Jongup let his hair fall to his eyes, his eyes crinkling a few times as some strands hit it. A book was resting on his thighs, fingers casually following every word with his eyes. This was his daily activity inside his room. He took short glances to anyone who was entering his room and then bid goodbye silently afterwards.

He doesn’t know what to feel out of this. The white painted walls somehow made him harder to breathe, the white pristine sheets, the white flowers in a white vase, the white chair, everything was white besides the table, the door and the scene outside the window.

He closed his book and tried to look outside, but as expected, he only saw darkness from it. Small shimmering lights were on the sky – he doesn’t know if it was stars or satellites, but the kid inside him thinks that it was the former – shone bright as they can, trying to outstand each other. In times like this he had always wished that there would be someone there to talk to him, but then he guessed that wishing for more was just him being selfish.

At the time he closed his book, the door opened revealing a panting man holding a brown paper bag. He was sweating, obviously from running a few meters hastily from maybe chasing the last train home, chased by a dog somewhere in the neighbourhood or maybe he just wanted to see someone so bad that he couldn’t help but run from wherever he were.

A smile coursed on his lips as he saw him again. “Jongup! I’m sorry that I’m so so so late today!” He said as he staggered as if he was drunk from a party or something, towards Jongup. He pulled a monoblock that was placed away by a nurse before back to the side of his bed. “Job was pretty hectic Jongup! They said that I have to stay from morning till late at night!” He said with lips pouted and hand movements.

Jongup couldn’t help but laugh at him. He was so animated, lively, bright, despite this thing happening to them Chanyeol never ceased to smile and make his day bright. “What is your new job hyung?” He asked cutting Chanyeol right in the middle of his sentence.

Chanyeol pursed his lips then tapped it before grinning like a fool. “A waiter in a really famous restaurant!” He said with his arms spread widely.   “But as I said, the time that I have to work is really really long, but the pay was good! It’s enough to let you stay in this room, and the food is great, they give their employees some extra food!” He said as he took the brown bag from the small table beside them. “Have you already eaten anything?” He asked as his gaze was focused on the food, trying to look what he has inside the bag.

The man on the bed nodded his head, he had already taken his dinner that the nurse brought earlier. As usual, the food lacks flavour and love. Chanyeol’s smile completely became a scowl after muttering comments on how he feels lonely eating alone and that Jongup should’ve waited for him. The foods were placed in plastic bags, each encased tightly, moist appearing on the sides. Because of the foods, Jongup assumed that the place was an Italian restaurant.

“Come on Uppie, just a little bite wouldn’t hurt. Look, this lasagna is really delicious!” He said as he raised a fork with a sluggish lasagna pasta with red sauce on it was hanging loosely on the edge.

It was these times where Jongup felt the sudden warmth of home, the sudden rush of serenity, that feeling of having your body relaxed to its greatest extent. He missed this. He was grateful indeed, having someone like Chanyeol to take care of him like this, but he did know that caring for others can be burden as well, and he doesn’t want to see Chanyeol getting tired of him.

 In the same white room, Jongup leaned forward, took the lasagna pasta in his mouth and slurped the rest that was left on his lips. A slob of red colored the tips of his pale lips, a thumb went to it and swiped the said color. Jongup watched as Chanyeol his thumb, smiled at him like the fool he always been and continued eating his food.

“Hyung, we should really take what Yifan offers us.” He said out of the blue.

As if time stopped, Chanyeol’s hand was suspended in the air, same fork but with a smaller piece of ground meat with red paste was hanging on it instead of a lasagna pieace. Jongup couldn’t help but see how Chanyeol’s face darkened with his peripheral vision. It was dark, eyes suddenly closed midway, hand slowly dropping back to his front with the fork once again resting inside the bag. A sigh escaped his red slobbered lips. “We already talked about this Jongup.”

He bit his lips as his fingers played the sheets. “I know,” he up a huge amount of air before exhaling everything. “ I know but we need it hyung, we can’t bother your parents anymore, I can’t bother you with expenses anymore.” He tried once again with the same reason that Chanyeol ignored before, thinking that maybe the phrase Second time’s a charm applies here as well.

“The answer is still no Jongup.” He answered sternly. He placed the pack of food on the table, wiped his lips with the handkerchief he took from his back pocket before rising up with the pack of food once again in his hand. “I’m just going to throw this out, go to sleep and rest, I’ll ask them if I can sleep here just one time.” He said before he turned around and walked away without hearing Jongup’s words.

He messed up once again. Jongup bit his lips as he watched his fading figure with bitten bottom lip and itchiness in his eyes. No thoughts stayed in his head but the figure of Chanyeol shaking his head, disagreeing with whatever he says.

Jongup failed to see the reason why Chanyeol keeps on saying no. Is it because Yifan was the son of the one who made him like this? If that’s the reason then wouldn’t it be more logical to accept his help? Was it because of the agenda behind the offer? That Chanyeol was too obsessed with the idea of justice? As questions continue to fill his head with an image of Chanyeol behind it, his body moved to the most comfortable position on his bed and draped the sheet all over him.

A few seconds after, Jongup who was known to be a light sleeper, felt something heavy on his shoulder. He tried his best not to look and move but the constant rubbing of a thumb was too much to ignore. He assumed that it was Chanyeol, of course it should be him, who would even do that if it wasn’t him? Then the thumb along with the hand disappeared, Jongup frowned secretly at the loss of warmth.

A few seconds dropped then a he felt something just land at the side of the bed. Then a soft snore echoed. He waited for few good seconds before he opened his eyes. There he saw Chanyeol, tired, resting with his elbows crossed against the softness of the bed with his cheek on top of it, face facing left.

 He can see that he was tired, dead tired from whatever he did the whole day. He’s not okay with it, Moon Jongup wasn’t totally okay with it. All of his life, he was depending on him. No matter how hard he tried to pick up his own and deal with his problem on his own, Chanyeol would somehow or another makes an appearance somewhere in the middle of it and will help him fix it, no matter what it was.

He was more than grateful to Chanyeol, and well before he knew it, feelings intensified and now Jongup couldn’t control it.

He was a heavy sleeper, contrast on how light Jongup was when he’s asleep. He leaned down, pecked a small kiss on his cheek before quickly backing off. His head was an inch away from the headboard, luckily it didn’t hit.

“Goodnight Chanyeol hyung…” He muttered before smiling at his own self and finally drifting to sleep once again.

Good night Jongup … Jongup thought he heard from him before sleep finally took over him.

Jongup woke up without any man within his sight. The trash bin was clean, the chair was placed back to the table and his sheet was tucked in his body again. He groaned as he pushed himself away from the bed and sat in the middle. He turned to the time and saw how late he woke up, he really did have a good sleep last time and the only night that he felt at peace after the incident.

The doctor came in along with the papers signed by himself that says that he can be discharged from the hospital after they both settled the bills. Jongup nodded at the news and at him and watched as the doctor and his nurse disappeared from his sight. He looked at the paper containing the price they have to pay before he can go home, and to be honest, Jongup’s eyes doubled at the sight of so many zero’s side by side.

He grunted at this, if they failed to pay the bill as soon as possible, the hospital would only keep adding the bills for every second they spend. Jongup felt that he needed to solve this as soon as possible, but there’s nothing he could do but sigh and stared at it.

He pushed himself and lied down on his bed again with his back facing the door. He can see the sky outside the window, it was clear and really beautiful, like that day when Yifan took him out for a stroll. Yifan, for Jongup, was a very dignified man, despite the unfortunate first meeting they got, Jongup thought that Yifan is indeed different.

Yifan was the epitome of manhood. Jongup had always adorned how well his stature was, and how he handle things with his words, although he had a few slipups, Jongup know that every word that came out from his lips were sincere and really pure.

Then before Jongup noticed it, there was a creaking sound of a stool being pulled. He turned around to see who was that, wishing that it’ll be Chanyeol or one of his friends, but the man wasn’t them. Speaking of the devil.

“You’re here again to make me sign that deal right?” Jongup murmured as he pushed himself, once again, from the bed.

Yifan blinked at him and bit his lips. He sighed before slowly nodding. “We don’t have that much time Jongup. It’s either you agree with my deal and take the money for your payments or let my parents handle this, and I’m going to guarantee you that it’ll never end well for your part.”

It’s been days since he last seen Yifan’s serious expression.

His hand tightened above the sheets. The feeling of being helplessness was settling once again. He turned to Yifan and saw that he was totally serious about this, who would even joke about these things?

Jongup bit his lips and weighed the pros and cons of things again. His hand shook for a bit as it whitens with every passing second. Rustling were heard beside him and before he knew it, Yifan was already beside him, eyes tinted with concern and something more. A paper was showed in front of him, it was the contract that he have to sign to get things go back to normal, he took it slowly before placing it on his lap.

“You know … Chanyeol hyung doesn’t really like you.” He muttered, unknown reason was behind it.

Yifan was surprised at the idle chat Jongup had made. “Don’t worry, the feeling is mutual.” He hissed before shaking his head slightly and leaned back to relax.

“Chanyeol hyung cares for me too much.” He whispered before looking at the man relaxing beside him. He smiled, though it was weak and him being foolish.

“I thought that it was fine to lean towards Chanyeol hyung, though as time passed by, I tried to distance myself away from him thinking that I’m being a burden to him. But that didn’t go well and he was mad at me for thinking like that. Ever since that day, I became much more open to hyung, I said all my problems to him and he’ll always comfort me. It was nice.”

Yifan listened to the kid’s rambles with focused attention. His back was straightened with his eyes towards Jongup’s reminiscing expression. It was different now to see him like this. Whenever they cross path, Yifan see Jongup as a snarky kid with lots of issues, he didn’t know that he have this kind of image of him, fragile, Yifan concluded.

“You … like him, do you?” Yifan asked all of a sudden when the guy stopped talking.

Jongup snapped his head towards him, stares meeting midway. No one flinched nor turned away, they were just looking at each other, second by second, not even blinking, and there Yifan had stopped breathing.

When the staring contest ended, Jongup shifted his eyes towards the ground, head lowered down and fingers on his sheet. “Maybe…” He whispered.

Yifan breathed in sharply before noticing that Jongup had started signing the papers he gave him.