CHAPTER FIVE: HEARTBEAT

You may think that I forgot about you (oh, you may think that I)
You may thing that I am happy with someone else (forgot you)
But I still can’t forget you like this (I can’t forget)
Like a scarecrow, who stands alone even after everyone leaves
(Even if you leave me, I’m like a scarecrow)

Like a scarecrow, standing all by myself

AUTHOR’s POV

It has been a few weeks since Jiyong left and the 4 guys and the girls kept talking to Dara on how she should handle this. She’s fine now but still, her friends are worried, Dami haven’t given the letter yet to her, she called Dara to pick something up later at their house.

“I’ll accompany you to Dami unni’s house. Let’s go” Bom pulled Dara with her, even though she’s saying she’s fine, her expression and her aura tells differently. Bom waved to the others and started the engine. She drove all the way to Dara’s house and walked to the Kwon’s, Dara didn’t went with her.

“How is she?” dami asked and Bom shook her head, “Bad… I don’t know what to do, Jiyong, I understand him but, oh gosh, I didn’t know a thing, we were encouraging her that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. We shouldn’t have said those to her, we made her expect things, I feel so bad for her unni” Bom explained,

“It’s not your fault, nor Jiyong’s, but if Jiyong just told you guys about his girlfriend, everything would just be normal. Just comfort her, make her smile…” Bom nodded,

“Is Aunt Dara still crying?” Hwa Young entered the conversation by popping out behind her mother, Bom smiled and nodded sadly,

“Can I come with you unni? Please? Jiyong oppa said I should make Aunt Dara smile if she’s sad” Bom looked taken a back, she looked at Dami and the girl just nodded, Bom smiled and took the little girl’s hand and went back to Dara’s.

Hwa Young saw Dara on her bed, looking outside her window which is Jiyong’s, no tears were falling, she was just silent, Hwa Young hugged Dara from behind on the bed, Dara didn’t flinch. She felt broke, for the second time, she wanted to move on, but her heart’s constricting everything she wants to do, all the memories from the past were haunting her.

All she could do every night is cry. Sanghyun would comfort her, but there’s no use. Bom looked at her friend, Bom cried seeing Dara like that, she’s a happy and wise girl, but when it comes to Jiyong, everything just seems to vanish.

“Dara, this is for you” Bom handed her the two papers, she took it. No emotions were plastered on her face, she just looked at the paper and eventually opened it. She read it, Bom’s just on her side, reading the letter as well.

The first paper contained his message for her and the other one contains the songs he written for her.

Dara,

I’m so sorry, for the second time that I’ve hurt you. I have so many things that I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t have the time and it’s not appropriate. I lied to you, because I don’t want you to get hurt. It hurts me to see you cry, please smile, for me. I need you to smile, I want you to move and be happy.

I know, I said I love you the last time and I’m going to say it again, I love you Dara, but it won’t work. I left someone behind in Paris, and she deserves to be happy. She didn’t judge me everytime I tell her stories about you, she would be there for me. She loved me for being me and for being the stupid me because I can’t move on.

I’m so sorry Dara, I don’t know what to say to you, but sorry. I know you won’t forgive me, but I hope someday, you’ll do. You’ll always be my best friend and my first love Dara, nothing would change. The only thing is that, I have someone to take care of for now. I have to go, because I want to clear up my mind and I want to be sure of the things I want. I’m a mess right now Dara, and I don’t want to hurt you, I’m so sorry.

Please read the other letter, it’s for you…

                                                                                                                                                Jiyong

Hey, so yeah, ummm… Dara, this is for you, I hope you will like it.

We both know that I shouldn't be here 
This is wrong 
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you 
Both of us trying to be strong 


I've got somewhere else to be 
Promises to keep 
Someone else who loves me 
And trusts me fast asleep 


I've made up my mind 
There is no turning back 
She's been good to me 
And she deserves better than that 


It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do 
To look you in the eye 
And tell you I don't love you 
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie 
To show no emotion when you start to cry 


I can't let you see what you mean to me 
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free 
We're not meant to be 


It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do 
To turn around and walk away 
Pretending I don't love you 


I know that we'll meet again 
Fate has a place and time 
So you can get on with your life 
I've got to be cruel to be kind 


Like Dr. Zhivago 
All my love I'll be sending 
And you will never know cuz 
There can be no happy ending 


It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do 
To look you in the eye 
And tell you I don't love you 
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie 
To show no emotion when you start to cry 


Maybe another time, another day 
As much as I want to, I can't stay 

(Ooh) 

I've made up my mind 
There is no turning back 
She's been good to me 
And she deserves better than that 


It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do 
To look you in the eye 
And tell you I don't love you 
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie 
To show no emotion when you start to cry 


I don't want to live a lie 
What can I do?

II.

All I am, all I'll be
Everything in this world
All that I'll ever need
Is in your eyes
Shining at me
When you smile I can feel
All my passion unfolding
Your hand brushes mine
And a thousand sensations
Seduce me 'cause I
 

I do cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do

In my world, before you
I lived outside my emotions
Didn't know where I was going
'Till that day I found you
How you opened my life
To a new paradise
In a world torn by change
Still with all my heart
'Till my dying day

I do cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do

Bom cried when she saw the letter and when she saw her bestfriend, tears were all over her face, she couldn’t help but hug Dara and cradle her in her arms.

“He still cares Bom, he does, but what is he doing?” Dara cried, Bom cradled Dara like a baby, stopping her from crying, Hwa Young on the other hand, cried as well. She hugged Dara while lying on the bed,

“Aunt Dara, please stop crying…I’ll scold Jiyong oppa and tell him to come back here at once”

“I’m fine now Hwa Young-ah, thank you… I trust Uncle Jiyong alright?” Hwa Young nodded and hugged Dara again, she does really love Dara. She felt that Jiyong loves her Dara unni, she’s still a kid, but she sees it from her mom and dad, even they’re far away from each other, they still call each other and her mom smiles happily everytime her Dad calls.

“Don’t worry Aunt Dara, Jiyong oppa will come back, I’m sure of it. He misses you” That made Dara smile, this girl sure knows how to make her smile.

“Thank you Hwa Young-ah” Bom smiled at the little girl and the latter hugged Dara.

------------------------- 

A week after, Dara was a little okay now, she and Minzy were busy finishing their school project that will be presented at the school’s festival on Friday and Saturday, their works are all going to be exhibited.

On the other hand, Jiyong wrote a letter to Dara saying all things that he’s doing and saying sorry again and again. Dara didn’t write back, well, what is she going to say to him? Tell him that she loves him and he needs to come back? She’s not a greedy person, she wants Jiyong to be happy, and so she let go, but even though she did, there’s still hope inside her heart, waiting for that moment he’ll come back.

DARA’s POV

Walking in the hallway with Minzy, carrying our canvas with the painting, both of us were nervous, especially me. We will explain our painting later, it’ll be exhibited inside the gym. We entered and look shocked when we saw the gym, it didn’t look like one, but it looked more pleasing and good for the exhibits.

“Well, Miss Park and Miss Gong, are you ready?” our professor asked and we nodded, I took the cover of my canvass and placed it on the chair and they were examining it. Now my nerves are cracking and I am severely nervous right now.

Our Professor didn’t say a word but just kept mum and hugged me, he smiled at me and just gave me a word to put it somewhere. I wondered why, he said things to minzy but not to me.

“Congratulations unni” Minzy shook my hand and I just looked at her, completely lost,

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