Sulli crouched in the middle of the barren field, entranced by the beautiful flower standing strong and still amidst everything rotten and dead. She longed to touch it, pick it up and take it home with her, maybe fill in the lonely space that is –was– her room. But there was a saying, she remembered, that if you love a flower, do not pick it or it will die.  So she kept her arms by her side, pushing the thought of taking the lovely flower with her, hoping it was enough to only look and not possess.

But there were so many things she couldn’t have, she reasoned.

She couldn’t have doting parents that checks on her before bed or simply say that they love her once or twice in her life. She couldn’t have a brother who would annoy her or a sister to share secrets and giggle with in the dark of the night. She was only a mistake, never intended to exist yet was able to breathe due to her parents’ once in a lifetime display of charity. 

She couldn’t have a chance to fit in, and instead became the object to torment for the other students, outcasts or not. She couldn’t have a day without the snickers and the taunts on how unruly her hair was or how ugly she was. She couldn’t have a friend who was not ashamed to be friends with her or one she can eat lunch with or trade shirts here and there.

She snapped her eyes shut. There were many things Sulli couldn’t have. She couldn’t have a loving family. She couldn’t have a supporting friend. She couldn’t have love.

Sulli gritted her teeth, taming the anger within. She couldn’t even have this flower.

She the lush petals with her eyes, knowing if she laid her hands on the flower, she could never resist taking it with her. She barely knew what love was but she would treat this one particular life form with so much of that foreign feeling, it would live forever beside her. Surely a single touch wouldn’t hurt, right?

She carefully touched the edges of the petal with her fingertips. For a brief second, all she could feel was joy, purely elated by how good it felt under her skin. But then, it began to wilt and rot and finally lay lifeless on the ground. The only living thing standing tall and proud on the forsaken ashes of what was once a population of living, breathing creatures fell to the ground, its beauty dissipating as the seconds went painfully by.

Sulli felt the last of her strength leaving her as life did with the flower. She fell to the ground, hoping she could share the same fate as the flower somehow. If only her touch could destroy her as well…

The last thing she saw before her consciousness disappeared was the sight of two bulky men approaching her, their faces blurred by the tears. She could barely make out the word destroy and evil from one of the men.

Destroyer; how aptly named, she thought as she fell willingly into the darkness that ate her whole.

 

 

 

18^thNovember. 0219 hours

 

Sehun never once hesitated to follow Sulli as she climbed her way up the roof while everyone was still in shock. Chanyeol was the most affected as Sulli pushed him to the ground with strength that could easily defeat those specialized in the area. He ran with the help of the wind to propel him forward and faster.

He never realized the existence of the stairs that lead to the top of the building before. The last he heard of the roof was that it was sealed completely and no one was allowed to enter since a lot of patients has been trying to commit suicide by jumping off the building.

He climbed the stairs before meeting a large hole tearing through the hard concrete.

Sehun dashed through the hole and saw Sulli floating in mid-air, her hair flying behind her, adding terror to those who could see her. But not Sehun. He knew Sulli was in there somewhere and she’d be fighting for everything to end soon. In the meantime, he had to help show her the way.

“Sulli, stop what you’re doing!”

She turned and Sehun gasped at the prominent red and black in her eyes, enhancing the malicious features he never knew existed on her face.

“Sulli, this is not you. Come back to me,” he pleaded, braving himself to take a step closer.

The red in her eyes burned brighter but he couldn’t miss the hints of white trying to replace the darkness in them. She was doing it. Sulli was fighting to find her way back.

“They should all pay!” Sulli roared, her voice deeper than usual.

Sehun stilled himself, as he watched her carefully. Her pupils were starting to constrict despite her words, and he couldn’t stop now.

“…humiliated me… hated me… treated me like a piece of trash!”

Lightning flashed and Sehun flinched at the close proximity of the incandescent streak. Sulli continued to mumble and sobbed as she lowered to the ground.

“…destroyed everything. Even the flower. Destroyer. Evil. I AM EVIL!”

The ground was starting to shake as Sulli began to sob furiously. The red light on her wrist began blinking; an indication that the whole facility would soon know this was her doing. He tried to keep the air still so the sound wouldn’t travel farther than the roof or at least, the room below. But the wind was too strong, too chaotic, for him to control and his only hope lied with Luna, trusting Luhan to control what was needed in this time of distress.

The tiles beneath him started to crack. Sehun forced himself to remain calm. At this rate, he thought, the whole building would collapse in a matter of seconds. And it would only be a few minutes before the guards would swarm this place, eliminating any chances of escape. He had to find a way to calm her down.

Sweat began to form beneath the skin of his forehead as he pursued his efforts in approaching Sulli.

“Easy there, Sulli. You’re good and that’s all that matters.”

“Good? Hell, there’s nothing good about me! Haven’t you heard Sehun? I destroyed an entire town by myself! BY MYSELF!”

As she screamed, the sky did the same. Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed across the sky as the vibrations beneath his feet made it harder for him to balance himself. He needed to do this fast before Sulli lose her fight with her darker self.

 Just a few more steps.

“I’m evil, Sehun, EVIL! I only bring destruction and devastation to the world. I SHOULD BE DEAD!”

At her last word, a of lightning began heading towards where Sulli was standing. Sehun dashed towards her and pushed her out of the way just in the nick of time. He pulled her into an embrace as she cried and cried into his chest. He caressed her head, hoping it would help her to stop crying.

“It’s alright, Sulli, it’s alright,” the red light began to dim into nothing. Sehun sighed in relief. “As long as I’m here, no one can say you’re evil. Not even yourself.”

 

~*~

 

Sulli felt weak. The struggle for control had drained her in every way. Her visions started to blur when she saw a group of familiar people, her friends, were rushing towards her. She was still in Sehun’s arms as he cradled her, repeating comforting phrase to ease her and shower her head with kisses. Something strangely familiar began to warm her whole being but she was too tired to recognize what it was. She felt safer than she’d ever been in his arms.

Her energy depleted completely just as she heard her name in varied pitch though all of them shared the same concerned tone. She succumbed to the dark when her eyes finally closed, relieved that nothing was obliterated and no one was hurt.

 

 

~*~

 

 

“That was close,” said Luhan.

Everything had finally calmed down after Sulli’s sudden outburst. Luna managed to cancel the soound of the alarm before it can alert anyone, with Luhan’s help of course. Sehun was still beside an unconscious Sulli, holding her tight and her head while everyone sat around them still waiting for Sulli to open her eyes.Her face was pale and she looked so frail.

Luna was crying beside Chanyeol who held her but kept his eyes on Sulli, feeling remorse. Soojung was putting her newfound ability to use, holding Sulli’s hands and project every good thought she can think of for Sulli to dream. Everyone was still in shock, to say the least. No one seemed to know what to do, not even Luhan.

Sulli’s eyes fluttered open. No one could miss the confusion, regret and terror in her eyes. However, before she could run or hide ahead of the name calling and the shunning, Soojung pulled her into an embrace and Luna followed suit. Soon, everyone was huddled up around her, comforting her erratic heart. Sulli didn’t reciprocate the display of affection no matter how badly she wanted to. She was afraid to let the same things happen twice.

So she let them squeeze her, appreciating the love and comfort emanating from every one of them. She was tearing up again at the thought of how different this second outburst was from the first. These people still accepted her even though she was evil, a true terrifying monster on the inside. Her face was soon wet just like Luna and Soojung’s who kept apologizing for something she didn’t think they were guilty of.

Sulli couldn’t resist the urge to respond to their hug so she focused on the sole thought of not hurting them and managed to give Soojung and Luna’s hands a squeeze. They hugged her tighter and the circle grew smaller.

Luhan watched as his team hugged the life out of each other, hesitating whether or not he should join them. He was just about to walk away and give them space when Sehun pulled him in and he unintentionally joined the group hug. Luhan didn’t struggle to leave though shock was evidently displayed by his eyes. He decided he’d let this happen and then never again even though the familiar warmth building inside him was comforting.

When they finally broke apart, every single one of them had tear-stained cheek, except for Luhan – Jongin denied it too but everyone can see the proof on his face. Luhan muttered something about practice being over while he considered this newfound addition to the team. Sulli was worried at first, if he meant for her to leave the group but when Luhan sent an assuring smile towards her, she relaxed instantly.

Sehun stood beside Sulli, never wavering or leaving her. He’d squeeze her hand whenever he caught the worried look in her eyes; and she was worried about almost everything now. Sulli met his eyes constantly and Sehun thought he could see something that wasn’t there before. But he might be mistaken so he didn’t assume anything.

Chanyeol did not approach Sulli as much as Sehun thought he would. He didn’t even push it to his advantage when Sulli apologized for pushing him to the ground earlier. At first, Sehun thought Chanyeol was intimidated by Sulli but he was still able to make her smile and crack weird jokes after her apology. He didn’t question Chanyeol’s actions further though the curiosity was still there.

They finally left the room in twos; Soojung and Jongin, Chanyeol and Luna, Sehun and Sulli while Luhan left alone.

 

 

 

18^thNovember. 0237 hours

 

“…right, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol barely heard what his cousin was gushing about. He’s been doing that a lot lately, tuning her out but more so after the incident. His mind was still trying to wrap around the truth about Sulli’s powers, or as Luhan told them was destruction. Intimidated by her and disappointed knowing that he cowered instead of protecting her like Sehun did, he finally accepted that he was not and will never be the one for her.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Luna sighed.

“Never mind.”

Luna wished Chanyeol would return to his normal, cheery self soon as they continued the walk to their room in unsettling silence.

 

 

 

 

Soojung was worried, Jongin realized as they entered their room. She would usually fill his head with pointless thoughts or ridiculous questions that annoyed him so much because she just wouldn’t shut up, not even in his head. Then he would have come up with an angry retort and inadvertently answered her questions which would then send them to a really pointless debate on ridiculous theories.

But this time, she kept her mind to herself and never once looked at him. Jongin should be happy that he was spared from her mental torture but he was not. Instead, he was worried and he really shouldn’t be because he didn’t like her anyways.

 And yet, it still bothered him when they were both lying awake at night in their respective beds. Soojung was vexed with something on her mind while Jongin’s concern was of her and only her.

With a heavy sigh, he got up from his bed and turned to Soojung.

“What’s bothering you?” he asked, trying to not sound in the least concerned. To his luck, Soojung did not notice that he failed as she was too wrapped in her own problems.

“What makes you think something’s bothering me?” she replied, keeping her stare on the ceiling. Jongin noticed the slight quiver in her words. She was moments away from breaking down and Jongin wondered if he was ready for the waterworks.

He kept surprising himself when he realized being the shoulder for her to cry on wasn’t a bad thing after all.

“Soojung,” he implored, his voice rich with affection he never knew could exist for her.

When her name left his lips, it triggered something inside her and the tears streamed down like waterfall. Soojung cried, mumbling incoherent words that Jongin could understand were mainly about Sulli.  It would’ve scared anyone after seeing what happened but Soojung was the first one – after Sehun who had already been there in the first place – to approach her friend and check if she was alright.

Jongin didn’t know what possessed him to take Soojung into his arms and let her wet his shirt with her tears but he decided to find out later. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this. Jongin was treading on dangerous waters getting close to her. He should’ve let them remain as they were; the girl with the silver spoon and the boy with the plastic one, too different to have their paths crossed. And yet, he couldn’t feel regret as Soojung’s cries turned to muffled sobs until finally, they were embracing over nothing.

 

 

 

 

Sulli nestled comfortably against Sehun who offered his presence when she couldn’t sleep. Sehun smiled when he heard her soft breathing, knowing she’s already fast asleep.

There were so many things he wanted to know about her past, so many things he wanted to understand. But he would never ask her until she was ready to tell him everything herself. He was able to put the pieces he picked up in its place and though it was far from complete, he was satisfied with this for now. Something terrible must’ve happened to Sulli that would cause her such an emotional distress to let her lose control of herself earlier.

Of course, Sehun didn’t know what exactly happened on that day and why it seemed hard for her to believe that they were still with here even after her episode. The look on her face when she first woke up was a terrible sight and that alone shattered his heart into millions of pieces. She looked as if it was all over for her and the hatred towards herself was painfully clear for him to see.

The very fact that she thought of herself as worthless and evil sent a stinging pain to his heart because it didn’t seem that she knew much about being loved even though she had too much of it going around.

He pulled her tighter into his arms, letting her know that he would always be beside her even when the rest of the world turned their back against her, despite knowing she was in a semi-conscious state. She wouldn’t even realize the subtle difference in distance between them. It was this very fact that made him brave enough to whisper the words ‘I love you’ in her ears more than once.

The first time he said it, he chuckled softly at the joy of finally letting it out.

The second time was done with more fervor as if he desperately needed her to hear it.

The third time… well, the third time was simply because he wouldn’t mind saying those three words to her again and again for the rest of his life even if she will never feel the same way.

It didn’t really matter how many times Sehun said it. She would never hear it anyway.

The tiny piece of sky that wasn’t hidden by the extremely tall walls outside the window showed signs of dawn coming. Sehun wished to have more chance giving his all to Sulli as his eyes closed and pulled him to sleep.

 

 

Sulli couldn’t sleep a wink despite her complete lack of energy. There were so many things running through her mind, it was impossible to even catch a breath. When Sehun offered his arms for her to sleep with, she knew she should’ve rejected the offer because it was already dangerous to be this close with Sehun, given her unstable heart.

For all she knew, the slightest mistake could destroy him. She was, after all, a destroyer. She feigned sleep so that Sehun wouldn’t have to stay awake with her because that’s just something he would do.

There were a lot of things to think about as a lot has happened in the short span of their training but she strangely forgot everything else and her mind solely focused on this wonderful boy who had been her savior time and time again.

 A lot of his actions baffled Sulli like the length he would go to protect her, even to the extent of risking his life to save hers. She made herself believe that he did it to not ruin their chances of escape and what she came so close to doing could do just that and more. It wasn’t for her and it will never be for her. However, her assumptions were proven terribly wrong when she heard the words ‘I love you’ in her ears, Sehun’s voice echoing throughout her head.

The first time he said it, she thought she’d imagine the whole thing especially when he chuckled joyously after saying those words.

The second time made it harder to believe that this was not a dream because he sounded so sincere and so close with his breath tickling her cheeks and the words more ardent this time.

She could hear the smile when he said it for the third time and Sulli realized this was reality and it’s hers. No one has ever said the word to her in all her years of living, not even her biological parents.

When light seeped through the window, indicating the night was over, Sulli was afraid to admit that she felt the same way.

 

 

 

 

 

Luhan was too busy for sleep. There were so many probabilities to calculate to enable his – their – plan to work this time. But Sulli was too much of an ambiguity to add into his already intricate equation. There was nothing mentioned in any of his books about the power to destroy; weaknesses, advantages, ways to harness it, etc. Not a single note!

They had had everything calculated, every abilities of any kind included in their equations and this single number could possibly destroy everything they had worked for. He plopped down on his bed, his arms covering his eyes, sighing in frustration.

Xiumin would know what to do…

He turned to his side, his mind was still very much glued to the matter at hand until he saw the little black book he always kept beside his bed.

Xiumin’s diary!

He quickly sat up and flipped through the contents of the book. His eyes were wide as he scanned through every word as though every word was foreign to him despite knowing every word by heart. He was just about to give up and call it a night when he reached a page that was slightly thicker than the others.

He slit the page clean easily without any scissors – his mind was sharper and more accurate than the pair of blades anyway. There was a small note, easily missed if he did not look carefully, addressed to him. He’d recognize the handwriting anywhere.

 

The note was short and brief and didn’t seem to help anyone for those who didn't know where to look. Luhan smiled with tears in his eyes when he saw the emoticon Xiumin would always leave in his notes. He let a single tear roll down his cheek but none of the rest. There were more pressing matters at hand.

It took awhile for him to figure out what Xiumin meant by looking behind him. He looked around the room, desperate for clues before realizing he almost missed the very thing that was in front of him – or rather behind him. His bed was situated directly in front of the old dresser which meant if he were to sit according to the bed’s original orientation, the dresser would be directly behind him!

He quickly rushed to the dresser and sure enough, there was another notebook taped behind the dresser with the same color as the material to camouflage it easily. Luhan flipped through the pages, noting that everything was dated long before Xiumin was admitted here. It was filled with his earlier research but through the aspects of history and Greek mythology, a stark contrast to what he had taught him of their abilities through science and theorems.

He scanned the page for anything that might relate to his problem until his eyes stopped on one particular quote:

 

 

 

 

Chaos…

He let the word linger a little bit longer as his gears started to turn before continuing to read the accompanied notes on almighty powers and its pre-eminence.  Luhan smiled as he was one step closer to finding the solution to this elaborate problem.