Sehun is sitting on the bench at the hospital park with a cup of vanilla bubble tea in his hand. Next to him is Luhan, looking all innocent in his white sweater and light brown mushroom hair and twinkling eyes, with a cup of chocolate bubble tea in his hand.

“Hyung,” Sehun called his name.

The deer eyed boy turned at him. “Hm?”

“Let’s buy bubble tea again once I finished this cup.” Sehun said, gesturing at the plastic cup in his hand.

Luhan chuckled. “Okay, we’ll buy it again.”

Sehun smiled. He really liked the way Luhan talk. Always soothing and sweet to him. Listening to Luhan’s voice always makes him comforted, as if Luhan is the only drug that will cure him whenever he’s sick.

“Sehun-ah,” Luhan called him this time.

“Yes, hyung?” Sehun answered. He turned to see the guy next to him.

But he found a lonely cup of bubble tea next to him. He’s all alone on the park. No sign of the previous deer eyed boy.

___

It’s a cold day in autumn. The leaves are sadly falling to the ground, and even got sadder as they watched their friends are falling too. Such a funny thing, because back then in the spring, they were challenging each other to be the prettiest bloom. They should’ve known better in summer that they’re going to be wiped away as the cold breeze blows them. And ironically, the melancholic scene will always be repeated like that, over and over again.

It’s lunch time when Sehun looked at Kyungsoo with a frowning face.

“We’re not eating at your café?” Sehun asked.

Kyungsoo sighed. “I need rice.”

So they ended up at a beef restaurant downtown. There aren’t too many people around them, so they could eat in peace. Sehun was about to send another scoop into his mouth when Kyungsoo muttered some words. Sehun only caught the lasts.

“ – to China next week.”

“What?”

Kyungsoo stared at Sehun. “I’m leaving to China next week. Just for three days.”

“What are you going to do there?” Sehun asked. Somehow his voice cracked at the sudden déjà vu he just had. There once a guy told him the similar thing and he didn’t come back until now, and that’s a whole year.

“My uncle’s birthday.” Kyungsoo scooped another spoon of rice and stared at it. “He wants the entire family to be there.”

“You have some family in China?” Sehun winced.

“Yes, in Beijing. Have I ever told you that?”

Sehun shook his head. “You’re going there alone?”

It took a few seconds before Kyungsoo took the glass in front of him. “Actually no, I’m going to leave with Jongdae and Yifan.” Kyungsoo said after he gulped the mineral water.

“Without me??” Sehun frowned.

Kyungsoo grinned. “Sorry, Hun.”

“But why suddenly all of you are going to leave together??”

“Well, Yifan said that he went back to China every autumn if he could. He routinely visits his mother in Guangzhou.” Kyungsoo said, “and Jongdae, well, you know he likes China, so when he heard that me and Yifan are going to China, he insisted to come with us.”

“But why didn’t you guys ask me to go with you?” Sehun’s voice is a thick of disappointment.

Kyungsoo chuckled. “You know you’re too busy with your training stuffs.”

Sehun sighed. Kyungsoo is right. Since he joined the most famous and prestigious entertainment company called Star Museum Entertainment – or known by SM Town – six months ago, Sehun’s spare times are crucially shortened. The training stuffs are exhausting and hard. Sehun didn’t even understand how some people from SM scouted him back then, when he was walking alone, three months after he was discharged from the hospital.

That was also, around four months after Luhan left him.

Watching the boy in front of him frowned, Kyungsoo smiled gently. “What’s bothering you?”

Sehun shook his head lazily. “Nothing.”

“Is it Luhan again?” Kyungsoo’s voice sounds lost.

“Well,” Sehun sighs, “yes.”

“Oh come on, don’t doubt him again. He’s doing fine, I believe.” Kyungsoo lets out a smile that if Sehun paid some attention to it, he will know how the smile didn’t reach his doe eyes. “I know you’re mad at him because he didn’t contact you, but anything could happen, who knows he lost his phone and every contact he had or it fell from the plane, who knows?”

“Seriously, Soo, is that all you got? You said that everytime we talked about this.” Sehun frowned.

“The point is, don’t be mad at him and keep your faith on him instead.”

“But it has been freaking one year.” Sehun snorted. “And one month.”

Kyungsoo chuckled. “Cute, Sehun, cute.”

Sehun sniffed and gulped the mineral water in front of him. He still can’t get over the fact that Luhan didn’t keep his promise to contact him once he arrived in China. He was truly disappointed. Well, maybe the guy is busy, judging by how he ditched his promise, because Luhan was never a person who easily ditches their promises. Like, Luhan is the most angelic person he ever met.

Sehun always ditched away any bad thoughts of Luhan. Maybe he got very serious matters in China, so he can’t be bothered even with a text. Sehun always said hwaiting to himself, and trying to be sure that Luhan is doing well too. That’s all he could do at this point. He missed Luhan, obviously. He missed him so bad. But surprisingly, it’s not really that painful, as what he felt when Luhan didn’t come to him for months.

Sehun placed his hand on his chest, right where his heart is. He looked at Kyungsoo. “You know, everytime I miss hyung, somehow my heart will beat so calm, as if it’s telling me that hyung is doing well and I shouldn’t be worry about him.” he chuckled at the last words. “Corny enough, huh?”

Kyungsoo laughed. “Yeah, such a corny thing from you.”

“But that’s what I feel. I don’t even know why I could feel that.” Sehun shrugged as he wandered his gaze on the café’s interior. “It’s like, I miss him, but my heartbeat can cure it, as if I could feel hyung’s presence too.”

There’s a short silence and Kyungsoo broke it with murmuring a thing. “Of course you could, Luhan is beating inside you.”

Sehun stared at Kyungsoo’s face in silence. He thought Kyungsoo was joking, but his face is just too serious. Somehow he shivered.

Kyungsoo glanced at him. “What? I thought we’re playing corny right now.”

Then Sehun burst into laugh. “Oh my goodness, Soo, you scared me!”

“What?” Kyungsoo winced, “weirdo.”

___________________________________________________

It’s another day in autumn. Still cold, with leaves falling to the ground. Even when two years has already passed, autumn is still digging a hole inside Sehun’s heart.

Sehun only needed a year of trainee period to make it to debut. He was placed in a project group that sooner turned to an official new group, they named them as EXO. He’s the youngest in the group, he promoted along with another five boys. There’s Byun Baekhyun who has such a beautiful soothing voice. They got a rapper too, Park Chanyeol, the tall guy that reminds Sehun of Yifan. There’s the Chinese guy, Zhang Yixing, who went by the name of Lay, greatly talented at dance and such a poker face. There’s Kim Minseok who got ‘Xiumin’ as his stage name, has a pair of bun cheeks. And the last before Sehun himself is Kim Joonmyun, their leader, who got the stage name ‘Suho’, the filthy rich guy with innocent face and such a beautiful attitude. They only needed six months to be close with each other.

It saddened him inside when they explained to him the history of the making of their group. His manager said that one day they got the idea of a new perfect boy group that will excel in dance and sing and the other talents, after they watched a brilliant trainee that stands out the most that time. He said the trainee’s voice is not really that good, but he can rap, and his dance moves are considered as art.

“Kim Jongin, that guy, we will never forget him. He’s really talented and he got that perfect manner. Everyone believed he would easily make it to debut,” his manager said, “such a pity that he ended up with brain cancer.” He could still remember how his manager’s eyes twinkled after that at him, “but if he ended up in EXO, we would never have you, right? So maybe it’s purely God’s way to make us have you.”

Sehun could only laugh bitterly at the fact.

“Hey Soo, guess what,” Sehun said when he met Kyungsoo at the doe eyed boy’s café, “I’m leaving to China next week!!”

Kyungsoo is surprised. But somehow it’s not how Sehun expected. “W-what?”

“I’m leaving to China next week. We’re going to attend the K-Concert at Beijing.” Sehun grinned. “Isn’t it fun? We can meet there!”

Kyungsoo laughed nervously. “R-really? That’s good! Have you told Yifan and Jongdae yet?”

“I haven’t, but I’m going to tell them.” Sehun smiled. “I’m so excited!”

But soon his excitement is vanished.

Sehun gazed through the window, at the view of Beijing outside the hotel, still remembering the fact that Kyungsoo and the others didn’t came with him after all. Two days before his departure, Kyungsoo called him and said that he can’t go because he need to take care of something serious about his café, Yifan told him that he’s going to have a seminar in Canada, and Jongdae said that he need to take care of his wife, Kim Taeyeon – the pretty noona –, who’s in her pregnancy.

What makes him more pissed off is that instead of shoving him with a thousands of apologize, Kyungsoo asked him to do him a favor. And it’s a weird one.

‘Could you please go to a place in there? I’ll send you the address. You only need to buy a bucket of white roses. Once you arrived there you’ll know what to do with the flowers.’

“What are you going to do at this address?” Minseok said when Sehun showed him the next message. “I think we should bring Yixing if you really want to go there, we need him to talk to the taxi driver.”

“You’re going to accompany me?” Sehun’s eyes are twinkling at the older one.

Minseok grinned, making his chubby cheeks goes puffier. “Now we only need to ask Yixing to accompany us.”

The way to the place is fun, Sehun need to admit it. He could only laugh when Minseok tried with all his might to speak in Chinese while Yixing busily corrected every incorrect words and tones the older used. The taxi driver is a nice man, he replied every single thing Minseok said, though a couple times he needed Yixing to tell him what the chubby guy means. They went to buy the white roses first and then they continued.

But soon enough the fun is ended when they arrived at the address. Sehun winced when he looked outside the window car. He could’ve protested at the driver, but Yixing told him that it’s the right place.

“But why did your friend told you to go to a cemetery??” Minseok said. “I don’t like cemeteries.”

Sehun didn’t paid attention to the older one. He’s busy typing rapidly on his phone, praying that Kyungsoo is online on Skype. He tried to call through the application but Kyungsoo won’t pick up.

He sighed in relief when Yifan’s name popped on his phone screen. Maybe Kyungsoo told the tower to call him. “Wu Yifan, could you please ask Kyungsoo why on earth did he give me the address of a cemetery??”

Yifan didn’t respond at the furious tone. “Is there someone I could speak to? Someone who understand Chinese.”

“Well, there’s Yixing hyung, but – “

“Good, give the phone to him.”

“But – “

“Sehun, just do it. I don’t have much time, I’m busy right now. Hurry.”

Sehun frowned and gave the phone to Yixing. He sniffed when he heard Yixing talked rapidly in Chinese on the phone. He could imagine the way Yifan talk in that language, it would sound like he’s rapping. He once heard his tall friend talked to his mother, and he can’t even tell if the guy remembered to breath.

After a while, finally Yixing gave the phone back to him. “Come on, Shixun, I know where to go.”

Sehun pouted when Yixing called him in his Chinese name. “So we got in the wrong place?”

“No, no, we got in the right place. I mean, I know which tomb we have to visit.” Yixing smiled as he walked. “Come on, Minxi, you don’t want to stand here alone, do you?”

Following Yixing’s steps and Minseok’s whines, Sehun still couldn’t understand. “Yifan told you that I need to visit a tomb??”

Yixing shrugged. “That’s what he told me.”

They finally arrived in front of a tomb. Yixing told him to put the flower on it, so Sehun did it. Then Yixing asked him to pray along with him, with Minseok still complaining at how quiet the place is. Sehun bite his upper lip as he gazed at the tomb. It has some Chinese words engraved on it, and Sehun can’t take his eyes off the three largest letters. He can’t read Chinese after all, so he decided to gaze at the white roses. He smiled sadly. White rose.

The color that has been Luhan’s favorite since forever and the flower that Luhan always had as the prints on his bedroom’s wall. Or that’s what Luhan told him.

“Whose tomb was that?” Sehun asked when Yixing finished his prayer and walked back to the gate. Their manager’s car is already there. Turns out that Minseok had called Joonmyun and told the leader he’s scared because they’re in a cemetery.

Yixing didn’t answer at first. He stared at Sehun innocently. A few seconds later he grinned at the younger one. “Darn, I’ve forgot.”

Sehun sighed. “I’m not going to be surprised if someday you forget who I am.”

“Ah, wait, I remember something!” Yixing said quickly, “uhm, I thought I heard Yifan said ‘deer’.”

“Deer??” Sehun frowned.

Yixing nodded in enthusiasm. “Deer!” he said again, and he sighed. “I thought it was ‘unicorn’. But hey, it has a huge gap of difference.”

Sehun can’t even understand why someone like Zhang Yixing existed. Sometimes he could be all serious and genius, but sometimes he could also be goofy and unpredictable. Well, precisely, weirdly unpredictable, especially that time when he told Sehun and the rest of the EXO members about his obsession over unicorn, which is, like, the most unreal thing in the world.

____

Sehun is sitting on the bench at the hospital park with a cup of vanilla bubble tea in his hand. Next to him is Luhan, looking all innocent in his white sweater and light brown mushroom hair and twinkling eyes, with a cup of chocolate bubble tea in his hand.

“Hyung,” Sehun called his name.

The deer eyed boy turned at him. “Hm?”

“Let’s buy bubble tea again once I finished this cup.” Sehun said, gesturing at the plastic cup in his hand.

Luhan chuckled. “Okay, we’ll buy it again.”

Sehun smiled. He really liked the way Luhan talk. Always soothing and sweet to him. Listening to Luhan’s voice always makes him comforted, as if Luhan is the only drug that will cure him whenever he’s sick.

“Sehun-ah,” Luhan called him this time.

“Yes, hyung?” Sehun answered. He turned to see the guy next to him.

Luhan smiled at him. A very beautiful and sincere smile, that even Sehun couldn’t describe precisely. He spelled the next words in such a soothing voice. “Thank you.”

Sehun winced. “For what?” he asked. Then he closed his eyes because the blowing wind makes his bang to cover his eyes. He fixed his hair and opened his eyes again, waiting for Luhan’s explanation.

But he found a lonely cup of bubble tea next to him. He’s all alone on the park. No sign of the previous deer eyed boy.

____

Sehun opened his eyes in horror. He’s quietly panting, his heart is beating so fast.

He grabbed his phone and pressed the round button. The large clock numbers glared at him. Three in the morning. He has been sleeping for around five hours now.

He sighed as he ruffled his own hair. He chuckled quietly. He dreamed about Luhan again. Always the same dream, he and Luhan sitting on a bench, drinking bubble tea, and Luhan would call him, and when he turned his gaze on him, Luhan would disappear, leaving the bubble tea cup on the bench. But this time it was different. Finally when he turned his gaze to Luhan after he called him, Luhan smiled at said something. He couldn’t really remember, but it’s just a word, and somehow that word stirs everything inside him.

He opened the messenger application in his phone and tapped at Luhan’s ID. He started to type.

‘Hyung, I dreamed about you again.’

And he typed again.

‘I miss you. Won’t you come back?’

He scrolled up the screen and read all the flooding messages he had typed these passed years. Always the same thing, about how he dreamed about him, about him missing the older one, and questions that had never answered. He once thought about abandoning Luhan, but he just couldn’t. He’d always find his fingers tracing the messages he sent, the messages that never replied by Luhan.

He wondered if Luhan is doing the same too.

____

Sehun is sitting alone at Kyungsoo’s café. Fortunately it’s almost the closing time, so there aren’t too many people that might recognize him. He’s sipping a cup hot tea. He could’ve bought bubble tea if only the manager didn’t tell him to drink something warm because it’s a winter night.

“Can I sit here?”

Sehun looked up to see who’s disturbing his peaceful time. He met a pair of sharp fierce eyes, black raven hair and a pair of nice stylish suit that reminds him of Luhan. The guy has a bit tan skin.

He would’ve thought the guy is going to scold him if only the guy didn’t smile at him. “Can I sit here?” the guy asked again.

“S-sure, why not?” Sehun smiled back. The guy took the seat in front of him and sighed.

“I hate drinking hot chocolate alone.” the guy murmured.

“I don’t really like hot tea,” Sehun added, “and being alone.”

The guy laughed and reached out his hand. “Huang Zitao.”

Sehun took the hand and shook it. “Oh Sehun.”

“Oh Sehun of EXO?” Zitao winced.

Sehun laughed nervously. “Uhm, yes.”

“Gosh, my little sister is going to kill me if I told her I met you,” Zitao chuckled, “she’s like, your biggest fan.”

“Really?? I’d like to meet her someday.” Sehun grinned.

“No no, you shouldn’t, she’s going to torture you with a lot of questions and she won’t let you go. Kids these days are furious.” Zitao shook his head as he sipped his hot chocolate again.

Then Zitao stared at Sehun. “I actually saw you once when I’m dealing some business matters with Lee Sooman at his office. It was around four months ago.”

Sehun winced at the mention of the SM Town’s owner. “You were in the building?”

“Yep.” Zitao nodded.

“Funny, right, how destiny could play with you.” Sehun chuckled as he wandered his eyes through the tall window next to him.

Zitao looked at Sehun for a long minute. “I’ve been watching you before I came to this table and it seems like you’re a bit lost.”

“You’ve been stalking me??” Sehun laughed.

“Yah, I saw you glanced at me for about twice, or even thrice.” Zitao defended himself.

“Yeah, that’s because you’re the only guy that left in this room.” Sehun rolled his eyeballs.

Zitao pouted. “So, you seem so much lost. Why?”

Sehun shrugged, not sure if he should tell the stranger about Luhan. “Well, there’s someone who promised to contact me again once he arrived in a far place, but even after two years and three months, he didn’t do that.” he said casually, “he ditched his promise.”

“That’s terrible.” Zitao commented. “Is that person really important to you?”

Sehun lets out a sad smile. “You won’t have any idea.”

“You must be missing him so much.” Zitao murmured.

“Indeed.” Sehun chuckled as he stared at Zitao. “And you looked like someone with such a huge burden.”

Zitao laughed. “One look could show it all, huh?” he said. Then he sighed, “I’ve been trained to be the next CEO in my uncle’s company – it’s actually our grandpa’s –, but precisely, the one who will replace the real heir once he couldn’t do his job. I was just a back up and I kinda hated my cousin who’s the real heir for that.” he started.

“But then he died, and I don’t know what the cause is, I don’t want to know at first. I once hated him for being such a lucky one to have the CEO position when he agreed to do it, and after he died, I hated him for leaving such a massive burden for me. But a bit long time after he left, I started to understand how great he was, judging by how the employees praised him like God and how the clients said he’s such a brilliant young businessman.” Zitao didn’t realized he already finished his hot chocolate. “He’s a genius one. And I respected him for that. The work as CEO is not easy, it’s really hard. And yet they said his job is excellent.”

“Wow,” Sehun blinked, “never thought someone like that existed in this world.”

“Indeed!” Zitao laughed. He sighed again. “I started to miss him, actually. I hated him once, of course, but he never hated me for anything. He was very kind to me, even though I always pushed him away. Now thinking of that, I regretted my rudeness to him.”

Sehun nodded. “It’s alright, you regretted it at least, it means that you’ve already realized how much he cared about you.”

“Yeah, he cared about me too much.” Zitao said. “Being a CEO is the proof. My uncle said he actually disagreed to be CEO, but then he agreed, one of the reasons is because he doesn’t want me to feel the burden.”

Sehun shook his head in disbelief. How could someone angelic like Zitao’s cousin existed in this world?

____

Sehun is sitting on the bench at the hospital park with a cup of vanilla bubble tea in his hand. Next to him is Luhan, looking all innocent in his white sweater and light brown mushroom hair and twinkling eyes, with a cup of chocolate bubble tea in his hand.

“Hyung,” Sehun called his name.

The deer eyed boy turned at him. “Hm?”

“Let’s buy bubble tea again once I finished this cup.” Sehun said, gesturing at the plastic cup in his hand.

Luhan chuckled. “Okay, we’ll buy it again.”

Sehun smiled. He really liked the way Luhan talk. Always soothing and sweet to him. Listening to Luhan’s voice always makes him comforted, as if Luhan is the only drug that will cure him whenever he’s sick.

“Sehun-ah,” Luhan called him this time.

“Yes, hyung?” Sehun answered. He turned to see the guy next to him.

He found Luhan stared at him in such a sorrowful stare. “If somehow curiosity filled your mind, you need to remember that there are things we don’t need to find out about,” he said in such a low voice, “don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

Sehun winced. “What do you mean by that, hyung?” he asked. Then he closed his eyes because the blowing wind makes his bang to cover his eyes. He fixed his hair and opened his eyes again, waiting for Luhan’s explanation.

But he found a lonely cup of bubble tea next to him. He’s all alone on the park. No sign of the previous deer eyed boy.

____

Sehun opened his eyes in horror. He’s quietly panting, his heart is beating so fast.

It took a few seconds until he realized that he’s sleeping on the couch in Jongdae’s room. He has been waiting for Jongdae, Yifan, and Kyungsoo, for around one hour. He even fell asleep and dreamed about Luhan again. He shook his head in disbelief, noted inside his mind that he should scold them for making him wait like this. Fortunately Sehun is in his rarely exist spare time, given by the company because they’re going to record their second mini album next month.

He looked at his phone. Calling them won’t make any differences at all. So he decided to take a tour for himself in Jongdae’s work room. Jongdae has been working as a psychiatrist for years, judging by there’s a lot of agendas in the bookshelf in front of him. He picked one of them when he saw the year written on it, the year when he was one of Jongdae’s patients.

He opened the book and chuckled when he read the summary about one of his sessions with Jongdae. It was when he was just woke up from his comatose. Jongdae wrote something about his memory lost. Then he flipped the pages carelessly.

And then he remained in silence when he read a session, but it’s not his. He read the name on the top of it and the summary below.

Name : Xi Luhan

Session : 60 – last

Summary : the treatment completely succeed, patient finished his sessions.

Sehun winced. Luhan never told him that he had sessions with Jongdae too. He even wondered what makes him went into the sessions. Luhan is like, the most organized person. What could possibly make him needed a psychiatrist?

He took the agenda that contains the summaries in the previous year, before the one he was reading about. He opened the agenda and found what he’s looking for.

Name : Xi Luhan

Session : 1

Summary : patient could see souls after he woke up from his comatose.

Name : Xi Luhan

Session : 14

Summary : patient still seeing things, always talked to one of them, he said his name is Oh Sehun, his bestfriend ever since he was a kid. Oh Sehun’s soul appeared to him while his physical body remained in the hospital. Patient starts to consume medicines.

Name : Xi Luhan

Session : 33

Summary : patient still seeing things. Treatment is still offered, but patient refused again because he doesn’t want to lose that Sehun thing.

Name : Xi Luhan

Session : 36

Summary : patient agreed with the treatment.

Name : Xi Luhan

Session : 55

Summary : treatment works, patient didn’t see souls anymore, specific tests needed.

“Hey Hun, sorry for being – Sehun what are you doing?”

Sehun stared at Jongdae blankly. He shifted his gaze to Yifan and lastly Kyungsoo. He turned again to Jongdae. “Luhan hyung had sessions with you? He was seeing souls including me??”

Jongdae ad Yifan’s gaze turned to Kyungsoo.

­___

Sehun didn’t know long he has been crying on his bed. There’s a wet pool of tears on his pillow. His eyes are burning. His throat is aching for crying too much. Even when he closed his eyes, all parts of his body are aching.

‘Luhan was in coma too, you know that. One year later he woke up in Singapore, and after a few treatments, the next year he came back to Seoul. He said a few days after that he met you, which is an absurd thing, because you were still in comatose that time. He didn’t know about it of course, he was suffering under a minor amnesia. He couldn’t remember exactly what happened, so he didn’t know you’re in coma too. He said he met you and spent days with you. He found out when I called him to tell him that Jongin has passed away that morning, but he said he was talking to both you and Jongin. Yes, he could see souls back then.’

Sehun is still trying to absorb everything.

‘Jongdae offered the treatment to cure that thing, but he refused everytime Jongdae or Yifan mentioned it. He said he don’t want to lose you. He said he don’t want to live without you next to him. He said it’s okay even if everyone said he’s a freak, because as long as he has you with him, he doesn’t care about anything else. He loved you too much that he gave his sanity away.’

Sehun is still trying to absorb everything, though his heart is aching so much.

‘Then he said you told him it’s okay if he let go of you. He said you told him you’ll always be in his heart. He agreed to do the treatment, and it works. But after that, he was living like a robot. He couldn’t be bright as usual, because you’re not there with him. And then, on the same day with the second anniversary of Jongin’s death, you woke up from comatose. He was so happy and immediately went to the hospital, but once he arrived, he found that you’ve forgot who he is. He has been waiting for two years, but instead of hugging him, you said you don’t know who he is.’

Sehun is still trying to absorb everything, though his heart is aching so much and his tears starts to flow again.

‘He couldn’t accept it at first. He pulled himself away from you for days. He said it hurts to be easily ditched away by the one he loved. But then he regretted it, he said it hurts more not to be with you. So he stepped back into your life again and stayed with you. He has so much works at the company, but he always tried to come to visit you. He didn’t care about his health anymore, he cared about you more. All that exist in his head is his works and you. You’re his life, he always said that.’

Sehun is still trying to absorb everything, though his heart is aching so much and his tears starts to flow again, though the very next second he cried so hard.

‘He loved you so much, Sehun. You should know that. You don’t need to doubt him now, because you could say he loved you so much. There’s no way he ditched you away. It must be because he just simply can’t contact you, not because he wanted to. Put your faith on him.’

Sehun is still trying to absorb everything, though his heart is aching so much and his tears starts to flow again, though the very next second he cried so hard and his lips lets out a sorrowful groan as he gripped the sheet under him.

If agony could kill, he would’ve dead by now.

He placed his hand on his chest, feeling so much pain in his entire body.

“Hyung..” he cried, “hyung.. hyung..”

___

“What are you listening to?” Joonmyun asked and then he winced when he saw Baekhyun’s face. “Are you crying??”

Baekhyun quickly shook his head. “I’m not!!” he said, “but this song is beautifully sad!!”

“What song?” Chanyeol’s deep voice popped next to him.

“Evening sky.” Baekhyun said.

“Oh, it’s Ailee’s song, right??” Minseok is there too, chewing his hot red bean buns.

“So you’re listening to ballads now?” Joonmyun chuckled. “Hey, where are Sehun and Yixing?”

“They’re buying ramen for us.” Baekhyun said. “Channie, do you want to hear this song too?”

Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun innocently. “If it has rap, I’ll listen to it.”

“It’s starry.” Yixing murmured. “Starry sky.”

Sehun looked up to see the night sky above him. “Hm.”

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Yixing’s smile is always flat like that. Even when he laughed so hard.

“Hm.”

Yixing glanced at Sehun. “Mellow boy.”

Five minutes later they’re sitting quietly inside the car, with Yixing humming some random songs and Sehun gazing on the night sky through the car window. Their manager – who drove the car – is busy listening to the radio. Yixing would say something a couple times, and the manager hyung will reply, and both of them will chuckle. Sehun is just too busy with his iPod, listening to one of their own songs.

Then he winced when he heard a soft beautiful intro that he believed not one of their songs in the album. He glanced at the iPod screen and realized later that the songs are shuffled. He stared at the song’s title and wondered if he ever transferred the song into the iPod, or if he even has the song in his Mac. He should ask that hacker Byun Baekhyun later.

He found himself drowning along with the song because somehow the lyric nearly and creepily resembled his own misery.

No matter which night it is, I have the habit of not looking up at the sky
I hate the feeling as if the whole world is gonna leave me

That sun that has fallen so far away will come here tomorrow
But it doesn’t feel like the same sunlight that has shone on me

Though you left, love will come again
Though we had the disturbing farewell
You weigh on my mind over and over like this.

I laugh for loving something occasionally
I feel the happiness more occasionally
But you are still deep in me

Whenever I give someone my heart I have a habit of saving the half
I hate the foreboding that if I give all of it he would just leave me

I cannot give this half to anyone
But I don’t want me broken half way to show up

Though you left, love will come again
Though we had the disturbing farewell
You weigh on my mind over and over like this.

I laugh for loving something occasionally
I feel the happiness more occasionally
But you are still deep in me

Where is your heart?
I wonder if it has hovered around me
Just like me, once in a while
I realized that time could not wipe everything out.
I still can’t call your name comfortably.

Somebody not you hugs me
And somebody not me hugs you
Although days flow eternally like this.

The words that I didn’t say yet to you remain in my mouth
The love that I didn’t give the whole remain in my mind
Maybe you are still in me…

____

Sehun is sitting on the bench at the hospital park with a cup of vanilla bubble tea in his hand. Next to him is Luhan, looking all innocent in his white sweater and light brown mushroom hair and twinkling eyes, with a cup of chocolate bubble tea in his hand.

“Hyung,” Sehun called his name.

The deer eyed boy turned at him. “Hm?”

“Let’s buy bubble tea again once I finished this cup.” Sehun said, gesturing at the plastic cup in his hand.

Luhan chuckled. “Okay, we’ll buy it again.”

Sehun smiled. He really liked the way Luhan talk. Always soothing and sweet to him. Listening to Luhan’s voice always makes him comforted, as if Luhan is the only drug that will cure him whenever he’s sick.

“Sehun-ah,” Luhan called him this time.

“Yes, hyung?” Sehun answered. He turned to see the guy next to him.

He found Luhan is crying. His eyes are red. Tears are flowing down his cheeks. His voice is hoarse.

“I’m sorry..”

____

‘EXO’s magnae, Sehun, at the age of 26, is going to be married!’

Sehun stared at the old newspaper in his hand. He chuckled. His wedding is surely a hot topic eight years ago. Medias were going crazy, thousands of fans were sending him a lots of congratulation cards and wedding gifts. No one ever expected the magnae to be married first, everyone thought Joonmyun would.

But now he found Joonmyun is in the kids’ room, playing with his children.

“Sehun!!” Joonmyun shouted.

“Yes, Joonmyun hyung?” Sehun said.

Joonmyun gazed at Sehun. “Oh, not you, I was calling your son.” Joonmyun laughed, “it’s your fault for giving him the same name as yours.”

Then a pale white little boy running in such a speed to his beloved uncle. “Ahjussi!!!” the little boy chirped, “I can’t find my shirt!!”

Joonmyun winced and gazed at the other boy not so far from him. The boy’s skin is a bit more tanned. “I think your Jongin hyung is wearing it.”

Then the boy cried. “Kkamjong hyuuuung,” he whined, “that’s my shirt!!”

Seven years old Oh Jongin grinned widely to his brother which is two years younger than him. He glanced at the shirt he’s wearing. It should be his, after all, because the shirt is too big for the youngest. “I’m borrowing it, please?”

Surprisingly, the little Sehun stopped his tears and smiled. “Okay!”

Joonmyun gazed at the children’s dad. “Your youngest son is creepy.”

“I know.” Sehun chuckled. “Sehun-ah, won’t you come to appa?”

The little boy brightly smiled and jumped to his dad’s embrace. He inhaled the scent of Sehun’s perfume. “Appa smells so good! Appa smells like vanilla!!”

“We’re back!!” suddenly they heard Yifan’s voice. Then a few seconds later the tall man appeared with a much shorter kid next to him. The boy has a pair of deer eyes and mushroom hair.

“Hyuuuuung!!!” little Sehun chirped happily as he jumped off from his dad’s embrace – the man almost screamed in shock – and run to his favorite brother.

Oh Luhan smiled gently. “I bought your vanilla bubble tea.”

“Thankyou hyung!!!” Sehun shouted in joy as he took the bubble tea from Luhan’s hand. Then he stared at Luhan. “Where is hyung’s bubble tea?”

Luhan grinned. “I finished it on the way home.”

Then suddenly Sehun’s eyes starts to get teary. “Hyung didn’t wait for me to drink it together??”

“Of course I did!” Luhan laughed as he took out the chocolate bubble tea from the carton bag in his hand. “Shall we drink it now?”

Little Sehun who finally realized the next second that his hyung was playing a light prank on him nodded in excitement as both of them walked out from the house to enjoy their bubble tea in the garden.

Yifan chuckled. “He resembles you so much,” Yifan commented, “how you’re always attached to Luhan.”

“Yifan, he even named his first son ‘Luhan’, he already planned that.” Joonmyun laughed.

“But since Sehun and Luhan always played together, what about Jongin? Doesn’t he felt lonely?” Yifan asked as he peeked in the kids’ room, watching the little Jongin busying himself with the game in Sehun’s phone.

“Jongin always played with Kyungin” Sehun said casually.

“Kyungsoo’s only son? The one who was born two days after Jongin?” Joonmyun asked.

“No, he was born in the same year as Luhan, but his birthday is two days after Jongin’s.” Yifan said, “I still remember Kyungin’s first birthday, we all laughed because Sehun named his second son with ‘Jongin’, because we could sense that Jongin and Kyungin will always stick together once they met each other. And we’re right, after all.”

“Speaking of Kyungsoo, when will he come? I’m starving.” Sehun murmured.

Joonmyun checked his phone. “I’m wondering where those brats are too.”

“We’re here!!” three of them sighed in relief once they heard Kyungsoo’s soft chirpy voice. Sooner he appeared with his only son next to him.

Yifan giggled. “Yo, Jongin, Kyungin is here!”

As expected, Jongin rushed out of the room and stopped in front of Kyungin, not even glancing at his own dad and the uncles. “Let’s play outside!! Sehun and Luhan hyung are already there!!”

Kyungin glanced at his dad and then back at Jongin. “But I don’t want to get my hands dirty again, so maybe I – “

“Blah blah, let’s go!” Jongin easily took Kyungin’s wrist and pulled him to the front door.

Kyungin turned his head around to see his dad. “I’ll be back!!”

Kyungsoo laughed so hard. “Oh my goodness, look at that couple!!” he said after he finished his laugh. “It’s creepy.”

“He looks so much like you, Soo.” Sehun said as he watched the boys disappeared behind the door.

“Yeah, turns out that I inherited everything to him.” Kyungsoo rolled his eyeballs. “He hates mess and dirt, he loves pastries and spaghettis – kimchi spaghetti is his favorite –, and also yesterday he whined to me that I should save some money for him so he could get into the culinary academy once he grew up.”

Yifan shook his head in disbelief. “I’m starting to get scared of having a son. I mean, you should see Sehun’s boys too. His first son looks like Luhan for real, his second child looks so similar to Jongin, and the last one looks so much like him. They even got the similar attitude!” he blabbered, “everything starts to get creepy, huh?”

Kyungsoo lets out a sad smile. “Little Jongin reminds me a lot of him indeed.” he murmured. “Hey, who wants to help me with the food?”

____

Sehun can’t believe he’s doing Kyungsoo’s weird task again.

He remembered exactly Kyungsoo asked him to do the same thing around nearly ten years ago. He even needed to bring Yixing again now along with him. They’re standing in front of a cemetery that placed in a quiet street in Beijing.

“Let’s go inside, Shixun!” Yixing chirped after he ended his call on the phone with his daughter. “The kids are going to have a pajama party at your house.”

“But Yihua and Minji are not going to sleep with the boys, right?” Sehun asked to Yixing, mentioning the older one’s daughter and Minseok’s youngest child.

Yixing chuckled. “You’ve forgot Karen and Kelly, and the other girls” he said, mentioning Yifan’s twin daughter. “They’re still kids, Sehun. They went to the water park and even showered together last week, remember?”

Sehun smirked. How could he forget that day, when Chansung and Baekgi, the sons of the two troublemakers, pushed him to the pool?

“Luhan, Kyungin, Jongin and Minjae will take care of them. They’re the hyungs after all.” Yixing said casually as they made their slow steps into the cemetery.

“Well, Luhan and Kyungin are fine, but you know, Jongin and Minjae are the trouble makers. Who knows they could get their dongsaengs in an evil plan?” Sehun commented.

Yixing laughed. “Have you forgotten Chansung and Baekgi?”

“I’ve forgot a lot of things lately, huh?” Sehun said, though the thing is not about their children anymore.

They walked for a couple minutes until they reached the same tomb again. Sehun put down the white roses on it and intertwined his hands as he saw Yixing starts to pray. He bites his upper lip as he gazed at the tomb again.

Once Yixing has finished his prayer, Sehun moved closer to him. “Hyung, whose tomb it is actually?”

Yixing didn’t answer at first. “Uhm, what?”

“I said, whose tomb – “ Sehun’s words were shortened once he saw a guy walking towards them. A bucket of flower is in his hand. The guy is wearing all black clothes. He had black raven hair and a bit tan skin. He got that fierce look.

There’s a silence between the three. Then the guy spoke first in Chinese. “Uhm, I didn’t mean to be impolite, but, who are you?”

Yixing opened his mouth after Sehun glared at him. “I’m Zhang Yixing, and this is my friend, Wu Shixun.” he said, then sighed when Sehun glared again at him as if he’s saying ‘why the hell are you using my Chinese name??’

The guy nodded in acknowledgement. “No offense, but what are you doing in front of my cousin’s tomb?”

“Y-your cousin??” Yixing said in shock. Then he laughed awkwardly. “Oh, h-he was someone we knew back then,” Sehun could tell Yixing’s nervous, though he didn’t understand what he said.

“Really? Then you must’ve been living in Seoul, right?” the guy is still speaking in Chinese. Then he stared at Sehun. “But you’re Korean, huh?” the guy suddenly used Korean to speak and Sehun winced at the sudden déjà vu.

I’ve heard this voice before.

“Ehm, I’m sorry, but I think we’ve met before.” suddenly Sehun speaks.

Yixing turned at him. “Say what?”

The guy didn’t answer at first. He stared at Sehun for a whole minute and finally gasped. “Oh gosh, you’re Oh Sehun, aren’t you?”

“You’re Huang Zitao, right??” Sehun chirped back. “It’s been a very long time!!”

“I can’t believe I’ll meet you again!” Zitao laughed, “though the place is not really that pleasing.”

Sehun chuckled. “Well, so this is your cousin?” he gestured at the tomb.

“Yes, my cousin!” Zitao nodded, “the one I’ve told you about.”

“So what are we doing in front of his cousin’s tomb, hyung?” Sehun turned at Yixing who looks like he’s freezing right now. Fortunately he had his pokerface to hide his nervousness.

“S-Shixun, I-I think we should go back now, I-I’m going to call Yifan first, I – “

“So your Chinese name is Wu Shixun, huh?” Zitao said.

Sehun grinned. “It reads like that in Hanja. Wu Shixun.”

“Shixun, please, we need to go now!”

“Yixing hyung, what’s wrong with you?” Sehun snorted at his hyung, “if you’re going to call that face then call him, I’ll wait for you here, I still want to talk with an old friend.”

Yixing walked back instead of turning around. He stepped backward as he keep staring at Zitao who’s facing him and Sehun. The younger boy didn’t notice anything since he’s facing Zitao.

“You know, my friends told me to visit this tomb and bring white roses. They told me the same thing around ten years ago. I don’t even know why. I don’t even think they know your cousin, but maybe it’s just me who didn’t know.” Sehun explained. “What’s his name, then? Maybe I should ask them.”

Zitao was just about to answer when he glanced at Yixing. The guy is freezing at his spot now, he shook his head and mouthed something to Zitao. But Zitao couldn’t understand, so he hesitatingly answered at Sehun. “Uhm, his name is Xi Luhan.”

It took a whole minute before Sehun speaks again. “W-what’s the name again?”

____

Sehun is sitting on the bench at the hospital park with a cup of vanilla bubble tea in his hand. Next to him is Luhan, looking all innocent in his white sweater and light brown mushroom hair and twinkling eyes, with a cup of chocolate bubble tea in his hand.

“Hyung,” Sehun called his name.

The deer eyed boy turned at him. “Hm?”

“Let’s buy bubble tea again once I finished this cup.” Sehun said, gesturing at the plastic cup in his hand.

Luhan chuckled. “Okay, we’ll buy it again.”

Sehun smiled. He really liked the way Luhan talk. Always soothing and sweet to him. Listening to Luhan’s voice always makes him comforted, as if Luhan is the only drug that will cure him whenever he’s sick.

“Sehun-ah,” Luhan called him this time.

“Yes, hyung?” Sehun answered. He turned to see the guy next to him.

“You shouldn’t be mad at them.” Luhan murmured. “I told them to keep the things from you.”

Sehun bite his upper lip. “I know.”

“Then why did you ditch them for days?” Luhan asked again, he’s disappointed.

Sehun sighed as he narrowed his eyes on the sky. “It was so hard for me to take everything they explained to me. I couldn’t control my emotion back then.” he murmured, “I guess I can’t deal with the truth easily.” he stared at Luhan. “Thankyou for giving me a life, hyung.”

Luhan lets out a gentle smile as his hand find its way to caress Sehun’s silky hair.

“But hyung, why?” Sehun asked in such a low voice. “Why did you give your heart to me?”

“I thought they already told you about – “

“No, I want to hear it from you.”

Luhan sighed. “Well, you know, you were dying, and you needed heart donor, and I’m capable of that. I wanted to save you, I wanted to save your precious future. And it actually works, right?” he laughed softly, “I already felt everything I wanted in my life, but you have so much to find in your life.” It took a while before Luhan added again, “you know I love you.”

“But I can’t live without you, hyung,” Sehun’s voice is hoarse.

“You’re doing well so far.”

“But my life is not the same anymore, hyung,” Sehun pleaded, “and when I found you’re already – gosh, you don’t know how I was dealing with it.”

“Sehun, why don’t you just keep moving on to have a better life instead of mourning for me?” Luhan said, “I mean, don’t waste my heart.”

The word unknowingly snapped Sehun. Right, he shouldn’t waste the life Luhan had given to him.

“I’m always here, Sehun-ah,” Luhan said as he touched Sehun’s chest, “I won’t leave you.”

Sehun smiled so wearily to Luhan’s beautiful face, when he chuckled. “Hey, those were my words!”

_____

Sehun opened his eyes in horror. He’s quietly panting, his heart is beating so fast.

He stared at the ceiling above him. He’s still in the hotel, still in Beijing. He got up and walked towards the bathroom. He glanced at the desk near him before he opened the door. There’s a post-it note glued on it. Sehun could’ve ignored the tiny paper if only he didn’t realize the scribbles on the paper must be written by Yixing. He took it and read the words.

I went to drive them to the airport. Kyungsoo said take care. Yifan and Jongdae too. They said you need to go home soon.

P.S. don’t go anywhere before I came back.

Sehun threw the paper and went to the bathroom. It took a few minutes before finally he’s standing under the shower, the hot water is drenching him. He remembered exactly the chaos two days ago. He was calling Kyungsoo and told him that he found Luhan’s grave which is nonsense because of course Luhan is still alive, that’s what he believed. He didn’t expect to see Kyungsoo, Jongdae and Yifan standing in front of the hotel room’s door.

He didn’t even expect to hear Kyungsoo’s insane explanation.

‘You were dying because of heart failure. You didn’t have much time back then. Luhan know it, and he couldn’t tell you, Yifan said that you shouldn’t know. Luhan was suffering alone because he knew he won’t see you again, because he knew you’re going to leave him forever.’

Sehun walked out from the bathroom and wear a comfy long sleeved t-shirt and navy blue jeans. He sits on the bed, gazing through the window. The sky seems so bright, so contrast with his heart.

‘Then Yifan told him that the only way to save you is to do a heart transplantation surgery. But a heart donor is a rare thing, so it couldn’t really help you. Luhan’s hope was crushed again. But then, he got an idea, which is to be the heart donor for you. He went to some medical tests and the result is positive, he could be the heart donor. And he signed up for that.’

Sehun turned his gaze to the opened door, staring at Yixing who’s standing there with his usual expressionless face. “Oh, you’re awake, and showered.” he commented as he closed the door and dropped the car key on the table he passed by.

Sehun turned his gaze again to the view outside the window.

‘We didn’t agree with him, of course. We told him that we should wait for another donor. He got so much to do, as you know, a lot of people needs him. But he told us that you still had a future, that you’re the only one your parents have, and that your life is more important than his.’

Suddenly Sehun stood up and stared at Yixing. “Hyung, could you drive me to the cemetery?”

Yixing winced. “What are you going to – “

“Please drive me there! Please, hyung!!” Sehun begged as he shook Yixing’s shoulder back and forth. “I’m begging you.”

“F-fine, let’s go.” Yixing turned around and grabbed the car key.

‘We still don’t understand why he didn’t want you to know. But if we thought about it, maybe it’s because he doesn’t want you to think that you took his life and live in sorrowful way because of that. Maybe he prefers you hating him because you thought he left you instead of you mourning over him forever.’

The way to the cemetery is crucially quiet. No one speaks any words, even Yixing, who tends to murmur everything he wanted. Sehun didn’t think about anything either, his mind is blank. He could barely think clearly though. Even when they stopped in front of the gate, Sehun just stared at it blankly.

‘Luhan loves you so much that he gave his life to you. Now what you should do is to use the life he gave to you properly. You should move on and keep pursues your dream instead of mourning over him. That’s what he wanted. You understand, Sehun?’

“I’ll be here!!” Sehun could hear Yixing shouted as he slammed the car door and runs away into the cemetery. He runs and runs until everything on him feels so numb. He unexpectedly remembers the way to the tomb. And here he is, standing in front Luhan’s grave again.

'We visited his grave every year. We keep it as a secret from you. There once when our plan was ruined because you were going to have a concert at Beijing, so we ask you instead to bring the flower to the grave. We told Yixing that he shouldn't tell you whose tomb it is. But, well, I already told Yifan that the secret can't be kept forever.'

He gazed at the sky. It’s turning gloomy, and suddenly a few drops of rain fell on his face. Followed by the merciless stream of waters pouring on him.

‘He loves you. That’s what you should keep in your mind and heart forever.’

Sehun fell on his knees. He unknowingly sobbed as the tears escaped his eyes, which soon blended with the raindrops that already drenched him. He choked the words that surprisingly pained him just by saying it.

“H-hyung,” he cried, “hyung, hyung..”

____

“Hyung, dad’s lawyer is already waiting for us.”

Luhan opened his eyes slowly. He found his youngest brother, Sehun, standing next to his bed with such a monotonous face. Sometimes he wondered how the magnae in the family managed to grow from a cute little boy into a tall handsome guy like this.

“Have you called Jongin?” Luhan said as he gets off his bed, walking towards the door with Sehun following him behind.

“He’s on his way here.” Sehun answered. “He was busying himself with cleaning stuffs in his apartment.”

Luhan chuckled. He know that, though Jongin looks like a rebellious guy as always, somehow cleaning is one of his talents.

They walked down the stairs and made their way to the living room, a few maids bowed at them as they passed. Then one of the maids opened the door to the living room for them, revealing a man in his thirty, wearing dark grey neat suit and holding a map in his hand. Luhan and Sehun bowed to the man who stood up and bowed at them too. The brothers then took the seat, facing the man.

“As you know, I’m the official lawyer for Oh Sehun and his family.” he said with his deep but soothing voice, “my name is Jung Yunho, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Yunho-ssi,” Luhan said, “I’m Oh Luhan, the eldest of the three.”

“And I’m Oh Sehun Jr., the youngest.” Sehun added.

“Yeah, I have your information in this map of mine,” he gestured at the map, and then gazed at Sehun, “your dad gave you an unusual name, huh?” he chuckled. “Uhm, by the way, where is the second? Oh Jongin?”

“He’s – “

Suddenly they heard the door opened. A tall guy with tan skin appeared and quickly made his way to his brother and bowed to Yunho before he sits next to Sehun.

“I’m so sorry for being late. I was with Kyungin and – “ Jongin stopped when Luhan gives him a glare, “uhm, I mean, I’m sorry for being late.”

Yunho chuckled. “Then I guess the Oh brothers had finally gathered. I should start my explanation for this afternoon.” he said. “As we know, your father passed away for almost two years now. I only came now because the will says that I should read it to you once the youngest of the three turned twenty. And today is exactly a week after your twentieth birthday, right, Sehun?” he said as he turned his gaze to the pale boy in front of him, who’s sitting in the middle of his brothers.

Sehun watched in boredom as the lawyer keep talking and talking. After a few minutes he realized that he’s the only one who hasn’t been paying attention to him. Luhan and Jongin asked a lot of things to Yunho, they discussed. How he wished he’s as smart as Luhan or as critical and logical as Jongin. It’s just him who didn’t say anything, only nodded and nodded. He doesn’t understand what the lawyer said either, he could ask Luhan later.

It’s until a weird will directed to him that he listened to Yunho.

“The last will is for Sehun Jr.” Yunho said, still looking at his map. “Well, it’s not really a will. It’s an order. Or much more a request.”

Luhan and Jongin turned their gazed to their brother.

“Me?” Sehun winced.

“Yes,” Yunho looked at Sehun, and then at his map, “it says here that your father wanted you to go to a cemetery in Beijing every 26^th of November. He wanted you to visit a tomb and bring some white roses along with you so you could put the flowers on it.” he winced at his map, “uhm, I can’t read Chinese, is there any of you who can?”

Luhan raised his hand and took the map as Yunho handed it to him. He read the letters, and then his deer eyes are widened. “Hey, it’s my name!”

“It’s your name??” Jongin asked in horror.

“Uhm, well, not really,” Luhan said, “it’s Xi Luhan.”

“Xi Luhan?” Sehun murmured the name.

“Your father’s bestfriend, the one who saved your father from heart failure, remember?” Yunho asked.

When his brother’s gaze turned to him, Luhan sighed. “He gave his heart to dad. You guys didn’t know the story?”

“Really??” Jongin whispered, “how cool!”

“Dad was dying, and that Xi Luhan became the heart donor for him.” Luhan added again. “But Dad doesn’t know at first. Once he found out, he visited his grave every year at the day of his death anniversary.”

“Hyung, you know so much, why did you got shocked when you saw his name?” Jongin asked in confusion.

“Well, dad never told me his name before.” Luhan murmured.

“Dad even named you with his name, he must’ve been someone special to him.” Sehun commented.

“Boys,” Yunho called them from their chat, “I’m still here, hello?”

The three of them stared at him again.

“If everything’s clear enough for you, then I should be leaving by now. Your mom is waiting for me at the office.” Yunho said. “Luhan, you should take care of the documents before you accepted the CEO place.”

They stood up and bowed to Yunho. After the lawyer disappeared behind the doors, Luhan sighed as he dropped his weight on the couch again.

“I don’t want to be the CEO.” he whispered.

Both Sehun Jr. and Jongin are just staring at him.

“I should try to get a job on my own.” Luhan said as he closed his eyes. “Again.”

“Uncle Kyungsoo refused to give you the waiter job at his restaurant, huh?” Jongin chuckled. “I heard that from Kyungin.”

“Really?” Sehun asked to Jongin, and then stared at his beloved Luhan hyung. “But why?”

Luhan shrugged. “I don’t really remember what he said, I thought he was talking about ‘trauma’ and ‘history’ and something about ‘reconsidering’.”

“Kyungin said Uncle Kyungsoo didn’t want the history to be repeated again.” Jongin murmured.

Luhan winced. “What history?”

“Who the hell knows? I don’t give a sh – care. No, Sehun, I wasn’t using profanity.”

“I didn’t even say anything.”

____

It’s a cold day in autumn. The leaves are sadly falling to the ground, and even got sadder as they watched their friends are falling too. Such a funny thing, because back then in the spring, they were challenging each other to be the prettiest bloom. They should’ve known better in summer that they’re going to be wiped away as the cold breeze blows them. And ironically, the melancholic scene will always be repeated like that, over and over again.

Oh Sehun Jr. is standing in front of a tomb with a bucket of white roses in his left hand, while his right hand is holding his phone. He glanced at his phone screen, and then at the three Chinese letters on the tomb. He glanced again at his phone, and then at the tomb.

I found the right one, he chirped inside.

He put the flowers on the tomb and gazed at it. “Thankyou, uncle Luhan,” Sehun said, “thankyou for giving my dad another life to live. Without you, my dad would’ve gone and I won’t exist in this world. Which is a scary thing, to be honest.”

He chuckled at himself.

“The point is, thank you. You gave us such a beautiful life. And please tell dad that we’re fine and we missed him, if you met him by any chance, of course. Or forget it, just tell him I said hello.”

He was just about to turn around when he saw a guy is standing not so far from him. He has a pair of deer eyes and such a tiny face, with light brown mushroom hair. He would’ve thought it’s his Luhan hyung if only he didn’t remember that Luhan’s hair is short cropped and gelled up. And Luhan is obviously taller than him. Maybe.

After a long silence, Sehun coughed. “Uhm, hi?”

The guy didn’t answer at first. He smiled. A gentle yet melancholic smile.

“You look so much like him.” he said.

Sehun’s heart is beating so fast. The guy even got the same soothing voice as his eldest hyung. “W-who are you??”

The guy smiled. His smile is totally beautiful. It reminds Sehun of his own Luhan hyung. “I’ll tell him you said hello.”

As the cold wind blows, Sehun closed his eyes and shivered. When he opened his eyes again, he found no one in front of him. He’s all alone, which is ridiculous, because he remembered exactly he was talking to someone.

He immediately reached for his phone and dialed Luhan.

___________________________________________________________