My name is Kim Youngwoon. I mean, Youngwoon Kim. My parents moved here in Quebec when I was a kid, so I had to get used to say my name like this. Actually, I don’t really like my name. I prefer my nickname, Kangin. Why did we move here in Quebec? Because my parents wanted us to try something totally new. And they didn’t want me to ever have to do the military service.

Anyways. I’m 16 years old now, and I’m in my last year of high school. And there was this guy in my school who was always alone. He didn’t have any friend and he never talked to anyone. Small, frail, he would never hurry, never run, not even in PE. Despite never hurrying, he would never be late. He always went to the next class right after the last one was finished so he would be on time.

I didn’t notice it before a while, but this guy was never talking in front of the class. When we had to do presentations, he would always do it only when being alone with the teacher. Everyone in the school started talking about a curse or something, and anyone who would approach him would also be cursed. I didn’t believe it one bit, but I still didn’t plan on approaching a guy who didn’t talk to anyone and didn’t really seem to mind it.

I didn’t plan on approaching him, until that day.

Until the day they told me about the rumors.

“Hey, Youngwoon!” Kyuhyun called my name.

I turned, sighed when I saw Heechul and Kibum with him. Why was I not surprised at all? Kyuhyun was the youngest and also the biggest little boss around. He was only 12 years old but he had so much of a horrible personality that he was able to boss around 15 years old guys. He considered me as the most dangerous hyung around, which was why he didn’t dare try to boss me. Though he still never called me “hyung”.

“What do you want, brat?” I sighed.

“You know, that guy? That cursed guy. He’s in your group.”

“What about him?”

“They say only the manliest men talked to him.”

“So what?”

“Are you a manly man?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Why haven’t you talked to him yet then? Are you scared perhaps?”

“Me, scared?! Never. I just didn’t know about that rumor.”

“Go and talk to him then. Talk to him until he replies.”

I shrugged. “Fine. He doesn’t scare me.”

I looked around and found him in a corner, reading. I walked to him and sighed. “Hey.”

He didn’t even look at me. I took this time to stare at him. He was the cute kind of cute. The very cute kind of guy. Black hair, frail body, big, sad brown eyes. I shook my head. I was a manly man. I used to have girlfriends. I couldn’t think like this about that guy.

“Hey, you,” I tried again. “I… I need to talk to you. Why… why are you alone?”

He stopped reading and looked at me. The sadness in his eyes became pain, awful, horrible, unstoppable, unbearable pain. Pain that impressed me. Was his life really so difficult?

“You’re the first one to ask it,” he said. His voice was very calm, very soft, a bit hesitating. I sat next to him, curious. “I’m the first, really? I thought that people…”

“People don’t care, really,” he interrupted me. “They just come here to prove that they can do it. They say that I’m cursed. I don’t care about them, as much as they don’t care about me.”

“I heard the rumors. That’s sad.”

“It’s because they don’t know about my… problems.”

“Problems?”

“My disease.”

I frowned. I had never heard about that before. “A disease?”

“Yeah, an incurable one. Actually, not incurable, maybe… if we knew what it is. It’s unknown. If I’m too nervous or if I move too much or too quickly, there’s something… I can’t really explain this. It’s horrible.”

I bit my lip. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, you’re not responsible for this.”

“But still, I can only feel sorry for you. I can’t imagine what it’s like, and I’m sorry about it. It must be horrible.”

“As long as I don’t move too much and I don’t get nervous, it’s okay. I just have to live in slow motion.”

“Is this why you don’t speak in front of the group? You never do oral presentations.”

“Yeah.”

“What about the rest?”

“The rest?”

“Not having friends, never talking to anyone.”

He chuckled. “Making friends makes me nervous. Talking to people… well, most of them wouldn’t believe me anyways. Other than the doctors, you’re the only one who believed me.”

“What about your parents?”

“They’re dead. They had the same disease as me and we don’t know why. But don’t worry, it’s not contagious. It just happened that my parents both had this problem and ended up having me somehow.”

“It didn’t even cross my mind,” I admitted. “And I’m sorry for asking…”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know.”

“How do you manage to live all by yourself?”

“I told you, I do everything slowly. I’m used to it.”

“I meant, the money.”

“Oh, that. I work for my uncle after school. It’s physical, but he knows I can’t hurry so it’s okay, and I can help out a bit, so he’s okay with that.”

Honestly? I felt like he was much more of a manly man than I was. He lived all by himself, he worked after school, and he had this horrible disease that threatened to… to… to do something…

“You’re so strong. I mean, especially your spirit. You seem so calm about this…”

“Of course I am. Being nervous would’ve killed me. Anyways, I’m used to it. You would probably end up like me if you lived in the same conditions. I’m not especially strong. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to finish reading my book.”

I quickly got up. “Oh, sorry. I’ll let you read.”

“Thanks. It was a pleasure to talk to you.”

I nodded and was about to walk away when I suddenly noticed something. I crouched beside him. “Oh, I forgot. What’s your name?”

He was already reading, but he lifted his head and smiled to me. Softly, delicately. His smile was O so beautiful…

“Sungmin Lee. You can just call me Min, if you want to.”

“Min, then. I’m Youngwoon Kim. Or Kangin.”

He chuckled when he heard my nickname, but didn’t say anything about it and nodded. As he looked at his book again, his long lashes half-covered his eyes. His voice resounded. So soft and so beautiful. Saying one word. “Kangin.”

I walked away. As I was doing so, I heard his voice again, low, very low. “Let’s see if you’ll want to talk to me again…”