Love is such a funny thing, isn't it? We sometimes fall in love with bad people, sometimes with really great people. Every once in a while we get lucky and get to be with one of those great people, and every once and a while we get a little unlucky and get to be with  one of those not so great people but unfortunately, the most common occurrence is falling in love with someone truly wonderful and have your feelings not be reciprocated. Sadly, I am going through the latter right now.

Who is this great person? My very own best friend, Baek Soojin. The unlucky er? Myself, Kim Jongin. I think the worst thing about my unrequited love is that everyone around me approves of us having a more than "just friends" relationship. Soojin and I have been friends for years now, since middle school at least. 

It wasn't "love at first sight" so to speak, but there was something there. In middle school Soojin was teased a lot by the other girls for being beautiful without the aid of makeup and hair dyed beyond recognition. Majority of the guys in our year and even some above picked on Soojin as well because she turned down every single confession she got. Not because she liked someone, just because she wasn't interested in having a relationship. She had no friends at all and I hated seeing her force a smile on her face and one day I decided I would stand up for her. 

We became friends ever since I made that decision and followed through with it. The other kids left Soojin alone because picking on her stopped being fun when she had me there to back her up. I got to know Soojin more and more as the days went by and there wasn't a single day that I didn't fall for her even harder than before. 

When we got to high school, nearly everyone thought we were a couple and though I wasn't in any hurry to prove them wrong, Soojin insisted we were just friends and had no romantic feelings for each other whatsoever. If only she new, huh? Despite how much that stung, being the idiot I am I still stuck by Soojin's side without trying to rid myself of my feelings towards her.

A lot of our newly-made friends held out hope for a while that we'd end up together, but it never happened. Soojin wasn't the type of girl to waste her time fawning over guys. She focused on her schoolwork all the time so she could get into a good university and be successful, which did pay off since she remained top of the class all the way through high school.

It's not like I can confess to her either. I know Soojin better than I know anyone else in the world and I know there's no way in hell she'll react well. She doesn't do the whole relationship thing because before middle school, her parents split because her mom was cheating, and Soojin's dad is still a mess. He's a shell, just going through the motions and she doesn't want to end up as weak as her dad because "if I do, who will take care of him? There's no use putting myself out there when I know how it ends. Which is the main point anyway, it ends. Real love is dead and I don't want to bother chasing after something that'll break me." She told me one day in her room.

But I really don't need to say anything, I know Soojin knows my feelings and that's why she told me what she did that day. She wanted me to get the idea without hurting me. Even though I knew that, I used to have this deluded thought that maybe, despite how she's felt about relationships for so long, I could get her to fall for me. Which was stupid in so many ways.  There was no way I'm any different from the other guys, apart from the fact that I'm actually close to her. I'm like the brother she never had and I won't ever be anything more than that. 

Some people can live happily without getting married or anything like that, but I don't think Soojin will be one of those people. I believe that one day there will be a guy that's different than all the others, someone that will steal Soojin's heart and make her believe that being with someone you love is worth the risk of losing them at some point.

That's why I'm giving up. I don't want to burden Soojin with my feelings and I want her to find her to find that person so I've decided that I'll go back to being her best friend. That's all she's ever wanted me to be and what Soojin wants is most important to me so this is it. I decided on it this morning. 

What made my descision to give up final was the distance that's been getting between us, and how awkward Soojin and I are lately because I like her and she knows how I feel and she also knows that I know she isn't interested but being the selfish idiot I am I still made my feelings glaringly obvious. I hate being distanced from Soojin, we used to hang out every single day and now we see each other maybe once a week. Forgetting my feelings is going to be hard but our friendship is more important than a stupid crush. 

----

"Soojin! I'm over here," I called out from where I was standing outside the entrance to Lotte World. Seeing her made my heart clench instead of the usual butterflies I get whenever I'm around her but I put on my best smile and waved her over. "Oh, there you are! Sorry I'm late,  I spilled banana milk on my shirt so I had to change." She said brightly.

-Earlier-

"Yoboseyo?" Soojin answered.

"Soojin-ah, hey! Are you working today?" I asked. 

"Hi Jongin! I'm actually off today, why what's up?" The sound of her voice was leaving a lump in my throat but I swallowed hard and cleared my throat.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go to Lotte World today." 

"Lotte World? Aigoo, we haven't been there since high school!" She said, laughing.

"Exactly! Let's go, It'll be just like old times" Before I became a burden.

"You know what? That sounds like a lot of fun, let's do it!"

"Great, meet me in front of the park at around 2?"

"Okay! See you there."

"Bye, Soojin." And 'bye' to my feelings as well.

-

"Oh, Soojin.. What am I ever going to do with you?" I joked, pushing her arm lightly. She giggled and gave me a big smile. "Buying my ice cream would be good, I like ice cream." "Then ice cream is what you'll get, let's go." I said, holding out my arm and smiling down at her. She looked at me for a second, most likely realizing I was finally acting normal again, and took my arm. 

We spent the day just goofing off and having a great time, and I could feel the tension and distance completely dissapear. I went back to just being Soojin's loyal friend, and even though my heart is hurting big time, I know my giving up was the right choice. I promised Soojin I'd always be at her side, and that is a promise I intend to keep.

Author's Note

Here it is! Finally finished. I'm really sorry this took so long Margaux, this past week or so has been a lot busier for me than I originally thought it was going to be and I didn't have a lot of time to get to work on this oneshot. I really hope you like it! :) 

To my other requesters: Your oneshots should be out soon, please be patient!! It shouldn't take longer than a week now that everything has slowed down and I actually have time.