The Rejected

Scene 2: Coping

Your alarm goes off, and you bolt up in your bed for a moment being disoriented and confused before you realize it’s morning. A loud groan leaves your lips. It’s Monday morning and you need to be in class in two hours.

You sit up. Your gaze moves to the window mill. There’s a glass of water, and some left over pills there. The pills he gave you. You feel a bit grateful because your cold is completely gone. You’re as good as new. Stretching your sore body, a yawn escapes your lips. It’s time for your morning coffee.

While your coffee is getting ready, you take a quick shower. When you get out of the shower, your cell is beeping, you got a text message. There´s only one person who’d text you at this unholy hour, and that’s not your best friend Min. You take a sip of your coffee as you flip open your phone.

Let’s meet up for lunch J - Kris

Your chest turns ice-cold as you stare at the letters on the small screen. They slowly turn unreadable as your vision gets unfocused. His texts used to make you so happy, but now you know they don’t mean anything to him.

“Let’s not…” You murmur to yourself.

But you can’t write that. That’s not who you are. Biting your lower lip, you come up with some lame excuse that you forgot to do your homework and will skip lunch today. Reading in the library sounds like a good idea to you because that way, you can avoid stuff that’ll surely make you sad.

You’re a second year student at S University, and you’re majoring in English Literature. You’ve always loved the dark, rainy feeling of England and works such as Othello and Frankenstein has always intrigued you. Some might think it’s a rather heavy and boring subject, but you sincerely enjoy reading because you love escaping into different worlds.

You look at your reflection in the mirror. You put on a big jumper that goes down over your bum, a pair of tights, a thick colorful scarf and your hair in a messy bun. Since your eyes are a bit fluffy still, you decide to wear glasses to school.

You´re not cute, not that skinny, not funny… you´re pretty average and above that: you’re usually really shy too.

You want to change that, but not for someone else’s sake, but your own. You´re a bit tired of trying to be pretty and kind for someone who… doesn’t even notice. Your thoughts wander to Kris once more, before you shake the image of his grinning face out of your head. There must be someone who´d love you for you, and treat you as his special person.

I’ll be fine, you tell yourself as you are heading off to school.

You reach your university after a 15 minute walk. The sun is really bright today, and the snow is sparkling in the strong sunlight. It looks like small crystals. You take off your hat as you enter your classroom, and a 2 hour long lecture starts.

A deep sigh leaves your lips as you exit the classroom. It was an interesting lecture, but two hours without a coffee break is tiring. You decide to go and get yourself a grand coffee before heading to the library. Maybe, a sandwich too, since you´re avoiding the dining hall during lunch hours. To be honest, you feel silly about avoiding Kris but you´re not sure how you´d feel if you’d run into him now. All you know is that you can’t be as naively happy around him as you were before.

The library is deadly quiet as you walk towards your favorite spot on the second floor, by the windows facing the school yard.  For some reason, students rarely sit here to study. Usually you and Min hang out here until late, but Min is not in school on Mondays, that lucky girl. You put down your stuff, and sit down to read a hand out with poems. Once you start reading, you tend to get so absorbed in whatever you´re reading so you can’t see what´s going on around you or keep track of time.

Escapism.

Time pass, and you´re really warm and comfortable in your chair. However, that’ll soon change. A sudden sound makes you jump in your chair, almost knocking your coffee over. It´s the person you wanted to avoid. Your heart stops beating for a moment.

“Hey, I bought your favorite snacks!” Kris grins as he leans towards you. “I thought I’d cheer you up in your studying…”

You put your hand over your heart, that’s now accelerating in your chest. It’s beating quickly, painfully quickly. Your body is turning warm.

“Oh, thanks…!”  You try to smile at Kris, as he sits down next to you.

You look away, pretending that your hand out is way more important that Kris or the snacks he bought you. It’s your favorite, those chocolate crackers that no one really likes. Your heart aches. You´re happy, but it hurts so much. You wish he´d just leave you alone.

“What’s wrong?” He asks you, since you turned so quiet.

“Ah, nothing really…” You avoid meeting his gaze. “Been feeling a bit sick lately.”

“Now when you mentioned it… you did look a bit pale the other day…” He murmurs.

Kris looks at you for a long moment. It makes you squirm in your seat. All of a sudden, you feel his warm hand against your forehead. Your eyes widen, and you can’t stop a gasp from escaping your lips. He’s leaning in close, looking you in the eye as he’s checking your temperature.  Cheeks change color in embarrassment.

“You´re a bit warm…” He comments.

It’s because you are too close! You think, as you´re about to panic.

“Oh, I just remembered I need to look for this book!” You get up, leaving a confused Kris behind. “I’ll be back!”

His hand falls down to his side again.

You walk away quickly, face tomato red, and hides behind a bookshelf  in the other side of the building. Kris is so mean, you think, being so nice to you when he doesn´t like you the way you like him. When he has a girlfriend. You thought you´d be fine, but tears are threatening to overflow any moment now. The floor feels cold as you sit down, not caring about who could happen to see you there.

“Stupid…” You murmur to yourself as you wipe away traces of tears. You won’t let yourself cry over him again.

But the one being stupid isn´t Kris, but you who let him affect you this way. You turn bitter. Even though it might be impossible now, but you sincerely hope these feelings for Kris will go away.  He’s your good friend, and you want to be happy for him, but these feelings are turning you into a bad person. A hateful person. The truth is, all you want is for Kris to love you. All you want is to make that girl go away. However, you won’t. 

You can’t.

“Ah, you.”  

You freeze upon being spoken to. You didn´t expect anyone to see you here, although you didn’t put any effort into hiding. You quickly get up on your feet, and dust of your jumper. Eyes widen as you realize who just saw you in such an embarrassing situation. It’s the guy from the other night, the one you found unconscious, the guy who was in a fight.

“Oh, hi…” You stutter awkwardly.

He is standing there, looking at you with a pair of seemingly curious eyes with that semi bruised face of his.

“Why so surprised?” He asks you in a dark voice.

“I didn’t expect running into you again, and above that, in this school’s library.”

You realized it sounded really rude, and you apologize with a new blush coloring your face red. You didn´t mean to apply that he´s not bright enough to be at this university, or that he doesn´t seem to be the type of guy to spend time in the library. For a short moment, you´re really afraid you upset him and that he’d do something to you. But, he doesn´t say anything for a long moment.

“You cold got better.” He changes topic, not looking at you, putting his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah… thank you for the medicine.” You smile hesitantly up at him, happy he’s not mad. “So, you´re a student here?”

“Yeah, a first year.” He answers.

He´s one year younger than me… You finally dare to look at him properly. A pair of dark brown eyes stares down at you, and they seem to glisten. Even though his image, clothes and that you knew he fights gives you a scary image of him, his eyes seem almost child-like. He’s wearing a black hoodie today, with a pair of jeans. Silver rings, piercings and styled hair. You can’t lie and say he isn’t handsome. However, he’s out of your league: from another world. Someone meant to do great things, unlike you.

You´re about to say something, when you hear someone approach you. The tall dark haired guy follows your gaze as you see Kris at the end of the bookshelf.

“Found you” Kris declares after he shouted your name out loud. “Did you find the book?”

Both you and the guy flinch a bit by the sudden shout. Kris’ eyes widen a bit as he spots the younger guy, but he smiles politely at him.

“A friend…?” Kris grins as he looks at the first year student.

Kris is waiting for an explanation, for you to introduce him to your friend, but you can’t. You don’t know him or his name. You can feel how your heart sinks for a moment.

“I’m Tao.” He introduces himself, and saves you.

“I’m Kris, this girl’s best friend.” He says, and put his arm around your shoulder.

Your heart aches and your body grows tense by his touch. You wish he wouldn’t be so close and touchy. The guy, Tao, makes a strange face before he gives Kris a polite nod of his head in acknowledgement. For some reason, it feels like Kris is marking you as his. It makes you all awkward and confused. Tao looks way, saying something about that he’s class is starting soon before he walks off.

“You should stay away from him.” Kris is quick to tell you once the guy, Tao, has disappeared around the corner.

“Why?”

“That guy reeks of trouble.” Kris frowns, his eyes has turned a shade darker than usual.

To be honest: you do agree, but the way Kris said it bothers you. What gives him the right to talk like that about someone he doesn’t know? You did find him unconscious, bloody and beaten but he also thanked you by giving you medicine. One bad thing plus one good thing equals neutral ground for you. You’ll judge if he’s a good or bad person from now on.

“I know…” Is your sole answer, eyes on the ground. “But, he hasn’t done anything to me so… he’s still good in my book.”

Kris looks at you with a bothered expression but he doesn’t answer. You can read him enough to understand he doesn’t like it. Your chest feels tight.

Still, he really doesn’t have the right to decide who you’ll befriend. In that moment, you decide to thank Tao properly even though you know Kris wouldn’t like it.

He doesn’t have to know about it, right?