*This will be in G Dragon's POV unless otherwise stated, enjoy ^^

Hi Journal, it is eleven at night and I am going to be writing in you from now on. I don't promise that I will write interesting things in you(because my life really isn't that interesting) but I will try to use as much detail as I can....Now where should I begin? Oh right... I know where...

I was laying down on the couch, listening to music as Taeyang figured out what our next choreography should be. I smiled a bit when he told me to help him out. I shook my head "Nah Taeyang, you're the one with the talent after all. I'll just watch you okay?" I said to him then blinked when I felt someone staring at me. I looked over to see Daesung just watching me. I tilted my head to the side slightly and gave him a quizzical look "Is something wrong Daesung?" I asked as I watched him sit on the floor near the couch. He looked down at my journal then looked up at me "What's that journal for? Are you writing intimate things in there?" He asked in a slightly teasing manner. I thought about it for a bit, should I tell him what I am planning to write in here? 

I cleared my throat and shrugged a bit "I just want to write in here so I don't get criticized. There are so many things I just can't tell you guys cause...I'm scared one of you will start hating me" I muttered quietly. Before Daesung could say anything to me, TOP came into the apartment with two girls by his side. He had his arms wrapped around their waists as he smirked so smugly at Seungri. I hated the fact that Seungri turned him into what he is now but I couldn't say anything so I just looked down and let out a soft sigh.

Seungri pouted a bit and scowled "Damn it hyung! Why do you have to bring girls here every single night?! It's supposed to be me bringing all those girls here, not you!" He said, somewhat angrily and crossed his arms in front of his chest with a huff. TOP looked at him and chuckled then looked at me "Hey G Dragon, what do you think? These babes are hot right?" He asked, waiting for my response but when I didn't respond, he raised an eyebrow "Man Ji Yong, sometimes you act so gay" He said as he led the girls into his room and closed the door behind them.

My eyes widened slightly when he said that. The way he said it made it seem like it was a bad thing to be gay. Now I really can't tell him anything. I began to think about the worst case scenarios in the case that I someday confess but I was quickly snapped out of my thoughts by Daesung who kept saying my name. I blinked several times before looking at him. Daesung was looking at me with a look of concern on his face "Hyung.... are you okay? You seem bothered by TOP for some reason." He pointed out and placed a hand on my shoulder gently "If you need anything, please remember that I'm always here for you"

I forced a smile as I lightly nodded "Thank you Daesung, I will remember that.... I really want to be alone right now. Sorry. I'll be in my room" I said, getting up and quickly left the living room without another word. I went into the room I shared with Taeyang and let myself fall on the bed. I stared up at the ceiling for a while, just wondering what I should do. If i tell TOP that I love him, he might get disgusted by me. I closed my eyes as a few tears threatened to come out of my eyes. I really felt so helpess....

I guess that's all for today..... Goodbye for now Journal.... Hopefully I will have something far more interesting next time.....