Who I loved was a guy I met at work, he was the one who was going to help me get my name known in all of Korea.

“Annyeonghaseyo Sunbaenim” “I am your new chorographer Rainie imida”

I did a 90 degree bow out of respect for my new boss. I had been in Korea for about 5 years. I had originally come to just go to university and then was going to go back home to Seattle, but I had ended up changing my mind. I decided that it would be a good idea to stay, I had made loads of new friends, started a new life and there was nothing calling me back to my birth place.

I worked as a free lance choreographer working with all the major recording labels. I had come to work with Bi Rain after he liked chorography I had done for Lee Hyori unnie. It was my first time choreographing for a male artist, especially a make artist as high profile as Bi Rain.  This was my big break my chance to make myself more well known as a choreographer.

I had expected him to be cold and dismissive, to not want to talk and to definitely not want to be friend with me. He was one of the greatest artists of this generation.

We weren’t close; I don’t think I could even call him a friend. But I was a 22 year old hopeless romantic and with knowing a few superficial facts and long dance sessions, like most of the nation I had fantasied that I had known him my whole life.

Life seemed to stand still for a while, I had worked alongside Rain for about 3 months and a couple of songs later and the relationship in my head continued to grow. Every time he smiled at me my heart skipped a beat. I don’t know when and how I fell in love with him but I knew that it was love. The logical thing to do would be to confess to him to tell him how I felt but why would he be interested in a lowly choreographer like me.

“Okay Oppa from the top” “ 1 and 2 and 3 4, hit 5 6 7 and 8”

Dance lessons became a time to joke. Even though he was very serious about his work, he always knew how to smile and have a good time.  He would flirt, and my over active imagination decided that it meant he had to like me.  I had become like a pathetic teenager again, a teenager that was in love with an older man.

Eventually I decided it would be a good idea to tell him how I felt.

“Oppa I know this probably is very sudden but I really like you” 

He let me down gently but there were times it seemed the popular guy felt a little bit more for the lowly choreographer.

Our relationship changed after he turned me down, we had a very work orientated relationship, until a job offer came to work with SNSD an offer that I just couldn’t refuse.

I decided to leave and not look back, I was young and immature and I know now that it wasn’t love more infatuation, more in love with what he was rather then who he was. I never really knew who he really was.