I spent ages just thinking about what he had called me. His friend. I was his friend, though we had known each other for… less than a day. Was he just very naïve or too trusting? What made him think I was any different from those people laughing at him? Was it just because I had asked him about his disease? Was it just because I had helped him out during lunchtime? What made me different from them? Why did he even trust me?

Not that I didn’t want to be trusted, but still. I don’t know, in his situation, I probably wouldn’t have trusted anyone…

“Kangin?”

I couldn’t help but feel reassured, hearing that beautiful, delicate voice. I smiled when I saw his curious eyes and patted his head softly. “Hey. Done getting your books?”

“Yeah. Are you not?”

“Sorry, I was thinking. What’s next class already?”

“Math. You’ve forgotten?”

“Yeah, sorry. My memory .”

“It’s okay. You’re helping me, so I’ll help you remember.”

I smiled and patted his head again. “Thanks. Okay, I have my books. Let’s go.”

We went to class and sat on the floor next the door, waiting for the teacher. I tilted my head to the side when I noticed how happy he seemed to go in math. “Sungmin, do you like math?”

“Of course I do. It helps me understand a few things better, because I can calculate them myself. And I’m pretty good at it.”

“I see.” Actually, no. I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t understand why he liked math. To me, math was just a useless and unwanted headache almost every single day of the week. Nothing I needed. Still, if he liked that, good for him, eh.

“But I like music better. I love singing, though nobody cares about me most of the time. And it’s better like that. People watching me makes me nervous. It would be dangerous.”

“Right, you’re in my music class… I’m sorry, I never noticed you before.”

“I can understand. I never tried getting along with anyone and I’ve never sung or played in front of anyone but the teacher. So it’s normal that you didn’t notice me.”

“Played? What do you play?”

“I play the guitar in class. When everybody left, sometimes I play the piano a bit.”

“Really? That’s cool!”

“… but you play that too.”

“Just a bit.”

“I play that just a bit too.”

He laughed softly and I sighed, wondering why he knew so much about me, when I knew so little about him. I mean, we met a few hours ago only, right? So it was normal that I didn’t know anything about him. But why did he know so much about me? About how popular exactly I was, about what instruments I could play…

“Say, Sungmin…”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you know what instruments I can play?”

He blushed and looked away. “Well, you’re popular, so…”

“Don’t lie,” I said softly. “Maybe I’m quite popular, but it doesn’t explain everything.”

“But that’s the truth. You’re very popular.”

He was looking at me again with those big dark eyes, and I frowned. He wasn’t exactly the kind who’d lie, right? Especially not while saying it was the truth. Did that mean…

“Wait, what… well, I mean, you’re…?”

“Yes, I’m gay. So what? I… I’m free to like whomever I want. It doesn’t matter if… if that person is straight. I can understand. Most people are not, um, like me.”

… actually I just wanted to know if he had been watching me for a while, but that answer was explaining everything pretty well too. I stayed silent for a moment. I was a manly man. I was not gay. I couldn’t love him back…

“I’m sorry,” I sighed.

“It’s okay, I understand. I just wanted you to know. I tried being cold to you at first so I wouldn’t start spazzing out just knowing you were talking to me. It would’ve been dangerous. But then, having you as my friend is, well, the best I can hope for. But it’s okay, I’m very happy.”

I looked at him. “You don’t seem happy…”

He chuckled. “Maybe because I do wish that you could see me as more than a friend… but I know that’s impossible. So it’s okay. I knew you were nicer than other people. I’m just happy that you’re my friend.”

I patted his head. “Sorry.”

He chuckled again, smiling a bit, and simply closed his eyes, enjoying my hand on his head. Somehow, I could feel, just with that, how much he trusted me. And I promised myself to always be by his side. Because he deserved to be happy.