That evening was fun. Most of the time, Kibum and Jinki talked rather than study. For once, Jinki didn't finish his work since someone was there distract him.

When was the last time that happened? Jinki thought, sitting at his desk finishing the work he never completed.

Jinki thought back to the last time he even had a true friend. Not just any friend, more like a best friend. A friend that you can talk to about everything and hang out on a regular basis. After thinking for a moment, Jinki wasn't too pleased with what he thought after trying to gather information.

Never.

All of a sudden the reality hit Jinki hard, and all these unpleasant thoughts came rushing in. Jinki didn't know how something can make him reach his breaking point in under a second. He lost all inspiration to continue his work and put everything away. He immediately crawled into bed and hid under the covers.

Can I just die right here right now?

Jinki has never told anyone why he was so upset, mainly because he doesn't have anyone to tell anything to. Eventually, holding everything inside became too much that he doesn't want to live anymore. But now, it's has become much worse. Not wanting to live is one thing, now thinking about dying nearly daily is something different. Finally, it came to the point where Jinki just had enough. It's a start of a new school year. Working hard to earn a double degree has become too much and too stressful. Depression and stress just doesn't go well together. Yesterday, the day before the first day of school, Jinki made a final decision. If this whole week doesn't go well, he will end his life. Right at this moment, that decision is still very true.

Jinki doesn't even understand how this depression started in the first place. Is it because he's lonely? Is it because he's tired? Or is it just simply because he's done with everything? If he doesn't know, how can anyone know? He doesn't even remember the last time something good happened. All he remembers is that one day, he was very upset with himself and finally broke down.

It's been about a year or two now. Nothing has changed.

It's funny though, Jinki would have never thought that his life would end up this way. He had a great life as a kid. He was quiet and kept to himself, but he still had a good life. The same happened throughout middle school and high school. But after a few weeks into his first year in university, he just fell apart. It's almost like it came from no where. Or maybe he has always been this upset but could hold it in until just then. As said, he doesn't know.

Something has to keep me going. Please. Jinki thought.

Then he thought about what happened earlier this evening. Talking with Kibum. Jinki never thought he would ever actually talk to him. Just simply seeing him was like a blessing. Jinki started freaking out and came out of the covers. Lee Jinki, what are you thinking?! Kibum is not even a friend...or is he? Kibum is a nice and interesting person judging from the conversation they had. He even saw through Jinki and wanted to help. Jinki really liked the idea but the thing is he's scared. He's scared to get close to people in fear of them leaving. But there is something about Kibum...something that shows that he can trust him. But can he trust Kibum with his life is the real question. Can Kibum handle everything that Jinki is going through? It's a scary thought to become friends with someone then watch them leave if they had enough with a person's depression. But Kibum wouldn't do that, right? To be completely honest, if Kibum wasn't there to distract him, Jinki would be in a much bigger mess right now. During their little conversation, he was more into their conversation than thinking about what could happen by the end of the week. It wasn't completely out of the equation, but it was barely even thought about.

Maybe...maybe I can give Kibum a chance...Jinki thought. Should I try a little harder for a bit longer?

Jinki wants to be friends with Kibum. He wants to trust Kibum. Maybe, just maybe Kibum could be the reason he will still be here. Honestly, if Kibum is the reason Jinki is still alive next week, it would be a miracle, a blessing. But right now, nothing is set in stone. The friendship has to happen first. Wouldn't it be great if Kibum becomes Jinki's first best friend? But he is not getting his hopes up. Just a friend would be good enough.

Fighting! Jinki whispered to himself before finally going to bed for the night, hoping that tomorrow, or sometime this week, things will change for the better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

Hello~

I should have warned that this chapter would be a bit angsty. >.< Sorry. :(

Sigh...it hurts to write about Jinki being depressed...but hopefully Kibum will come around to make everything better! ♥