Recommended song to play along: BEAST - Black Paradise   *****   The sky was black that day. You could smell the rain slightly pouring from the window of the abandoned building. Again, you visit the place with a longing feelings for him. The special place that Kris gave you the day you two becoming official. Though you can't see his precious taken pictures anymore, the place still manage to comfort you, because it's the only place left that lingered with his senses. When you were there, you'll feel Kris is still with you.   Sometimes, being blind give you an advantage. When you feel someone is there beside you, you just feel it, just the feel and its enough already to make you at ease. When you still have your eyes, all you can feel isn't enough. You have to check it with your vision. If that someone you feel beside you nowhere to be seen, you'll get disappointed. Hurt.    You smoothed the window's ledge with your hand as you let out a sigh. The loss feelings that churned your stomach comeback as the rain started to pour harder. Kris was gone. Kris was dead. Kris was a past. There's days when nightmares about the accident kept haunting your sleep. You often awake with a loud gasp and cold sweats, panting. Sometimes even you have to throw up. That traumatic.   You smile in front of your family, your fellow teachers, your students, just to hide your pain. You spoke about the accident, about your dead boyfriend calmly, just to not burden others. His dead's new was million ways worse than your blind's fact. He is your boyfriend. Your bestfriend. Your prince. Your world. What the anonymous said was true "someone may nothing for the world but you may the world for someone".   It was on your second day after you gained your consciousness when Umma told you about Kris's dead. Your mind was blank. At night when they're finally fell asleep, your depressed mind reach for the drawer, looking for the knife that used to cut your fruits. Intending to stab your own self, to be with Kris again. But instead of the knife, your hand brushed with a cold tingling chain. Your necklace. Your wing necklace from Kris.