Story Title: The Last Page

Story Link: Clickeu

Author: Kpopfan3

Reviewer: kittyxluvlee

Title -4/5

I actually really liked your first title 'The Last Page'. It made me intrigued. What was on the last page? What was so special about it? It also had that nice poetic feel to it with just the right touch of mystery surrounding it. 'Words to Remember' doesn't really strike any interest in me. Just...not something I would click on. Oh...you changed your title again?

Description/Foreword  -13/15

I have to applaud you for keeping everything short and simple. I loved the question you wrote in the description. It's really thought-provoking to the reader and it definitely drew me in further. It was nice of you to provide the reader with a little excerpt, but I didn't really see how the excerpt showed how the title fit in with the story. Usually try to use excerpts that draw the reader's attention that end with a cliffhanger or something of the sort. The foreword's excerpt kind of detracted from my initial excitement.

Character Development/Showcasing -14/20

I couldn't really get a grasp on the characters' personality. From what I can see, the girl is reluctant and stubborn to accept her fate. In a way, her insatiable curiosity leads to her 'death.' I do think that she should've expressed more disbelief or fear at the sudden revelation of Kai. Also, I kind of hoped that you would've incorporated more Kai into the story. He just pops up and disappears abruptly. Try to add more parts of him in like maybe elaborating on his scenes or adding Kai's POV or something.

Appearance -5/5

Yay~ Everything looked pretty much fine. I loved the neatness.

Originality/Plot -17/20

This is definitely not something cliché or common on AFF. Honestly, I've already read a couple of stories like this already, but I don't think any of them had an ending such as yours. I didn't really think that she would die in the end, so kudos to you! I loved the way you ended your chapters also. You didn't write some sappy love story either, which was definitely not what I was expecting. It was nice to read something so creative and refreshing. Although, at the end....she ends up dying right?

Flow -3/5

Everything flowed nicely. You wrote in a way that conveyed the time leaps perfectly. I did feel like the end for her was a bit too fast, seeing how that was somewhat like the main point of the story.  A little more emotion and detail maybe?

Grammar/Spelling -22/25

Your English seemed pretty good, and any of the mistakes I caught just seemed to be careless mistakes. Just make sure you read everything over before you post! Also, go a little easy on the use of commas. You don't need a comma after every phrase.

General Enjoyment/Last Comments -4/5

I definitely enjoyed the story. It was a nice, short read that didn't drag but could've used more detail and elaboration. I liked how you decided to write on a subject like death, which doesn't get enough attention on AFF. Also, you tagged it as supernatural, but I didn't really feel like the story lived up to that tag. Maybe if you elaborated more on Kai's angelic roots and the girl's ghost nature?

82/100 points

Kittyxluvlee here. Please take care of me. >.< I'll do my best.