Story name: Memory In The Rain
Story link: click

Author: GreenGardenPop

Reviewer: hottest7684

 ✎Title: ( 4/5) 
At first glance, I do like your title. It isn’t something seen often on aff, so kudos to that. I did dock off one mark, because I probably wouldn’t click if I was scanning through fics randomly.

 ✎Characters and Characterization: ( 9/10)
So because this was a oneshot, there wasn’t much room for development or anything, however, I really enjoyed the way you depicted Myungsoo in the story, and Jiyeon in the flashback, so great job on that.
I just wish there was a little bit more description on Jiyeon, so that’s why you got a 9.
Sorry~

 ✎Description and Foreword: (15/15)
Now, some people may say otherwise, but I like your description and foreword. The description had the short little quote or phrase, whatever you want to call it. And I liked it.
When I read your foreword, I felt intrigued. I’m not entirely sure why, but I liked it.

I see no reason to dock you marks.

 ✎Appearance: (15/15)
The font you used fit with the theme of your oneshot, and it was all easy to read. So no reason to lose marks here.
 

 ✎Originality: (8/10)
Let me explain.
The idea of person missing their lost/dead lover is seen a little bit here on the site, but I like your twist on it.
 

✎Flow: (8/10)
With it being a oneshot, it’s kind of hard to mark the flow of events, but I don’t think your one shot was rushed at all or anything. Maybe if you put a little bit of spacing between the flashback and the current time, (is that even part of the flow?) that would’ve been nice. So an 8 for you~
 

 ✎Grammar and Spelling: (25/30)
Quick little fixes;
O: My eyes roamed around the room, wondering where she was now: whether she was still alive or die
C: My eyes roamed around the room, wondering where she was now; whether she was still alive or dead

O: All I could do was just praying that God would give her miracle.
C: All I could do was just pray that god would give her a miracle.

O: I once asked her what her favorite weather was, and she answered the rain because she just loved getting wet outside.
C: I once asked her which kind of weather was her favourite, and she answered the rain because she just loved getting wet outside.
(Note; this sentence just sounded weird to me. I don’t know if my correction is any better though...)

O: …and chorused. "Yeah, we love each other and fond of each other."
C: …and chorused. "Yeah, we love each other and are fond of each other."

O: …her head. "Jaejoong, I'm sorry. I can't because I already gave my heart to someone's special.
C: …her head. "Jaejoong, I'm sorry. I can't because I already gave my heart to someone special.

O: "Just change your clothes here. I'm afraid, if you go out of my room, my parents catch you,"
C: "Just change your clothes here. I'm afraid, if you go out of my room, my parents might catch you,"

O: "Jiyeon, nothing will ever be able to hinder or even give our love pause, including our parents."
C: "Jiyeon, nothing will ever be able to hinder our love, including our parents."
(Note; ‘or even give our love pause’ doesn’t really make sense. And to me, I don’t feel it’s necessary.)

O: I know what's in your mind right now. Do you want to do that, huh?"
C: I know what's on your mind right now. Do you want to do that, huh?"

O: moving up to her ear, which made her
C: moving up to her ear, which made her moan

O: We just got married a month ago without my father approval.
C: We just got married a month ago without my father’s approval.

So I don’t think I saw any spelling errors. Just watch that you don’t switch between past and present tense, alright?
Other than that, good job!!

 ✎General Enjoyment: (4/5)
I did enjoy this oneshot!! I don’t listen to either Infinite or T-ara, (that’s the band Jiyeon is from right?) but I really did like this oneshot. So nice!!

 ✎Personal Thoughts: (Not for points)
Like I said, I enjoyed your oneshot! Keep writing please! Just double check your grammar. :)
 

Total: (88/100 points)

Thank you for requesting and being the first one!
I hope that my review helped.