The Rejected

Scene 9: Apologetic Super Hero

Author´s Note: Thanks for all your reviews and comments on this story! While taking a walk, I realized that Lunafly´s English song “super hero” fits Tao and “your” relationship. Feel free to listen to it. It´s the feeling I´d like to create.

Suho and his friends, Kai and Chanyeol, are friendly watching Min and you as you talk. It seems like they´re students of another university but came here looking for some childhood friends.

“We came here looking for some students.” Suho answers.

“We might know them.” You tell them, wanting to help. If you don´t know, you´re sure Min do. She´s the queen of gossip after all.

“I doubt you´d do.” He smiles kindly, apparently assuming that you wouldn´t hang out with the kind of people he is looking for.  “But thank you.” He adds not to be rude.

You nod your head and is about to leave when the boy with the plump lips, Kai, looks at you. His eyes are a bit wide, as if he´s afraid you´ll leave. You stop, and look at him in confusion. You haven´t met him before yet it seems like he has something he´d like to tell you. No words escape his lips though, and you wave at them as you leave.

“We´ll see you guys around.” Suho greets you good bye.

 “We need to go. I’m super hungry.” You tell them.

You and Min walk away while chatting normally for a moment but when you turn the corner Min glomps you, commenting about how handsome they were.

“Oh my, they were so handsome!” Min fangirls.

It´s a Monday after school, and you meet up with Kris by the gates. He´s wearing that coat you loved, and a scarf much like the one he gave you long ago. For a moment, your thoughts wander to Tao. You wonder what happened to the scarf you gave him.

“Hey.” You greet him, forcing a smile. “I know a nice coffee shop. Let´s go.”

Kris nods silently, and he follows you as you take the lead. You can’t help looking over your shoulder in case Gina would be there, following her boyfriend´s every step. Luckily, she isn´t anywhere to be seen. A relieved sigh leaves your lips. To be honest, you were frightened. You have no idea how Gina handles a challenge like this one.

By accident, you almost lead him to Tao´s shop, but you change course the last second. You can’t risk running into Tao right now because you decided you´d wait for him to come back to you and stay out of their way for the moment. It´s your turn to be chased.

You sit down at Starbucks instead, and you order a grand chai latte for yourself. Kris orders an Americano like he used to back then. None of you order sweets, and you know it´ll be a quick talk.  Kris usually eats like he´s a bottomless hole. But not today.

“So, why do you suddenly want to meet up after telling me to stay away for so long?” Kris starts, get straight to the point. A half irritated sigh leaves him.

You know you must have hurt him by acting so cold and you do regret it a tiny bit. However, it was for your own protection and you didn´t want to take his happiness away from him. You didn´t want to be the love-sick, jealous girl who´d fight for his attention.

“What I´ll tell you from now is completely true, but I understand if it´ll anger you.” You start seriously, leaning towards him over the table.

“What?” Kris eyes widen at what you´re saying.

You bite your lip for a moment as you think about just how honest you should be. Your fingers tremble at the thought. You take a deep breath.

“The truth is: I was… in love with you.” Your chai latte becomes interesting as you explain. “When you and Gina first got together, of course I was jealous and sad over it. I decided to leave you guys for yourselves…”

A tense silence spread between you, but instead of feeling excitement over having told your feelings you feel dreadful. If your friendship wasn’t almost ruined already, this might ruin it.

“…Why didn´t you tell me…?” Kris murmurs after a while.

You shrug.“Just listen to the story, alright?” Your chest starts aching, and you glance his way.

Although you thought you were all over it already, your body hurts as you talk about it. You were deeply in love with your best friend and thought he´d confess any day. That was when you saw him hugging another girl: Gina. That day you knew you had no chance, none at all.

“As I tried to cope with that my crush was dating another girl, I stayed away. However, Gina approached me, probably thinking I was a threat to your relationship and she threatening me that if I don´t stay away from you she´d ….”

Kris stares at you with a pair of intense eyes. You can see how his brain is working behind those eyes. He doesn´t like what he´s hearing and you know it. 

“….She´d hurt me.” You take a deep breath.

Kris leans back in his chair as he shakes his head. He´s about to say something, but you interrupt to tell him the worst thing she´d done to you.

“The other day, I was tricked by her followers and they locked me out on the roof. I was there until morning, when someone found me and took me to hospital. I had gone unconscious by the cold. ”

Kris is silent for a long while. You can see how he looks at you, searching for evidence to prove that your story is false, but all he sees is the band aid where your IV was attached. His silence is making you nervous. Finally, a deep sigh escapes Kris´ lips.

“I´m sorry…” Kris starts. “I can’t believe your story. Gina would never hurt someone.”

You can’t help but feel disappointed. You´ve known him since you were in diapers, it feels, yet he trusts his girlfriend who he has known only for a few months more than you. It seems like love can do crazy things to your head. You know about that well enough.

And maybe, there´s a lot about Kris you don´t know or understand. You´ve just never seen it before.

“I won’t force you to believe me. I just want you to… make sure… she´s the girl you think she is.” You try to explain to him without making yourself sound like the bad guy.

“Don´t say any more.” Kris tells you, and he gets up from his chair.

And he leaves without another word. You don´t blame him as you stay behind at the coffee shop by yourself. You told him about how you felt for him and your heart somehow feels lighter. Now, you can really let your feelings for him go.

If he wants your friendship back, it´s his turn to come to you.

Next day, Gina approaches you just as you thought she would. Her long, beautiful hair seems to float behind her as she walks her model walk towards you followed by two of her loyal followers.  After a few moments, you recognize them as the girls who lied about Min, and got you to go up to the roof that day. Your heart grows cold, but you force yourself not to let your fear show. You´re the one who declared war.

You won’t lose.

“So, Kris told me about your date yesterday.” Gina starts, looking down at you.

“So?” You pretend to be indifferent, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I thought that the incident on the roof was enough to make you understand…” Gina starts, taking a deep breath in frustration. “That someone like… you… can’t be with him.”

“But I don´t want him, not like that. We were close friends before you appeared in his life.” You shrug with an irritated sigh. “I just wanted him to know what kind of girl he´s dating. If he wants you, he´s all yours Gina.”

“He told me you said you love him.” Gina attacks.

“Loved, past tense… “You explain with another sigh as you take your books from your locker and prepares to go to class.

Suddenly, the two girls next to Gina, have you pushed up against your locker. The whole hallway seems to get quiet. You lose your cool for a moment, as your wide eyes show your fear. It takes a few seconds for you to regain your composure.

“Gina!” You yell her name angrily and then you whisper to her: “You almost killed me that day. Everybody know you bully people, pretend to be cute and nice… you´re two-faced … but you don´t want the school to know that you almost killed someone, do you?”

You stare her straight in the eye. You can see how her gaze trembles against yours as her confidence is slowly fading. She´s getting smaller and smaller. You´re about to tell her to let you go, when someone you both know appear from nowhere.

“Gina, what are you doing?”

A voice from behind you makes Gina turn around, and her big eyes widen at the sight of her boyfriend. Kris stands there, staring at the girls who have you trapped against the lockers with a pair of questioning eyes.

Gina is quick to tell the girls to let you go. You brush of some invisible dust on your shirt, before you take the books who fell to the ground and leaves without a word. Your heart beats like crazy in your chest and you leave.

“Kris… it´s not what it looks like.” You hear Gina say.

One day you got a message from your family saying that they think you should get a part-time job. It seems as if your family´s economy is going bad, and they need you to start paying parts of your expenses by yourself.

Feeling a bit sad, and bothered by the fact that you´ll need to work as well as study, you start to apply for jobs. Cafés, convenience stores, restaurants, you apply for everything. At first you thought no one would contact you since you don´t have a lot of experience, but a store close by hired you quickly.

Your first days were hectic and hard, since you had to learn a lot of new things, but you quickly got used to it. The only thing you´ll not get used to is to work late hours by yourself.

It´s a bit scary.

It has been two week since you saw Tao, Luhan and Chen or has had any kind of contact with them. The words Lay told you echo in your mind, giving you hope. Tao will come for you he said. He hasn’t let anyone come that close to him for ages he said. Your chest grows warm as you sit there in the aisle, staring at the new products they asked you to put in the shelves. According to them Tao regards you highly. You can still not understand why.

It´s late, and you´re all alone in the convenience store. You´ve gotten used to your new work, but there are still a few things that take long time.

“Excuse me, is anyone here?”

“Sorry!” You head to the cashier.

That´s when you see them. For a second of time, your heart stops beating at the sight of the three men standing there. You are not prepared to meet them, not now.

“You!” Luhan utters your name in surprise, but a huge smile grows on his lips.

“Hey.” You greet him with a forced smile.

Chen gives you a nod as he sees you, and he seems a bit cautions. They had no clue you´d be here. It´s obvious.

Tao looks at you with a face that tells you he wants to tell you, speak, a lot but no words escape his sealed lips. You can’t find your words either. You´re so happy: he´s back and he isn´t hurt. Your heart beats wildly in your chest. All of a sudden, Luhan appears and throws an arm around Tao´s shoulders as he tells a funny joke to ease the tension. Tao´s eyes widen, and he looks away embarrassed.

“We´re baaaack!” Luhan exclaims.

You pretend not to listen as you check the items Chen wants to by. You scan them one by one. You didn´t want to meet them like this: you wanted them to go and find you. It makes you a bit bitter deep inside.

 “You´re not mad, are you?” Luhan´s eyes widen as he observes you closely.

Tao seem to regard you from under his fringe, as he waits for your reply.

“No.”You can´t help but chuckle. “I´m not.”

Chen pays for some instant food. You look at the food silently, it´s not good to only eat instant food, but as an employee you can’t comment on their choice… You wish they ´d take better care of themselves.

“You seem to have lost weight…”Chen states out of nowhere, as he packs down his stuff.

Chen, however, doesn´t seem to think it´s rude to comment on one´s food habits.

“Me? No.” You look at yourself. “I can´t have. I eat sweets and drink sugary drinks like always.” You shrug. Maybe the trip to the hospital, and you being bullied made you lose a bit of your appetite.

“You´ve been worrying about us haven´t you?”Chen smirks at you.

A blush covers your cheeks. “…Maybe just a little bit? You didn´t even send me a text...”

“Sorry.” Luhan makes an apologetic face.

You look at him for a moment, as you decide it doesn´t matter. You didn´t send him a text either: afraid of being a bother.

“Do you need anything else?” You ask Chen.

“No, I´m fine.” He answers, surprised by your indifference.

“Alright, go back home safely.” You give them a smile, as you follow the dialogue your supervisor told you to use with every customer.

It seems as if treating them as any other customer was enough to make Tao speak up. You haven´t seen him for two weeks, and for some reason, it makes you nervous. Your eyes flutter to him.

“When does your shift end?” Tao asks.

You look at him suspiciously for a moment.“1Am,  why?” You answer, looking at the clock on the wall. Two hours left.

“I´ll walk you home.” Tao tells you, without really looking at you. “Wait for me.”

It´s cold outside. The sky is pitch black and no stars can be seen as the two of you walk down the almost empty streets. Tao is walking a bit ahead of you with his hands in his pockets. You look at his broad shoulders silently. You wrap your jacket tightly around you as you disappear into your own world of thoughts for a moment.

“So… you got a job?”

“Yes, my parent’s business is going bad…” You shrug. “I need to become more independent…”

Tao makes a sound to say he heard you.

“So, you fought…?”You don´t feel like talking about yourself.

“They found us.” Tao tells you. “But we agreed to end this when Xiumin and Lay are back. It´s unusual for them, to fight fair. However, when they´re back, we´re still one person less than they. ”

“Oh.” Is all you can say.

If they hadn’t been grocery shopping at your place tonight, they´d probably avoided you for a much longer time. Xiumin and Lay were both severely hurt when you met them. It´ll take days until they´re out of hospital and weeks until they´ve regained health. Your thoughts wander to the two young men.

“I´m sorry….” Tao murmurs under his breath as he breaks the silence between you. “I… didn´t mean to push you away the way I did.”

You can’t believe he´s actually apologizing. “….It couldn´t be helped.”You answer a bit awkwardly. Indifferently. You´re strangely nervous and your voice came out more indifferent than you wanted to. Tao is clearly trying to apologize but you´re making it harder for him.

The tension between you is electrifyingly awkward. And then he suddenly takes your hand in his.

A surprised yelp almost escapes your lips at this, but you manage to swallow it in the last second. His hand is really big, encircling yours easily. Something close to butterflies in your stomach seems to go on a wild frenzy at the simple touch.

“I said, I´m sorry.” He repeats, pouting a little bit, as he looks down at you. “I do mean it. Don´t be that cold towards me….”

“T-tao?” You stutter in surprise.

You look up at him, but he looks away as if he doesn´t want you to read his expression. Then you realize it: he´s embarrassed and a bit ashamed over that he pushed you away. He´s probably also scared that you´d do the same to him now: push him away. It´s true that you´re hesitant about forgiving him, because if he has done it once, he can push you away again.

“I realized that… I want you around during hard times.” He confesses.

Your eyes widen. “I´m not angry with you.” You tell him with a growing smile after a long silence. “Get me another free coffee, and I´ll forget it ever happened.” You joke.

It´s not that easy, you know that, but if Tao is brave enough to apologize and open up as he just did… you can´t help but trust him.

Tao snorts and looks down at you. It seems like he thought you were making fun of him. However, he quickly notice you´re not. “You…” and a smile spread on his lips. “It´s a deal.” He agrees.

Tao seems to realize that he´s still holding your hand but instead of letting you go he seems to pretend it´s natural and with a pair of ears blushy red, he takes the lead.

Your cheeks are fiery red as Min´s words echoes in your head.

“Who´d let a girl walk home by herself at this hour…?” Tao mutters to himself.

Do I like Tao?