The Breakdown
Mission: Make Her A Woman
Ji Hyo watched the embers of the barbeque turn red slowly, taking a gulp or two from her 'water' bottle now and then. The view below the high balcony was peaceful and she felt a lazy atmosphere settle in. The talks of the members who were fixing the music player which they broke earlier ghosted in under the door separating outside the from the inside. The tendrils of the noise, reduced to faint murmurs only added to the tranquility that took over her ever-turbulent mind. Maybe it was the alcohol warming her body, maybe it was the light rain, or maybe it were the soft snores of Suk Jin oppa who had fallen asleep on one of the wicker chairs, but Ji Hyo felt at peace.
The Running members were family to her when her actual family was hell to her. A mother who hated her dead husband for his affairs and hated her own daughter for being of his blood - that's what she 'officially' calls family. She may be the perfect daughter in the eyes of the Republic of Korea as her agency wouldn't settle for anything less, but she wasn't really someone forgiving enough to not hate her mother back for the hate she has lived with since the past 20 years.
It was Yoo Jae Suk who took her under his wing when even acquaintances judged her on her scenes The Frozen Flower, and convinced her to work towards rectifying her image. She wanted no part of it as she was extremely proud of her work; but the older man sat with her the whole day to share his wisdom in the world of showbiz. Running Man took care of the rest.
She felt often guilty after her bursts of anger and biting words towards the members, it felt like she was spitting on the same hand that was helping her up. It tore her up to see them concerned for her when she could mercilessly eliminated them; it felt even worse that she blamed them for not treating her as a woman when she was at fault for never letting them do so. She rarely could understand why she acted so brash, why did she need to put up a front? Why did she always have to be on the offence as if to protect herself? They won't hurt her.
There were many times she decided to change, to be more nice like the Ji Hyo the viewers see on Running Man but the Bad Ji Hyo would win out after a while when some mood got to her. The members were used to it enough to even joke about it, but why should they endure? Why should she keep on taking take when they have to keep on giving and giving and giving?
The peace that had opened her mind to thinking, had by now been shattered and replaced with a deep ache, moving like lava in her chest. It dried her thoughts and a hot burn began blur her vision till tears spilled out. was too choked up to let any sobs escape.
She doesn't want to be hateful. She doesn't want to be disliked or hated. She never did anything for her mother to hate her. Why does she give grief to the members? Will they hate her too? She doesn't want to be alone again.
Her silent dry sobs continued as the pain in her chest instensified. Too many thoughts bombarded her head; it felt like a pit had formed in her chest, and it was pulling every fibre of her being inside its darkness. The physical pain was fast becoming unendurable and she squeezed her eyes shut which only opened the floodgate. Sobs became shudders and she curled up in the corner, her body wracked with violent spasms.
This is how Song Joong Ki found his Ace noona and terror seized him. The woman was the lynchpin of their little family. She was the hold, the one who would be the link which would strongly hold when any or all fell apart. Now that he saw her falling apart, he gathered the fragments of the Song Ji Hyo he knew against his chest and called out her name to make her snap out of it. His voice was seized with panic as he called out louder to the woman who seemed to be completely away of the realm of the real world.
Ji Suk Jin woke to the impassioned calling of his dongseng and saw the horrid scene before him. It took him a second to comprehend the situation. Joong Ki, who was now cradling the balled-up woman in his lap while trying to soothe her without much success, motioned the hyung to do something and Suk Jin ran to get Jae Suk.
In seconds the members piled up at the door and it broke Gwang Soo's heart to see his noona in the state. He and Jae Suk hyung, unlike the others, were not strangers to this. Jae Suk hyung had in fact been in the same situation twice and they very well knew what were the reasons behind Song Ji Hyo's breakdown.
Jong Kook made to rush towards her but surprisingly Gwang Soo held him back, shaking his head. Jae Suk quietly went up to Joong Ki and took the distraught girl into his arms, holding her head against his chest as he murmured something into her ear. She was definitely much bigger than his own son, but the pain he felt at her tears that were soaking his t-shirt was the same.
The members could catch a few of the murmured lines such as "You are not her, Seong Im... We won't leave... love... Forget your mother... don't cry, child... Seong Im ah", but no one asked anything. Jae Suk patted Joong Ki on the shoulders as the young man couldn't stop his own tears and gave a reassuring smile to others, especially Jong Kook who was lightly struggling against Gwang Soo's hold, panic evident in his eyes.
Suk Jin handed the water bottle he spotted to Jae Suk and gestured towards Ji Hyo, suggesting him to make her drink some water to calm her. Gary stopped him and swapped it with a real water bottle he fetched from inside. No one questioned the swap; it doesn't matter, whatever it was, Jong Kook thought.
Jae Suk carried her into the bedroom and sat her on the mattress while six solemn figures filed in. Ji Hyo had calmed down a bit by now but clung to his shirt to hide her face. He tucked back her hair and offered her the water once more which she thankfully drank this time. He sat her on the middle of the bed and Jong Kook immediately made to the cupboard to take out a fresh blanket. Silence was only broken by nervous shuffling of the men and the agonising hungry gulps she took of the water, which made the members flinch in pain. Jong Kook busied himself in pulling out the blanket to block out that particular noise.
"I am sorry." Her voice was scratchy and cracked at the end.
It jolted everyone out of the solemnity and seven grown up men ambled on to Jong Kook's bed to pat the young woman, pressing her with assurances even though they had no idea about what they were reassuring her for, or what she was sorry for, for that matter. It was a tight fit but all of them managed to find space on the big bed, looking more like a family than ever. The most important member was at her rightful place in the centre and it seemed as if the rest joined her in this limited area of the bed to protect her from the world. As living shields between her and her pain.
No one asked anything - not that they won't later, because they totally will - but they knew this wasn't the time. It took fifteen minutes minutes for her to crack a small smile and five more for others to do the same. The heaviness was lifted, the pain stayed a bit longer. At least until Ha Ha brought in the liquor.
The Korean beef stayed in the kitchen, the barbeque grew cold and Jong Kook exploded.
A tinkling laugh echoed in the room when a purple-faced Jong Kook clutched Ha Ha by the collar of his shirt. He was in a rage at his dongseng's audacity of bringing in the dreaded substance in his house but let go in shock at the sound as Ji Hyo clutched her stomach in laughter and rolled on the bed till she hit Gary unintentionally. Everyone looked up at him with looks no different from Menboong's when he wanted extra doggy treats. After all this, he knew he didn't have the heart to stop them. He couldn't even muster courage to fight this gross injustice being done to him twenty minutes later when Ji Hyo pleaded with him to drink with them. He couldn't say no after all that had happened. So Kim Jong Kook ended his 10 year long alcohol abstinence for this girl who had taken all their lives by a storm.
Twenty more minutes and Jong Kook happily dug into Suk Jin's gift box voluntarily, too drunk to care. They were chocolates, aka, Bye-Bye-Chocolate-Abs.
Joong Ki watched in amazement as he saw such extreme changes in the members which shocked him as he now understood how much closer they had gotten after he left. He felt thankful still to be a part of them off camera, to share their warmth even if it came with a pinch of pain. He knew they'd be there for him when the pinch was his own.
He giggled as Gwang Soo tried on a few of Jong Kook hyung's clothes and as Ha Ha and Gary played Go Stop on the floor which would end in a brawl every five minutes (because they weren't playing by ANY rules). Suk Jin hyung was passed out in the armchair next to his own and Jae Suk hyung was lolling horizontally on the bed while Jong Kook hyung was drunkenly teaching Ji Hyo noona how to carry a tune while not being able to carry one on his own because he was hiccupping too often. Ji Hyo noona, of course, was losing her patience now and then, resulting in a brawl not different from the Go Stop Brothers, only safer because of the bed's mattress. His eyes drooped as the warm alcohol coursed through his veins and soothed the headache his tears had produced as an aftereffect. Song Joong Ki was lulled to sleep, catching the end of Ji Hyo noona's excited voice before he was gone from the world of conciousness.
Gwang Soo pulled out a navy blue spandex t-shirt from the corner of the closet, half the contents of which he had tried and dumped on the floor. He tried it on the yellow pants he had been wearing but couldn't see himself clearly in the mirror as his eyes drunkenly crossed. He gave up. The clothes just won't cooperate!
He looked around wildly but saw that everyone was in some state of unconciousness. On the floor, in the chairs and on the bed. He giggled as Jong Kook hyung was lying on the bed, singing some strange melody while resting his head on Jae Suk hyung's stomach while Ji Hyo noona was lying with the Tiger's chest as her pillow, counting imaginary stars.
He pouted at not being included in the slumber party and made his way around the almost-empty 'water' bottles to make space for himself. He too used the noona's soft stomach as a pillow, as stomachs seemed to be in fashion in the room, and flung a leg on Jong Kook's feet. The four fit the bed in positions not unlike a crossword puzzle, some 'down', some 'across'.
Ji Hyo threaded her fingers into Gwang Soo's thick and surprisingly silky hair and played with them in fascination until his breath evened out and he shifted to the land of dreams. Jong Kook oppa was copying her but with her in Gwang Soo's place; unfortunately her hair was longer and the oppa wasn't really gentle. She turned her face sideways in irritation to tell him to stop only to meet the underside of oppa's neck and whatever demon has been controlling her since the cursed alcohol touched her lips got another strange idea. Her lips softly found way to the point of his chin, laying a ghost of a kiss there before pressing a firmer one on the column of his neck. He made a sound much like a contented sigh. She was happy that he was happy. She was happy to hear the soft breaths of all of them around her. She was at home.
Jong Kook, even in his drunken stupor, could tell that Ji Hyo too had slipped into slumber. He patted her hair like a child to see if she would kiss his skin again in reaction but his wait was for nothing. Pouting he resigned to himself and breathed in her strawberry scent once more, before drifting off finally.
Ji Suk Jin opened his eyes and sighed. He looked at the sleeping girl and the muscled man who had moved his body in a way as if he was protecting her from something. This kid, he thought wryly, takes his missions far too seriously.
I wasn't planning to take this story here but it just happened so. The genre changed for a while but that's momentary and we will be back to humour train in the next.
Do tell me if it's weird or if you think the direction of the story is going haywire.
I'll update soon. :)
KJK hovers around SJH in most of the 10-minute screen time he got. What does that say about the man? Yes, he lurrrrrves his girl! LOL, I am feeling mushy today.
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