Dear nobody,

                I never got to finish my story. I told you there was bad news, right? Let me tell you what it is.

                After Seokjin got me, we started walking out the children’s room. I reached for my Mask.

                “Wait, you don’t need it yet. We have to stop by one more place.”

                I followed quietly, still baffled by who that boy was. The way he looked at me tugged at my chest and caused an uncomfortable feeling to surface. It was like the boy knew some secret that I did not. It bothered me as I tried to Remember who he was. But that isn’t possible because I just met him.

                As I continued walking, the feeling started to hurt in my chest and my breathing became laboured. Seokjin turned in concern when he heard my pantings. I clutched my chest and squeezed it with my hand. My knees buckled and I fell to the floor.

                “Midnoon,” I croaked, “Midnoon. Give me...Midnoon.”

                Seokjin put a hand on my back and pulled me towards himself. My forehead rested against his chest. “Taehyung, breathe. Pucker your lips and take long, slow breaths through them. One, inhale; two, exhale. One, inhale; two – good.”

                My laboured breathing soon dissipated and I just lay against Seokjin’s body. My hands moved from my chest and touched my face. It was wet.

                Seokjin gently pushed me back to look at me. His eyes were scrunched in concern. From his pocket, he took out a handkerchief and dabbed my moist forehead. “Are you better?”

                I nodded.

                “What happened?”

                I stood up. I didn’t want to share. It was the first time I didn’t tell Seokjin the truth. “I missed Midmorn. Maybe that’s why.”

                His eyebrows scrunched together further but he said nothing. He supported me as we both stood up. “You know how important it is that you take your medicine, Taehyung,” he says sternly. However his voice soon softens when he asks, “Do you want to go home?”

                I shook my head. “No, finish what you needed to do. I’m okay.”

                He took my cold, clammy hand in his bigger, warmer one and led me out the hall.

                We entered a small room that was decorated differently than the others in the building. There were chairs set up around in a circle and the only person I recognized in the room was Principal who greeted us earlier. She smiled her fake friendly smile when we walked in. “Take a seat, Taehyung.” Fake smile.

                I picked the chairs closest to where we were standing. At least if I needed to run out, I would be the first one to reach the door. My eyes scanned the rest of the people in the room. They were all with another partner like Seokjin and I. Every single one of their partners had on a similar fake smile. The partners muttered quiet things into their ears but none of them seemed to hear because they were all staring at me.

                Their stares were all wrong. They were weird. They were scary. I puckered my lips and took one long slow breath and counted to ten. I avoided looking up for the rest of the time.

                “So, welcome to Camus Institute. Before we start with our meeting, let’s welcome our newest members, Kim Taehyung and Kim Seokjin!” Principal clapped her hands.

                The applause was polite and eerie. The last clap sounded strangled and then it too died.

                Seokjin spoke and I looked at him. I was shocked when I saw the same fake smile plastered on his face. I wanted to cry. Why was everyone here like this? What happened to the warm, beautiful, pure smile I saw in the room with the children?

                One, inhale; two, exhale.

                Awkwardly, the meeting began. The girl across from me kept clenching and unclenching her fists as she spoke. “My name is Karin. Today, I woke up and ate my breakfast. Then, I went with Jea to the park and we fed the ducks.”

                Principal beamed an extra fake smile. “Good, Karin! You should feel happy that you went out today. You should be happy you saw some ducks today.”

                One, inhale; two, exhale.

                “My name is Woohyun. I like baseball. I wanted to play today but Leo told me no in case I hit myself or someone. I followed him because I didn’t want to hurt somebody. Instead, I just took a walk.”

                “Good, Woohyun! Don’t you feel proud of yourself? You made a good decision.”

                Her words.

                One, inhale; two, exhale.

                Somebody’s leg starts moving up and down beside me. The movement causes the chair to squeak.

                “I like food. I ate. Then I slept. I woke up again to eat. We played cards in my room and then I slept again. Then I came here.”

                “That’s interesting, Hyesung. But maybe next time you shouldn’t be sleeping so much. You should get up and do some exercise. Like maybe, walking? Hm? Good. You can walk next week.”

                One, inhale; two, exhale. One, inhale; two exhale. One- one- one-

                Seokjin elbowed me gently and turned with expectant eyes. “Taehyung? It’s your turn.”

                I looked up. The weird stares were focussed all on me. I take a deep breath.

                “My name is Kim Taehyung. I lost my memory 48 days ago and the only thing I remember is my name. The first person I met was Seokjin, who is my best friend. He is encouraging and friendly; his smiles are always warm and full of cheer. I love him. The second person I met is a girl named Kim Sun Ah. I don’t know how she looks like because all I’ve ever heard was her voice. If you were to hear it as well, you would think it’s beautiful. It gets slightly raspy in the morning when we speak but it’s always soft with a Busan lilt. The most wonderful thing about her voice is the way it makes my heart feel. It beats with each rise and fall of her words and her laughter plucks each of my heartstrings. At times, the strings will hurt but they are a good pain. She tells me that she loves summer and the colour red. She tells me her family used to be bad but now they’re good. She tells me that she loves somebody who loves her in return.

                I love the way she breathes life into my name.

                She and Seokjin have given me my first birthday present since I’ve woken up. It’s a gold watch that ticks and tocks its life away. I put it on Shelf beside Masks that I wear to Visitings. Although it’s not much, I love it all the same.

                This morning, I woke up and got out of bed, thinking that I would have another phone call with Sun Ah. Did I tell you, she told me to call her Sunny? I think it’s the best name for her because she brings warmth into my heart.

                “The sunshine to my summer.”

                But I didn’t get to talk to her because Seokjin tells me she’s gone away. So he brought me here. This place scares me a little but it also intrigues me. I met a little boy while Seokjin was playing with the other children. I don’t know his name and he doesn’t know mine, but I feel like we’ve become friends. There’s a certain way he stares at you that makes you feel like you’re okay; you’re understood. He gave me his drawing of red circles.

                Sunny likes red.

                Now I’m here. I don’t know why and I don’t want to be. I’d rather be back talking with Sunny. I hate how Principal keeps telling everybody how they should feel.

                My emotions are mine and mine alone. I can feel however I want.

                I hate this place. I hate the fake smiles you all have.

                I hate the way you all look at me.

                I hate this place. But I want to meet with the children.

                But I want to learn to play.

                But I want to share love and care to the boy.

                I want Seokjin’s smile back.

                I want Sunny to call.

                I want Sunny to tell me stories and finish off with, ‘Taehyung-ah.’

                I want to hear her breathe life into my name.

                I hate this place. But I want to come back.”

                Those were the words I wanted to say. But I didn’t. I bit them all back. I couldn’t say them and they clogged up my throat so a strangled croak came out. I coughed to cover it up.

                “My name is Kim Taehyung. This is my first time here.” Silence followed.

                Principal smiled at me. Fake. Fake. Fake. “Yes, Taehyung, it is! And I’m so happy that you’re here. But maybe next time you can say a little more. You should feel welcomed here, you should tell us more.”

                I hate this place. But I came back because Seokjin wanted me to.

And here we are! Diving into the first arc of this story!! :D A quick shoutout to all the readers here! I love the comments you have given me and I am doing my best to respond to all of them! To the silent readers, I hope you are enjoying this story! I think I will have time now to update this more often since I'm finished writing one of my other stories, so please please anticipate it! :) Thank you all for your support!