GreenALiveTnS; I'll Be

• Title [3/5] :
• The title gives me an image of Baekhyun will be Jiyeon's. Like Jiyeon lost her boyfriend or heartbroken, but it turns out to be something that isn't fit the story? Maybe you should try to make up another title like, 'The Song in My Heart" I know it sounds weird but try to think of something that fits the story.

• Foreword/Description [7/10] :
• It would be great if you add the puncuations in the Description to make it easy to understand, now, your grammar in the Foreword is without lots of puncuations. Reading like this, will make the reader whose reading it could not stop for a moment to take a breath. That's breathless. So, please add up the commas,
• Before :
• Ever since the first
  I was immediately charmed
  By your beautiful music
  It made me feel truly pleased
  When I listened to your music
  
  I loved you at the first sight
  You made me kneeling in your heart
  And couldn't be separated from your love
  If you were mine
  I'd take care of you until the end of my life
• After changing :
• Ever since the first,
  I was immediately charmed,
  by your beautiful music.
  It made me feel truly pleased,
  when I listened to your music.
  
  I loved you at the first sight,
  you made me kneeling in your heart.
  And couldn't be separated from your love,
  if you were only mine.
  I'd take care of you until the end of my life...

• Appearance [2/5] :
• The poster isn't a scene I thought of like how Jiyeon sings and baekhyun looked at her in the scenery of the night. The poster was dull, but the cutting went perfectly great. Jiyeon's and Bakehyun's pictures are nice. Is just that the background makes me feel dull on it.

• Plot [13/15] :
• The plot is interesting and I love it, I am bascially not a Baekhyun fan though, I am much more into Sehun or Kai or Kris or even Luhan. I doesn't really think that Baekhyun fit the position on being with Jiyeon. But nah, you like it, I will just accepted it and I support Jiyeon cause she's awesome :)

• Originality [14.5/15] :
• I never seen such a romantic story before, I love it.

• Spelling/Grammar [15/20] :
• When I seen your other reviews, I know that your grammar and spelling isn't good. You edited the story for like so many times, no wonder the grammar and spelling was great. But your foreword makes me feel that you didn't look at the puncuations or grammar just because the reviewer did not tell you. I know that english isn't your first language, so, I won't make such big nag on it.

• Flow [7/10]
• To be honest, you went a little too fast on the part when Baekhyun finally talk to Jiyeon. I was thinking that Jiyeon saw Baekhyun, not exactly how he saw her first. And I think that a oneshot shouldn't be sooo short?

• Characters [5/10] :
• I don't really know what Baekhyun is like and Jiyeon, but it would be great if you write about Jiyeon and Bakehyun character in the foreword. I know some of your reviewers says is okay, but I would give a strict advice.

• Overall Enjoyment [8/10] :
• Your story is nice and romantic, but it would be great if you write the characters. But is kinda sad Jiyeon left. Nice story though!^^

• Score [76.5/100]
• Marking Scores Grading Sheet :
• 91 and above - A*
• 85-90 - A+
• 75-84 - A
• 74-69 - B+
• 68-63 - B
• 62-60 - B-
• 59-54 - C+
• 54-50 - C
• 50-40 - D
• 40-1 - U graded

You scored 76.5/100, you got an A. :)

reviewed by --cupcake-nana; ordinary review shop

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Love, Nana (--cupcake-nana)