As soon as he made eye-contact with me, however, he seemed jarred from his stupor. “A-ah, Seunghyun,” he stuttered, recoiling slightly. I stared at him, heartbroken. Why did he recoil when he saw me…?

“It’s okay Jiyong, I’m here. It’s okay now,” Taeyang said, gently rubbing Jiyong’s back.

At this, I reached my breaking point. With one swift motion, I shut the door behind me as I stalked out of the room.

--

Jiyong.

 I widened my eyes as I realized what I had just done. Seunghyun’s face contorted in pain as I shifted away from him, and he swiftly exited the room. I was recoiling in shock, I screamed in my head as if it would reach him.

Melting in Taeyang’s arms, I was overcome by tears. I had wanted to make up all the hurt I caused him, but now I just sent him off again, bearing a new wound inflicted by yours truly.

I heard Taeyang’s voice, soft and gentle. “Ji, are you okay? Aigoo, that Seunghyun didn’t call for help at all, and now you’ve gotten to such a bad condition... Are you sure you’re okay?”

I weakly nodded my head, wishing I could treat Seunghyun like Taeyang treated me. “How are you so caring all the time? How do you have the ability to be so calming and nice, Bae?”

He chuckled, ruffling my hair. “It’s because I care for you, Ji. You’re my best friend, after all. How could I not be caring?”

I pouted, disappointed that I didn’t find my answer to take care of Seunghyun. I looked up at my friend, grateful that he was there to help. “Thanks, Bae.”

I got up from the bed, still a bit groggy from sleep. “Can we eat? I’m really hungry,” I said as my stomach growled.

Laughing again, Taeyang stood up from his chair and tugged me by the arm. “This way, Ji.”

I followed him into the kitchen where he quickly cooked some food for me and I accepted it gratefully. “Wow,” I said between bites, “Taeyang can do anything!”

He laughed again, hugging me. “Ah, I’m so glad you’re back. I missed you, ya know?”

Wiping the sauce from my face, I returned the hug. “Glad to be back.”

Unbeknownst to the two friends, their laughter and joy were wounding another.

--

Happy and satisfied, Jiyong soon drifted off to a peaceful sleep that he missed and welcomed. Wrapped in blankets, he thought to himself, Now only if Seunghyun were next to me, then it would be truly a perfect night.

The next morning, Jiyong woke up surprisingly early. Stumbling down the hallway while rubbing his eyes, Jiyong heard his friend’s voice and was about to call out to him when he heard his name.

 “ –re you doing with Jiyong? What were you thinking, endangering his life like that?” Taeyang demanded, his voice strained with anger.

Jiyong peeked into the living room and saw Taeyang standing in front of Seunghyun who was slumped on the couch, head lowered and shoulders rolled forward. “I-I know it was wrong of me t—“

He was cut off by an irate Taeyang. “He could have died, Seunghyun. He could have never woken up if I hadn’t arrived in time.”

Seunghyun swallowed and slouched even further.

“I’m sorry, but as a friend of Jiyong, I just can’t let you approach him – not in that way.”

Jiyong immediately snapped to attention, alerted by Taeyang’s words. Not in that way? What did he mean by that?

Seunghyun sighed, letting his head fall into his hands. “I know I’m too irresponsible to take care of anyone – even myself – but I can’t help but to love him.”

Stumbling down the hallway and back to his room, Jiyong was shocked by Seunghyun’s confession. Even after all I did to him… he loves me?

Jiyong collapsed on the bed, weighed by guilt and confused beyond belief.

--

Jiyong.

I woke up later that day, and didn’t feel at all better. I picked myself off my bed and trudged to the bathroom, reluctant to leave my warm bed and the comfort it gave me.

Once in the bathroom, I stared at my reflection. To others, I was one of the most blessed people in the world – I possessed fame, money, and I got to do what I loved every day. But all I saw was a murderer.

I had hurt so many people in so many different ways and on different occasions, and I did nothing to make it up.

And I couldn’t.

So much of me wanted to just burst into Seunghyun’s room and throw myself into his arms, beg for forgiveness and hope he would take me back, but I was a coward.

I was scared of rejection. Not of Seunghyun’s, but my own. I knew that once I was in Seunghyun’s arms, I would curse myself all day long, weighed by guilt and shame that I knew I could never shed.

A voice snapped me out of my self-pity session and I quickly splashed water on my face, dried it and walked out of the bathroom.

“Jiyong-hyung, are you here?”

I looked up, surprised to see Daesung. Didn’t he hate me for taking away his perfect partner? “Hey Dae, what’s up? I didn’t expect you to visit me,” I said as casually as possible.

Daesung’s look softened as he crossed the room and brought me into a hug.

I was shocked. What was he doing, hugging a wretch? What was an angel doing, embracing hell spawn?

“Ji, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, okay?” Daesung said, slowly rubbing my back.

“W-what? What are you…” I was cut off as a tear slipped down my face. “Why am I crying?”

Daesung pulled away from the hug and wiped off my tears with a tissue I didn’t know he had. “Jiyong, I know you feel guilty for hurting Seunghyun, but I also know that you love him, and he loves you.”

Daesung paused, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t think even for a second you’re not deserving of love. People make mistakes, and everything you’ve done up till now was with good intentions at heart, and that’s all that matters. Let go of your guilt, Jiyong, and embrace hope and happiness.”

I was at a loss for words. How did Daesung – when did he – how the heck did he figure out all this by himself? He must be a genius, I thought. “I’ll try my best.”

Daesung smiled and said, “That’s all you need to do. Everything else will fall into place.”

I nodded, hugging Daesung one more time. “Thanks, Dae.”

“Anytime, Ji. Just give me a call or something,” Daesung said, taking his leave.

The door clicked shut and I slowly sank into a chair.

But… how do I forgive myself?

--

Seunghyun.

It had been a few days after Jiyong had woken up, and every time I saw him he avoided my eyes and walked away. His cold attitude toward me hurt at first, but after a while I grew to accept it. I sighed, wanting to somehow fix the problem and take Jiyong back into my arms, but at the same time I knew it wasn’t that easy. I had to win back Jiyong’s trust and affection before I could take him back completely.

The phone rang, startling me from my thoughts. Manager calling, the screen read.

Reluctantly, I moved to pick up my phone and answer the call. “Yoboseyo?”

“So, I heard Jiyong is completely functioning now.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing what he would say next. “Yes, he’s fine now.”

“Good. You have a drama shoot starting from tomorrow and continuing until the spring.”

I groaned, not wanting to resume my former busy life. “Thanks for being the harbinger of bad news.”

“That’s not all of it,” my manager said. “The shoot is in Japan.”

--

Jiyong.

I woke up to the rising sun and regretted I did. Though I had been lounging around for the past month, I still felt sleep deprived, probably from all of the all-nighters in my trainee years.

More than that, however, I regretted I was awake because I had to face my thoughts when I was conscious.

I had been avoiding Seunghyun for the past few days, and I knew I was being childish. It was stupid of me to be restrained purely from my guilt, just like Daesung said, and I knew I should just confess that the only reason I was holding back was because I felt I had hurt Seunghyun.

I checked my watch: 5:30 am. It wasn’t so early that Seunghyun would get seriously mad at me for waking him up, and it was early enough that the rest of the members wouldn’t be awake. Satisfied by my God-given timing, I slowly made my way down the hallway to Seunghyun’s room when I heard someone at the door.

I rushed down, ready to catch the culprit who dared to break into our dorm.

What I saw, however, was not a thief. It was Seunghyun.

Surprised, I could only utter, “Why are you up so early?” No, no, no! I screamed at myself. You have to ask to talk to him! You have to tell him your feelings!

“Ah, Jiyong,” Seunghyun said, voice void of emotion. “I’m actually on my way to Japan right now; I have a drama shoot there until the spring.”

Looking at my shocked face, he tilted his head back and let out a long sigh. “Yeah, I know, it’s quite a while. The way they work us is sad, isn’t it?” He looked at his watch and grabbed his suitcase. “I have a plane to catch. I’ll talk to you later, Jiyong!”

My voice iced in my throat. Seunghyun… was leaving? “Wai–”

“See you! Wish me a safe flight!”

And with that, he was gone.

Gone until spring, I thought. I didn’t even tell him…

Sinking to my knees, I felt lost and I needed a savior. Just when I was determined to tell him everything, he leaves. Fate itself is working against us, isn’t it?

As if on cue, Jiyong’s phone vibrated.

New text from Manager-hyung, the phone read.

Sighing, I picked up the phone and read the text.

_______________________________________________

Hey Jiyong,

Glad to hear you’re better now!

Make sure you come to the YG studio today at 7:00.

We have some work to catch up on since you were out for so long.

See you then!

-          Your manager

______________________________________________

“Too late,” I muttered to myself. “I was too late.”

--

A return to the short chapters. I have finals soon so I'll be out for a while.

Sorry for giving you such a short chapter before a hiatus D:

Hope you enjoyed the chapter~