Hating Kwon Jiyong: Truth and Lies (Part II)


Seunghyun:

“Dong Youngbae, open that mothereffin door!” It’s almost 10 PM and here I am, still frustrated over this damned tie I couldn’t seem to fix. And then as if to fully distract me from doing it properly, I had to hear someone knocking outside our door. Frantically, loudly and shiet. What is up with the world tonight. People shouldn’t be minding other people tonight because it’s valentine’s Day, really! 

BAM! BAM! BAM!

“Dong Youngbae, goddammit!” I yelled, pissed. “Open that freakin door!”

I heard a soft thump from where he was before he finally showed himself, obviously annoyed as well. “I’m coming! Dude you’re less than a meter from the door, you could have opened it yourself!”

I made tie gestures at him. “Are you blind? I’m having personal troubles here. Open the door!”

Youngbae scoffed in return. “What is up with that double-o-seven look anyway.” He walked past me and opened the door a bit forcefully and gasped. I just had to look over the door to see what his gasp was all about.

And hell I gasped too when I saw Dara sobbing by the door. She looked really, really…bad. Like you could see her make-up all messed up, her hair dishevelled -- the works. 

She was mad crying, too. More like weeping and wailing. 

Youngbae just stood there, speechless. Throwing that damned tie away, I ran over to her and let her in. 

Youngbae seemed to only have gotten to his senses when he heard the door shut. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, half bothered but for the most part concerned.

“I…We…Jiyong…Jiyong…”

Youngbae and I looked at each other for a second, alarmed. Both of us opened are mouths at the same time and asked:

“Did Jiyong got into an accident and died?!”

“Did you see him with another girl?!”

“Really, Seunghyun hyung!” Youngbae screamed, shocked with my question. “How could you think of him dying?”

“I was just wondering! Anyway, who would cry like this if they just saw their boyfriends with someone, anyway? That’s stupid!”

Dara cried louder than before. Holy Sh1t. What could we do? Dae was already out partying somewhere with his former schoolmates and probably having fun, and Seungri must be having that Valentine’s dinner with his parents already. Youngbae and I have dates and actually we’re running late, but how could we leave Dara like this? This is just ed up. Where the hell is Jiyong? Does he know that Dara is crying like mad in our dorm, like, right now?

Youngbae was gently patting Dara’s shoulders, trying to calm her down. “Ssh. It’s gonna be alright. Would you like something to drink? Why don’t you sit down for a while? Take a few deep breaths and then let’s try to talk things out later.”

Dara sat down, but was still sobbing hard. Youngbae looked at me for help.

“Dara,” I aked her, softly and gently as I could. “What happened?”

She took a deep breath but her tears continued flowing down her face. “Jiyong found out. That I hated him before and that I did wish that—“

Youngbae’s forehead creased with confusion the moment he heard the words ‘found out’, ‘hate’and ‘Jiyong’. 

Suddenly everything became clear.

Jiyong found out. And judging from Dara’s hard sobs, he didn’t take it lightly. I felt like a ton of bricks was hitting my head right at this moment for I suddenly remembered Jiyong’s call hours ago. How could I not spider-sense this? His voice sounded different already when he was asking me about this. Was I that too preoccupied?

“Youngbae,” I called him, my voiced tensing a little. “You could go. I’ll follow you there. Or maybe not. Just apologize in behalf of me, okay? I’ll stay with her here.”

“What?”

“I’ll stay here. With Dara. Just tell them that I’m so sorry, something happened all of a sudden.”

He looked at me and then at Dara. He was confused, but he didn’t force me to give further details about this. 

He nodded at me and gave Dara one last worried look before going back to his room one last time. 

I sat beside Dara, who was still sobbing uncontrollably. “Relax, okay? We’ll work things out.”

“I-it c-c-can’t be f-f-ixed anymore-e-e,” Dara replied, crying more than ever. “I-it’s o-o-ov-v-er,”

“It’s not,” I tried to move a few stray hairs away from her face before wiping away some of her tears using the 
back of my hand. “Both of you are just going through some crazy things now, but it’s going to be ok. Trust me.”

“What if it doesn’t?” 

I looked at her tear-stricken face, uncertain of how I’ll answer her question. I can’t give assurances like this. If I could, I’d definitely do it in a heartbeat. 

“Dara…”

“Hyung?” I looked up to see Youngbae standing by the door, about to leave the dorm. “Is she going to be alright?”

“I’m not sure,” I mouthed at him. “I’ll tell you later.”

“Ok.” With one last worried look at Dara, Youngbae left the place without saying a word.
After he left, I focused all my attention to Dara and her problem. “Ok,” I said, sighing a little for I felt that this was going to be a long night. “Tell me what happened.”

Dara:

Seunghyun looked into my eyes intently, more serious than ever. How could I tell him that I was once an anti-fan of Jiyong? How could I tell him that I initially wanted to destroy his friend’s life without having any reason behind it? How could I even explain the things I said earlier? I was still overcome with emotions and frankly I don’t think I could say everything to him. I wish I could go to Ji Eun’s place, but she’s having problems, too. And anyway, I can’t say this to her. I’m not that mad to tell her that I’ve loved him since who knows when instead of the other way around.

“Dara?”

I sniffed and tried to stop my tears from falling, but I couldn’t. “I…I…I…t-think I-I should just leave.”

“Now?” Seunghyun frowned. “I don’t want to be harsh but I cancelled my date for this.”

“I just c-can’t say it,” I wailed, my sobs increasing by the minute. “I-I just-t-t wanted t-to c-cry,”
Seunghyun looked uncertain for a minute. What he said next, I didn’t know, but all I know is that for the following seconds after that, I found myself caught in the weirdest, lamest attempt of a bear hug ever, courtesy of Seunghyun and his awkward (albeit strong and very comforting) arms. I’m still a few inches away from him, and it made the hug look weirder. I moved closer to him and allowed my pathetic self to cry on his chest.

“Cry then,” He said softly, while he tried to entangle some strands of my hair. “Cry for as long as you like.”

“I’m so sorry,” I replied, my voice muffled from sobbing and from the way I was resting my head on him. “I’m so sorry,”

“, you should be.” I could hear him laughing a little, trying to ease the tension between us. “First for hurting Jiyong, and second for making me feel and look gay. I never did this sh1t in my entire life.”

--------------

I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. Wouldn’t you know, Seunghyun was just hugging me all the while, trying to calm me at some points, making funny comments, saying that it will be okay. He can be such a jerk sometimes, but I never knew that he had this gentle side. His past girlfriends must be really lucky.

“Eew Dara. I hate b1tching around when there’s a girl crying in front of me, but you sure left a pretty disgusting trail on my shirt.” He looked down on his polo shirt and made a face. “It’s a combination of tears, sweat, drool…this might not sound proper, but I could see that you also didn’t hesitate on leaving some snot on it. Just ugh.”

I sniffed, ignoring his annoying comment. “I’m sorry.” Maybe those girls aren’t so lucky after all. 

He rolled his eyes. “I know. I’m sorry, too.” His voice softened a little. “tough night, huh?”

“the toughest,” I replied back at him, and I could feel myself tearing up once again. “but I think I deserved it…”

“Maybe,” he replied seriously. “No, I think you do.”

“Which side are you on, really?”

Seunghyun smiled and took my hands in him. “I’m on Dara-and-Jiyong-deserves-to-be-happy side. You know, I’ve been always cheering for the both of you ever since day one.”

I must have given him a look of disbelief that he had to hold my hands tighter and continued, “But it’s true. I initially felt that there’s some psycho b1tch living inside you, but you are a pretty good person nonetheless. Jiyong wouldn’t have fallen for you like that if you weren’t.” 

Psycho b1tch? I looked at him more confused than ever. Was I that obvious?

“Not really,” Seunghyun said softly, obviously reading my mind. “It’s just that I had that weird feeling the moment you came here. Like the way you look at him, the way you’d try to steal glances at him. If I didn’t get that vibe I would have thought that you were just one of those lovestruck fans who got lucky to get accepted here. Well, you are lucky in a way. And well, you did fall in love with him eventually.”

Tears streamed once again on my face, but I just had to change the topic. “Did you ever wish that I’d fallen for you instead?”

He paused, eyes bulging a little. He immediately pushed my hands away from him. “Excuse me?”

I sniffed. “Nah, I was just joking.”

“Oh, cripes,” He muttered to himself, “See what I’m talking about? You do have than insanity within you. And for the record, ew no.”

I glared at him for the first time since we saw each other tonight. “Well okay, I wouldn’t have fallen for you that way, just so you’d know.”

I glared at him for one more minute before I started laughing almost hysterically. Seunghyun, on the other hand, looked more disturbed than ever. I finally stopped laughing out loud when I saw him inching away from me.

“Hold it,” I said quietly, trying to grab the sleeve of his shirt. “Just stay here.”
“
I’m staying, I’m staying,” He replied hastily. “Just let me have a few inches of space between us.” I did let him do what he wanted and he moved at the other side of the sofa the quickest way he could. 

But I knew him long enough to know that he’s half-kidding. Half, because I knew that my case was indeed, disturbing. I didn’t know how much Seunghyun knew about this yet, and if ever I’d get the chance to tell him everything, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d force me to just get out of their dorm and just get out of their lives completely.

“When should I start…” My words couldn’t seem to find its way out of my mouth. Telling the truth never did become easy. I doubt that there were antis out there who managed to come this close to their objects of intense loathing like I did. Looking at Seunghyun’s sympathetic but at the same time expectant face made things harder. When should I start?

“You could start explaining to me the contents of the black notebook.”

I gasped. Seunghyun just blinked at my reaction.

He knew?


-End of Part II-