Part 11: “A Back-up Plan?”

 

 

“His blood pressure dropped and he’s a bit stressed…For now, we have to retain him for further observation…” the doctor informed Yunho. He looked over to Jaejoong who’s lying half reclined on the hospital bed and nodded.

 

He waited until the doctor leave first and then moved slowly to the side of the bed. He the hair off Jaejoong’s forehead and placed his palm against his forehead to check on the temperature. Thankfully, it’s receding and Jaejoong’s cheeks also slowly regained some of their color.

 

Breathed out in relief, Yunho lowered down on the chair next to the bed. He laced their hands together and twitched it softly. Jaejoong turned his gaze to Yunho, blinking his eyes weakly but not saying anything. But not for too long.

 

“What should I do now?” Yunho could hear the way his voice hardened; the tears shimmered in his eyes.

 

“I’m not prepared with all of these…I’m not expecting this at all…what should I do? My life is about to change…everything will about to change…my…”

 

“…my tummy will grow bigger…no no…this is can’t be happening…I’m not ready for others to find out about our relationship yet…not just yet…the Jeju project is still in its early process, I have to make it work…I have to…but…but…”

 

“Jaejoong-ah…” Yunho stopped him by shaking his head. Jaejoong stared at him, transfixed.

 

“I don’t think I can do this…” Jaejoong said with pleading eyes. His voice’s barely a whisper.

 

“Of course you can…” Yunho replied softly but Jaejoong disagreed. He shook his head furiously.

 

“No…no…you don’t understand…I’m not ready for this…!” Jaejoong raised his voice.

 

“I’m not like you…I came from uncertain family background…I don’t even know the name of my parents! They just abandoned me and left…I’m unwanted…I have nothing to be proud of…my life is full with some crappy memories…I stumbled upon some hideous bastards who loves to take advantage on someone like me…these…ALL OF THESE will be out in the open once people found out about our marriage!” he cried out.

 

“I don’t care!” Yunho’s voice matched the tone of Jaejoong’s voice.

 

“But I do! I don’t care about what others will think about me but you…my existence will only bring a stain in your name…in your life…! And now I’m carrying a baby?”

 

“Then what? You want to abort it? You heard what the doctor said…this is a chance in a lifetime…”

 

The tears slipped out from Jaejoong’s eyes. His lips trembled.

 

“I’m scared…I don’t know what to do and I don’t know if I can do this…I’m so scared, Yunho-ah…”

 

“Can’t you see? You’re not alone now…you have me…you have Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun…”

 

The tears spilled over Jaejoong’s cheeks as Yunho pulled him into his embrace.

 

“It’s fine to be scared… it’s fine to depend on someone sometimes…and its fine to make a mistake…because you have me now and I’ll always be there for you…” Yunho whispered and awarded a soft kiss on Jaejoong’s forehead.

 

“…for our baby…”

 

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Taking his time walking alone at the hospital park, Jaejoong threw his gaze up above the sky, feeling the touch of the cool breeze against his pale skin. With both of his hands tucked inside the front pockets of his patient clothes, Jaejoong stopped when he reached at one of the lawn chair and slowly he settled down on it.

 

He kicked off his sandals, enjoying the feel of the silky grass beneath his bare feet. The sound of the leaves rustled above him merged with the sound of the children’s laughter. Jaejoong couldn’t help but to smile as he watched the kids running around the mini playground. They’re happy even though they’re sick. It’s good to be kids, like they’re living in their own world – not knowing the reality of the life is harsh.

 

He wished he could have some of those moments just like them because Jaejoong matured before his age. The reality stole his childhood moment from him, taught him to be strong. He thought he could survive even though he’s alone. But now that he’s grown up, there was a child inside him who’s yearning for the comfort, the love, the security from whom he should call as mom and dad. Never once he thought that he would get all them from his husband instead.

 

Ironically; he’s about to have a child of his own.

 

Jaejoong looked down as he pressed his hand against his tummy.

 

“Are you really in there?” he asked softly, still hard to believe it. It’s like he’s walking in his dream.

 

“What should I call you? Hmm…” Jaejoong stayed in silence, as he thinks for a suitable nickname.

 

“Sarangie?”

 

“Should I call you Sarangie?” He smiled; loving the sound of it. Yunho would definitely love it too, he thought.

 

“Sarangie it is…”

 

“Sarangie-ah…please forgive me for the scene I made earlier…I have no intention to abort you…I wasn’t even thinking about it, not even a slightest…I’m allowed to feel scared, right? Your daddy said I can…” Jaejoong chuckled as he recalled it.

 

“Sarangie-ah…I’m freaked out…not because I hate you, but because I’m not sure whether I can raise you or not…I never once taste the love from my parents, so I have no idea on how raising a kid should be like…no role model, and no one to ask…and unfortunately your daddy is an orphan too…”

 

A sigh escaped from his mouth, trying to imagine how the future would be like. Whether he would succeed or give up? But he’s not alone now. Yunho was right. He has so many things that he never imagine he could have or achieve before. On second thought, hell yes he can do it. It’s not going to be easy but he will pass this test. Because he doesn’t want his baby to grow up in the same environment like he did.

 

Jaejoong flinched when he felt someone wrapped his shoulder with a sweater. He glanced up and met Yunho’s concern eyes.

 

“It’s cold out here…” Yunho said and took a spot next to him.

 

“I don’t intend to stay out for too long…just want to take some air…it’s stuffy to stay in that room for too long…”

 

Yunho nodded, not complaining. He joined Jaejoong, watching the children enjoying their times playing together. Jaejoong took that opportunity to eye Yunho from the side, not taking his eyes off him.

 

“What’s wrong?” Yunho caught Jaejoong staring at him and shifted his gaze to the latter. Jaejoong replied him while shaking his head. Smiling secretly, his eyes trailed off down to Yunho’s hand. He slipped his hand underneath Yunho’s strong one and intertwined their fingers together.

 

“Yunho-ah…”

 

Yunho answered him with a simple ‘hmmm’.

 

“Thanks for giving me a new life…”

 

Yunho turned around gazing at him; his eyes softening.

 

“If only I can give you a new reason to live too…”

 

“You did…” Jaejoong countered, bringing Yunho’s hand to his stomach.

 

“You did give me a new reason to live…” He repeated, referring to the baby he’s carrying.

 

Staring deeply into Jaejoong’s eyes, Yunho’s hand travelled to Jaejoong’s back – pulling him closer and kissed him soundly on his lips.

 

“Move in and live with me, please…”

 

Jaejoong looked up, startled by the sudden request.

 

“…and I want to come clean about our relationship in the near future…I’ll give you as many times as you need to prepare yourself…but first, you have to move in and live with me…” Yunho sounded so determined.

 

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Yunho parked his car under the porch and turned off the ignition.

 

“Oh…Changminnie and Yoochunnie were already here…” Yunho said after he saw their cars parked side by side. He unlatched the seatbelt back into its place and glanced at the man’s sitting on the passenger seat.

 

“Are you okay?” Yunho asked Jaejoong when he showed no reaction. His face pinched with concern.

 

“You remember about the promise we made beforehand?”

 

Yunho nodded and helped to unbuckle the seatbelt for him.

 

“I remember…no-more-lies…” He enunciated it one by one, stressing it out word by word.

 

 That’s right. No more lies – that’s the condition that they’ve agreed upon before Jaejoong moved into Yunho’s house.

 

“So, if there’s anything that you want to confess, better do it now before I step into the house.”   

 

Yunho looked far out past Jaejoong’s shoulder, thinking.

 

“I…don’t think there’s anything else that I need to confess or to clarify…but there might be something that I don’t tell you because I have my own reason for not doing so…”

 

Jaejoong opened up his mouth to say something but closed again when Yunho cut him to it.

 

“…but they are not lies…” He raised his finger up to stress his point.

 

“It’s acceptable then…everyone’s entitled to their own secret…”

 

Yunho grinned, knowing that he made the right decision to marry Jaejoong considering that not many people like when their partner are keeping secret from them.

 

“So…shall we go now?”

 

Smiling softly, Jaejoong nodded.

 

“Wait here…”

 

“W-what?”

 

 Yunho didn’t answer. Jaejoong’s eyes followed Yunho’s movement as he pushed the door open and ran out to get to the other side; Jaejoong’s side and opened up for him.

 

Jaejoong let out a half laugh as he glanced from Yunho’s extended hand to his face.

 

“You do know I can walk, right?”

 

“Well…I was thinking to just swing you off your feet, but I think it’s probably too much…”

 

“Luckily you don’t…it’s too much…” Jaejoong said and accepted Yunho’s waiting hand.

 

“You know…if you keep on treating me like this, my will probably grow bigger than my stomach…”

 

A shadow of smile curved Yunho’s mouth, hearing Jaejoong nagging, like how a mother would do.

 

“Don’t worry…I love you anyway…”

 

“Urghh…” Jaejoong cringed. It’s useless talking to him; Jaejoong thought and pushed him out of his way.

 

They’re not yet entering the house when Junsu suddenly ran out to get to them. His eyeballs moved wildly almost like a hawk as he’s searching for something or someone.

 

“Where is it?! Where is it?!” He asked, running around circling Jaejoong.

 

“What?”

 

“The baby? Where is it? I can’t wait to hold him…her” He jumped up and down, eagerly to meet his nephew/niece.

 

The two of them exchanged glanced when Yoochun came out to rescue.

 

“The baby’s not coming out for the next 6 months, Junsu-ah…”

 

“Really? Why? Can’t he come out now?” Junsu blinked his eyes innocently as he asked. Yoochun replied him with a shaky laugh.

 

While everyone’s focusing on Junsu, Changmin moved to Yunho’s side and whispering something to his ear.

 

“Don’t you teach him about human’s anatomy?”

 

“How can I? Just look at him…he’s still young-mentally-for me to teach something like that…” Yunho answered him; also whispering.

 

Right after Yunho finished telling him that, both of them then shot their eyes to each other; suddenly thinking of something. The same thing. They hurried to Yoochun’s side, pulling him farther away from Junsu to have a private conversation. Yoochun just followed them with a clueless face.

 

“Yoochun-ah…for the past two years you’re dating Junsu…have you two done ‘it’?”

 

The blush crept all over Yoochun’s cheek upon hearing that question.

 

“Don’t tell me…” Changmin cupped his mouth, shocked. But that expression slowly eased out and

 

“Aish…just look at him! I don’t even dare to touch him in that way…it’s like doing it with an innocent kid!” Yoochun answered in his defend.

 

Jaejoong eyed them and shook his head. He walked to Junsu and pulled him by his forearm.

 

“What are they talking about, hyung?”

 

“Just ignore them…they’re being stupid…come…hyung wanna show you something…”

 

Junsu followed him to the living room where he saw Jaejoong took out something from his bag. He lowered down to sit on the couch and then patted the spot next to him; gesturing him to sit down.

 

“Here…”Jaejoong showed him the pregnancy ultrasound photo.

 

“What is this?”

 

“Can you see this tiny little thing here…?” Jaejoong circled the spot with his finger. Junsu nodded, his bottom lip jutting out a bit.

 

“This is the baby…this is what’s inside my belly right now…” he caressed his tummy with a smug smile.

 

“E-ehhh~~~?! This little bean here is the baby?!!!” Junsu shrieked, snatching the photo from him and brought it close to his eyes. He didn’t expect it to be that small.

 

“The baby is still small…that’s why we have to wait a little bit longer for the baby to come out…so that he can grow up first…”

 

Junsu’s formed a silence ‘O’. He nodded again. The trio overheard their conversation and took a quick strode to join them. Yoochun took the photo from Junsu’s hand, standing in between Yunho and Changmin.

 

“The gender is still unknown…and here another thing…I took this from the hospital…” Jaejoong opened up the pamphlet he brought home with him.

 

“You can see how it progress month by month…it even provides the explanation if you want to read…” He placed on Junsu’s laps and Junsu accepted it with a face like he just received a bucket full candy.

 

“This is so interesting~ thanks hyung~”

 

Jaejoong cocked his head, pulling the hem of Yunho’s shirt.

 

“So…where’s your room? I need some rest…”

 

 “Correction…it’s our room” Yunho smiled up to his ears.

 

“So…shall we?” Yunho’s hand was about to hold Jaejoong but Jaejoong just simple brushed it away.

 

“Carry the bags…” He ordered and walked ahead in the front.

 

“Ahh right…the bags…” Yunho ran back to the couch and picked up the bags.

 

“Hurry up…” Jaejoong commanded, he stopped at the foot of the staircase; waiting for Yunho.

 

“Coming~”

 

Changmin and Yoochun watched as Yunho hastily caught up after Jaejoong’s brisk steps and struggling with two bags in each side of his hands at the same time. They glanced from Yunho to each other and burst into a cackle of laughter.

 

“A new servant?”

 

Changmin palmed his mouth, still laughing.

 

“Changmin-ah~! Bring me a glass of warm milk!” Changmin straightened up his body like a robot upon hearing Jaejoong shouted from the level 2.

 

“Coming up right away~!” Changmin scurried to the kitchen leaving Yoochun speechless.

 

“What the hell did I just see?” Yoochun shook his head and turning his body around to wrap his arm on Junsu’s shoulder.

 

“Yoochun-ah!!! Go home!!! Touch my dongsaeng, I’ll kill you!!!!!” Yunho screamed.

 

“EHHHH~~?!!!! But it’s still early~!!!” Yoochun whined but Yunho didn’t bother to listen.

 

“I can’t trust my Junsu to a deprived like you…” Yunho muttered, dragging the bags to his room.

 

“How the hell that he can even hold back? I can’t even look at Jae without drooling…hmmm…”

 

“Jung Yunho?” Jaejoong stuck his head out of the room; his eyes flaring at him.

 

“Coming coming~!”

 

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That night, Jaejoong couldn’t seem to fall asleep. More like the sleep eluded him. It’ll probably require him some times for him to get used to the new surrounding and whole new atmosphere. Their bedroom is thrice times bigger than his old room. The smell is different and even the air he’s breathing seems so different.

 

He missed his old bed and he missed Changmin. Normally Changmin would stop by his room to wish him good night before he head to bed. It’s a bit lonely now that he thinks that Changmin would no longer able to do that. The feeling was somewhat like he left his parents behind and moved in with a new family.

 

That’s right – a family. He has a family now.

 

Yunho who’s just coming back from tuck in Junsu to sleep was surprised to find that Jaejoong’s wide awake. He wasn’t even lying on the bed but sitting at the table writing something.

 

“Jae…what are you doing?”

 

Jaejoong put down the pen and glanced to him.

 

“Junsu’s already asleep?”

 

“Emm…read him the Rapunzel tonight…” Yunho marched across the bedroom straight to him. He wrapped his arms around Jaejoong’s slender body from the back and awarded him a soft kiss on his head.

 

“You’re not answering my question…what are you doing just now and not sleeping?”

 

“My eyes feel oddly fresh so I decided to wait for you…”

 

Yunho’s eyes caught a book on the table and he reached out for it.

 

“A diary?” Yunho guessed, arched his brown brow.

 

“It’s actually a diary for our baby…”

 

Yunho blinked his eyes, thinking that he did hear about it somewhere before. From Ji Won noona maybe?  Feeling curious, he flipped it open to the first page and was delighted to see their picture together.

 

“Mommy & Daddy” Yunho read it out loud and flashed a grin. Pushing it with the tip of his finger, he flipped it to the next page. And this time he saw the ultrasound picture was pasted on it.

 

‘Our Sarangie, age : 2 months’ – was written at the bottom of the picture.

 

Dear Sarangie,

The date of the first entry of this diary is also the same date of when I’m moving into your Daddy’s place. We’re finally together – all the four of us, including your uncle Junsu. I feel slightly dizzy and fatigue but I couldn’t fall asleep. Just by thinking of you, I feel energized.

 

You’re so small that I still couldn’t believe it that there’s you in there. Grow up healthily and be a good baby, neh…Mommy and Daddy love you ♥♥♥

 

Yunho’s mouth quirked a smile as he read it. He rubbed Jaejoong’s arm up and down. He grabbed the pen on the table and added something in the diary.

 

Sarangie-ah,

This is your Daddy. Good night our baby…love you~ ♥

 

“So…can we go to bed now?”

 

Jaejoong nodded and slid out from behind the table. Then without giving a clue or cue, Yunho lifted Jaejoong swiftly into bridal style; his legs floating and dangling in the air. Jaejoong let out a small squeak when he’s being lifted up and flung his arms around Yunho’s neck for protection.

 

“Jaejoongie…you need to eat more…how can the baby grow up if you’re too skinny…”

 

“But if I gain weight; you wouldn’t want to carry me anymore~”

 

Yunho let out a soft chuckle.

 

“Well…it probably requires some more strength but I wouldn’t mind…I could always see your face like this…” Yunho mentioned about their current position.

 

“Eeee…such a sweet talker~~” With his hands circling around Yunho’s neck, Jaejoong pulled Yunho in for a kiss. 

 

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Preview for the next chapter: “Morning Sickness & Misunderstanding”

 

Jaejoong slowly got to taste a bittersweet phases of pregnancy with his worst morning sickness. While Jaejoong stays at home – recuperating, another wave of rumor hit YJ Group.

 

***

 

At long last, Jaejoong fell into a deep sleep while snuggling close to Yunho. Feeling the warmth of Jaejoong’s body against him, Yunho would expect a whole night of peaceful and uninterrupted sleep. Until…

 

*THUMP!

 

Junsu slammed the door open and stormed in.

 

Junsu’s hysterical crying caused Yunho and Jaejoong sprung up from their sleep with a strangle gasp – like how their souls were forced to go back to the real world.

 

Junsu: Huuuwwwwwaaaaaaaaa~~~!!! Hyung~~~!!! *climbed on the bed and pushed Yunho out of his way hard*

 

Yunho: Urrghhh! *fell down from the bed and landed flatly on his *

 

Jaejoong: Junsu-ah…what’s wrong?

 

Junsu: Hyung~ I have a nightmare…*hiccup* I saw Rapunzel fell off the tower and died. *wailing*

 

Jaejoong: What?! Aww~ That’s so sad~ *patted Junsu’s back*

 

Yunho: That’s not the right way to answer that…it’s not even real…!

 

Junsu: What should I do now hyung? I’m so scared…I can’t even sleep…I’m afraid that she will come and haunt me *Hugged Jaejoong tightly*

 

Jaejoong: You can sleep with us.

 

Junsu: Really? *hiccup*

 

Yunho: That’s right…how can I forget about our big baby here… *sleep on the bed with Junsu sandwiched in between them* this is gonna be a loonngg night…

 

~Stay tuned for the next chapter~ ^^

 

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A/N: Korean would normally named their baby during the pregnancy but it's not really an official name. it's just a nickname they use to refer their baby as.  So here, Sarangie is just a nickname and the real name is yet to be determined^^

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