The Mischief
Mission: Make Her A Woman
"Gary hyung, could you please tell Ha Ha hyung to tell Yoon Seo Hyun-ssi that I can't meet her tomorrow? Or ever." Gwang Soo asked hopefully, clutching his phone anxiously while his coordi flitted about him, putting random clothes against his chest to see how they looked.
"Gwang Soo, wait a moment." Gary replied and put the sweating giraffe on hold before he could plead to the hyung to consider his plight.
He waited as the hold music played and his annoying coordi tried to stick frames on his face. Gwang Soo was more nervous about breaking this date than he was ever about asking a girl for one. He should have known that's how his life is going to be. The boy was clearly doomed. He pictured himself as a house husband (slave, actually) and oddly the wife he pictured had an uncanny resemblance to one Kim Jong Kook. He visibly shuddered at the thought, which at least helped in getting a surprised coordi off his back.
"Gwang Soo ah, you still there?" Gary's voice floated from the phone when the music abruptly stopped.
Before Gwang Soo could reply, another husky voice came from the damned device. "Annyeo, my dongseng. Gary hyung said you wanted to talk?"
"Ha Ha hyungnim!" Gwang Soo cried desperately into the phone, "Please don't make me go to a date with her!"
Surprisingly the two hyungs on the conference call started laughing their heads off, offending the maknae who was discussing a life and death matter. Gwang Soo was still smarting over the fact that he was set up with a woman with no redeeming quality, a ridiculously short height and someone who was hellbent on pointing out his flaws. He knew this was a joke to Ha Ha hyung but he really thought they would take it seriously this time. He gnashed his teeth in chagrin.
"Mianhe, Gwang Soo, she just called 5 minutes before Gary put me in conference with you, to cancel."
Gwang Soo couldn't believe it.
He was dumped by her of all women! He knew he was no noona-killer but he wasn't as unlucky to be dumped by Miss Unpleasant. It prickled his pride but saved him the badmouthing he would have received were he the dumper. Maybe he should send Yuri another text message; after all, she mustn't have had the time to go through his earlier texts. All 37 of them.
"Ya, Lee Gwang Soo, did you go into shock?" Gary asked when Ha Ha's comment went without any reaction from the other side. "Gwang Soo, there? Aish, this boy."
"Gary hyung, Jae Suk hyung just entered the studio. I am putting the phone on speaker for him" Ha Ha interrupted Gary's mumbling and Gwang Soo's SNSD fantasies.
"Gary ah, Giraffe. How's everything?" Jae Suk asked. They heard Ha Ha whispering the situation to the hyung before either of them could respond. Even the sensitive Yoo Jae Suk couldn't keep from giggling.
"Ayyye, hyung!"
"Calm down, Gwang Soo ah. Things will happen when they will."
"But hyu---"
"But if Ji Hyo asks, say she is a foreigner. Named Vivien." Jae Suk's words quickly reminded the boys the whole purpose of the exercise.
"Hyung, do you think Jong Kook hyung will allow Soju?" Gary asked hopefully. The days were rainy and Gwang Soo had informed him that Korean beef would be warming their bellies come Saturday. He was even getting all sorts of pancake mixtures and materials from his restaurant to cook at Spartakook's house. All this practically demanded Soju on the table.
The other three men on the line sighed in unison. The question might as well be rhetoric.
"Ji Hyo noona would want it, right? Jong Kook hyung can't let the plan fail, right?" Gwang Soo quickly rationalized. They can always make Ji Hyo and her notorious drinking habits their excuse. It was unheard of Kim Jong Kook being as accomodating as he was in this case, so they might as well take a yard when he is readily offering an inch or two. If their luck doesn't run out, they might be able to get him to down a shot or two. Oh, the possibilities, Gwang Soo cackled internally.
"Gwang Soo is looking for a thrashing." Ha Ha rebuked obediently like the good 'Dongseng' he was, even though he was internally on the same wavelength as the maknae.
Jae Suk ignored Ha Ha, "I have a few ideas." He suggested excitedly. He had to remind himself that he wasn't in high school anymore to get so excited over some soju. But getting it past the fastidious Kim Jong Kook had its own charm which he was finding hard to resist. Nor had he ever seen Ji Hyo (surprisingly!) and Gary drinking, so he was curious to see what kind of drunks they made.
So on this Friday morning, four very ardent wishes reached God's ears. God knew this was going to end in a lot of trouble but He couldn't deny one particular wish, no matter how hard He tried. He read the fluttering little wish-memo in question again:
"Dear God, please let there be soju in the party. If she's drunk, maybe she'd see me as a man as well."
Saturdaty, 11:37 in the night.
Kim Jong Kook couldn't coherently recall much that went down in the party nor did he have much curiosity about it. His mind was in a haze, a cheerful and indulgent haze as he snuggled further into his 'pillow'. It was probably midnight now and he was tired too tired to nudge his brain to remember whether they had made any headway in their plans. The strawberry fragrance that radiated from the warm body next to him smelled so good, he didn't care a whit what others think. To him,
Oh yes, she was definitely a woman.
The plan for the party had been simple when the preperations had begun this afternoon as they knew they can't show change overnight. Hell, they themselves can't change overnight. It was one thing to understand the situation in their heads, it was entirely another to alter the way of life they had developed around Ji Hyo for the past two years. Replying to her was reflex and it is going to take time to modify something etched deep into their neurosystem. The party served as a springboard, thus, for both - change in them, change in their relations with Mong Ji.
There were only two sets of instructions that had been kept for their seventh Running member,
1) Don't upset her or be mean to her at any cost.
2) Let her do what she wants. (Only Jae Suk and Suk Jin were allowed to disagree with her in this)
That said, the party had started. Gary had come the earliest with his raw materials, had fairly wrestled the oil bottle from Jong Kook's fingers and had conquered the stove, forbidding the hyung from entering his domain (the kitchen). The poor man had to endure ten minutes of incessant nagging and spurts of anger before he was saved by the Easy brothers' arrival. Ji Suk Jin came bearing some gift boxes which he refused to give any details about, except a bashful, "I couldn't have come empty-handed now". Jong Kook had to agree that this kind of arranged get-together was a new concept for them, who were used to spontaneous outings and meetings - it was awkward, though not unpleasant.
Gwang Soo dumped some music and movie DVDs on Jong Kook's coffee table to attest for his 'contribution' for the party.
Yoo Jae Suk and Joong Ki turned up next with absolutely nothing. "I am gracing you with my presence, am I not, Kim Kook Jong?" The hyung smiled benevolently. Jong Kook exasperately tasked all four of them to set up the barbeque which he had dug out for the first time since it had been gifted to him by a sunbae several years ago.
The three picked up work gloves and made to the spacious covered balcony of the singer's high rise apartment and began their work. He returned to the kitchen to get a glass of water and calm himself down, though the sizzling pans weren't helping his nerves.
"Hyung, why don't you buy a house?" Gary asked offhandedly. "The property rates are great around this time"
"I live with my dog, and my mother only visits for a month every year. Why would I need a house?" He asked increduosly as he brought the refreshing drink back to his lips.
"I am buying one." Gary threw the announcement at him suddenly. It dawned to Jong Kook that the question was actually a precursor to the announcement and seeing how 'smooth' an operator Gary was, it was nothing short of a jolt.
Gary continued as Jong Kook gave him an indulgent look but no verbal response. "I just thought it'd be nice having one. Have a family and all"
If the water hadn't already been swallowed, it would have burst out in shock. "What did you say? Family? Is there something I don't know?"
"No, no, hyung! The rates are good and there will be family someday, so I just thought..." Gary trailed off.
"Rates are good??" Jong Kook threw a kitchen towel at the rappers head, shaking his heads as he made out of the kitchen.
However, he couldn't shake off the feeling that the short conversation had left him with. These were times when he couldn't help but accept that he wasn't growing any younger. The days were past when he could be like Gwang Soo and Joong Ki who were using the pokers as swords to mock duel right now. He probably couldn't feel the years climbing because of his excellent health, but the calenders didn't lie. He should have been the one to be talking about houses right now, putting a kid to sleep and complaining to a wife about his schedule. Instead he was here in a big clean apartment, visited by his mother every Chuseok as she took pity on him.
The bell rang once again and he made his way around the leather sofas. Ji Hyo's Monster hat bobbed in his peephole as he did his customary check for paparazzi. He panicked a bit and called out to everyone to alert them of the Guest of Honour's arrival. They quickly ran to the living room (except for Gary who was stuck with a jeon still on the skillet).
"Jong Kook hyung! Open!" Ji Hyo's impatience propelled her fist to bang on the oak door of the apartment.
"Who is it?" Jong Kook asked through the door, playfully. Suk Jin chuckled at his childishness from the sofa.
"Its me, open the door!"
"But are you pretty? Because I only allow pretty girls in."
What's with this oppa today, she wondered. "I am the most beautiful woman in the world, Oppa! Open so that I can show you!"
Jong Kook laughed at her cheek and swung open the door to face a very dorky Ji Hyo with her hat and glasses, together with a knitted sweater and knee-length shorts.
"You only let pretty girls in?" She asked indignantly and whacked him with the big packet of nachos she was carrying.
"Well, I am a man of discipline. You are pretty enough to make the cut, but Ji Hyo-ssi, where did the most beautiful woman go?" He pretended to peer out into the hallway over her head.
"Ya, Kim Jong Kook, I am the queen of this party today!" She announced and quickly turned to the amused peanut gallery that had been watching from the sofa.
The atmosphere became light again as they roped her into the barbeque installing process. We might not know how many Running Men it takes to fix a light bulb, but it takes five to fix a barbeque.
Ha Ha, as is the custom of newlyweds who are mindless about time, was running late - Jong Kook grumbled, though not without envy. His dog, Menboong, joined him in his one-man pity party. Unknown to him, Ha Ha was currently indulging in a far more dangerous task than romance with his new wife. Poor Haroro was voted to carry out this mission, where failure would bring unmentionable consequences. The catch however was that success might bring similar, if not worse, consequences. Little Ha Ha, in short (pun intended), was gearing for a death battle.
His body tingled in nervousness and arms with exhaustion as he hauled his 'contribution' in both hands to the devil's own door. He had kissed his Byul goodbye like it'll be his last. She had sense enough to not give in to his theatrics but it made her wonder why 'it' was absolutely necessary. In truth, she wanted to go herself to see what happens, but she knew she would not only be an intruder in the 'family' but would be the reason of their failure just because of her gender. This did nothing for her burning curiosity though. When so many men put their heads together for a woman, the cooks might find themselves in the soup. She wanted to see what they might end up with.
Ha Ha stood at the door for good five minutes and a rivulet of sweat travelled down his back. He finally mustered up courage and used his chin to ring the bell, refusing to set down the packages occupying his hands. Before he gave in to palpitations, the hyung's voice travelled through the door, "It must be Dong Hoon..." and the door opened to a smiling Ji Hyo. Ha Ha smiled back in relief.
"Haroro, Jong Kook hyung is furious. You are almost an hour late." She whispered to him. Loud enough to be heard by the three oldest Running Men who were in the room at the time. One of whom was glaring at him. The piercing eyes then shifted to his baggage suspiciously, making Ha Ha and the middle hyung cringe in fear.
"You brought water?" Jong Kook asked increduosly. The whole around him seemed unreal to him today. Except for the loyal Menboong, everything seemed to be taken over by aliens today. There was oil sizzling in his kitchen, meat soon to be sizzled in his balcony, nachos in a bowl on his coffee table and now Ha Ha is bringing him... water?
"In case you run out, hyung! We might get more thirsty; the weather's like that."
"It's raining, Ha Ha oppa" Ji Hyo added in her two cents, her suspicion radar tingling.
Jae Suk was panicking. The king of ad libs was momentarily at a loss, probably because there weren't any cameras running. Some quick thinking is needed.
"Ya, Kim Kook Jong!..." He tried.
"Let them be" Suk Jin muttered to him, cautioning him against redirecting Jong Kook's steadily building irritation towards him.
"Are you going to nag against water too now?" He challenged, kicking himself mentally.
"Aigoo, break it boys." Ji Hyo intervened and snatched the packs of water bottles from a reluctant Ha Ha to take to the kitchen, while Ha Ha tried his best to not follow her anxiously, to throw off his hyung's suspicion. Once 'it' is officially in and the door is firmly shut, then they can deal with the Commander.
Ji Hyo lugged the water bottles and deposited them beside the fridge, making Gary turn around at the soft thump and rustle of plastic. His eyes widened noticeably as understanding dawned. Mission Successful.
His expression didn't go unnoticed by Ji Hyo who gave the bottles another glance.
"Wait a seco---"
"Why? Why? Why?" Gary asked in panic as Ji Hyo bent down and plucked one of the bottlles from the pack. It's lack of seal was what caught her attention.
Before Gary could stop her, she unscrewed the cap to sniff. A beautiful smile spread across her face, momentarily blinding the older man.
She her lips, "It's Soju."
Menboong is not KJK's real dog's name, though I'd be using the same breed in my story. 'Menboong' is slang in Korean for 'mind blowing', though its popularly used nowadays instead of 'daebak'. The choice of the name would be clear in the next chapter.
Thank you all for the awesome comments and for subscribing to my story. I am grateful you guys took the time out to read and review!
Please forgive me for any errors; it's 4 in the morning here and I am sleep deprived, enough to let my grammar fly out of the window.
Lastly, please feel free to inform me if you feel its going too slow.
Thank you! Enjoy reading! :)
KJK hovers around SJH in most of the 10-minute screen time he got. What does that say about the man? Yes, he lurrrrrves his girl! LOL, I am feeling mushy today.
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