These last couple of days have been horrible. Top continues to sleep around with women, Taeyang is actually embarrassing me way too much in front of Top and Daesung doesn’t leave me alone. There is nothing wrong with me! Why doesn’t anyone understand that?

I let out a soft yawn as I walked into the kitchen and looked at my band mates. They seem to be chatting about something important since they were are really focused on the conversation. I shrugged and grabbed a bowl then poured myself some cereal. I yawned once more before pouring milk into my bowl then grabbed a spoon and sat down at the table with them. I began to eat my cereal and almost choked when I heard the word ‘Homoual’. I looked up from my bowl and looked around “What are you guys talking about exactly?” I asked, curiously and slightly scared for some reason. I looked at Taeyang wondering if he had said anything.

Taeyang looked at me and smiled a bit “we were just having a conversation about homouals. Everyone gave their opinion except for Top” He said then turned his attention back to the black haired male “So? What do you think about homouals?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. Top huffed but began to think about it “hm…what do I think?.....I think….homouals are disgusting beings who shouldn’t exist…. That’s what I think” he said in a harsh tone as he continued to eat.

My jaw dropped as I heard his comment and I stared at him. Taeyang was shocked and he suddenly turned to look at me as I got up “Hey G Dragon where are you going?” He asked. I was too upset to respond as I ran out of the room and went into the bathroom. I slammed the door and leaned my back against it. I couldn’t believe what happened right now, ‘Why did it have to happen this way?’ I looked around and looked at myself in the mirror.

‘Why am I not good enough for anyone?’ I wondered as I then looked down and saw a razor blade. I stared at it for a minute before I reached down for it. I grabbed it and held the sharp edge to my wrist. I was starting to push the blade into my skin until I heard someone saying my name. I set the blade down and opened the door “What is it Daesung?” I asked, sighing softly. Daesung looked at me and frowned faintly “We have to go to Music Bank today remember?.....Are you okay?” He asked. I didn’t answer him as I closed the door and locked it. I began to get ready for the presentation but the thought of harming myself still lingered in my mind….