I'm sorry, but it needed to be done... I hope you will forgive me :)

Also, if you don't know that song, shame on you! But I'll put the meaning and link at the end of the chapter, take a look, you won't regret

The sun was shining and although it was still cold, you could feel the soon coming spring. The streets were busy and people were in the hurry again. New start had been welcomed and it was time to get used to the new relentless pace.

I watched the mass of people hurrying to where-ever they had to go. I bet I stood out with the guitar case on my back and slow strides. Despite my lazy step, I actually felt more nervous than probably anyone else on the whole street. And no surprise, I was heading to Key's place.

By his place I mean the coffee shop, of course. Although we had pretty good relationship, I had never even been to his home. I guess that was just another thing about Key. And these things I could name endlessly.

After these few months I was finally confident enough to consider myself as his friend. I guess it was complicated.

Within this time we had grown pretty close, much to my own initiation of course. I had figured out that at school he actually had lots of friends. That came as a surprise to me, with his personality and all... But I guess Key was a lot of things.

Also I had discovered that Key was one hell of a party animal. And please no more comment about that.

But more important than anything else, he actually had a soft heart and caring personality. A smile formed on my face on the memory of the sweet way I had first discovered it.

But only thing that was shadowing my happiness was the fact that I wasn't sure about his feelings toward me. We acted like friends and he never gave me any reason to hope for anything more.

But my feelings hadn't changed one bit. Whenever I touched him, he never answered nor pushed me away. I didn't know what to think anymore. My heart was full of hope but in my mind I was trying to stay realistic.

A nervous smile found its way on my lips as I thought of what I was going to do. I couldn't believe I was finally going to do it, I was going to confess to him.

I had thought over it so many times, I had considered all the pros and cons and I thought I was finally able to do it. I had to.

I saw the coffee shop and the last doubts ran through my mind. There was always the possibility that he didn't even like me. It all would mean that he was gay. And I knew the troubles that came with the fact well enough.

But there was no other option, I had to do it. I just couldn't keep up this faking. I couldn't bear doubting in everything.

I reached the door and stepped in, eyes automatically searching for Key behind the counter. He put away his phone and happiness filled my heart as a smile formed on his lips.

I looked around the coffee shop and noted only two people, that were now standing up and fixing their coats, soon heading to the door. And simply as that, we were alone. Not wasting any time, because maybe then I wouldn't have the guts to do it anymore, I made my way to the counter.

I sat and begun tuning my guitar, Key already making my coffee. Then he placed the cup in front of me, like he always did. I suddenly got the thought that there might not be another time, but I shrugged it off.

He opened his mouth to ask me something, but I interrupted him, afraid of losing the courage. My heart was apparently trying to break through my chest with how much force it seemed to be pumping with.

“I wrote a song for you. Only for you.” He raised his eyebrow, but I just took a deep breath and started.

~

Hyeya*, sorry is what I want to say
I don't want to wait any longer

~

Hyeya, you told me before didn't you
You only love me as a good friend
And remain beside me forever as a best friend
Don't say those words to me ever again

~

I'll be standing from far away
I'm begging you like this

~

Please don't leave me
Don't abandon me

~

What should I do
Without you in my life?

~

Oh, Please...
Don't go, Hyeya

Don't go...

~

When the last words had left my lips, I felt the trance disappearing, leaving me unshielded and more vulnerable than ever. My breathing was quickening and I felt like fainting, unable to lift my eyes to meet Key.

It was the moment. I had told him all that I felt. And now the fear of finding out what he thought was taking over my mind. I had ruined it. I shouldn't have done it. But I couldn't turn back time.

After some moments of silence, I finally gathered enough courage to turn my head, slowly adverting my gaze to Key. And I'm sure my heart stopped for at least two beats at what I saw.

Key's eyes were filled with tears and I could see wet stripes on his cheeks. When meeting my eyes, he quickly raised his palm and wiped the tears, but then gave up and hid his eyes instead.

I didn't know what to think of this situation. It was so strange, so unreal. And I had never seen Key cry before. To say it was little alarming was such an understatement. But at least he hadn't slapped me yet.

I felt hope filling my chest. I put the guitar safely away, slowly standing and reaching over the counter, touching Key's hands that were covering his face, making him wince.

“I like you, Key, and I can't change it. Please, tell me now. Do you... feel the same? Please... if you don't, I won't bother you not once anymore. Please, just tell me.”

I didn't even really process all that I was saying that moment. It actually felt like all my emotions, that were kept behind the dam, had finally broken free and were now pouring out of me, incessantly and unstoppable.

I intertwined my fingers with his and slowly lifted them from his face, my heart constricting when seeing his drenched cheeks. I let his hands go and then intertwined our fingers properly, bringing his knuckles to my lips, kissing them and watching him straight in the eye.

“I'm in love with you, please say you feel it too.” My voice had grown desperate and begging, my heart beating harder then ever.

“Jjong... I-I don't... I don't know... please.” I felt a little part of me dying as he pulled his hands away and turned his head to avoid my gaze. With every second, it was getting harder and harder to breathe, my eyes stinging on their own accord.

“K-key, Key... Please, don't do this. Look at me, look...” My confidence was disappearing, leaving me shivering and afraid. After a deep breath Key turned back at me and his eyes were so pained that I felt like he would've been rejected, not me.

“I'm sorry. I'm really sorry but I'm not gay, Jjong. I can't be. I'm sorry but no.”

“But you like me too, don't you?” I asked, feeling the sense of reality vanishing.

“I-I... Don't do it, Jjong. St-stop, please.” Key's voice was breaking with how the tears were still running.

“You like me, Key. I know you do. Please, say it, for me. Say it.” I lifted my hand and wiped the tears. When that didn't help, I leaned closer, kissing the tears away, moving until I felt his tender lips against mines.

The kiss was soft, barely there. Salty from tears. Bittersweet.

My hands rested on his cheeks but he made no move to back away when I pulled him slightly closer. His lips melded against mines, making me forget everything and all.

Way too soon Key pulled away and pushed me back, not hard but just enough for me to get the message. And it hurt. So much.

“I can't be gay. Please leave, I don't want to see you again.”

His voice was shaky and he didn't lift his eyes to look at me, keeping them safely on the floor. I felt like on autopilot as I packed my guitar and made my way to the door, stepping out into the rain.

There was nothing left of the sun just half an hour ago, both in the sky as well as in me. There was only rain, hiding the tears that rolled down my cheeks. Gray, heavy, cold rain.

Again, sorry!

This song is absolutely amazing, if you havent, please check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0WZd_d6AKU

*Hyeya - the korean word doesn't really have any direct translation, but basically it means that Jjong sings about someone very specific.