Hyesung blinked away the blurriness in his eyes.  He found himself in a white room.  Hyesung attempted to think through the grogginess of his mind.  As he was desperately trying to grasp the situation, three familiar faces came into view.  Why were Eric and his parents in his room?  Hyesung paused for a moment to think again.  As the weariness finally left his brain, Hyesung observed his surroundings and found it obvious that he was in a hospital room.  But why?  Hyesung scrunched his face in irritation and concentration as he tried to remember.  Eric saw this and immediately became worried.

              “Are you okay Sungie?  Are you in pain?” Eric placed a hand over the younger man’s hand.

              “No, it’s just…” Hyesung decided to give up on trying to remember himself.

              “What happened?” Hyesung’s confused eyes turned towards Eric and he furrowed his brow.

              “You were in a car accident, son,” Mr. Jung stepped forward.  Hyesung’s memory was immediately jogged by his father’s response.  After grasping the situation, Hyesung began noticing the aches and pains of his body.  Hyesung groaned again.

              “I’ll get a doctor,” Eric stated firmly after seeing Hyesung in pain.  Hyesung didn’t even try to stop his leader as he himself wanted relief from the pain.  Hyesung’s mother gently her son’s face.  Hyesung looked into his mother’s eyes with slight panic.  Hyesung was without a doubt, very scared at the moment.  He had never been involved in a serious accident before.  As it was his nature, Hyesung couldn’t help but recall all the articles and news reports he had seen at the moment and began to panic.  Mrs. Jung continued to and pat her son in an attempt to comfort him.  Eric returned with Hyesung’s doctor, a tall handsome man in his late forties.

              “Hello Pil Kyo-ssi,” The man greeted with a pleasant smile that Hyesung failed to return.

              “I’m glad to see that you’re awake,” The doctor continued and began scribbling on a clipboard.

              “I know you just woke up and are probably feeling some discomfort, but I need to run a few tests,” The doctor smiled apologetically at Hyesung.  Hyesung gave a slight nod indicating that it was okay.  The doctor put down his clipboard and pen and sat down on the side of the hospital bed.  He began running basic tests like checking Hyesung’s pulse and cuts and bruises.  Hyesung let his mind wander as the tests were taking place in an attempt to block out the pain he had been feeling since he woke up.  The doctor then sat back and looked at Hyesung seriously, snapping the patient’s attention back to him.

              “I know that you are not fully aware of the situation right now,” The doctor paused and glanced at Hyesung’s parents and Eric.  They all noticeably stiffened and Hyesung became wary.

              “The next series of tests I’m going to conduct will scare you, but I cannot fully explain the situation to you until they are completed.  Can I trust that you will not panic and will stay calm?” Hyesung nodded half scared, half curious.  The doctor nodded his head too and gave Hyesung a reassuring smile.

              “Now then,” the doctor lifted Hyesung’s blanket and revealed the thin man’s bandaged body.  Hyesung was temporarily disgusted to find himself clad in the pajama-like patient attire and horrified to see all the bandages and bruises that covered his arms and legs.

              “Could you please move your right leg for me?” The doctor started looking at Hyesung’s legs with concentration.  There was a deaf silence in the room as everyone held their breath.  Hyesung was confused by the sudden change in atmosphere, but complied with the doctor anyway…or at least he tried to.  Hyesung tried to lift his leg, but found that he couldn’t.  Okay…  He paused and decided to try again, with no success.  Hyesung furrowed his brow in intense concentration and tried again and again.  Then Hyesung tried to move his left leg, finding the same results.  The doctor had been observing Hyesung’s face for a while and sighed.

              “Just as I feared,” Hyesung looked up at the man scared and confused.

              “Doctor…What…Why…” Hyesung didn’t know what to say.  Mrs. Jung slumped into her husband’s arms and fought against the tears that were threatening to spill over.  The doctor cleared his throat and fixed his gaze onto Hyesung.

              “You broke your spine in the accident when you were thrown from your car.  Unfortunately, the damage was too severe to repair.  You’ll…” The doctor looked sadly at the singer as he struggled to break the news.  By this time, Mr. Jung was hugging Mrs. Jung as she cried silently into his chest.  Eric was to the side looking blankly at Hyesung, his face showing no emotion.

              “You’ll probably be paralyzed for the rest of your life,” The doctor managed to finish.  Everyone was silent as Hyesung stared at the doctor in shock.  Paralyzed?  Did he just say paralyzed?  It can’t be, no way!  Hyesung’s mind was a mess as he tried to digest what he had just heard.  This can’t be happening.  Why?

              “I’ll give you some time,” The doctor bowed to the other people in the room and then walked out the door.  Hyesung was staring at his legs with wide eyes.  Eric’s expression changed into a pained one and he quickly covered the vocalist’s legs with the sheet so that they disappeared from view.  Hyesung continued to stare.  Mrs. Jung began to sob loudly and Eric snapped his attention to Hyesung’s parents.  Mr. Jung stared at Eric and nodded his head towards Hyesung before escorting his wife outside.  Eric returned his attention to his friend who had his head bowed.

              “Hyesung…” Eric began and gripped the younger man’s chin.  Eric lifted Hyesung’s head and was about to continue but was unable to after seeing the singer’s face.  Hyesung was still staring blankly as silent tears streamed down his cheeks.  Eric bit his lip as tears began to form in his own eyes.  He reached out a hand and gently wiped away the tears from Hyesung’s cheek.  Instead of pulling away, Eric left his hand to linger on Hyesung’s face.  After a while, Hyesung shifted his sad eyes towards Eric.  Eric felt his heart break into a million pieces.  Hyesung’s eyes were full of desperation, sadness, and panic.  It seemed that Hyesung was asking Eric, What should I do?  Eric hugged Hyesung tightly, but gently.  His own tears began to spill over.  The lithe body held in his arms began to tremble slightly and Eric gripped it tighter.  Eric wished so desperately that he could take away Hyesung’s pain, that none of this was real.  Eric wished that it were he lying in the hospital bed instead of his friend.  But Eric knew that wishing was useless, Eric knew, but still continued to wish.

              Eric and Hyesung stayed that way for a long time.  Eventually Hyesung’s trembling ceased and the younger man finally moved.  Hyesung gently placed a hand on Eric’s should and the leader pulled back.

              “Eric,” Hyesung’s voice scratched.

              “Thank you,” He ended and looked down as his cheeks started to blush.  Eric cracked a small smile as Hyesung began acting more like himself.  Eric looked away as well in slight embarrassment.

              “Oh yeah,” Eric exclaimed after remembering something.  He looked at Hyesung.

              “Do you mind if I call the guys?” He furrowed his brow asking permission.  Hyesung hesitated, trying to decide.  Eric saw this and explained.

              “As soon as they heard about the accident, they all came rushing over.  I made them leave.  They’re probably still worried,” Eric waited as Hyesung continued to contemplate.  The younger man sighed and nodded.  Eric patted him on the shoulder and then pulled out his phone.

              “Wait!” Hyesung placed his hand over Eric’s to stop him.  Hyesung bit his lip and Eric realized that Hyesung was barely managing to act normal at the moment with everything going on.

              “Do they know…about…” Hyesung struggled to say it himself out loud, but Eric understood.

              “They know about your…condition,” Eric gripped Hyesung’s hand between both his own.  Hyesung nodded slightly but continued to bite his lip in worry.  Eric released Hyesung’s hand and continued to call Minwoo from his phone.  The phone didn’t even ring once before it was answered.

              “Hello?” Minwoo answered anxiously on the other line.

              “Minwoo,” Eric attempted to make his voice as calm as possible.

              “Hyesung’s awake now,” Eric glanced up at Hyesung who was giving his undivided attention to the conversation.  Eric broke eye contact and looked outside the window at the sun in the sky.  It must have been at least nine in the morning.

              “Minwoo, tell me you at least slept a bit,” Eric said in exasperation.

              “Sorry Eric, none of us could.  We all stayed over at Dongwan’s,” Eric sighed in frustration.

              “So…how is he?” Minwoo was hesitant.

              “Does he…know?” The dancer continued.  Eric nodded unconsciously and then realized that Minwoo wouldn’t have seen the action.

              “Yea,” Eric grunted and the other man was silent.

              “So can we…come over?” Eric could hear the slight buzz of other voices now on the other end.  Eric glanced up at Hyesung again.

              “Just a second,” he placed his hand over the mouthpiece.

              “They’re asking if they can come over,” Eric was worried whether Hyesung could handle contact with the members so soon after hearing such life changing news.  Hyesung hesitated before answering.  Eric could tell that the main vocalist was trying so hard to keep his feelings in check.

              “Really Hyesung, don’t force yourself,” Eric looked gently into Hyesung’s eyes.  The other man looked back into Eric’s eyes with desperation.

              “I can’t just do nothing, though!" Hyesung began yelling, his eyes wide as he tried to justify himself.

              "This won’t change anything!  I won’t let it!” Hyesung exploded and gripped the sheets.  Eric was slightly taken aback by his sudden outburst, but was glad that Hyesung wasn’t pretending that he was okay anymore.

              “Hyesung, I understand.  I get it.  And we will all help you.  We are Shinhwa.  And we’ll always be Shinhwa.  No matter what,” Eric knew what he was saying was true.  It was no secret that all the members loved each other.  They had been together for nearly fifteen years.  Nothing would change their friendship.  Eric was sure of that.  Hyesung had begun crying again, but fiercely wiped away his tears after Eric’s speech.

              “You’re right,” he sniffed.  And Eric momentarily forgot his conversation with Minwoo.

              “I want to see them,” Hyesung stared at Eric, eyes burning with determination.  Eric was surprised.

              “Are you sure?  You don’t-“

              “Positive,” Hyesung reached for the phone in Eric’s hand, but Eric pulled it out of reach.  Hyesung sighed and faced his stubborn leader.

              “I won’t pretend anymore.  If I’m sad, I’ll be sad.  If I hurt, I’ll tell you.  I promise,” Hyesung gave Eric a small smile, which Eric returned after a moment of hesitation.  He was still worried about Hyesung, but knew that the little guy's inner strength should not be underestimated.  Eric felt how determined Hyesung was and decided to give in.

              “Got it,” Eric put the phone against his ear again.

              “Minwoo?”

              “Eric?  What the hell!  Did something happen?” The dancer panicked on the other end.

              “No, I was just talking to Hyesung.  He said he would like to see you guys,” Eric grinned.

              “Geez!  Finally!  We’re on our way!” The voices in the background grew louder before Minwoo hung up.

              “They’re coming now,” Eric reported the news to Hyesung.  Hyesung immediately started looking nervous.  Eric gripped Hyesung’s hands and squeezed them reassuringly causing the younger man to blush and try to pull away, but Eric just gripped his hands tighter.  Hyesung waited in anticipation for his best friends, trying to ignore the warm feeling he felt with his hands in Eric’s.