The day ended peacefully after a bunny hat, a bubble tea, a white sweater with little wings on the back and one more meat bun that he ate while we were going back to the hotel – we had finally found out way back to Old Montreal – to end the day. We had walked quite a lot, well, as much as his heart would let us, and we had spent a very good time outside so far. I put my arms over Sungmin’s shoulders to pull him closer to me and pressed a kiss on his forehead softly – it had become less awkward after a few times – as we were waiting for a light to go green.

“Are you happy?” I asked him, my lips still in contact with his skin.

“Of course I am. I get a few things I never even imagined I could eventually get, I also get to spend a beautiful day outside instead of staying home and missing the sun… and I get to have a boyfriend for today only.”

“An act makes you happy?”

“It’s better than nothing, you know.”

“I guess so,” I sighed when the light turned green.

We reached the area right next to the river and I chuckled when I saw my parents just watching the water and talking softly on a bench. I pressed Sungmin’s hand. “Hey. Let’s not disturb them.”

“You’re right,” he smiled. “We’ll go somewhere else then?”

“There was a bench right next to the hotel. We could go there.”

“Yeah.”

We went there, slowly not to put too much pressure on Sungmin’s heart, and sat. I purred in happiness when I could finally rest my feet. He did he same and sat next to me, leaning against my shoulder softly, his long lashes half-hiding his deep, dark eyes. His voice sounded very delicate when he started talking.

“Say, Kangin…”

“Yeah?”

“Did it make you happy that I was with you today? Even if it was just to keep you from being alone.”

“Uh? It wasn’t just for that…”

“Still. Did it make you happy that I was there?”

“Of course it did.”

“Even after I asked you to be my boyfriend for one day?”

“Of course. I still spent an amazing time with you. And you look adorable with that bunny hat on.”

He blushed and hid his face against my arm a bit. “You mean that?”

“Do you really think I would lie to you? Just so you would feel good about it?”

“No. You wouldn’t do that.”

“See. I’m not that kind of person.”

“Still, you mean that?”

“Yeah. You look adorable with it.”

“Just with it?”

We were slowly sliding towards a dangerous ground. I looked away, trying to keep my cool. Trying to push back what I felt slowly growing inside me. Trying to push back what I had felt growing more and more during the day. Already there before, but confirming itself now. Feelings. Feelings I didn’t want to admit. I was a manly man. I couldn’t… I couldn’t feel that way…

“You… you always look adorable…” I said softly.

“You mean that too?”

Why did he always have to question everything I was saying? Of course I meant that! It wasn’t like I was smart enough to tell lies just like that…

“Sungmin, I…”

“Call me Min. Please. Okay?”

I nodded, still not looking at him. “Okay. Min.”

“What is it?”

“Do you really think I could even lie to you?”

“No.”

“Then why are you always questioning everything I say?”

“Because I like knowing that you really mean what you say. It makes me feel warm inside. Like soft warmth making my heart feel like it’s in an unreachable but comfortable cocoon. Like nothing can hurt me because you’re here with me and you care about me.”

He was so sincere I felt my heart skip a beat. I couldn’t… I couldn’t feel that way, but…

“Min…”

“Yeah?”

“How would you feel like if this was not an act?”

He chuckled. “I would be the happiest person in the world. My heart would probably beat so fast that I would be about to die. But it’s just an ‘if’, right? There’s no way it could be real.”

I finally looked at him. Manly man or not, I didn’t care anymore. My feelings were slowly threatening to drown me if I didn’t let them out. I had discovered them a while ago; only today they had managed to break through my will not to let them overwhelm me.

His big curious eyes caught mine. I could see a bit of sadness, a lot of happiness, a bit of despair and a lot of hope in those eyes. I could see fear, but also serenity. Sad that I was just a friend. Happy that I had spent my day with him. Desperate to know I would probably never fall in love with him. Hoping that I would. Fearing death. Feeling serein because he knew I would never let anyone hurt him.

I leaned forward softly. Slowly. Delicately. I didn’t want to push him. I didn’t want him to feel nervous. I just wanted him to feel peaceful.

My lips touched his in a long, long kiss, as the sun was slowly setting behind the two of us.