Luhan wants to remember, but then he gave up because Sehun told him not to.

Luhan begged for explanation, but then he gave up because Sehun told him it’s better to leave it that way.

Luhan is in a mirage and is desperate for waking up, but then he gave up because Sehun told him he’s going to disappear when he opened his eyes.

_________________________________________________________________________

“Hyung..”

Luhan turned his head on the younger guy. His deer eyes are looking at him innocently. “Hm?”

“If somehow, this moment is just a mirage,” he said, “what will you choose? Wake up or stay?”

“What do you mean, Sehun?” Luhan’s eyebrows are furrowed.

Sehun sighed. He gazed at the night sky above him. “If someday you found out that all of the moments we’ve been through these days are just some kind of mirages, will you want to wake up from it? Or will you stay in it?”

Luhan smiled. A simple question. “I’ll stay in it as long as I can.”

And for that, Sehun could only smile while fighting back his tears.

_________________________________________________________________________

It’s been two years since the last time Luhan stepped into his own apartment. He smiled as he look around. Squeaky clean. It must be his mom who sent someone to clean up the room before he came. Of course, his mom will do anything for his son who fortunately woke up again after being in comatose for more than a year.

Luhan remembered when he woke up a few months ago. He was shocked when his parents told him that he’s in Singapore. He was too shocked. Because the last thing he remembered was his hand intertwined with another hand, slender pale white fingers, when suddenly a giant truck came and then blank. He couldn’t remember anything after that.

He look through the window, to the street down there. He missed that road so much.. He missed the smell of his apartment so much. He missed how the sunlight rushing through his windows every morning like this so so much.

He missed that person so much.

Where is he anyway?

___

Luhan stares at the guy in front of him. Nothing really changed after all. Still the same tan skin with melancholy stare. Well, maybe he grew some inches, making him looks more taller than before. But that smirk never changed at all.

“I heard that you’re already back.” the guy said. “Finally I know why it was so noisy last night.”

Luhan could never hide his smile everytime he see him. His best friend. His sarcastic neighbor who lived just right next to his apartement. “Jongin!!”

Kim Jongin’s smirk grows wider. “Missed me that much?”

“Why did you never contacted me back then?! How dare you?!”

“I did.” Jongin said while lazily moves into the room. “With your mom.”

“Geez.” Luhan sighed.

Jongin simply lay his back onto the couch, staring at Luhan’s neat white polo shirt and navy blue jeans. “Where are you going?”

“Kyungsoo’s café.” Luhan answered as he gazed at Jongin’s thin figure. The guy is obviously growing more thinner than before. “Wondering if I could get my old job back.”

“Are you kidding me? You could always tell your dad to take your CEO job at the company and he’s dying to give you the job, why torturing your self with working as a waiter??” Jongin snorted. That’s how he is. Always blunt.

Luhan lifted his shoulder. “Because I’m already used to it, I guess?”

Jongin chuckled. “So so Luhan. Always trying to live normally when his life is never going to be normal at all.”

“Go to hell, Jongin.” Luhan murmured the words that didn’t really match with his innocent face. He turned back and walked towards the front door. “I’m going now.”

“See you later.” Jongin waved his hand, didn’t give any hint of movement for leaving.

Luhan frowned. “You’re going to stay in my apartment, really?”

“What’s wrong with that? You used to be the one who told me to babysit your precious castle right here.” Jongin said as he spread his arms dramatically. “Besides, I slept on your bed a lot while you’re in Singapore.”

“You have my keys?!!” Luhan screamed.

“Well, yes, your mom gave it to me before she went to Singapore with your dad.” Jongin explained. He waved at every directions. “You should thank me for keeping your apartment so squeaky clean like this.”

Luhan feels his jaw almost dropped. “You’re the one who cleaned my apartment?! You, the Kim Jongin?!!” he asked in awe. Kim Jongin has never been a neat one. But judging by how clean the room is, well, maybe he found another talent besides dancing and sarcasm. Luhan signaled him with a stare of thankyou.

“Too much questions. I hate it. Now just go. Shooh!” Jongin lazily stood up and pushed Luhan gently to the front door, Jongin’s very way of signaling you’re welcome. “Don’t forget to buy some ramen because I’m going to be desperately starving in the next few hours.”

Luhan rolled his eyes. “Take care of my precious castle.”

Jongin suddenly laughed. Not a sarcastic laugh. Just a natural laugh. “So happy  to hear that again.”

____

“Welcome to D.O. Café!” a girl chirped as Luhan passed the glass doors. He look at her. Maybe she’s a new employee. Luhan gives her a nice smile and then walk slowly across the room, trying to find a guy with round eyes – the owner.

He stares around at the interiors and the wallpapers. It’s all changed, but still gives the same vibe as what the owner always want. Neat and comfy. The seats are brand new. There are some additional drinks at the menu list. Luhan smiled. He always loved this place ever since the soft opening, and fortunately the owner is his best friend too – technically Jongin’s ‘soulmate’. Giving the waiter job to Luhan was a long debate. Of course the owner didn’t want to give the only son of one of the richest man in Asia a little job. But the boy insisted, and the owner could never say no to him. So he worked as a waiter for almost a year. Almost a year, if it’s not because the accident.

Suddenly a hand tapped Luhan’s shoulder gently. “You’re back!!”

“Mr. Owner!!” Luhan chirped as he hang his right arm around the guy’s shoulder. “How are you, Kyungsoo?!”

Do Kyungsoo chuckled. “Shouldn’t I be the one who asked you that? How are you?”

“Still alive.” Luhan answered with a fair smile.

“And you’re here to celebrate it?” Kyungsoo asked innocently.

Luhan shook his head. “I want my old job back.”

Kyungsoo laughed awkwardly after a bit of silence. “Oh, Luhan, you’re always straight to the point. Why don’t you have a nice seat first?” he gestured over the nearest couch. “At least we have to talk about it with a glass of hot chocolate and croissant. Oh, no no, for you, a special chocolate bubble tea as always.”

Luhan grinned, following Kyungsoo’s steps and sit down at the comfy couch. Not so long after that, a glass of chocolate bubble tea already smiled at him, waiting to be drank by the deer eyed boy.

“So, I’m going to tell you that unfortunately there’s no empty place for waiters and waitresses here.” Kyungsoo said before he sips his hot chocolate.

Luhan frowned. “Damn.”

“But you could take the night shift for cashier.” Kyungsoo added.

“No. I want to be a waiter!”

“Well it’s up to you. That’s the only thing I could offer to you.” Kyungsoo put the cup back on the table. “Luhan, why don’t you just take the CEO place? Once you do it, everything’s clear. You don’t need to ask me to give you a job like this.”

“But I still want to be a waiter, at least for a few months before my dad blabbers about it again.”

Kyungsoo chuckled. “It’s just so you. Always trying to live normally when your life is never going to be normal at all.”

“You sounds just like Jongin.” Luhan cringed.

“Really??” Kyungsoo asked in excitement, then he sighed, “well I haven’t been seeing him these days. He hasn’t been picking up my calls, so I couldn’t find him. Glad to know he’s still alive. Geez.”

“You should meet him and feed him as much as you can. He has became more thinner than I remembered.” Luhan explained.

Kyungsoo stares at him for a very long minute. He stared at him as his mind argues about something complicated. After a long debate inside, finally Kyungsoo speaks again. “Oh, really?” he said.

“Uhm, yes.” Luhan who didn’t even noticed the changes on Kyungsoo’s face is keep drinking his bubble tea. “I’m so worried about him.”

“I’ll just go to his apartment and bring some soup.” Kyungsoo concluded. “Gotcha, Kim Jongin!”

“So, do I got my job back?” Luhan stared at his friend with a lots of hopes.

Kyungsoo smiled. His eyes are softened.

“No.”

___

Luhan was about to walk through the corridor to his front door when suddenly his eyes caught a silhouette not so far away. His heart is telling him that he know who is it already, but his mind told him to better check on it first. So he decided to walk slowly, assuring himself about who’s the one who is still standing right next to his door. Then he skips a heartbeat away. He don’t even know how to act right now. Smile? Cry? Or just freezing?

The other guy is also staring at him. His eyes looks empty, but if he looked at it again, it seems like the guy is looking at him with a lots of questions too. As if he’s wondering why is Luhan standing right in front of him, why is Luhan staring at him, why is Luhan looks so fragile with tears filling the corner of his eyes.

“S-Sehun..” Luhan let out his voice, “Sehun-ah!”

Oh Sehun didn’t move at all. He’s still staring at Luhan, his eyebrows are furrowed. Sehun blinked twice before he could speak too. His voice is surprisingly hoarse, as if he’s not even sure if he could talk to the other guy. “Hyung? Luhan hyung?”

“Sehun!!!” just in a blink of an eye, Luhan jumped into Sehun’s embrace. Well actually he’s the one who hugged him. Sehun is still freezing, not sure about how to react. As if he’s still assuring himself that it’s his Luhan hyung who’s hugging him right now.

“Are you okay?! Gosh it’s been a very very very long time!!!” Luhan blabbered, “well actually not but – whatever, I mean, how are you??”

“H-hyung, you…” there’s a long silent pause between his phrases, “uhm, y-you’re back??”

“Of course I’m – wait, my mom, she hasn’t told you?” Luhan asked.

Sehun shook his head in slow motion.

“Hey, are you okay? Are you feeling sick? You looks so fragile.” Luhan asked. “Why are you standing in front of my door?”

“Come inside!!” Luhan said in excitement. Sehun awkwardly nodded and got in first as soon as Luhan opened the door. Luhan could smell Sehun’s perfume when he passed in front of him. Out of nowhere, Luhan smiled widely.

Gosh, he missed him so much.

At least he’s here.

___

“You were never contacting me even once.” Luhan said as he straightly looked at Sehun.

Sehun sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, no one contacted me either, so I’ll forgive you.” Luhan said. “Do you even know how much I missed you? Do you even missed me?”

“I’m sorry.” Sehun said again. In more sorrowful way. “I missed you too.”

Luhan chuckled. “What were you doing when I’m not here?”

Sehun paused before he answered with a pure honesty. “Uhm, just wandering around, I guess.”

“Good.” Luhan laughed.

There’s a long silence before Sehun speaks again. “Ehm, Hyung, will you do me a favor?”

“What is it?” Luhan asked.

“Nothing complicated, actually.” Sehun said. “Just, don’t tell anyone that you met me. I’m in the middle of running from everyone right now.”

Luhan winced. “Huh? You mean, hiding from everyone else?? Including Jongin and Kyungsoo?”

“Everyone else.” Sehun stated again.

Luhan nodded as he pouted. “So I’m the only one who know that you’re around?”

“Technically yes.” Sehun smiled.

“Well, good then!” Luhan chirped. “I guess I’m still a special one to you.”

Sehun grinned. “You’ll always be.”

“But then, why?” Luhan asked the next night. They’re sitting on the grass at the park near their apartment. Sehun’s face is glowing under the moonlight. The view Luhan always loved.

“Well, as I said yesterday, I’m in the middle of running from everyone.”

“I know, but why? Why are you running away?”

Sehun sighed. “Maybe I’m just too tired to be in their life.”

“That’s not acceptable.” Luhan murmured. “You were the one who always tried to be in their sight. Why running away now?”

“As I said before, I’m tired for being always in their sight.” Sehun answered monotonously.

“What about me? What about mine?” Luhan asked.

Sehun stared at him. “You need me too much. You can’t lose me. I know it.”

“Says the one who once stated that he needs me more than he needs bubble tea.” Luhan craved an evil smile on his lips. Sehun chuckled at the guy next to him, then gazed at the night sky again. He could feel the cold air brushing on his cheeks. Cold, but somehow he feel so warm right now.

___

“Say it again please?” Luhan said while chewing his sandwich.

Jongin coughed. “Uhm, do you have any memory loss? You know, minor amnesia because of the latest accident.” he asked.

Luhan frowned. “I don’t think so. Why?”

“Nothing.” Jongin shook his head. “Just curious.”

“Did I forgot anything?” Luhan’s the one who asked this time.

Jongin didn’t answered directly. “Uhm, nothing actually.” he murmured. “Well, yes, a couple things, maybe you’ve forgot, but maybe it’s because you didn’t know at all, but it’s not really important.”

“Oh damn, really?? What are they??” Luhan cried. No one ever told him that he’s suffering a minor amnesia or something like that. No one confirmed to him.

“Uhm, as example, you asked Kyungsoo to give you the old job.” jongin started.

“But what’s wrong with that?”

Jongin cringed. “You’re the one who gave up on it. You said you’ve already accepted the offer to be the new CEO at your dad’s company. You fought with Kyungsoo, which he regretted so much because if only he didn’t fight with you, you would never storm out from the café to the street and you would never… well, you know the rest.” he explained in such a low voice, as if he don’t want the stuffs around him to hear that, as if he’s sharing a dark secret with Luhan. “He was shocked when you said you want the old job back.”

Luhan didn’t even realize his mouth is slowly opened. “But why did I accepted the CEO thing? Did I changed into someone awful??”

“No no of course not. You agreed with your dad because you guys talked about it seriously until you decided that you’re going to help him.” Jongin said as he sits properly on the couch. “You’ve always considered the job as a temptation, but soon you realized that it’s actually a worthy help for your dad. And Kyungsoo is totally really fine with that. He was just scared that maybe you’ve already became someone greedy. But he was exaggerating, as always.”

But no one told me that when I woke up, Luhan sighed. “What else I’ve forgot?”

Jongin swallowed an imaginary lump. “I don’t think there’s more…”

“Really?” Luhan asked, trying to look at Jongin in the eye.

The other boy nodded. “Yup. And I think you can find it yourself. I’ll help, but you should try to find it yourself. It will be… more memorable.”

Luhan stared at the skinny tanned guy for a really long minute. His mind is debating whether he should ask the question he eagerly wanted to ask or leave the choice because maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t ask it either. But in the end, the words escaped from his lips, echoed into a bit long silence, frozen, blended with the air around him.

“Jongin,” he started, “did you quarreled with Sehun?”

The deer eyed Luhan didn’t noticed the change in Jongin’s face. Darker. And darker. Jongin’s face is still the same – he got this poker face that looks unreadable for strangers, but for Luhan who know him too much, he can sense that Jongin is dealing with the question difficultly, and he couldn’t figure out why.

“No.” Jongin answered. “I – we didn’t. Why?”

Luhan nodded. He know Jongin is not lying. But there’s something weird with his tone. Well, he’s happy either. Jongin and Sehun are too close to quarrel and made Sehun shut himself from him. They’re a really close cousins ever since they’re still toddlers. Jongin even hated Luhan at the first time when Sehun became more closer to him in their elementary school times. But till now, Jongin has became one of the most important persons in Luhan’s complicated yet happy life. Yes, he’s one of those persons, and the number one is no other than Oh Sehun himself.

“I don’t even know why I’m asking about it.” Luhan grinned. “You should get back, I’m going to sleep now.”

“Can I sleep with you? I’m already attached to your bed, actually.” Jongin let out a sheepish smile.

Luhan smiled sweetly to him. “Hell no.”

______

“Have you ever thought that maybe you’re living in a mirage?”

It’s been a week since Luhan found Sehun in front of his apartment door. Luhan need to admit that the pale white skinned guy didn’t change at all. His cool yet sometimes sweet antics are still the same. His poker face is still the same. His lisp is still the same. His tiny smile is still the same. Even his height, weight, hair style, it hasn’t changed at all. Sehun is precisely looks like what Luhan had always remembered in his deepest sleep, in his daily mind-lost, in every particle of his memory. Weird, but Luhan didn’t even care.

Luhan is still frowning at Sehun’s out-of-sudden question. “I don’t think I have.”

Sehun smiled. He smiled. “I thought about it once. And it’s scary.”

“Scary?”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s scary to find out that you’re actually living a lie, to find out that you’re living something that is not exactly the truth. Surrounded by lies and mirages. A mirage itself.”

“But I thought mirage is something you’ll see in deserts..?” Luhan asked innocently, as always.

Sehun chuckled. “I don’t think I need to answer that.”

“But what do you mean by that?” Luhan asked again, as he gazed down to Sehun’s slender fingers, suddenly feeling an urge to grab it in his own hand.

Sehun, as if he could read Luhan’s mind, slowly lifting his hand at took Luhan’s instead. He gazed at the nights sky above them. The cold breeze crushing through his skin. They’re in the rooftop of the apartment building. Their secret spot, or that’s what they named it. They’re laying on the floor they had covered with thick blanket.

Sehun closed his eyes gently. “Hyung..”

 “Hm?” Luhan said as he looked at him.

There’s a tiny silence before Sehun spoke again. “If somehow, this moment is just a mirage,” he said, “what will you choose? Wake up or stay?”

“What do you mean, Sehun?” Luhan’s eyebrows are furrowed. He can’t understand this boy’s sudden obsession with mirages.

The latter sighed. “If someday you found out that all of the moments we’ve been through these days are just some kind of mirages, will you want to wake up from it? Or will you stay in it?”

Luhan smiled. He’s confused, but somehow the answer is already trying to find its way to escape from his lips. A simple question. “I’ll stay in it as long as I can.” he said. As long as I have you in it.

Luhan closed his eyes gently, failed to notice a stream of salty liquid from Sehun’s eyes because his eyes are already closed and his lips lets out a hum.

____

After that weird night, Luhan found that Sehun is getting more weirder. He became a bit obsessive about mirages and memories. He’s staying at Luhan’s apartment at night and gone nowhere when sun is cockily rushing through Luhan’s fair skin. And Jongin is nowhere to be found these days, and so does Kyungsoo. It seems like everyone is getting far away from him. Thank God that Sehun is always there at night, ready to listen to every single sobs of Luhan missing his best friends. But then, in the end, it’s always Sehun who sounds like always going to crack in tears.

‘Hyung, please never forget me.’ Sehun always murmured that words.

‘Hyung, don’t ditch me away someday.’ Sehun always murmured that words too.

‘Hyung, please remember me.’ Sehun always murmured that words even more often.

And finally, in a crucial day that Luhan distinctly remembered he never wished for, he found the answer.

Jongin appears for the very first time in a whole three months. That guy looks a bit healthier now. But Luhan can’t help noticing that the guy’s skin is getting whiter. No, paler. He remembered Sehun, but well, that guy’s skin is already pale since the very first time they met.

“Where the hell have you been??” Luhan snorted. “Do you have any idea how worried I was?? You disappeared for three months and suddenly you’re here, in my apartment, without a sound, standing in front of me??”

Jongin’s eyes are widened. At first Luhan thought that Jongin is shocked because of Luhan’s words, but then it seems like Jongin is more shocked because Luhan is talking to him.

“You..” Jongin murmured, “you can – “

Just right then, Jongin saw Sehun standing next to Luhan. And Luhan don’t even know what’s with their sudden appearance, it’s like they can move without a sound.

“Sehun??” Jongin sounds like he’s too shocked. “What are you doing here??”

Sehun is not doing better either. “J-Jongin?? “

It took a whole minute for Jongin to finally understand everything. “Oh God, Sehun,” Jongin said in shock, “don’t tell me that you’re – “

“Not now, Jongin, please don’t – “

“You lowlife bastard! How could you do this to him?! How long has it been?!!”

“Jongin, I warned you, please – “

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??” Luhan screamed. Both Jongin and Sehun immediately turned to him, who’s trying to inhale and exhale normally.

“Oh Sehun, you’re not supposed to be here anymore!” finally Jongin snapped.

Sehun sniffed. “Says the one who should’ve left right away because he’s not belong here.”

“What the heck is wrong with you guys?!” Luhan asked in desperation, “why did you guys fight??”

“What??” Jongin turned his head at Luhan and then back to Sehun, “you brat, you told him that we were fighting??”

“No! I told him we weren’t!” Sehun answered in stress.

“So what the heck is going on, then?? Sehun, you were isolating yourself from Jongin and Kyungsoo. And Jongin, you were disappearing like three whole month! And that Do freaking Kyungsoo didn’t answered my call even once! Now just explain or I’m seriously going to flip some tables!!” Luhan finally stopped when he realized that he needed air. He’s always like that, once he burst out, he’ll burst like hell.

Jongin stared at Sehun. “You bastard. How could you dragged him into your game?!”

“For God’s sake, it’s not a game!!” Sehun became so sick of Jongin’s statement.

“Then why did you keep showing up in front of him and ruining his life?!!”

“Who knows he could see me back then?!!”

“So why if I could see you back then??” Luhan interrupted.

“You’re not supposed to ruin his life, Sehun, you know that.” Jongin said that in a deep dark voice, sending thousands of knives stabbing into Sehun’s deepest heart. The latter couldn’t even fight back. Every word of Kim Jongin is truly right.

“What’s with ruining my life and seeing him??” Luhan asked eagerly to Jongin.

Then Jongin starts his voice. “Sehun was already – “

Suddenly Luhan’s phone is ringing and Jongin swear he could’ve just grab it and toss it away from the window.

“Do Kyungsoo, what a nice of you, calling me after three whole month of rejecting my calls?!?!” Luhan snapped right away, but then he frowned when he heard a weird sound from the line. Like, sobbing, if Luhan could match sobs with Kyungsoo’s sunny face. “Kyungsoo? Are you crying?”

“Are you in your apartment right now?” Kyungsoo asked that with hoarse voice. He has been crying indeed.

“Well, yes, but what happened? Did something happened?” Luhan now said it with worry.

“Is that Kyungsoo?” Jongin asked in a whisper, like spelling Kyungsoo’s name is the most painful word to him.

“Yes, it’s your soulmate, Do Kyungsoo.” Luhan said out loud, wincing when Sehun cringed and Jongin harshly shook his head, whispering a ‘don’t!!!’ to Luhan.

“What?” Kyungsoo’s voice sounds confused.

Luhan coughed. “They’re here and I don’t even know why they’re telling me not to mention their name to you. Seriously, I’m totally sick of this isolation things.”

“What are you talking about?” Kyungsoo still confused, “nevermind. I’m calling you because I really need to apologize to you because I rejected your calls and didn’t tell you about what happened. But Jongin…” his voice became more shaky and when the name escaped from his lips, Luhan could tell that he’s in the verge of cyring.

“What’s with him?” Luhan said, narrowing his eyes to Jongin who seems so afraid of him talking to Kyungsoo. The boy keep murmuring ‘no, no no’.

“He’s gone, Luhan..” finally Kyungsoo said it. “Jongin has gone.”

“What the hell are you trying to play with me?!” Luhan finally snapped again, looking furiously at Jongin and Sehun. “Seriously, what I’ve done so bad that three of you played a game like this?!”

“W-what?? What are you talking about?!”

“You, Jongin, and Sehun. You guys are driving me crazy!!”

“Sehun?!?!” Kyungsoo sounds so shocked because of the name.

“Yes, Sehun!!” Luhan said, “first he came up and said that he’s pulling himself away from you and Jongin. And then Jongin disappeared for three months and you didn’t even bothered to answer my call. Now Jongin and Sehun shown up in front of me and keep yelling at each other. Seriously, I’m gonna – “

"Luhan, please don't fooling around with me."

"I'm not freaking fooling around with you!!"

“But Luhan,” Kyungsoo finally cried. He cried so badly. “Jongin has died this morning, Sehun is still in coma, how could they meet you and talking to you?!”

______

Luhan takes everything from Kyungsoo like a five years old kid shoved with geometrics and algebraics by his mom. He barely managed to sit properly, to set his ears properly to hear Kyungsoo’s explanation – mostly with sobs. And next to Kyungsoo is Jongin and Sehun, standing, frozing, and tried to add their explanation on everything Kyungsoo said whenever the doe-eyed boy is calming himself down. Everything sounds so extremely insane for him.

So he got the minor amnesia indeed. He had forgot that he wasn’t the only victim of the traffic accident about two years ago. He was with Sehun. And Jongin was also there. It was supposed to be just Luhan and Sehun, but Jongin who was there in front of Kyungsoo’s café immediately stormed into the street to save them. Three of them got hit by the giant truck. Jongin was safe, or that’s what they assumed. Meanwhile, Luhan and Sehun are in comatose.

Luhan’s parents, who wants the best for their son, sent him to Singapore for another medication. Sehun’s parents, who didn’t really got that luxury and dollars, tried their best to maintain their son’s life as long as they could. Jongin, a loner who thought he was fine, finally got the news from the doctors that he’s dying because of brain cancer that caused by the accident.

Sehun was still in comatose even for now, meanwhile his soul was wandering around for two years in front of Luhan’s apartment, hoping that someday his hyung would show up. And he finally did. But what Sehun didn’t expect, was that somehow Luhan could see wandering souls. Luhan could see him. And even touch him and hugged him. So, Sehun acted like he’s a human for real. Luhan is not that aware either, he didn’t noticed how Sehun never get sweaty, how Sehun never eat, how Sehun barely breath. Because all that matters to Luhan was Sehun’s existence right next to him.

Meanwhile, Jongin was still dying and getting more worse. Kyungsoo who know all of that finally decided to bring Jongin to his apartment and made that boy stay. The first month was good. When they entered the second month, at a sunny day, Kyungsoo found Jongin laying at the floor powerlessly. So Jongin got sent into the hospital, and keep getting worse by the day, until he finally can’t move and speak, and he can even barely see, and got into comatose for a week before his soul bid his body a cool goodbye. Yes, a cool goodbye to his body, but a crucial please don’t cry to Kyungsoo. Considering that he need to see Luhan too before he’s really gone, he went to Luhan’s apartment.

That’s when he saw Sehun is wandering in front of Luhan’s apartment too. Sehun, who shocked because Jongin could see him, get more shocked that Jongin has already dead, moving one step forward from him. But Sehun wasn’t being truly honest to him. Sehun didn’t told him that Luhan could see him and even had a nice months with him. That’s why Jongin burst out in anger when he could sense without Sehun being bothered to tell him that Oh Sehun is interrupting Luhan’s life by keep showing in front of him.

“If you really can see Jongin, please…” Kyungsoo said, “please tell him that I’ll be just fine. Really, I’ll be just fine.”

Luhan didn’t said anything. He know Jongin is already listening. And he decided to turn his head away instead of seeing Kyungsoo hunching in the couch, trying hard to suppress his tears, while Jongin is not doing any better. But then he winced. Suddenly he felt his heart stops beating. His eyes are widened.

Where the heck is Oh Sehun??

_____

“Luhan?? You’re really Luhan??” the old woman gazed at Luhan in awe. “Oh, son, we’ve been waiting for you like forever!”

Luhan let out a forced smile. “I’m sorry, auntie. No one told me about Sehun. I.. I got minor amnesia.”

“But it’s really good to see you like this.” she said with a sincere relief. “Jongin has already gone, now Sehun, he only had you.”

There’s a long silence before words escaped from his mouth. “Can I see him?” Luhan asked.

The old women smiled. A melancholy, tired smile. “Sure, why not?”

Luhan stared at the body in front of him. He couldn’t understand the machines and stuffs all over the body. He couldn’t even understand how the body could stay still like that, when in his memory, that body was still laughing with him the day before.

“Sehun…” Luhan whispered.

“Uhm, yes?”

Luhan turned around and saw Sehun there. Smiling awkwardly to him. And the words after that crushed Luhan’s heart into pieces. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” Luhan said in hoarse voice.

“For lying to you. For ruining your life. For showing up in front of you when I should’ve not.” Sehun said, “for making you living a mirage.”

“I won’t wake up.” Luhan stated, suddenly recalled their conversation about that mirage things. He had stated that he won’t wake up from the mirage of him and Sehun.

“You need to.”

“But you’re going to disappear!!”

“But that’s how it works, hyung.” Sehun said. Luhan can’t even understand why that word ‘hyung’ sounds so aching to him. “Besides, if you let me go, I’ll just need to go back into my physical body and wake up.”

“Like directly??” Luhan asked.

Sehun shrugged. “Maybe in days. In weeks. Or in months. Or even years.” he said. Then he stared straightly at Luhan. “I’ve waited for you for two years. Will you wait for me for another two years?”

“Will it be two years for you to wake up?” Luhan asked. Of course he’ll wait, but is it really going to be two years?

Sehun smiled. “Will you wait for me for another two years, hyung?”

The next second for Luhan is a blur, blinding, weird scene.

____

Two years later..

Luhan stared nervously at the white door in front of him. He’s been there like forever. He has been coming back routinely to that place in two years. He only need to open the knob and get in. But he’s just too nervous. Too nervous that he can’t even stand straight.

‘He woke up!’ that’s what Kyungsoo said when they met at the cemetery, when they were visiting Jongin, gazing at his tomb. ‘His mom is going to call you sooner. What a good day, Jongin would be so happy too if he’s here.’

And Kyungsoo was right. Not so long after that, Sehun’s mom called him, telling him that he really need to come because his son is finally back, and Luhan is a good start for him. Well, is he? He's not sure about that anymore.

Because the next second after he opened the door and walked towards Sehun who's staring blankly at him, he felt like his world is starting to crumble.

“I’m sorry,” the voice he missed so much finally can be heard again. “Who are you?”

_________________