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     Looking outside the window, that day the rain pours out again indicating how nature how nature seems to know and understands how Shingyouji felt that day. That day after yesterday when he saw that. When he saw that Misu is kissing another person in front of him But- what’s this? Shingyouji shouldn’t feel this way right? Since Misu is not his. Will never be his. Will never ever be.  But this time it’s wrong… Shingyouji loves this guy, Misu. He had always loved him no matter what.

      “Shingyouji-kun, you should stay away from the open window, you’ll get a cold if you stayed there for so long.” The voice that’s yet to be familiar to him, the voice that soothes him in his sleep, the voice that tells him that everything is going to be alright. And the guy that he’s scared of the first day they met that day. “Chiaki-senpai,” his head was lowered down looking at the ground bowing his head towards the guy right in front of him as he turned away from the open window the wind brushing behind his back. “Thank you.” that word was muttered within a whisper by Shingyouji’s voice.

       Silence. And the next thing Shingyouji knows was that comforting arms wrapping around his petite body, rather more small than this guy in engulfing his into his hugs. Shingyouji shivered as the guy’s lips brushes over his exposed shoulder pecking them gently. Shingyouji didn’t know why he’s not pushing this guy away like the first time they met, that he didn’t bother to say anything at all to this comforting feeling. It’s as if he needed this, needed this thread of line that’s avoiding him from falling down the cliff if ever he was on the edge of it.

     “You know you still look adorable when you cried on my shoulder last night,” Shingyouji could feel the guy grinning from his words as he pushed him away gently looking at the guy. “Chiaki-senpai, don’t tease me like that.” It is the first time on that day that he ever whined and puffed his cheeks out showing his adorable side towards a guy. He never had this chance, on showing this side of his to Misu because he knew Misu would hate this side of him. That Misu would pushed him away when he knows that Shingyouji could act so girly sometimes when it comes to whining and cute gestures of his face. But Shingyouji regret nothing today, when he showed this side of him and Chiaki cupped onto his face giving him a kiss on his forehead, tenderly. As if he’s scared to hurt him.

     He felt loved. For the first time, he felt loved that has been the longing in his heart. He felt loved from another person. Loved that is not just given today and abandoned tomorrow. But love that may last forever. But Shingyouji’s mind still went back to Misu. Will Misu ever do this to him?

No.

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     Strolling down the path towards the school’s garden with Chiaki makes Shingyouji felt like he belong, that he’s worth it in someone’s life.

     ‘Will Misu ever walk beside me like this? Smiling and laughing with me? Soothing onto my hair as the wind blows onto them?’ was what Shingyouji is thinking about while looking at Chiaki.

      “Shingyouji kun?” Shingyouji flashed a little smile at the guy. “What is it Chiaki senpai?”

     “Who are you to Misu?” That question stopped Shingyouji on his track as the wind blows onto the silence that hold into place for few minutes. Shingyouji looked down and the ground and wondered. What should he answer to him? Misu’s friend? Misu’s possession? Misu’s lover? Shingyouji blinked at the last answer. Lover, would never ever be in the dictionary of his and Misu. Ever.

     So he simply smiled at Chiaki, a weak smile portrayed on his face answering the question. “His possession, Chiaki-senpai.”

     And it hurts so badly when it comes to a realization that Chiaki just nodded his head at those words, as if accepting that he is only a possession. That Chiaki is one of those who knows of Misu well and that when Chiaki says nothing, agreeing with what he’s saying.

It truly hurts.

     “Shingyouji!” He could hear the stern voice of someone he knows well of, looking up at this guy who’s standing not far away from them. Misu. Misu was just standing there looking at the both of them with his expression somewhat unfamiliar to Shingyouji. Is he mad?

     “Arata-san…” was what Shingyouji could barely talk out from his mouth. After the realization, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat hurt again. The memory of yesterday haunting him back. His eyes are getting teary looking at the figure in front of him that’s waiting for him to approach but his feet couldn’t bear to walk and his tears are getting ready to fall any time now.

     And Shingyouji felt it again. The way the comforting arms of Chiaki, wrapping around against him pulling his close to the warmth and Shingyouji didn’t push him away even in front of Misu right now because he have to hide himself from crying. Or else Misu would view him as a weakling. As someone Misu should take pity upon. Shingyouji let his tears fall but quickly wipes them away afraid that Misu would ever see them.

     The next thing he knows, the firm hands of his, Misu, grabs onto the slim wrist of his hands prying Shingyouji away from Chiaki’s hold into his own. Into Misu’s hug and that’s the first time he ever heard Misu asking, “Are you okay?”

     And everything came crushing down. His hope that was once on the ground gets lifted up just by the little gesture and words that Misu had done and said. Even with only those few words and gestures, Shingyouji’s hope, they went back up again. The feelings of warmth creeping into his heart as he said, ‘He still cares.’

     For two years now, Misu had never said anything like this. Misu would coldly walked away and not say anything or even asked about Shingyouji, on how he is feeling and everything in between but now… the first time Misu ever asked him if he’s okay. If he’s in need of comfort from him.

     And now, it hurts more knowing that this side of him would only happened once and forgotten the next day. But Shingyouji didn’t care as this is the only chance Misu would be like this. He wrapped his arms around Misu’s waist burying his face onto Misu’s chest as if there’s not tomorrow in his life. Clinging onto Misu like this would be the last of Misu like this. Misu didn’t pushed him away, instead he wrapped his arms around Shingyouji pulling him more closely his fingers soothing onto Shingyouji’s hair.

     What Shingyouji didn’t know was the way Misu was looking at Chiaki as if he’s mad at him for hugging what’s his. How they way Misu muttered to Chiaki, ‘Stay away from him.’

     And how Chiaki knows that Misu is slowly opening his hearts to possibilities that he’s actually in the state of jealousy. Not towards his possession but towards Shingyouji, someone Misu is actually in love with but he kept denying.

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Author's Note : So I'm back after so long of exams and stuffs, I'm sorry if this is not a great update but I hope you'll enjoy them.

Thank you for reading and commenting~

Opinion and critics are highly appreciated ^^

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