Chanyeol for amusingmurdermachine

Chanyeol

   It's a gloomy day. How pleasant. I reached into my pocket looking for my phone to check tomorrow's weather. I searched my back pockets and my backpack. I realized I left my phone in my locker. Ugh, I hate going to my locker.

".. Maybe she won't be there..." I muttered.

I quickly ran back to go get it. I slowed down and stopped when I heard sounds of sobbing. I peered around the corner and saw my ex-girlfriend Hae Rin sitting there, crying in the empty school.

Tears were streaming down her face as she was sitting on the ground crouched over. She was sobbing between hiccups and honestly, looked like a mess. Pieces of hair stuck to her face from the tears, while she sloppily wiped the tears away with her sweater.

Crap. My mouth suddenly felt dry and my chest felt heavy. I felt sick. I hated hearing the sound of crying. Especially hers. It just hurts to hear it. I leaned against the wall, closed my eyes, and sighed. Not again. Not this feeling again. I've had to fight it too many times and I don't want to fight it anymore. 

I decided to approach her. Maybe even comfort her. But mostly to get my phone.

"Hey there.. You alright?" I asked.

I sat down next to her carefully.

She sniffled. "Hey.. Yeah I'm fine. I'm just practicing for Drama Club that's all." She said trying to smile even though tears were obviously running down her two cheeks.

"Hae Rin-ah. Don't lie to me. I know you and I know for a fact that you're lying and that you're just hiding your feelings again."

"It's just, I can't help it Chanyeol. I can't stand watching someone else being hurt or I don't want to be an attention from my problems. I'd rather keep it to myself. And I hate myself for it." she stated finally catching her breath.

"Don't.. Don't be afraid of yourself and just be you. No one's gonna get hurt. The only person being hurt is you." I said, "Do you remember why we broke up in the first place..?" 

"Not really.. You got bored of me?" she said. 

"No. It was because you were too afraid to be who you really are. You were always so happy and cheerful about.. EVERYTHING. I was afraid. I was afraid that I did something wrong, but that you wouldn't tell me. So I broke it off. I thought it would be better this way."  

"Well I didn't nor ever did think that you did anything wrong. I was actually even more devastated when you broke up with me."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to do. I really liked you though."

After a few moments of silence, "I missed you." she said out of no where.

Hesitating, pausing for a  moment, not sure how to respond, I sat there.

"I missed you too." I whispered.

"But we can't get back together. We can't." she said.

"I know. Maybe one day. But not today or tomorrow. Or in a month or a year. I don't think we're do ready for that yet. Let's just go our own ways for a while. You know avoid each other as much as possible?" I said looking down with my hands folded in my lap.

Remembering what my objective was I slowly stood up. "I have to go now so.. I'll talk you some other time?" I quickly opened my locker taking my phone out..

"Yeah, go ahead. See you around school!" she said leaning her head on her knee.

The next Hae Rin was being Hae Rin again. Being the happy, jumpy person she is in front of almost everybody. I made brief eye contact with her but I avoided her as much as possible.

A guilty feeling kept coming up. I keep thinking about her words. "I was actually even more devastated when you broke up with me."

What if I hurt her even more that I thought? What if she was actually happy with me? What if... we never broke up? All sorts of thoughts filled my mind.

I shook all the negative thoughts out and headed towards my next class. It was my favorite class. Music. Unfortunately Hae Rin's in it but I still love it. It was one of the things we had in common together when we were still dating. 

This week we each had to present a song that we've been feeling recently. I was the first to present.

I took out my music sheets and sat down at the piano. My hands started playing the music in front of me and I began singing Fight The Bad Feeling by T-Max.

-OnewtheWalnut

Sorry if it isn't angsty... I hope you guys enjoyed!(: