I was glad that my eyes weren't red when I woke up for school Monday morning. I'm still not sure about what to do about Donghae oppa, though... Should I take Kyuhyun's advice and just continue my friendship with oppa a secret or do what Gyuri wants and forget him completely? Ah.... It's so confusing....

Walking with Ye Eun this morning was especially awkward in a sense; knowing that I couldn't tell her anything.... And we always told each other EVERYTHING. I want to go back in time and just erase what happened Friday....

====================================================================

"Bunny!" As I walked through the gates of school, Donghae oppa called me and his expression looked worried. "Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

"...Sorry..." was all I could say.

"What do you mean-"

"Um, uh, I have to go. I'll... see you in class!" I ran off to the school building as quickly as I could. You have no idea how much that hurt me to do that. I ran to my classroom and got settled in there until class started. Hopefully oppa decided not to follow me; I could just be alone for a little while.

"How are you?" I heard a voice behind me say. I turned around and Gyuri was standing by the backdoor. "Not being with oppa. How is it?" she laughed.

"Fine... " was all I said as I turned aback around, not caring about her.

"Tch. I'm sure it is... We'll see...." I heard her footsteps fade away and that was when I knew she was gone.

"What a- Ughh, I don't even know..." I buried my face in my hands. All around me I heard talk about a new student who was going to be in our class. Deep down I hoped the teacher wouldn't put her in the open seat beside me. I can't handle talking to whoever it is in this condition.

"Noona, what did Gyuri say to you?" I looked up and Kyuhyun was staring at me and looking around.

"She hates me..." I buried my head in my hands once again.

"Noona, you have to tell Donghae hyung... If not, what about Leeteuk hyung?"

I looked up again. "Leeteuk oppa. I haven't thought about that." As I said this, my oppas walked in and Kyuhyun looked at his watch.

"Oh! I have to go. Class is about to start! Good luck, noona!" Kyuhyun rushed out of the backdoor and ran to his classroom.

My oppas walked past me and they didn't say a word; they just smiled at me and at their desks which were in the same row as mine.

Teacher Hwang walked into the room and he had an announcement. "Okay kids, we have a new student that will be joining our class today. She is transferring from another class in this school so you may know her or have seen of her before." Teacher Hwang turned towards the doorway. "You may come in now." I think my heart just stopped. My breathing became short and heavy and my face got hot. "Everyone, please welcome Miss Park Gyuri into your class." All the boys were screaming and shouting and whistling at the news of her entering our class. I looked over at my oppas and they didn't seem to be smiling at all.

"I hope you enjoy our class. Now let's find a seat for you to sit in..." Teacher Hwang scanned the room to find an empty seat for her and I was praying with all my might that it wouldn't be the seat next to mine. "Hmm, well, I think the best seat for you would be..."

God. Hates. Me.

"Next to Sunye. The desk beside her, right there," he said pointing.

My oppas turned to me with concerned looks on their faces. Gyuri came over to me and sat in her new seat.

"Hi, Sunye," she smiled at me conceitedly.

I smiled at her half-heartedly. From this moment on I knew that senior year was going to be the worst year of my life.

====================================================================

"So she's in your class AND she sits next to you?!" Kyuhyun said. Kyuhyun and I decided to walk home together today since Ye Eun had to go to practice again. His house is in the same direction as me but we don't live close to each other.

"Yeah..." I replied. "... Help me..." I pleaded. After what happened that Friday, I realize I'm relying so much on him and his advice. At this point, Kyuhyun is the only person I can really talk to about this. I mean, I don't mind, but... if only I could tell them...

"Why not just tell your teacher to switch her seat?"

"It-That-I'd love to but... I have a feeling she'll hate me even more."

For a few minutes we just walked in silence. Kyuhyun looked like he was in deep thought about this situation. Knowing his witty self, I can only imagine what solution he'll come up with, ha ha.

Suddenly he finally spoke up. "Why not switch seats with hyung?"

I turned to look at him. "What?"

"If hyung is what Gyuri wants, she'd love it if he sat next to her, you know? It's a terrible idea, but if you're willing-"

"I'm actually not..." I replied.

"Not..."

"Not willing to do that. I can't just let her get what she wants whenever she wants it.... It's not fair... She already has oppa...."

Kyuhyun became silent for a moment again. A few minutes later he spoke. "Noona, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything," I said.

"How much does Donghae hyung mean to you?"

Kyuhyun's question caught me completely off guard. "Huh? What?"

"I don't mean to pry... but I'm just curious. I've seen the way you look at hyung. You don't look at him just as your oppa, not as an older brother, not as a friend. It's not the same look you give Leeteuk hyung."

"Do I?" I asked. Honestly, I haven't noticed that. Do I really look at Donghae hyung differently?

"I'm not stalking you, I swear!" he said abruptly.

I giggled. "No, I know you're not. But... Do I really look at him differently?"

"I don't really know how to explain it, but.... It's just a feeling, you know? It just feels like you're looking at him not as an oppa... but as something else. Ah, well, it doesn't matter, I guess. Forget I said that."

"No.. It's fine. Maybe...."

"Noona. DO you like hyung? Not as a friend, but, you know/"

I looked up at Kyuhyun. "... I don't know. I'm not sure... If I do... is it weird? To like my oppa?"

"No! It's not noona!"

I looked away. "Then... Maybe I do..." I shook my head and sadly laughed. "But.. forget it. I know he doesn't even like me like that."

"But what if he does, noona. You don't realize it but everyone else does. You're the only girl he even looks at."

"Forget it, Kyuhyun. It wouldn't even work out." We reached the intersection where Kyuhyun and I would part. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. See you tomorrow, noona!" Kyuhyun crossed the street and waved to me.

I waved back. "Oppa doesn't like me the way I like him...." I said to myself as I turned around and headed for my house.

====================================================================

That night I laid in my bed thinking about my conversation with Kyuhyun. It was so confusing.... I know Donghae oppa doesn't think of me as more than a friend. I don't want him to know that I might actually LIKE like him; that would make our friendship so awkward. I grabbed my pillow and screamed in it. "AHH! What am I going to do...." I guess now I finally know one of the reasons why I was so overly upset about Gyuri taking oppa from me. Was it jealousy? Jealousy that she can have him and not me?

I looked up and my ceiling and saw the glow in the dark stars. I chuckled. I remember when we were little, when I was around 9 years old, and it was the first time Donghae oppa came over to my house to play. It was a beautiful day at first, but then it started to rain and thunder at night. I remember that I asked oppa if he could stay and play with me until tomorrow because I was so scared. And what he did afterward was so sweet. He moved my bed to the side, ran to the kitchen and got a high stool and placed those very stickers on my ceiling himself. He told me that if I get scared, to just look at those stars at night and just imagine that he's here with me. I smiled. Sometimes I still do imagine that.

"Life is unfair," I told myself.

Just then my cell phone rung with a text message. it was from Yoobin unnie. The text read:

"Sunye-ah! I'm free tomorrow. Do you want to webcam chat? 4 o'clock is okay with you, right? Text me back!"

I texted her saying it was fine and she texted back saying, "Okay."

Maybe I can ask unnie about what to do... She always gives the best advice.

====================================================================

"Kids, today we are starting a new partner project. The subject will revolve around cultures of the world. You will hand in a five page, single spaced paper by the end of next week. While I hand out the rubric, please choose your partners. Please be mindful about who you choose." Teacher Hwang began passing the rubric out and everyone started talking about who they wanted to be their partner. Donghae oppa and Leeteuk oppa talked to each other for a few seconds, their fingers pointing to themselves and then to each other and then again. They both turned and faced me. I bet knowing that they couldn't leave me with Gyuri.

"Bunny. Do you want to be-"

"Oppa! Be my partner?" Gyuri suddenly said.

"Oh, I was-"

"Please, oppa? I don't want to be anyone elses partner but yours!"

"Gyuri, you can be my partner," Leeteuk oppa said.

She looked at Leeteuk oppa. "But I want Donghae oppa..." She looked back at Donghae oppa.

My oppas looked at each other and sighed. "Okay, I'll be your partner," Donghae oppa said.

"Oh! Thank you, thank you!" she clapped her hands together.

"Sunye, my partner?" Leeteuk oppa suggested. I nodded.

====================================================================

"Sorry about what happened with the partners thing," Leeteuk oppa said. "You were supposed to be Donghae's partner and I was supposed to be Gyuri's... but I guess that didn't really work out."

"It's okay, oppa. It doesn't really matter. I'm glad I have you as a partner." Because Gyuri would have been furious if I were Donghae oppa's...

We were eating lunch by ourselves since Gyuri pulled Donghae oppa off somewhere and Ye Eun's class was in trouble.

"When do you want to start the project?" he asked.

"How about tomorrow? I'm busy today."

"Okay. And what do you think our country should be? Maybe China. Oh, or Japan! No, wait! Thailand!" Leeteuk started spewing out all these countries but only one came to my head.

"How about America?"

"America?"

"Mmhm. Yoobin unnie lives there so she can tell us about how it's there and all that stuff."

"That's great, Sunye. We have to tell teacher Hwang as quickly as possible. Let's go!" He dragged me out of my seat and pulled me to our class.

====================================================================

"Oppa~, show me you're pictures," Gyuri said to me as she dragged be down the hallway.

"My pictures?"

"Yeah, silly. You're photography pictures. Word around the school is that you're an amazing photographer."

"They're not-"

"Oh, don't be like that." Gyuri pulled me towards the photography room. "Let me see them, oppa~."

"Okay..." As much as I didn't want to show them to her... did I really have any other choice?

I opened the room and her eyes became wide. "OH~ Oppa! These are so pretty!" She frolicked around the room and her eyes skipped from picture to picture.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah!" Then her eyes glanced around. "A lot of these pictures are of Sunye, oppa..."

"Yeah. She's my best friend. But, um, there are a lot of Leeteuk hyung and Ye Eun, too." I tried to change the subject and pointed to other pictures that aren't of Sunye.

"Oppa. Do you like Sunye?"

"Well, yeah. She's my best-"

"Not.... as a friend."

I was a little bit bit taken aback. "No, I don't. She's just my friend, Gyuri." I would never admit the truth though....

"Really?" She seemed unsure.

"Really. But I don't know why she's upset with me," I said with my head down.

"She's upset?"

"I don't know... She's not talking to me..." I looked away towards the window and didn't want to show my face. "It's like she's avoiding me. And she won't tell me, Leeteuk hyung, or Ye Eun about it either."

"Really..." Gyuri's voice seemed distant.

"Yeah, but, it's okay." I turned back around. "Let's get back to class, huh?"

"Yeah... Okay, oppa..."

====================================================================

Leeteuk hyung was abnormally silent during the car ride home today. It was almost like he had a lot on his mind. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Alright, hyung. What's the deal. Why are you so quiet?" I asked.

"What? No, I'm just thinking..."

"And you can't share it with me?"

"I want to, Donghae-ah. Huuuhhh," I sighed.

"Shoot, hyung."

"Donghae. Can I ask you for advice?"

"What is it?"

"I like this girl. What should I do to get her?"

"You're asking ME, hyung? You always flirt with girls and you're asking me for girl advice?"

"But I want to do this one right. I want to get her the right way."

"I think the most important part is to just be yourself. Don't act like something you're not because I think people, especially girls, hate that. And don't seem too desperate and I guess just let things fall into place. Give the impression that you care about her and not be too forceful."

"Thanks, Donghae. That was some heck of advice," he laughed.

"Thanks, hyung. Can I ask who this girl is? Do I know her?"

"Yeah, I think you guys do." We were now in front of Leeteuk hyung's house.

"Who? Tell me!"

"It's um..."

"C'mon, hyung!" I pleaded.

"Sunye..."

My eyes became wide. "S-Sunye?"

"I don't know why I started having feelings for her... Is that weird, Donghae? That I like her and we've known each other for such a long time?"

"N-no, not at all, hyung," I stuttered.

"And you're not upset right? I mean, it's not like you like her like that right?"

"No, I don't hyung. I'll help you get her. And you guys are doing that project together so you have even more opportunities to get her."

"Yeah! That's right!"

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay, hyung?"

"Yup! See you!" Leeteuk hyung got out of the car and waved to me before he entered the house.

I drove to the end of the block and hopefully out of sight from his house. I held my head in my hands and breathed deeply. "What am I going to do?" I said to myself. Leeteuk hyung deserves to be happy. I have to get out of the way in order for him to get closer to Bunny. C'mon Donghae. Let Leeteuk have this chance. Lay off of the "best friend" mode on Bunny a little bit and let hyung have a shot. Arghhh.... But what am I going to do....

Hyung.... I like Sunye, too....

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Years beyond now, I hope that we can be, live, and grow old together.

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I'm really sorry for the late update!
Writing by hand is so much more difficult than just typing away on the computer.
The first few parts in the chapter may not be that well written and that's because those were the handwritten parts and then I got fed up and started typing the rest while trying my best to not look at the screen that much XDD

But I hope you guys liked this chapter ^^
Everything is now out in the open =]

Remember to comment ^^
Comments make me happy and keep me inspired to write more.

The link to the REPOSTED story on winglin is: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/loversdiary/

The ORIGINAL one is http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/lovediary/

If winglin works again and I can access my old account, I will delete the REPOSTED one.

07.06.10