A/N: This is definitely different from the others. I tried to write a sadder fic and personally i think i failed so yeah this is supposed to be an angsty(ish) fic

 

Kray- Tao Dance with My Father

Tao was 3 years old when he first heard about death. At first he didn’t understand what his daddy meant when he said his papa was gone. He kept asking where he was or when he was coming back.

 

Yixing sat down, pulling the small 3 year old in his lap while Luhan and Chen sat on the couch opposite them. Tao blinked up at his dad, “Where’s baba?”

Yixing smiled sadly down at his son, “Baba’s gone, baby.”

Tao’s little eyebrows furrowed, “Where’d he go? When is he coming home?”

Yixing shook his head, forcing his tears to not fall, “Baba’s gone forever, sweetie.”

Tao’s frown deepened, “Phone?” His hand came up to his ear, the pinky and thumb out in the gesture his father always made when he had to go on trips.

A tear slid down Yixing’s face. Tao quickly reached up and wiped it away, “Papa don’t cry. Baba said to never cry. He doesn’t like it!”

Yixing couldn’t help it, more tears slipped out and slowly a stream made its way down his face.

He remembered all the times Kris would carefully wipe Tao’s tears and say, “Don’t cry. Baba doesn’t like when Taozi cries. It makes Baba really sad.”

Tao continued wiping at his papa’s face, confused about why no matter how much he wiped, the wetter it got. He huffed before leaning up and pecking his papa on the nose, something he’d seen his baba do all the time to get his papa to smile.

That was the final straw and Yixing broke down, his arms wrapping around Tao’s middle and hugging the toddler to his chest.

Luhan and Chen quickly walked around the coffee table and sat on each side of the weeping man, wrapping their arms around him and slightly rocking him.

Tao didn’t know why his papa was holding him so tightly but he knew that he must be really upset so the tiny 3 year old wriggled his arms out of the tight hug and wrapped them around his papa’s neck, squeezing not too tightly so he wouldn’t choke his sad daddy.

Yixing sobbed into Tao’s shoulder, trying and failing to calm himself down. He didn’t know when he fell asleep but he must’ve been out for hours because when he woke up, it was dark outside opposed to the bright midday sun that had been streaming through the huge windows when they first sat Tao down.

There was a note on the coffee table. Yixing snatched it.

Yixing,

We took Tao for some ice-cream at the shop. We’ll try to explain it to him so you won’t have to. We should be back around 7. Rest well.

Luhan and Chen

Yixing sighed, thankful Luhan and Chen offered to spend the day with him so he could explain. He was sure if he had to do it alone, he would have never even gotten a word out.

The front door opened and Yixing looked to his left to see Luhan and Chen escorting a quiet Tao into the house. Tao looked up and quickly released his uncles’ hands, running to his papa and jumping in his arms.

Tao openly sobbed into Yixing’s chest while Yixing his back soothingly, not knowing that more tears had started to fall from his own eyes.

Luhan and Chen quietly said their goodbyes and exited the house, wanting to give the grieving father and son their privacy.

Tao cried himself to sleep in his father’s arms, his grip on his dad’s shirt loosening only a little in his sleep. Yixing carefully wiped his own tears before standing up and carrying his son upstairs.

Instead of taking the boy to his own room, Yixing walked into his own bedroom and carefully laid his son down in the middle of the bed after pulling the covers down. He pulled the blanket over the boy and watched him for a few minutes before turning to get ready for bed.

When Yixing slipped in the bed a few minutes later, the toddler quickly turned over and wriggled into his chest, clutching onto his shirt and nuzzling his face into his papa’s chest. Yixing chuckled sadly as he wrapped his arms around his son and held him close as he drifted off to sleep.

Yixing’s dream consisted of only memories of his lover and their son. The first memory was when Tao had first started crawling and tried to help Kris cook dinner.

Yixing and Kris had been sitting in the den, Kris watching TV while Yixing read a book with his feet resting in Kris’ lap. They could hear their little baby crawling around the house, giggling. Yixing listened as his son made his way from the living room to the kitchen then to the dining room. After a few minutes of listening to Tao babble as he crawled around the dining room, Yixing could hear his gurgling baby make his way into the den.

Tao crawled over to the couch and raised his arms, wanting to be lifted up and cuddled.

Yixing leaned over the edge of the couch and scooped the baby up before carefully sitting him in his lap and holding him tightly. Tao made himself comfortable, leaning back against Yixing’s chest, curling slightly sideways. A yawn forced its way out of the baby’s mouth and he soon fell asleep.

Kris looked to his left and saw that both his other half and their son had fallen asleep. He slowly stood up and adjusted Yixing so there was enough room for Kris to sit behind him. When Kris was seated behind Yixing, Yixing leaning into his chest, his head resting softly against the side of Kris’ face, Kris held his arm out adjusting his phone to take a picture of the family of 3.

He later told Yixing that he took multiple pictures of Tao by himself as well as with Yixing, but he only took one picture of the 3 of them. In the picture, Tao was curled almost fully into Yixing and Yixing was snuggled into Kris’ chest, his head resting on Kris’ shoulder. Kris was pressing a soft kiss to Yixing’s cheek with his eyes closed.

Kris would brag about it to his husband, claiming it to be his favorite picture. He had even set it as his phone’s background. 30 minutes later, Yixing was woken by wriggling. He cracked his eyes open to see Tao turning around and looking at Kris.

Yixing heard Kris huff, and stifled a giggle. He knew what Kris was thinking, Tao was a spoiled baby. Kris carefully slid out from behind Yixing and picked up the wanting baby, swinging him into his arms and spinning them around in circles.

Yixing continued to feign sleep and watched through slit eyes as his lover and son laughed as Kris spun them into the kitchen to fix his family dinner. Yixing quietly sat up and snuck over to the kitchen doorway to spy on his family. He watched as Kris sat Tao down on the counter and held his finger out, staring at the toddler firmly, “Stay.”

Tao’s wide eyes blinked and he nodded. Kris smiled and kissed his forehead before turning around to peek in the fridge. He heard giggling so he turned around, just missing the wiggling Tao who was now staring at him innocently.

Kris narrowed his eyes, “Sta-ay.”

Tao giggled and nodded again. Kris watched him for a second before turning back around. He peeked over his shoulder to see Tao watching him.

Kris began pulling ingredients out from the fridge and cabinets, planning to roast chicken and make a few vegetable side dishes. While he was pulling spices out of the cabinets, he felt a tiny hand grab his pants leg.

Kris looked down to see a giggling Tao clutching his pants leg and staring up at him.

Yixing continued watching from his hiding spot, using his hand to muffle his own giggles.

Kris gasped, grabbing Tao and holding him tightly to his chest, “I told you to stay! You could’ve fallen and hurt yourself and Baba would’ve been so sad!”

Tao continued to look at his baba with wide eyes. Yixing quietly snorted, Tao was very good at acting innocent. 

Kris finally calmed down and set the toddler back on the floor, Tao took up his post again, grabbing 2 handfuls of his baba’s pants and trying to wrap his little legs around the huge leg.

Kris laughed and picked his son back up, “Do you want to help baba cook?”

Tao nodded and soon Kris was trying to prepare a meal with a 2 year old in his arms.

Yixing couldn’t hide his laugh as he watched Kris try to season the chicken with one hand while his other arm held a wriggling Tao. That baby never did like staying still.

Kris turned to the doorway, “How long have you been watching us, you creep?”

Yixing laughed softly as he made his way over to grab Tao.

“Ever since Tao woke up,” He said as he swung Tao onto his hip with the practiced ease that only comes with being around spoiled children. Yixing poked Tao’s nose, smiling when Tao’s little finger made its way into Yixing’s dimple.

Kris rolled his eyes, “Of course I’d fall in love with a weirdo who loves watching people.”

“Hey! At least I don’t take pictures of people while they’re sleeping!”

Kris gasped, turning back to Yixing, “How’d you know?!”

Yixing laughed, “Your phone doesn’t have the quietest shutter sound.”

Kris huffed as he turned back around to the chicken. He poked it, “At least you won’t get mad if I take pictures of you, right?”

Yixing laughed again and walked forward, pecking Kris on the cheek before whirling away with Tao.

The next memory was of Tao’s first words.

 They had been trying to get the little baby to talk for a few weeks now. His babbling had gotten annoying and Baekhyun, a friend that worked in a daycare had informed them that the incessant babbling was a sign that Tao was going to say his first words soon. Ever since they’d learned that, they’d been trying to get him to say ‘papa.’

Yixing had come home to see Kris laying in the middle of the floor in the living room with Tao lying on top of his chest. They were doing nothing but staring at each other.

When Yixing closed the door, both man and baby quickly turned their heads to look at him. Kris quickly sat up and carefully set Tao down on his hands and knees so he could crawl to his other dad.

Yixing quickly walked forward and knelt down with his arms open as Tao crawled as fast as his little legs could carry him over the soft carpet. When he made it to Yixing, he collapsed into his chest and closed his eyes, his thumb automatically making its way to his mouth.

Yixing and Kris stood up, Yixing holding a nodding-off Tao.

Kris walked over and kissed him softly on the lips, “Hey babe. Takeout for dinner. Thai tonight.”

Yixing nodded, he was glad he didn’t have to cook and they hadn’t had Thai in a while.

Tao leaned up and tried to kiss Yixing on the cheek like he saw his baba do. Yixing laughed as his cheek was slobbered on by a giggling Tao.

Tao pulled away, looking quite smug for a baby.

“Baba.”

Both Kris and Yixing froze. Did he just-?

They quicky turned to look at the calm baby.

Kris gently grabbed Tao’s shoulders, “Baby, say it again. Say it one more time for baba.”

Tao watched his parents, a little confused.

“….baba?”

Yixing began shouting and spinning around with Tao in his arms, “Yes! He finally said my name! Taozi you are just the most amazing little baby in the world! Aren’t you?”

Kris scoffed, “What are you talking about? I’m baba.”

Yixing stopped in his tracks to narrow his eyes at Kris.

Tao looked at Kris then turned his head to see Yixing glaring at Kris. He pressed another sloppy kiss to Yixing’s cheek and giggled out, “Baba.”

Yixing’s glare melted into a grin and he beamed at Kris, “See! He clearly called me baba!”

Kris slumped to the floor, pouting as he leaned back against the couch. He pulled his knees up and rested his elbows on them, his head in his hands. How unfair.

Tao wiggled until Yixing set him down. He crawled over to Kris, right between his legs and used Kris’ shirt to pull himself upright on his knees. Kris pulled his head out of his hands to stare at his baby. He poked Tao’s nose, still pouting, “Meanie.”

Tao giggled and pressed a sloppy kiss to Kris’ cheek, “Baba!”

Kris grinned up at a pouting Yixing, his face clearly showing his ‘in-your-face’ expression.

Yixing stomped his foot childishly, “No fair. You cheated.”

Kris smiled before turning Tao around to face Yixing. He pointed at him, “Taozi, who’s that?”

Tao grinned, “Baba!”

Kris turned Tao back around, pointing at himself, “Taozi, who am I?”

Tao shouted again, “Baba!”

Both Kris and Yixing smiled, they would just have to share the nickname for now.

A few days later, Tao was getting his diaper changed when he randomly shouted, “Dada!”

So Kris became Baba and Yixing became Dada after 10 rounds of rock-paper-scissors.

 

Kyungsoo and Jongin let themselves into Yixing’s house, and Kyungsoo first set down all his groceries before leading Jongin up the stairs to Yixing’s bedroom. Tao was awake and playing with his daddy’s fingers when he heard the door open. When he saw Jongin’s face peek around the door, Tao shot out of bed and launched himself at the younger boy, holding him tightly.

Jongin hugged him back just as fiercely, remembering when he lost his own daddy. Kyungsoo led the still-hugging boys out of the room after writing a little note and sticking it onto Yixing’s forehead.

When Yixing woke up, he noticed that the black mass of hair that he had been expecting to see on his chest was in fact nowhere in the bed. He quickly sat up and scanned the room.

“Tao?”

When there was no response, he shouted louder, starting to panic, “Tao?! Taozi, where are you?!”

There was noise coming from downstairs. Yixing quickly hopped out of bed and ran to the door. He flew down the hallway and down the stairs, only to see Tao playing with Kyungsoo and his son Jongin.

Yixing slumped a little relieved but still upset, “Why didn’t you wake me?! Or at least leave a note somewhere!?!”

Kyungsoo’s lips twitched a little, “We did.”

“Where?!”

Kyungsoo pointed at his own forehead and Yixing finally noticed a slight pressure on his forehead. He ripped the sticky-note from his face and read it.

Hi Xingie, I let myself and Jongin in. I’ll make breakfast. Tao’s down here with us.

-Kyungie

Yixing smiled sheepishly, “I’m sorry, Soo.”

Kyungsoo shook his head, smiling, “It’s no problem. This actually feels a little like déjà vu doesn’t it?”

Yixing thought back to when Kyungsoo lost his own husband, Moonkyu.

 

 

Yixing had taken Tao over to keep little Jongin busy while Yixing had fixed enough food for the depressed Kyungsoo to last a while.

Kyungsoo had had a mental breakdown on the stairs because he didn’t realize his son was actually a few feet away in the living room and not being tortured. Yixing had held him and rocked him back to sleep and made Kyungsoo nap on the couch in the living room where Yixing could keep an eye on him from the kitchen.

 

Yixing shook his head and made his way over to the playing trio. Tao stood up and walked over to give his papa a hug before grabbing his hand and dragging him over to Kyungsoo and Jongin.

Jongin was a few months younger than Tao and looked up to the older baby for everything. When Jongin’s dad died, he clung to Tao for weeks and slept over the elder’s house for 2 weeks straight, refusing to leave.

Jongin waited until Yixing sat down then he stood up and sat in his lap, wrapping his arms around the man and burying his face in Yixing’s chest. Yixing hugged the little boy back tightly before pulling away and kissing his head, “Thank you Jonginnie. I really needed that.”

Jongin’s head nodded from its place on Yixing’s chest and he finally pulled away to sit next to the quiet Tao. Jongin wrapped an arm around Tao’s shoulder and pulled him in close for a sideways hug.

Kyungsoo scooted around and pulled Yixing in for a hug as well. He rubbed Yixing’s back soothingly, “It’ll be ok. He wouldn’t want you to be depressed. And we’re all here for you.”

Yixing nodded as fresh tears made their way to his eyes. He pulled his arms up and wrapped them around Kyungsoo’s torso, “Thank you. This must’ve been hard for you too. It’s only been a little over a year since…”

He trailed off. Yixing had been extremely close with Moonkyu, both being dancers and often spending time together making up choreography and working out. Kyungsoo had known Kris since middle school, they had a lot of classes together so it was only natural they became close best friends. It had been Chen’s idea that the 2 sets of best friends go on a blind double date and from then on the 4 had become inseparable as best friends and couples.

Kyungsoo’s hold on Yixing’s shoulders tightened, “I’ll be fine. I just think of how he’s in a much better place now. And he’s not alone.”

Yixing chuckled a little. Kris and Moonkyu were very entertaining when together. They shared the same sense of humor and both could speak many languages fluently, often cracking jokes in random languages and sharing inside jokes. Wherever they were, Kris and Moonkyu would definitely be enjoying themselves.

Yixing sighed a little as he pulled away and looked at Kyungsoo. He looked paler than usual and his eyes drooped.

“Kyungsoo, did you sleep last night?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened a little before darting away to look elsewhere. Yixing sighed, shaking his head and standing up, “Soo, you know you need to rest. Yixing down and go to sleep. I’ll get started on lunch.”

Kyungsoo quickly stood up as well, shaking his head as he followed Yixing into the kitchen, “No! I came over here to take care of you! Let me! You’re the one that needs to rest! Yixing, please!”

Yixing finally stopped, sighing as he turned around to stare at a red-faced Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo quickly walked over and steered Yixing to the couch, shoving him down, “Stay right here.”

Yixing stood up again, “I can’t sit still. Please, Soo. I’ll make lunch and you can make dinner. But for now please sleep. You know it’s not healthy for you to miss sleep.”

Kyungsoo and Yixing had a stare down, eye contact only breaking when the bathroom door closed behind Tao and Jongin.

Kyungsoo gave up and plopped down on the couch. Yixing punched his fist in the air with a grin, “Yes! Ok, just get some rest, Kyungie. You don’t want Jongin getting worried. He’s too smart to not notice.”

Kyungsoo didn’t think about that. Jongin was very observing and was very quick to ask Kyungsoo why he looked paler or sicker.

Kyungsoo nodded and laid down on the couch before reluctantly closing his eyes.

A few seconds later, Tao and Jongin walked into the living room and- as gently as a 3 year old could- wrapped Kyungsoo in a blanket.

Kyungsoo giggled and cracked an eye open as 2 sets of hands poked and prodded as the 2 kids tried to wrap Kyungsoo up like a burrito.

When Jongin noticed his appa was actually awake, he pouted, “Appaaaaa, sleeeep.”

Kyungsoo chuckled and closed his eye, pretending to fall asleep. When the 2 boys were satisfied with their work- and Kyungsoo was unable to move any limb- they continued to play with Tao’s toys on the floor near the couch. Kyungsoo drifted off to sleep to the hushed whispers of Tao and Jongin and the distant clanking of pans from the kitchen.

An hour later, there was a knock on the door and Luhan let himself and his son, Sehun into Yixing’s house.

“We’re here!”

Tao and Jongin ran to the door to hug Luhan before dragging 2 year old Sehun to play with them in the living room. Yixing walked out of the kitchen and hugged Luhan, “Hey, Kyungsoo’s in the living room.”

Luhan hugged Yixing back before pulling away, “How are you?”

Yixing gave a half shrug, “I’ll be ok. Kyungsoo got here early this morning so I forced him to sleep. I just need to stay occupied.”

Luhan nodded and walked into the living room to see Kyungsoo fast asleep on the couch with the 3 boys playing a few feet away, Tao and Jongin showing Sehun how to push trucks around and Sehun watching fascinated as the trucks seemed to move with sound effects.

Luhan walked over to fix the blanket over Kyungsoo before heading in to the kitchen to help Yixing finish up with lunch.

It was only when Luhan mentioned it, that Yixing noticed what he was doing. He had begun preparing all of Kris’ favorite foods.

Luhan wrapped his arms around his best friend as he seemingly broke down in the middle of the kitchen.

Yixing let himself be guided out of the kitchen and into the living room, where Luhan pushed him down on the couch next to Kyungsoo, knowing that Yixing needed the comfort of another person.

Kyungsoo sleepily raised the blanket enough for Yixing to slip under it and the 2 cuddled together while Luhan went back into the kitchen to assess the damage.

Luckily, Yixing had only begun chopping ingredients and thawing the meat so Luhan was able to cook an entirely different set of meals.

When Luhan had finished preparing the food, he turned off the oven and spun around only to find 3 babies sitting a few feet away from him with their backs against the cabinets, watching him.

He washed his hands and sat down in front of the 3 babies, smiling softly.

Luhan noticed that Tao’s bottom lip was wobbling so he opened his arms and motioned for Tao to hug him.

The 3 year old hurriedly crawled forward and fell into Luhan’s lap, trying not to wail loudly and make the other babies cry.

Sehun’s eyebrows furrowed as he watched Tao cry in his father’s arms. He crawled forward and wrapped his tiny arms around Tao’s waist then buried his face in Tao’s back.

Jongin also scooted forward, deciding to cuddle into Luhan’s side and let his own tears fall.

The 4 of them sat there, waiting for Tao and Jongin to stop crying.

They were later joined by Kyungsoo who scooped Jongin into his lap and helped Luhan adjust Tao and Sehun so the 2 babies were cuddling comfortably in his lap.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Sehun’s tummy growled. His little face turned red as he buried it into Luhan’s chest.

Kyungsoo chuckled, “How about we eat now?”

Tao sniffled and shook his head before standing up and walking into the living room in search of his dad.

Yixing felt a small warm body climb onto the couch so he lifted the blanket and scooted backwards so Tao could have enough room to lie down.

Tao slid under the blanket and rested his head on Yixing’s arm as he cuddled as close to his father’s chest as he could.
 

Kyungsoo and Luhan quickly fixed themselves and their children’s plates to go and headed out quietly.

Before they left, both Jongin and Sehun snuck over to the couch to say good bye.

Jongin pecked the back of Tao’s head and leaned up on his tip toes to peck Yixing’s cheek.

Sehun also pecked the back of Tao’s head but he couldn’t reach Yixing’s face so he settled for his arm.

Yixing giggled as he felt the kisses. He opened his eyes to wave good bye to his friends then closed them again, fully intent on sleeping on the couch for the night.

 

As Tao slept, he dreamed of the last time he had seen his dad.

It had been the day before yesterday. His dad had been going to some convention so Yixing and Tao had dropped him off at the airport and waited with him for the flight to be called.

Tao had been sitting in his baba’s lap and they had been playing the ‘what’s that?’ game. Kris and Yixing would point out certain things and teach Tao about them. Tao loved the game because he learned a lot from his dads.

Kris pointed at his suitcase, “Taozi, what’s that?”

Tao beamed, “A suitcase!”

Kris chuckled and pecked Tao on the forehead, “My Taozi is so smart!”

Yixing pointed at the small café a few feet away from them, “Tao, what’s that?”

Tao’s face scrunched up adorably as he concentrated, “Ummmm…..a caffee?”

Yixing smiled, “Yes baby, a café. You’re so adorable.”

Tao nodded and grinned up at his dads before yawning.

Kris held his son to his chest, “Is my baby tired?”

Tao nodded as he rubbed his eyes with his fists. He leaned into Kris’ chest and closed his eyes.

“Flight 269 to Los Angeles is now boarding.”

Tao felt himself being lifted up and placed into Yixing’s lap. He opened his eyes to see Kris standing up and grabbing his suitcase.

Yixing also stood up and switched Tao to his hip and they walked with Kris to the gate.

Kris pressed a soft kiss to Tao’s forehead, “I love you, Taozi. And I’ll see you soon, ok?”

Tao nodded and reached his arms out to give his father a hug.

When Kris pulled away from the hug, he grabbed the back of Yixing’s neck and pulled him in for a soft yet passionate kiss. They kissed for a few moments until someone cleared their throat.

Yixing pulled away blushing, “See you soon.”

Kris nodded and pecked Yixing’s lips one last time, “I love you.”

Yixing nodded, “I love you too.”

Kris finally turned around and walked to the boarding gate. Once he’d given his ticket to the flight attendant, he turned around and looked at his family again with a sad smile.

Yixing also had a sad smile but he put on a brave front for his husband and his son. He waved at Kris, his smile brightening when Kris waved back.

Tao also waved, “BYE BABA!”

Both Yixing and Kris chuckled at their cute son. Kris took a deep breath and turned around to walk through the terminal.

Tao frowned when he couldn’t see his baba anymore. He knew that his father would come back but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss him.

Tao and Yixing waited until the plane took off. Yixing took Tao to the window so they could watch the plane clearly. 

Yixing pointed at the plane as it took off, "Tao say 'bye baba'"

Tao's lower lip wobbled and he sniffled, "Bye, baba..."

 

A/N: i'm not too happy with this because i'm not to good with angsty, sad fics. sorry for the fails. and it turned out waaayyyy longer than i'd expected (4529 words) but i hope you enjoy it..??? i definitely will be working on my angsty fic-writing but i wont be posting any sad fics any time soon