AUTHOR'S NOTE: HEY THERE NEW SUBBIES! Yes I did see your comments :'D Thank you soo much for your support, I really do want to complete this fanfic unlike my RIP fanfic of myungeun. I just really wanna hurry to the magical part haha, "You're mine" who really did say that???? :)) Well lets play that guessing game, I hope I can finish this fanfic as planned, because right now in my mind, this would at least last for 20 chaps? Its kind of dramatic/long... so I hope before I start schooling again.../prays/  That this fanfic would be completed by then. 

It’s been a few days since I woke up. I still remembered the unfamiliar voice echoing in my head as he touched my face without my consent. Of course I didn’t have the guts to open my eyes and see whom the criminal was, because I wouldn’t know what to say when he said,

“You’re mine”

Since when did I become someone else’s property? Aside from all this drama, I had to lie on this “too-comfy-for-comfort” bed. Now I feel like I’ve sunken into the mattress. Someone could literally pour water inside and it would still hold, or maybe bake a cake inside of it and a life size version of me would appear. Then someone could literally eat me. Just joking.

One of the nurses came and checked on my blood pressure and on my breathing like she had years of experience, swiftly replacing my IV bag which was hanging on a metal pole with a new one. I’ve been swallowing bland porridge these few days, and I’ve grown tired of it. I really do crave some chocolate now…

“You’re doing great so far,” she says to me while she looked at her paperwork, “I’m sure you’ll be out of bed…by next week?”

I hope so.

It has been really lonely so far, everyday felt like yesterday. I only ate, slept, and . The only faces I see are those nurses, the one that entertained me just now had really nice braids, the other one who had a really big mole on her chin, and the male nurse who looks too gay to actually function. Me staying here made me realize the little things in life, how I flopped my stay in Woollim as I get admitted to the emergency room on my 1^st day of lessons. And then I remembered L, whose worried face I can’t eliminate from my mind before I blanked out… and had a heart attack.

As I reflected on myself, the door to my room opened.

“Hoya?...” I didn’t see him coming

He grabbed the nearest chair and placed it near my bed, “Hey…” he was carrying a bouquet of flowers, “I hope you like flowers” he then sat down.

“Haha… thanks” I smiled awkwardly at him. He placed the flowers on the table next to me. For the following minutes, it was really silent. We were exchanging glances, I didn’t know what to say, neither did he.

“Well, I didn’t know you had a heart problem” he says.

“Neither did I” I shrugged.

Hoya placed his right hand over his chest, and then sighed “I had a heart attack you know, because of you.” He gave me a playful smirk, but I knew he wasn’t lying. His eyes twinkled under the light, I could feel his sincerity and the thought he tried to convey to me.

“Sorry for giving you a heart attack” I joked whilst looking into his mesmerizing eyes. I couldn’t look away, its as if I was under a spell.

“Sorry for not being there, Eun Mi. I really am sorry,” his face was strained, as if he was holding back the agony all this while.

I tried to reach out to hold his hand, but then I remembered there’s an IV tube attached to my wrist. I moaned in pain as retrieved my left hand.

“Pffft! You really are a dummy,” he laughed showing his gums. That’s the first time I saw him like that. Genuinely happy. Again he flicked my forehead with his steel fingers.

“Ouch...thanks ”

Hoya and I chatted for a while. He was bad mouthing Mr Hulk and how he disliked him from the start. Mr Hulk was in charge of physical exercise and discipline in Woollim. Other than that, he has a really serious case of coffee addiction, everyone in the facility named him “Bad Coffee Breath”. Hoya confessed that he had to hold his breath whenever Mr Hulk talks to him, including the day when he got scolded for not wearing his necklace. As I listened to him talk, I was silently examining his facial features. He was actually really handsome. Today he had his bangs up. I could see that he had full eyebrows, his eyes were in a shade of dark brown, and that he had a really sharp jaw.

“Don’t you have class?” I asked.

“Class already started, half an hour ago” he said it in a matter-of-fact tone. “And I’m not planning to go, just yet.”

“How many points did you lose?” my eyebrows furrowed, stop being too generous Hoya-ssi

“Enough to buy 45 pairs of pastel blue bra?”

Wait, did he just mentioned pastel-blue-bra. Does he know? I intuitively pulled up the bed sheet till it reaches my chest.

“Go-go to class, you shouldn’t be skipping,” I stammered, my face red and flustered.

“Why should I?” he smirked. He supported his head with his right hand, which now was resting on the table next to me. He was staring right into my soul.

“Because,” I tried to think of a smart answer, ”Because”... “Because an elite should lead by example, skipping class is against the rules,” Well that wasn’t such a smart answer, I wanted to sound really sarcastic and y but I ended up sounding like one of those honorary students who gets straight A’s, who is a strong believer of world peace but is too naïve and innocent about the harsh reality.

“Yes mam, whatever you say,” he rolled his eyes. He stood up, straightening his white wife beater which was layered over his grey hoodie. He put his empty hands into the pockets of his pants, and looked at me for the last time,

“Take care of yourself, ” His lips pursed, but his eyes showed no emotions. Somehow I felt half guilty for the cause of his disappointment, but I didn’t want him to lose points because of me.

As he walks towards the door, I forced my body to sit up straight, letting out my hoarse voice say “Goodbye,” but he didn’t reply.His silhouette slowly disappeared behind the translucent glass door, he was already gone. I was lonely, again. I collapsed on the bed again, my head sunked into the cotton pillow. The white ceiling was once again my usual view. Great, now I need to go to the loo.

I pressed on the button on the tablet, which lied on my bed. It had a picture of cubicle descriptively designed on it. A few minutes later I was casted away in my own Cinderella carriage, just that I wasn’t a princess, I was a sick and weak patient. I told the nurse to wait outside as I entered the “private-toilet-especially-made-for-the-handicapped”. I held on the railings tightly as I dragged my legs to the cubicle. Well I don’t have to describe to you what happened there, so after I did my business I washed my hands under cold water, and with soap of course. I stared into my own reflection. The girl in front of me had a really bad case of frizzy hair, her lips were chapped and dry. She didn’t look beautiful. She looked like a perfect disaster. She ed her shirt, empathizing on the scar that’s left on her chest. It’s stitched perfectly, but she didn’t like it. Now the statement “imperfections don’t make one ugly” backfired on her. She didn’t know what came over her, but she broke down. She covered so that no one could hear her. Tears streamed down her cheeks recklessly. She could have died, she thought. She remembered how scary it was to be engulfed in sudden darkness, and the chances of never seeing the world again. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down, she looked at her scar again. It was going to haunt her forever, it reminded her that she was weak, it reminded her that if she took one wrong step, it might be over for her. Lastly, it reminded her that she was going to be a burden for others.

I hastily buttoned my shirt, grabbed the tissue next to sink and blew into it. I splashed cold water onto my bare face to erase the traces of tears. My eyes were no longer reddened in tears, but they were still swollen.

Once again I was back in my room. I thanked the nurse and told her to extend my bed to a smaller angle because my back ached from lying down all day. My side table was no longer barren, it had flowers, chocolate bar and a few notes beside it. I read through the notes, which were neatly written and doodled with cute drawings. I missed a lot of things didn’t I? I sighed as I flipped through the pages which were full in content. How am I supposed to catch up?

“Aish, you know what? Let me just consume the chocolate bar-“

I grabbed the chocolate bar which had  cursive fonts in front of it, ‘70% Cocoa’ it stated, I tore the packaging and a small note fell from the back of it. It was a yellow neon sticky note which had slanted handwritings.

I picked it up, and the corners of my lips instantly rose.

“Just in case you need reminding. You are beautiful.”

I pasted the sticky note on the wall behind my bed, twisting my stiff body as a result to it. Whenever I doubted myself, I would look back. So that I’ll remind myself, that all I needed was a little bit of self esteem.