chibimusicstar; Bringing Back Your Smile

• Title [3/5] :
• The title does match the story on the foreword/description. But it sounds a bit weird when you put all of the letters capitalized.

• Foreword/Description [6/10] :
• Your foreword has a lot of grammar errors such as puncuation. Do remember that punctuations are very important, it helps the one whose reading (not exactly for your story.) to pause for a moment. Without a full-stop or commar, it would lead to 'Breathless'.

• I would have wrote :

I remember back then, the smile that she showed me that day.

If it weren't for her, I don't think I would go on with my life.

That summer meant something to me.

I wish I could meet her again... (correction)

The first day I met her, she was like that  flower in bloom. (correction)

After the incident happened, 

she locked her heart away behind her. (correction on capitals on 'She')

I wish I could see the girl she was before again.

Mother left me with no memories,

The memory of dad kept disturbing my mind.

I lock this feeling deep inside my heart.

I wish someone would save me from the loneliness.

The biggest correction :

Will she unlock her feeling?

Will they bring her smile back?

The answer is in the story.

Who will bring the smile back like how she was last time?

Okay, I almost changed all of the sentences. Especially, punctuations. I added that last senetnce which I finds it weird though. I don't really understands the plot so don't blame me on it. >_<

• Appearance [4/5] :
• The poster was nice, I like the way you give a sad feeling to it. And is beautiful ;________________; flawless. But I don't like Jonghyun's picture, because mainly, you can find a picture that is better than that.

• Plot [12/15] :
• It was kind of boring at first, but the story plot is interesting.

• Originality [9/15] :
• To tell the truth, I have seen lots of stories like this before.

• Spelling/Grammar [12/20] :
• Your spelling and grammar was okay, but you should checked on them everytime. :) It can be improved.

• Flow [5/10] :
• The flow went too fast.

• Overall Enjoyment [6/10] :
• It was boring to me. And I am not a wooyoung fan. Good luck in the story!^^

• Score [67/100]
• Marking Scores Grading Sheet :
• 91 and above - A*
• 85-90 - A+
• 75-84 - A
• 74-69 - B+
• 68-63 - B
• 62-60 - B-
• 59-54 - C+
• 54-50 - C
• 50-40 - D
• 40-1 - U graded

You scored 67/100, you got a B. :)

reviewed by kris-wifey; ordinary review shop

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Love, Hana (kris-wifey)