Song Prompt: Turn Back Time (Aqua)
Author: jhengchie
pairing: HanChul, Sihanchul
subject: Romance, friendship, angst, crack and fluff [ending]

rating: PG

summary: If only I could turn back time, If only I had said what I still hide, I would stay for the night...

Give me time to reason,give me time to think it through

I was bothered by the certain turn of events. I feel that I’ve betrayed and cheated you for all the wrong decisions that I’ve made.

I didn’t mean to hurt you like this, but it is hard for me too. All I need now is some time alone to think things over. I am still confused and uncertain

if these actions of mine are really right and justifiable. I think of you and I both know some of them are really bad ones.. it only hurts me to see you go through this; all because of me.
 

I tried to reason out, believe me I did.. I wanted to have the easy way out, but God forbids. Don’t get me wrong, you know I love you, I really do; but I have to love myself too.

I will always have a cross to wear,but the bolt reminds me I was there
 

I ask Yesung once and he replied in his most serious way.. “A cross is a reminder of the sacrifice that God made o redeem us all. For others, a cross is a mark of burden. Whatever its meaning, a cross is and will always be a symbol of sacrifice, hardship and redemption.” You know what, it makes sense and for once, Yesung isn’t weird at all.
 

I will always wear a cross to remind me of what I’ve done and its consequences. A cross.. a mark I left in your heart the moment I turned my back on you, a symbol of rejection. I carry that too.
 

It runs deep and it hurts us both. But I know it will remind you of what we’ve shared and what we’ve done together: the memories, the conversation, the sleepless nights, the Beijing Fried Rice.
I may have left you.. but I will never forget you.

So give me strength,to face this test tonight

I did not turn to face you as I said my goodbye. I can hear your muffled sobs as you tried to compose yourself. I stepped outside our shared room and closed the door gently. I stood there as I listen to you cry. I felt the tears fall from my own eyes and started on my way.
 

Be strong for me. I need you to be strong; for You are my strength. This is just a test and I know we’ll get through this. This is just a test, we can make it.
 

I want to hear your laughter as I run away from the world and safe haven we built; I want to remember our glorious and happy days.. not the gloomy ones. You give me strength as I fought a battle with an unbeatable foe. You can’t join me, I can’t let you.. but promise me one thing.. be safe!

If only I could turn back time,If only I had said what I still hide

I still regret that day and I will continue to regret that day. I can clearly see your tear stained face and red puffy eyes as it haunts me to date.
Back then I can’t tell you the true reason, I was afraid it will cause more damage than what I’ve predicted. I was wrong. What I did back then brought a great big wave that swallowed both of us, even inflicting pain on others.
 

I wish I could turn back the hands of clock and go back in time. I realized that it’ll be easier for us and the others if I swallowed my pride and just said everything that bothered my mind. I forgot that we took an oath to face each trial, hand in hand. I forgot you were always there for me, I overlooked it.
 

I was selfish, I didn’t think of you

If only I could turn back time,I would stay for the night... for the night

The night you begged for me to stay; it never left my memory. I left as I hid my tears.
 

But now I want to go back to that time and hold you in my arms. I want to stop the time and feel your heart close to mine. If God permits, I’ll go back and stay with you, even for a night, I’ll give everything up.
 

Remember that I did this for your own good. I have to sacrifice a lot to make your life comfortable but at the cost of my own grief.
 

I may regret it you know, but not the part I sacrificed everything for the sake of love.
 

I want to go back and tell you how much I feel for you. I’ll stay with you and never leave your side; I would continue with the promise I made. I will throw every penny and cent I own  in the wishing well if it takes that much to get you back; to stay with you, to live a life with you, to spend eternity with you.

I would stay for the night.

“Hello”
 

I greeted you as you open the door. I can see your eyes went wide with surprise. I can see a smile form in your lips and tears swell in your eyes. You pulled me in an embrace and cried for the nth time.
 

“it’s ok, I’m staying..”
 

“Are you really staying for good?”
 

“I’ll never leave you..ever”
 

“you better be! You can never find a fine like me!”
 

I laughed at the truth.. you are a as they say, but a fine one like you say. You are my and I’m never letting go.
 

“stop the lawsuit thing ok? And don’t drag the others with it.. my heart can’t take it.. Wookie’s been crying over Yesung”
 

“and You’re not crying over me?”
 

“You won’t get some tonight!”
 

“Heechul..”
 

“Siwon.. I’m sleeping with you tonight!”
 

I smirked at my fine as I fight my brother for your love and attention
 

“Siwon don’t you dare touch my !”
 

“ha! Too late hyung!”

>>.AUTHOR'S NOTE<<<

THE ENDING! I know it XD written back in 2010-2011 when Hangeng's contract termination errupted