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CONNECTION.

HEART-BROKEN.

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A palish carroty towel was securely wrapped around Taemin’s waist as he paced out of the bathroom. He made a beeline for his room and entered it without ado. He flicked the light switch on and closed the door. He walked to the closet, humming a random unknown tune along his way. He took out a casual navy blue shirt and black slacks and wore them unhurriedly.

He hopped onto the blanket-covered, soft, springy mattress of his bed. A relaxed happy sigh left his mouth with his eyes closed in relaxation. The preceding lengthy choreography practice was almost like a torture to SHINee, depleting a colossal amount of energy in their body. Hence, resting their bushed body and had a good night slumber were the only thing they wanted to do at that moment, excluding the youngest.

Taemin had thought about it over and over again, since the sunrise. Up till now, he was still considering his plan. It would value his precious friendship with Minho but he knew he could not contain his emotion any longer. It was hard for him.

Taemin rolled on his bed to the right side and stretched his hand into the drawer of his bedside table. He closed the drawer as he took out a small box. He sat up straight on the mattress and stared thoughtfully at the little box with a rosy red paper neatly wrapped around it. He mused over it for good minutes, thinking the possible outcomes of his plan. The upshot might come out good, or might be bad.

He was really anxious.

Ensuing to a long profound -thinking of chary and thoughtful considerations, Taemin made up his mind.

“I’m going to do it no matter what!” whispered Taemin to himself assertively.

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Taemin gave a sweep of wary look around him, cautiously turning the metal doorknob in his grip. He pushed the wooden door slowly; making sure it would not creak or produce any suspecting noise. He peeped inside the room and smiled gratefully to himself. The room was empty of a soul. Taemin turned his head around and shot a cautious looked around him in 360 degree. As he was utterly sure that the owner of the room, Minho, was not around, he took this as a scope for him to work out his plan.

He was as keen as mustard about the plan.

Secretly, he slipped into the room. His grip on the item he brought along almost slackened due to the eagerness. He let out a small sigh as he stepped further into the room. He looked at the tidy bed of Minho and shaped a surreptitious smile. He was absorbed into his own little world for a while. Upon hearing some loud noises of footsteps approaching the door of the area, Taemin was alerted. Panic unwelcomingly engulfed his mind and numbed his whole body.

It was a bad timing for him.

“Minho, wait! I want to have a quick talk with you.” Taemin heard a recognizable voice faintly from outside.

The voice brought Taemin back to his senses. He blinked hastily, digging ideas for any hideout. The panic affected his hand that was holding the cube item that he lost grip on it. It fell onto the floor with a light noise. Taemin’s eyes enlarged upon hearing the noise. He squatted on the floor and looked downwards to pick the item up. His hands were already stretched out to reach for the thing. Suddenly, he saw a good hideout.

Under the bed, would be a nice one, right?

Creaking sound hit Taemin’s eardrums, as the door was being opened. He swiftly hurtled under the bed, bringing the item with him along for safety. He peeked at the outside world from his rather dusty hideout, looking out for any trace of his attendance in the room. He sighed inwardly as he was certain that naught was left and the item was firmly in his hand again. He hid deeper into his lair despite the dusty condition.

“Come in, hyung. What do you want to talk about with me?” said Minho curiously.

“Well, don’t you think something’s fishy with Taemin lately?” replied Kibum hesitantly.

Taemin saw two pair of legs from his hideout. He knew right away that the guest of the room, other than him, was Kibum with the pink pants he was wearing. Anyhow, he distracted himself from wasting time gazing at the pinky clothe. He focused on eavesdropping on the rappers’ private talk. He knew it was wrong and even bad to nose round people’s issue but the prior mention of his name overshadowed his maturity to act morally.

“Why? Something wrong?” asked Minho interestedly; knowing that Kibum must had discovered something.

“It’s just that, okay, I’ll just talk straightly to you. Please don’t feel offended.” said Kibum.

“Well, fine. I won’t.” agreed Minho, smiling at Kibum.

“I’m not saying you’re a stupid, careless or idiotic person but can’t you see that Taemin is a lot closer to you lately?” asked Kibum, straight like arrow.

Minho’s face changed a little. He looked at Kibum with an obviously fake smile.

“Hyung, do you know? That’s kinda offensive actually.” said Minho, still holding on his bogus smile.

“I’m sorry, then.” said Kibum aloofly.

“Apology accepted.” replied Minho; the insincere smile still glued on his face.

“Hey, we’re talking about Taemin.” said Kibum, bringing back the topic.

“Well, about that. I do realize about it but it did not bother me much. I like it, anyway. It makes it easier for me to do fanservice. There’s heap of our moments lately, right?” stated Minho, smiling happily.

“Yes. But M-” Kibum’s words was cut by Minho.

“Yay, 2MIN wins! Jongkey lost! You admitted that!” shouted Minho victoriously, pumping his fist into the air in triumph.

“Stop that! I’m being serious, Minho.” said Kibum in his diva tone.

Minho immediately stopped his act and lowered his hand. Ultimately, he put back his hand by his side, abandoning his thought of shouting and pumping his fist again. The diva-like sharp look Kibum was shooting at him withdrew all of his courage to do so. He cleared his throat purposely and be serious. Kibum drew in a breath and started his serious talk.

“Taemin is seriously changing.” said Kibum, introducing the main point of their talking.

“Yes, and that’s not a big problem, hyung.” said Minho nonchalantly.

“Why did you say so?” asked Kibum, sitting on the bed.

Taemin held on a shaky breath as he heard the mattress squeaked. He breathed out slowly and tried to control his breathing. He curled his body more and hid deeper into the under of the bed, moving rather too speedily. He felt his back hit something hard and he swore it hurt his back a little. He grimaced in pain and bit his tongue to suppress any yelp of pain. The instant the twinge faded away, Taemin focused back on eavesdropping.

“He’s started smiling and cheering happily. Greeting us with a smile, he barely does that to us but he’s doing so now. Fanservice too. Usually, he scarcely agrees to do fanservice with me but now, it’s totally changed. He was the one who’s keen to do it with me. I just go with the flow since it won’t affect me much. People saying I’m having gayness? I am a gay. That won’t be a problem. And lastly, in my point of view, of course, he never ever acted his odd behaviors anymore since the day you argued with him. That’s what I’ve noticed so far. His changes are affecting neither the world nor us. It won’t matter much anymore soon, hyung. He may be deviated from his usual self but we’ll get used to his new characters soon. Nothing’s serious.” explained Minho in detail, dealing with the matter carelessly, which was serious to Kibum.

Taemin was both surprised and happy all at once. His feeling was more inclined towards happy, but the sprinkling of surprised was apparent too on his face. He was a little staggered with a statement that informed his mind about something that would make his plan became easier; Minho was gay. In a plain sentence, there might be possibilities for a good happy consequence soon. At the same time, Taemin was pleased that Minho was that perceptive of him. It showed how much Minho cared for him.

Taemin was pretty sure he had the ball at his feet.

“Wow. You’re quite observant of him, huh?” said Kibum, a suggestive smile playing on his lips.

Minho paved his way towards the bed with slow steps. With a sigh that escaped between his pinkish lips, he gladly let all of his weight landed on the mattress. The bed squeaked again, making Taemin’s heartbeats speeded up. He was more nervous when two souls were actually on top of him. It would be a great embarrassment if both the rappers found the youngest was shamelessly eavesdropping on their private conversation.

“He changed into a new person. Who would not notice? Even our Leeteuk-sunbae noticed it but he said nothing regarding it. He had more than 5 members in his hand to be handled.” said Minho, chuckling at nonentity.

“Well, don’t you think it’s kinda strange? He’s a lot closer to you. Only you, Minho. Not me, not Jonghyun-hyung, and not even Onew-hyung.” said Kibum, being indicative again.

“He’s always that way, right? What’s wrong? You see, in fact, I’m the only one that’s able to make calm him down when he throws his weird tantrum.” said Minho.

“Fine, I’m just going to be straight with you again. Don’t be off-” Kibum was cut again.

“I am going to be offended if you said I’m a stupid, careless or idiotic person once more.” said Minho with a fail pout.

“Okay. Don’t you think Taemin is … in love with you? And vice versa?” uttered Kibum carefully yet suggestively toned.

Minho gawked at Kibum as if he just said he saw penguin flying in the sky. He blinked a few times before showering the awkward atmosphere with futile fake chuckle. He was doing so to convince himself he heard it wrong. In the interim, Taemin, who was under the bed, let out a voiceless gasp. He was anxious. It was a turn-up for the book. He was afraid that his plan could not flow as he mapped out earlier.

“Hyung, I might like to touch his everyday. I might like to chuck him under the chin to calm him down. I might like to touch his hand and hug him a lot. I might like to call him ‘Mr. Mushroom’, kiss him on the forehead and simply hug him before sleeping every night. He might be surprised to find that I’m always beside him every morning with my arms around him. I may be kinda a ert when I’m around him, or just call me whatever you prefer, but I’m completely sure he … don’t love me in that way.” spluttered Minho, unconvinced of himself at that moment.

Every sole of sentence prodded Taemin’s mind like razor-sharp arrow. He was absolutely staggered by Minho’s words. His eyes widened and mouth shaped a small ‘O’. He felt stupid; too stupid that he did not realize the entire sweet things Minho was doing to him all of this time. The velvety touches, the snug as a bug in a rug hug every morning when he woke up, the soft and calm under his chin when he was angry and much more. Even the unknown ones too; the cute pet name Minho called him, ‘Mr. Mushroom’, the kiss on his forehead he received every night in his sleep and the mere hug he was engulfed into before Minho went to sleep.

It was all too much for him to absorb into his mind all at once.

“Minho, calm down. I’m just saying what I think is true.” said Kibum, slightly moved by Minho’s confused blended with a little anger words.

“No, it’s not true! Hyung, we’re losing the gist of this talk!” yelled Minho in confusion.

“Minho, calm down!” repeated Kibum with a rather louder volume.

Minho buried his face into his palms and supported them with his elbows. He breathed steadily and disconnected the skin contact a minute later. He looked at Kibum with a quite worried countenance on his face. Kibum soothed his tangled feeling with a soft motherly rub on his back.

“Minho, actually, he loves you.” whispered Kibum, loud enough for every soul in the room to hear.

Minho stared at Kibum with a more confused look. The divulgence of Taemin’s secret feeling towards Minho brought pure shock to all of them, excluding Kibum. The mother-like member waited uncomplainingly for Minho to accept the exact actuality. Meanwhile, Taemin had never been more than this shock in his life. His heartbeats rate mounting inhospitably and sweats beaded on his forehead. He trusted Kibum to let his secret feeling towards Minho stayed in obscurity. But then, it hit him hard like a huge rock; Kibum never promised him to keep it as secret and he himself stupidly never ask him to do so.

“Hyung, I do love him but-” said Minho.

It offered Taemin hope but it was just a fleeting expectation. The hopeful emotion whizzed through his body. He buttressed himself up as the word ‘but’ knocked his eardrums. He knew something unwanted would happen soon.

“-just as brother; not in the passionate way. I’m sure he feels that way too towards me. If you’re talking about the romantic way, then, I don’t love Taemin.” said Minho; certain that Taemin’s feeling were just illusory.

And it did.

Taemin had braced himself for the plight of rejection from Minho. Yet, his heart still ached and stung with every word that flowed out of Minho’s mouth. The air turned somber. Tears pooled in his eyes slowly. He felt like a weak in the head. All of the hopeful and expecting feels in him flowed out through the tears. He quickly wiped away the tears with his small palms.

He did not even tell Minho about his feeling personally, not via another person, and ask him about it yet. How more pathetic his life could be? He knew Minho’s preceding words were innocuous. Yet, an indirect rejection still hurt his heart. He was brokenhearted. He balled his fists into two small balls and brought them to his heart. He clutched on his shirt pathetically. He hoped he could console his aching heart but it was useless.

Tears by tears slipped onto his cheeks. He sobbed soundlessly. He embraced his weedy physique in attempt to comfort his broken self. The reality that Minho did not love him the way he did and never thought he would hurt him so much.

“Minho…” called Kibum, shocked by the revelation of truth.

“I’m serious and sure about this, hyung. I …” whispered Minho, somewhat loudly.

Out of blue, strong zephyr blew from the opened window. Perhaps, fate was a little playful to Taemin on the twilight of that day. Some papers from Minho’s nearby table flew and scattered on the carpeted floor. Minho immediately rushed to the casement window and closed it. He locked it for security and sighed. Kibum, who was currently on the floor, picking up the papers called for Minho in a weak voice.

“Yes, hyung?” responded Minho, sitting back on the bed.

“Who’s this?” asked Kibum, feet rushing back to sit beside Minho while his hands showed the tall member a collection of pictures of someone.

‘Shin Minki.’

 “My … My ex-boyfriend.” replied Minho, uncertainly.

“Boyfriend?” gasped Kibum, surprised to know Minho had been in a relationship before.

“Yes, hyung. He was my boyfriend before we debut.” said Minho, controlling his poking emotion.

“Was?” repeated Kibum, mouth shaping into an ‘O’.

“He … He died three years ago.” said Minho, eyes becoming watery.

“I’m sorry, Minho.” whispered Kibum, shifting closer to Minho; knowing that he would need a shoulder to lean on.

Their previous topic about Minho and Taemin was forgotten just like that.

Minho leaned into Kibum as the older draped his arms around him to comfort him. He rubbed the back of Minho soothingly and tried to shush him with reassuring words. Minho palmed his face and memories of him and Minki flashed by in his mind mercilessly. He had buried all of the reminiscences in his heart and locked it. It seemed like the lock had broken and the memories were digging their way out.

Without their knowing, one of the pictures from the collection had flown into the hideout of Taemin. Nobody knew a photo, the sweetest photo Minho kept of Minki and him, was under the bed, with Taemin. Taemin wiped his tears and picked up the old photo. The moment his eyes laid on the photo, his heart ached as much as it could. He bursted into tears. More and more warm tears streamed down his cheeks. He could not bold himself to look at the photo again. He curled into a ball and let the photo slipped from his hand.

‘Shin Minki and Choi Minho sharing a sweet passionate kiss on a bed.’

“I miss him, hyung. I miss Minki so much. I love him so much that I still can’t let him go. If possible, I’m willing to switch my body with him. I’ll die in exchange for his life. I’m willing to do anything to have him back.” said Minho; everything was clear for Taemin to hear.

Taemin noiseless sobbed worsened and tears were leaking out nonstop. He clutched onto his shirt, trying supremely hard to control his crying. The rappers were still unaware of him in the room. Both of the in-love males were crying, spilling their mixed up emotion through their tears. One had a shoulder to lean on, while the other was crying unaccompanied pitifully.

Taemin’s love for Minho was stupid and just plainly zilch to him; that was what he thought. He was wasting his time and effort. To him, everything that he heard today was enough for him to conclude that, Minho would never acknowledge his chaste love. He had heard with his own ears that Minho still love his ex-boyfriend and was sure that it would probably stay like that forever.

“Hyung, I want to tell you something. I’ve been keeping it since that day. And I think … maybe it was the reason for Taemin to change.” said Minho, feeling a lot better while the one under the bed was continuously crying his heart out.

“Really? What is it?” asked Kibum, rubbing Minho’s side.

“We … kissed.” whispered Minho slowly, afraid.

“What?” said Kibum loudly, surprised by the might-be reason.

“I’m really sorry that I kissed him, hyung. I didn’t mean to do that. Taemin … he’s so alike to Minki. Sometimes, I see Minki in him. I’m a little out of mind on that day. I kissed him without my own knowing. I was thinking about Minki too much at that time.” said Minho; a picture of both Minki and Taemin appeared in his eyes.

Upon hearing that, Taemin’s heart throbbed and sliced into thin pieces. The kiss, which was his first kiss, was not meant for him at all. It was meant for a person, who was not even living on this world anymore, Shin Minki. Taemin accidentally let out a soft light sob. He was unable to control his emotion anymore. Lucky that the two rappers were absorbed in their tête-à-tête, they did not catch the sobbing sound.

The streams of hot tears seemed not ending soon. Taemin hated crying. Nevertheless, for the time being, he wanted to be someone else and cried as much as he wanted if that was the only way to make him feel better. He rested his body flatly on his back and underwent his own self-pity session under the bed solely. He let the tears freely went out of his eyes and closed his eyes.

“Minho, you shouldn’t apologize to me. You should apologize to Taemin.” whispered Kibum, sounding upset with Minho’s act.

“Why, hyung?” whispered Minho.

“It might be his first kiss …” said Kibum, looking into Minho’s eyes.

Minho was flabbergasted. Why that thing never crossed his mind? He felt awfully stupid at that time. He looked over at Kibum’s pair of calm eyes with his rounded ones. He parted away from the embrace and wiped his tears with the sleeves of his shirt. He blinked to obtain a clearer vision. Kibum smiled sadly. ‘At least he’s going to say sorry now. I hope it’s going to be better soon.’ prayed him.

“I’ll go and talk to him about this, hyung. I’ll apologize to him.” said Minho, wiping his last stain of tear on his face.

“Okay. Minho, hwaiting!” cheered Kibum despite the gloomy atmosphere.

Both of the rappers exited the room, still unconscious of the existence of another soul in the room. Kibum closed the door and walked to his respective room. In the meantime, Taemin looked at the outside world. At that moment, he silently thanked his mind for providing the idea of hiding under the bed. For now, he wanted to rest and digest everything in his mind. He wanted to mend his ache heart with his best. He closed his eyes.

He cried and cried as much as he could miserably.

He hoped he never kissed Minho that day. He hoped he pushed Minho that day.

Everything was a complete worthless dust now.

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I’m sorry for this sad chapter. Again, I say this; the ‘Minki’ in here is not NU’EST’s Ren and I’m sorry I spelt NU’EST wrong on previous chapter. I spelt it NUE’ST instead of NU’EST. I think that’s all I’ve to say for now. Thanks for reading. Oh! I recommend you to listen to this song. It’s good. (Yes, I really favor Juniel so much! ^^ )

Title: Bad Man.

Sung by: Choi Junhee (Juniel)

Album: 1&1

P.S: Hey, guys! Do you mind checking out my new 2MIN story? Click on the title below if you're interested! ^^

'Worthless Regret'

Sapphire_Headphone

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