honor. TT.TT

 

Help me pass this hell week. ( btw, I typed this on my phone so I wasn't able to see the errors. Sorry. T.T)