What was his name? Choi Minho? Choi Minho... was standing in front of me. His eyes looked bigger than my fists and if I happened to be in another situation I might have chuckled. Aish.... Minho lives... and probably has blood relation to my new psychologist. Wonderful.

"Kibum-shi?" - On the bright side he was as suprised as me. And he looked a bit... confused. His hair was totally messed up and he was wearing house clothes - grey sweatpants and a wide shirt.

"Minho...-shi?" - I said with uncertainty. To tell the truth even though I at communicating I think anyone would have trouble with thinking of an adequate response in such a situation.

"Ki...bum-shi?" - I looked from left to right. When he opened the door I don't think it could have become more awkward, but you know what - it just did.

"Yes.... Is... Dr. Choi here?" - Minho nodded slowly. - "Can.... you call him?" - He nodded once again and retreated to his house. I continued standing in front of the house uncomfortably shifting my weight from one leg to another. Suddenly a man appeared in front of me. His hair was already grey and he had eyes about as big as Minho's. Overall impression was okay. I could see that even though he wan't that young he was still very energetic and full of determination. He smiled warmly and motioned me to enter the house.

Inside the house was pretty much as cozy A lot of photos on the walls, flowers in vases, mllowy yellow walls - everything gave off a nice family feel. My psychologist led me to a room with blue walls. I right away noticed a piano. Plus ten points to the Choi family. I love pianos and even though I hadn't played one for already two years it still gave me pleasant memories. I used to play everyday for my grandmother - she actually taught me to play it. But then she died... and playing hes favorite pieces kinda lost meaning.

Dr. Choi sat down on a coach and motioned me to sit across from him on yet another coach. I noticed that on the table between us there were already cookies and a teapot - probably to create a pleasant working atmosphere. Also I took notice of the fact that Minho seemingly dissapeared. My doctor out on his glasses and then pulled out some papers from his bag carefully looking through them. I kept staring at him. Finally he finished.... doing whatever he was doing and looked at me. I jst looked back.

"So you are Kim Kibum?" - I just nodded - "Well my name is Dr. Choi and I am your psychologist starting from today."

I bowed my head a bit - "Pleasure to meet you" - He nodded and wrote something down in his notebook. Maybe I bowed wrongly or something like that.

"So... you parents said that you have communication problems." - I shrugged having nothing better to say in response. - "Today was your first day of school, right" - I nodded - "How was it?"

"Ok." - My usual answer. He chuckled a bit and I raised my eyebrow.

"Now.... please answer after thinking." - I was taken a bit aback but then nodded. He was right in a way - I didn't even think before answering but then again - it never bothered anyone before.

It was silent for a few seconds as I tried to remember all the things that happened today. He didn't seem to mind.

"It was.... ok." - Same answer but Dr. Choi seemed more satisfied this time.

"And did you have a hard time getting used to the new school" - He asked while writing something down.

"This school............... is pretty much the same as my previous one." - The doctor chuckled at my response.

"How so?"

"It's highschool so anywhere you go it will be the same" - He nodded but I could se the amusement in his eyes.

"And did you make friends?" - I blinked a few times. I liked Seunghyun and Minhwan but could they be really counted as friends.

"Could you please specify the word "friends'" - This time he was taken aback.

"Excuse me?"

"Specify the word 'friends'. Do you mean it as a person I can hang around with or a person I will always go to if I have problems, a person who ca confort me?" - Dr. Choi wrote something down again. This was kinda nostalgic. Junsu as well always wrote things down and whenever I asked him what he was doing he would always say that it was a secret.

"And how is your relationship with your parents?" - I wasn't suprised he ignored my previous question.

"Ok." - He looked at me intently.

"Do you think that your parents think that your relationship with them is good?" - I mentally chuckled. This guy had a point. If my parents thought that everything was fine they wouldn't have sent me to a psychologist. Dr. Choi was still analising my expression.

"I think.... that you should ask my parents that."

"I am not planning to ever meet them." - I furrowed my eyebrows at his response. - "Kibum.... you are my patient and I am planning to work with only you. Your parents don't know you that well so asking them about your condition won't help me with anything."

Condition? What was this guy talking about? I am completely normal..... probably.

He looked at me and gave me a sad smile.

"Kibum, you are a good kid and you don't have a mental illness but there is a small problem with you. It si so hard to talk with you. I keep talking and asking you questions. I see you thinking about the answers but you never voice your thoughts. You don't want to open up and that is why people think it is hard to communicate with you."

It was silent for a few seconds as I was processing what he had just said. Opening up? Keeping everything inside is not a problem, it's a personality trait

"Kibum...?"

"....Mmm?"

"I think I'll see you next week." - He stood up and took off his glasses to put them in his case. I followed his example and pushed myself off the coach. It was a very fast .... session. Usually Junsu would make all appointments an hour, rarely ask if I could stay for 2 hours. But then again I better staop comparing Dr. Choi to Junsu - they are way different. Junsu liked talking and making me listen. He rarely actually did what he was payed for. Of course sometimes he would give me different psychological test but that was a rare occasion. Dr. Choi on the other hand liked asking questions. And he also liked getting answers. This guy wasn't planning to talk - he wanted to hear me speak. Well..... Good luck with that.

"That's it?" - I picked up my bag and swung it around my shoulder. He turned around and looked at me.

"Yep. I need to figure out how I am going to work with you and at the moment I don't think you are willing tro cooperate." - I nodded slightly before making my way to the door. - "Oh, and one more thing!" - I turned around half expecting him to give me the homemade cookie but he was empty-handed. - "Our meetings might take 15 minutes nad they might go over 3 hours. It may seem weird but that is how I work. You'll get used to me soon but in the beginning it might seem a bit strange. Just make sure that all your mondays and thursdays are free." - I nodded. I didn't really have that much to do after school. - "See you on thursday, Kibum"

"See you, Dr. Choi" - I did a small wave and exited the house. Once the sunshine hit my eyes I realised that I never wanted to come back again. This guy wanted to crack me. I didn't...... want that.

I strolled towards the gate. Suddenly I heard footsteps behind me and a second later a hand tapped my shoulder. I turned around and my eyes went up. While Minho was sitting down I haven't realised how tall he actually is. It took him some time to catch his breath. In that time I was busy checking him out. Don't get me wrong but he managed to already get changes into grey skinny jeans and a blue shirt.

"Hey" - He looked me in the eyes while I was trying to look at anywhere but him.

"Hey....." - Neither of us knew what else to say.

"I'll.... walk you to the bus stop." - I raised my eyebrow but then desided to just agree since I had no clue where to go.

The walk was very quiet. I felt like Minho wanted to ask me about me having a mental illnes but couldn't pick out the right words. I saw him opening his mouth a couple of times but nothing comprehensive was really coming from it. I  the end he seemed to throw away the idea of asking me about anything.

I think.... that the walk was a bit more awkward for him. But at the same time I think that he should be the one to start the conversation and I wasn't planning on helping him out. In the end we just stayed silent - not that I minded.

When we reached the bus stop he mumbled something incomprehensive and left. I stayed waiting for the bus.

In my head I kept repeating that I wasn't crazy - it made me feel better. I kept repeating that keeping everything inside isn't a mental problem but a personality trait - it helped me keep my sanity.

I was already dreading Thursday - I didn't want to face my psychologist, I didn't want him to ask me questiones. I didn't want to open up.

It took me years to learn not to speak up and to keep everything to yourself.

And I wasn't about to let anyone change that.