♡ 「SHINeeSuju4ever」 ┋ Living with My Clumsy Brother aka The Leader of SHINee

「ordinaryreviews」┋open; hiring! ツ FAQ on chapter 16, info on chapter 17!

                   SHINeeSuju4ver; Living with my Clumbsy brother aka The Leader Of  SHINee

  • Title [4/5]:
  • I really did like the title. It obviously goes well with the story. It's cute and it will make people wonder how the story will unfold. The only reason why I docked you a mark was because of the 'aka The Leader of SHINee.' Although you are explaining who you are writing about, it really takes away the 'guessing' process. The readers don’t know which member you are talking about until the character description. It doesn't create curiosity and readers might skip over it. But like I said, it is cute and I do like it.

 

  • Foreword/Description [9/10]:
  • I really did like the foreword as well as the description. Pretty well written. I did however dock you a mark because of a couple of grammar mistakes that really distracting because they were somewhat confusing.
  • Lee Soo Jin didn’t know that she has another brother besides Jung Su. What would be her reaction if she knows that her other brother is a member of her favorite kpop boy band? What will happen to her life when she goes to live with her brother and the other members?

 

  • Appearance [3/5]:
  • I didn’t really care for the poster. I did like the fact that SHINee seemed to looking at her. I thought that was cute. The girl’s picture isn’t really HD and it looks like you cut SHINee’s picture out of another picture and posted there. The girl’s picture isn’t bad; it just isn’t HD and isn’t really cut out well... I don’t care for the background of the picture either... I can’t really say anything about the background because I can’t see it. But again it seems like the picture isn’t HD either. I did however like the character chart. I personally suggest going to a graphic shop.

 

  • Plot [13/15]:
  • The plot is good. I don’t see anything really wrong with it. It is really funny and cute. I really liked it. It isn't as eventful as I thought it would be. The setting of the story is mostly at the dorm and school. This to me is kind of boring. I also noticed that you don’t tell the date (Friday, Monday, etc) and that is confusing. I mean she goes to school for two days and then goes shopping the next? But your story is still on-going so I do hope you will add more events in the future.

 

  • Originality [10/15]:
  • I don’t think I really have to explain this. It is not an original plot at all. I have seen many, many stories like this one. Not just about SHINee but other kpop groups as well. So that really lost points.

 

  • Spelling/Grammar [11/20]:
  • I didn't want to be to so hard on you since you did say that English isn't your first language but it was pretty bad. Most of your spelling was correct, couple of mistakes here and there. But it was the grammar that caused it to be confusing. There are a lot of mistakes where you put a ‘.’ (period) instead of a ‘,’ (comma). Overall it was pretty bad...

 

  • Flow [8/10]:
  • The flow of the story was pretty good. It wasn't great but ok.

 

  • Characters [9/10]:
  • I was trying really hard not to be biased because I love Onew but I did really like the characters. You portrayed the members of SHINee well. And I could totally see Onew being overprotective of his siblings, if he had any.

 

  • Overall Enjoyment [8/10]:
  • I did enjoy the story altogether. The grammar was definitely something that took me away from enjoyment. Although it did have me laughing at one point, it was still a bit boring but you aren't finished so please do continue~ :)

 

  • Score: 74/100
  • Marking Scores Grading Sheet:
  • 91 and above - A*
  • 85-90 - A+
  • 75-84 - A
  • 74-69 - B+
  • 68-63 - B
  • 62-60 - B-
  • 59-54 - C+
  • 54-50 - C
  • 50-40 - D
  • 40-1 - U graded,

You scored 74%! You got a B+. Nice job!:)

reviewed by NicolesKittyCoke; ordinary review shop

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  • Hope you would request again!~^^

Love, Hana (kris-wifey)

 

Admin's Notes :

Hello SHINeeSuju4ever! Thank you for requesting!~^^ We hope you like the review!:)

Do request again, we will be looking forward to review you again!(:

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
--cupcake-nana
Hello. Nana here. I will be hiatus for 2 weeks because of I am currently working on my designs not reviews. So I am sorry to say, you can't request from me. [:

Comments

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--yeseuri
#1
Hi! ^^;; Applying as a reviewer~
Username : sohappilyalone26
Your name : Anica♥
Strictness : 9/10
Genre you can't review on : ; any stories with girlxgirl and/or boyxboy...SORRY! It grosses me out...:/
Bias Icon : http://www.iheartfx.com/forums/uploads/av-5343.jpg?_r=0
Reviewer you want to be : Story Reviewer please :)
Angel-of-the-Seas
#2
Username : Angel-of-the-Seas

Your name : Sharon

Strictness : [Out of 10. eg. 7/10] 7/10

Genre you can't review on : [Eg. //Yuri/'You'/any genre] , , yuri, 'you'

Bias Icon : [Please LINK it. Size : 100x100. No more than that.] http://24.media.tumblr.com/ead4fef0ad31cd7f4550cb48adc98bda/tumblr_mhg4ygYrTT1qzgbhso6_250.gif

Reviewer you want to be : [Example, Story reviewer. If you would like to be both, that would be great.]
Story reviewer
TheBeautyOfWords
#3
Username : RogueVisions

Your name : Rynn

Strictness : 9/10

Genre you can't review on : //Yuri/

Bias Icon : http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/32700000/-Lay-Exo-M-ieva-32723934-100-100.png

Reviewer you want to be : Story Reviewr :)
milk-honey
#4
Username : Fashionista-Gurl

Your name : Chanel Jean

Strictness : 9/10

Genre you can't review on : , , Yuri

Bias Icon : http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7sgygxLjA1rah4ido3_100.jpg

Reviewer you want to be : [Story Reviewer]
eundere
#5
Chapter 15: Hello. I'm here to tell you that you didn't read my fanfic properly.
You've made many mistake in your review and I'm not happy with that.
Can I ask for another reviewer to review it again?
PLEASE READ IT ON COMPUTER;Google Chrome,Firefox or whatever.
Please at least look at my beautiful layout because I have something that look better than '----' when I skip the scene,ok?
And for the misspelling and Grammar; I'm hundred percent sure that I spell those words above correctly even my Grammar isn't perfect. Microsoft Word spelling check rechecked it for me before I post it though.
I'm really disappointed with the reviewer. Thank you.
babyshawol96
#6
Chapter 2: Author/Your username : babyshawol96

Story title & link : The Sound of Rain

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/372453

Characters : Yongguk, OC

Genre : Romance

Status : just started ^^

Password : Ordinary is me

Reviewer :iluvboyfriend or kris-wifey ^^

Anything else? : if you see something wrong please show an example, it helps me understand! thank you~
PastelClover
#7
Chapter 1: Author/Your username : PastelClover

Story title & link : My Life with This Death Note Guy

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/315912/my-life-with-this-death-note-guy-dbsk-infinite-myungsoo-schoollife-suzy-tvxq-yunho

Characters : Myungsoo , OC

Genre : Romcom

Status : on-going

Password : Ordinary is me

Reviewer : cupcake-nana

Anything else? : thanks a lott <3
StrawberryBallerina
#8
Author/Your username : StrawberryBallerina

Story title & link : EXO's Anti-fan

Characters : Kris, You [OC]

Genre : Romance, Comedy

Status : on-going

Password : Ordinary is me

Reviewer : kris-wifey

Anything else? : thanks.
StrawberryBallerina
#9
Chapter 14: Thanks for the review!