Hello! This is an ashamed Lexie speaking to you right now! I want to say that I am soooo sorry I haven’t updated in a looong time but I had to prepare for my final exams! Sorry again! OMG it was so hard to stay away from the computer but I had to take good grades! Sorry again! I also want to say that I was very happy that neither of my subscribers unsubscribed! Thanks a bunch! Ok now let’s get to the story you’ve all kindly been waiting for! I decided to make it a little bit longer so I added a twist! Ok please play the songs when the songs will appear just to add that concert effect! Special shout out to my loyal subscribers! I hope I didn’t let you down!

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Once I made sure that umma, appa and Juliette are safe and sound, I had to leave to get ready for my concert. On the way to the exit I felt a hand that spun me around. It was Minho, my only true friend I know.

“Mi-ah… are you sure you want to do this?” He asked me with almost teary eyes.

“Yes I am sure of it.” I carelessly replied.

“But they will suffer Mi-ah. They will be heartbroke…”

“How could you still think about them? When they obviously didn’t even cared about how would we fell? You know oppa? If you don’t want to do it just tell me and I will break up with you in this very moment.” I cut him off. Did I forget to tell you that I and Minho oppa are dating for 4 months? Oh maybe it just slipped. But that is just our plan for revenge I could say. I don’t fell anything for him, only friendship. And he does the same.

“You are right… Let’s announce it tonight.” He said after a while.

“Ok. See you tonight oppa!” I smiled as I exited from the hospital.

I felt like tears were emerging. I always loved him, and I still do, it’s just that I couldn’t get over what he did. How could I be so stupid? He stole my first kiss, the place of my first boyfriend, my first …LOVE. I wander why God gave us this thing. Is it to make us suffer? Is it to punish us? Why does it have to be so painful? Did I do something wrong?

As the first tear left my eye, I also felt the first drops of rain that were falling onto my skin. I continued walking on this lonely street bumping into people that were trying to get into a shelter. Why are they so afraid? The rain only washes the pain of the past, so I always loved it. My first love is my most painful one. Will I be able to love again?

I let my feet walk wherever they wanted to but it only brought me back to the place where he confessed to me. Where we were shooting the mini drama. It was near the Han River. It seemed so peaceful there but still really painful to be there. Nee Taemin-ah, do you still remember the first promise that we made together? That on our third anniversary to come here again?  You probably don’t, but that’s ok. I will always remember you, I will always cherish the moments that we had together, I will always cherish the love that you gave me, even if it was a tiny bit, I will always think of you every single day of my life because of my stupid heart. It is because I loved you and I still do with every beat of my heart. But it only seems to grow more once we are apart. Will I ever come back to go to that smiling, happy Eun Mi? Will I ever come back to the time where I was your Juliette? These bittersweet memories came back to me, slowly. I should be leaving probably because my rehearsal for the concert already begun. But before I leave this place I am praying to you god. Please don’t let my love go to waste! Please let me go back to that time, to be with you once again, to kiss you and hold you and gently whisper in your ear that I love you. I really wish that you will have a happy life, find the one that you really love, have children and grow old with them by your side. I remember that you said that only I could be by your side but I can’t help but thinking that you were lying. But my Taemin, I’m not angry with you at all. I’m sorry if I was a bad girlfriend, I’m sorry that I couldn’t make you happy, I’m sorry if I ever made you suffer and I want to say that I am not sorry that I loved you. Those moments were the happiest in my whole entire life. I thank you once again. My love, I’m letting you go even if it hurts and I forgive you and unnie for what you did. So this is what a goodbye means. I never really knew it, but I probably imagined like a time like this would come. I always loved the rain, mostly because if you are in the rain no one knows that you are crying. I heard some slow footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw my one and only Lee Taemin. He was slowly approaching me. He kneeled down facing me because I was standing on my knees on the wet grass. He slowly wiped away my tears and pulled me close to him into a tight but still gentle embrace.

“Juliette, mianheyo. Chincha sarangheyo!” he said with a trembling voice.

After that we stayed in the rain like two fools. His arms were still around me, protecting me from the cold but refreshing rain. God, if this is a dream please let me never wake up. But in the end he let go. I was sobbing more then ever.

“Juliette, I know you are dating Minho hyung, and I will not try to change your decision but I beg you to come to the concert that we are holding tomorrow. Wait for my solo. Please! Then if you would like, you could never look at me in your entire life. But just as I sing, let your eyes only watch me for a few minutes, like you did when we were together. Please!” he said while tears were rolling down his cheeks.

I slowly nodded. He smiled, but it wasn’t his happy bright smile. It was a sad smile. I want to kiss him right now but I didn’t. You may think I’m stupid but I couldn’t move. He slowly got up and turned around to leave. As I was extending my arm to grab him I pulled away. It was not fair if I did that. So I watched him leave with tears overflowing. After his silhouette couldn’t be seen I got up too and walked back to the rehearsal.

~The concert night~

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen! I know you are waiting Eun Mi’s comeback for so long so I won’t hold her back anymore. Please give her a round of applause! When first love ends!” the MC announced me.

I am really nervous! It’s like I was going on stage for the first time! I could hear my fans screaming and chanting my name. I can’t help but fell so grateful that god gave me this chance, but I would give it all away for my one and true love that I lost.

The music started I am slowly walking out in the light. Please give me all your courage to sing for my fans. I’m starting.

~Miku Hatsune- When first love ends~

The first kiss that tasted like those salty tears.
Love from those dramas isn’t real,
As if waiting for the right moment, the departure bell rang.

A winter wind brushes my tears drenched cheek.
My hands feel so cold, but I try to warm them up.
The city is full of beautiful lights, magically casted.
The boulevard was empty and the trees sparkled so bright.

I just couldn’t take it.
The pain was far too big for me alone.
This is what I’ve been deciding but why do I feel like this?
It’s alright, I won’t look back so...

Thank you, goodbye.
My bittersweet destroyed love
If I stop moving now, I might remember our past, so...
Thank you, goodbye.
I won’t cry anymore so
You will become a memory
Like this snow that slowly disappeared.

I walk to the train station,
A couple is coming my way so happy and so cheerful .
“Hey, it’s the first snow of the season!”
I remember when I was like that with you
Today I would’ve given you,
A hand knitted muffler.
How could I give it to you?
I can’t, because now you have her.
If this will become memories, I don’t want to remember it!
Is that even true, I wander?

Thank you, goodbye.
I knew a time like this would come.

But I didn’t really prepared for that
Thank you, goodbye.
My body is trembling.
As I am waiting for the train to come I begin to cry.

I wanted us together.
How much did I want that?
My hand is empty and so cold.
Hey, this is what a goodbye means?

I have to go.
I really, really know that.

I also know that what we had been special so,
Please, let this hand go.
I am really happy that we met,
I truly love you.

Thank you, goodbye.
I can’t say a single word.
God just for a moment, give me the courage to speak.
“Hey...”
The lips that were about to speak...
The distance to you now was zero.
Can I cry, just for a little bit?
No words are enough because I know I have to let go.

By this time next year,
I wonder what I will be like...
What you will be like...

By the time I finished the song, me and him were already crying along with the fans. He seemed like he knew what he did and that I suffered a lot. I felt peaceful.

“Annyong haseyo! Eun Mi imnida!!” I managed to speak and greet my fans.

“I am really happy that all of you came here even if it is a cold day of November! I am really happy that you supported me trough all the hardships this year! I am the most grateful person on earth because I have the most amazing fans! Kansamnida!”

When I finished my thanking the crowd started singing happy birthday for me. I was so touched that I teared up more.

“Thank you guys! I am happy to spend my birthday with you! Now let’s get to another song, shall we?” I said as I prepared to sing

~Olivia Lufkin- A little pain~

 Travel to the moon
You're asleep, as you work out your dreams
There's no one here
While the light of the stars toys with me

In order to become strong
I have to remember how to smile
If we're together, I can do it

* Realize that...
I'm here waiting for you
Even if the future is different from now
I'm here waiting for you
I keep on shouting
I'm sure all I have to do
Is pull in the thread that connects our hearts
So the person I was back then
Would open her eyes
No need to cry

Travel in silence
I can reach you if I stretch out my hands
The only memory I have of you
Is so far away

I can hear your voice
If I close my eyes
Even a little pain
Would be nice

Look at me
I'm here waiting for you
Even if you get lost, blown away by the wind
I'm here waiting for you
I look up at the sky
I was protecting my heart
With outstretched hands
Until the person you were back then
Looked back
No need to cry

(Feel something, feel nothing
Listen closely, listen closely)
Wide open ears
Disarm the dream tickler
In the constant moment
(You will find me where it's quiet
Listen closely, listen closely)
Let the blood flow
Through all the spaces
Of the universe

Realize that...
I'm here waiting for you
Even if the future is different from now
I'm here waiting for you
I keep on shouting
I'm sure all I have to do
Is pull in the thread that connects our hearts
So the person I was back then
Would open her eyes
No need to cry

As I finished singing I heard the crowd cheering and also sniffling and I chuckled a bit. I glanced to him and I saw a really pained look on his face. How I wished I could change it into a happy smile! But he chose it whit his own hands. He could’ve been faithful, and now we would be celebrating my birthday with our friends. But that was his fate and my faith. I continued to the next song that reveals my childish whishes that can never be fulfilled.

~Melody- Love story~

Through the flood of crowded people
I keep looking at his silhouette
It was possible to play around with fate, to embrace you closely would be a miracle
It may be painful, it might hurt
Now we can only believe

Though struggles are depicted in this love story,
And tomorrow spells out invisibly
I won't hesitate to be with you,
I won't be lonely anymore

Your voice remains in my ear
I remember your shape in my closed eyelids
I'm tired of feeling the pain you gave
Your smile and gentle words echo in my heart
I want to forget this

Though struggles are depicted in this love story,
You can finish without starting again
If our hearts stay locked
We won't realize our love

Once you reveal your feelings
I won't need anything else
Honestly, I cried like a child
While wide awake in your hands

Though struggles are depicted in this love story,
It makes me want to hear to your voice again
I won't hesitate to reach for you even if you're far away

………
And tomorrow spells out invisibly
I won't hesitate to be with you,
If someday the two of us, could honestly be together happily
I'll hold onto you tightly

I think that he realized that I was talking about him because he had a small smile on his face. But it wasn’t a happy one but a sad smile. I was really pained to see him like that but I couldn’t do anything to help him.

“Guys this will be the last song tonight! Let’s make it a great moment!” I yelled as the crowd continued to cheer. I looked at him and winked. I was trying to make him feel better. I started.

~Rihanna- P.S: I’m still not over you~

What‘s up?
I know we haven't spoken for a while
But I was thinkin’ bout you
And it kinda made me smile
So many things to say
And I'll put em’ in a letter
Thought it might be easier
The words might come out better
How's your mother, how's your little brother?
Does he still look just like you?
So many things I wanna’ know the answers to
Wish I could press rewind
And rewrite every line
To the story of me and you 

Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin’ to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you

Excuse me, I really didn't mean to ramble on
But there's a lot of feelings that remain since you've been gone
I guess you thought that I would put it all behind me
But it seems there's always somethin’ right there to remind me
Like a silly joke, or somethin’ on the t.v.
Boy it ain’t easy
When I hear our song
I get that same old feeling
Wish I could press rewind
Turn back the hands of time
And I shouldn't be telling you 

Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin’ to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you

Did you know I kept all of your pictures
Don't have the strength to part with them yet
Oh no....
Tried to erase the way your kisses taste
But some things a girl can never forget  

Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin’ to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you 

“And now the only single thing that I have to announce. Me and Minho oppa from SHINee are dating!” My heart just sinked again as I saw his face in the crowd. Minho oppa came out from backstage whit a big bouquet of blue roses and my eyes began to water. Oppa bought me a bouquet of blue roses for our first anniversary. I got off the stage and saw him holding a single blue rose. Minho was certainly angry.

“Happy birthday, Juliette! I wish you the best!” he said with a fake smile.

“Thank you, oppa! I’m sorry, I have to go! See you tomorrow!” I whispered the last part.

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I was crying trough the whole chapter! I hope it wasn’t too boring or disappointing. The next chapter will come tomorrow morning! Ohhh we are approaching the end!

Love, Lexie