"Chunnie? Su? Guys I'm back..." Jaejoong asked.

"Hello?" No response. That's weird. 

Jaejoong took off his shoes and walked into the large livingroom. There was a fire going under the mantle, the sound of the crackling firewood and the smell of burnt logs filled the house. He felt warm. Welcomed. 

He goes into the kitchen and sees a note on the  table:

Yoochun and I have gone out. We decided to stay at his house for the night. I know that you need sometime to think everything over before we make our next appearence. It may be your duty as leader but both of us wants you to know that if you ever need anything, just call us and we'll be there in minutes! Yoochun says that there's some fanmail underneath the coffee table. You can read yours if you would like, if those encouraging words could be able to cheer you up! Anyways, enjoy your night alone. Chunnie and I need it too *wink* Goodnight Hyung!

Junsu and Yoochun~

Jaejoong finished reading with a sigh. He knew better not to bother the two of them and he couldn't thank them enough for letting him be alone for the night. He started to go through the fanmail and noticed nothing but the usual. 

He got up from the chair in the kitchen and dragged his body to bed. His heart still ached. In fact, it ached everyday, but for some reason, today seemed to be more severe than normal. As his body slowly moved itself onto the bed and under the heavy covers, he his radio to a acapella/ballad station. 

The radio was playing 2AM's "I Can't Let You Go Even If I Die"

Wow, the radio really understands my feelings today. Even playing this song for me. It must know that I'm thinking about the old DBSK again...incredible. Jaejoong thought. 

Not soon after, DBSK's debut song "Hug" started playing.

Jaejoong couldn't stop himself from feeling emotional. He started to hum along and sing his lines. Remembering how they made one of their first radio appearences with this song, his thoughts filled up with Yunho again. Thoughts of how he used to kiss Yunho on the cheek while Changmin gasped and giggled at their closeness. Tears started forming once again for the second time that night. Except that his time, they overflowed in his eyes and rushed down his cheeks. 

When the song ended, he made a silent prayer to DBSK. He asked God to keep his feelings away and to tuck them under his concious so that he won't have to do it himself in the near future. 

Without even knowing it, he fell asleep as soon as the song ended. 

"Yunho?! Yunho! Where are you going? Don't leave me here! No!" Jaejoong exclaimed. 

"Bye Jaejoong. Goodbye my love. You have caused me too much pain and anguish, I can no longer be your lover..."A voice whispered around Jaejoong.

"No! Yunho, I c-c-can change! I'll do a-anything for you! Please! Don't leave me!" Jaejoong sobbed. 

"Byebye Umma. Appa can take better care of me. I no longer need you Umma. Bye..." Changmin said.

And with that they disappeared into the light and left Jaejoong alone in the dark. 

"No! No! Don't leave!" Jaejoong shouted as he woke up with jolt as if he had been electricuted by his own dream. 

Just a dream. A dream Jaejoong. Calm down. As he thought to himself 

He peaked at his watch, 3:00 AM. 

He couldn't fall asleep again, he couldn't go back to bed. His feelings had overridden his body and his thoughts again. He wanted to shake it off so he got up from his bed and steppped out into the living room, lighted up, and made himself comfortable on the couch. 

The book set on the coffee table amused him and so the leader picked it up and started reading from where he last left off. 

Still, he couldn't stop thinking about the old days. How they used to be so nice and close with each other. He knows that his current loyalty should belong with Yoochun and Junsu, where his home was, and his adoptive and biological parents. However, his heart, wanted to belong somewhere else. It was stuck in the middle of a tug-of-war between loyalty and desire. 

His thoughts tugged at his already tired brain and less than an hour later, he drifted back to sleep in his PJ's and a book on his chest.