Jaejoong checked on Yoochun and Junsu, both were hugging each other under the thin blanket and snoring softly. He took the note from the bedside table and closed to window so the cold, winter air wouldn't make them sick. On his tippy toes, he walked out and closed the door with a soft thud. 

He moved the groceries into the kitchen and began making dinner. 

He made sure to keep it quiet so that he wouldn't wake up s. Due to his amazing culinary skills, he was done making dinner in under 45 mins. With all things set on the table, he sat back on the couch and waited for the others to wake up.

Yoochun was the first to wake up, he stepped out of the bedroom and into the living room. He found Jaejoong reading a book on the couch with headphones around his head. He tapped the leader lightly on the shoulder but his touch made Jae jump out of his reading position. 

"Oh! Yoochun! You're awake...where's Junsu?"

"Su's still asleep..."

"Not anymore." Junsu spoke as he walked out of the room. "It smells delicious hyung! Did you make my favorites again?" Said the wide-eyed Junsu. 

"I made your faveorites to comfort you so you wouldn't be so giddy about the interview earlier. I want you to just relax and go with the the flow Su."

"Ahhh...Hyung is so caring and kind!"

"Well we shouldn't wait any longer or Junsu will start to salivate like a starving puppy...let's eat shall we?" Yoochun suggested.

After dinner, Jaejoong decided to go out for a walk along the Han river. Both Junsu and Yoochun knew the leader needed time alone so they let him be.

He got his keys, left the cozy home, and took his car out to the Han river. He bought a pack of smokes on the way alongside a hat and a mask to cover up his face. He knew that there would be many fans and couples along the river, so he decided to drive out to the more remote and rural place along the bank of the river. 

He parked his car in the nearby parking lot and stepped out with gracefulness. He walked along the bank and sat in a bench that overlooked parts of the river. 

Referencing to his Cartier watch again, he began to think of Yunho.

The watch meant something of great significance to both him and Yunho. It was one of the most expensive and meaningful gifts that Yunho had ever given him. It meant almost everything to Jaejoong, and three years earlier, he tried tossing it out the window but ended up running after it anyways. It was the one part of him he would never throw away. It represented the good times he shared with his ex-lover and he wasn't ready to accept that fact that maybe their relationship could never be fixed again. It was broken to the point of no repair, just like his heart. 

He decided to relieve some stress and lighted up a stick. He sat there wondering and trying not to stare at the other couples. It was getting pretty late but there were still a lot of couples lingering around the river. He just wanted to be alone, to remember, and to let his mind wander without worry.

His head filled up with his cigarette smoke, just like that, he rested in his chair and began to remember. The thoughts of Yunho filled his head. Where is he now? How's he doing? Is he currently seeing anyone? Should he be happy for him if he is? What about military service? When would he go? What about the interview? How would they respond?

All the questions bundled up in his head and he shook them out physically as he puffed his last breath of smoke from his cigarette. It was 10:00 PM now and the people seemed more scattered than before. From afar, he could still see a couple cuddling, keeping each other warm as they sat there and looked at the pretty lights that lighted up the city of Seoul. To his right, there was a couple hugging each other as they said their last goodbyes and parted from each other for the day. To his left, he saw two people holding hands and playing with each other's jacket sleeve...whispering something into each other's ears as the girl giggled and blushed. 

These couples and their actions all reminded him of his days with Yunho. How during their trainee days, Yunho would share his meal with Jaejoong, even when it was just ramen soup and rice. They ate like the happiest people alive. It wasn't the food that mattered, but the prescence of being next to each other that gave their poor meal warmth and happiness. He also remembered how Yunho would give him his jacket when they trained during the winter. When it was raining and freezing outside, Yunho would always lend his jacket to Jae, even if it meant that he had to suffer in the cold. Back then, they meant everything to each other and both shared the same goals. After debut, at the 2008 MKMF, he remembered how Yunho embranced him when they won the award. How they would sit next to each other and hold hands secretly during the presentation. How the five of them sang their debut song "Hug" together infront of hundreds of thousands of fans, all waving their red light sticks and cheering them on.

Jaejoong missed that. He missed every bit of his days with Yunho. Even the time when they fought, because the make up would always be worth every last drop of anguish and pain. 

Without even realizing it, his eyes started to form tears at the ends. They slowly slid down his cheeks. He didn't even bother wiping them because they represented the feelings he still had for Yunho. All he wanted to do was to run into Yunho's arms and tell him that he was sorry for turning away, for running away from their broken relationship. However, even that simple thing could not be achieved in the current situation that both parties were going through.

Jaejoong got up from the bench, it was already 12:00 AM. Oh! How time had escaped from him! He thought to himself. And with that, he drove away into the night and back to reality. The one that he dearly shared with Yoochun and Junsu. He couldn't accept it, his heart ached everytime he tried. Even with his best effort, he failed. Instead, he kept his feelings for Yunho locked in a box and when it would open slightly at times, he would lock it away again. Until the day that he sees Yunho again, the box that contained all his overflowing feelings would be locked away deep in his heart.