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CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE

❝HOLDINGON❞

Sunggyuhad seen his fair share of horror during his times in the military. He had grown close to many only to see them die before his very eyes. Not only did he have his enemies’ blood on his hands but his comrades too. Not a day would go by that Sunggyu would find himself washing his hands over and over again, cleaning the blood away till his skin felt raw and turned pink. He would stare at his reflection for hours on end, telling himself that it was alright.

It’s over.

You’re safe.

You don’t have to worry anymore.

Everything will be alright.

It’s been six years.

It’s been six years, and Sunggyu still finds himself waking up in a cold sweat, his dreams plagued by the dead. Everywhere he looked, everywhere he turned he would see their faces, the ones he promised impossible promises to. He was tormented by his past mistakes, and even now, no longer a general in the army but the leader of a rebellion fighting against the ones he had once called his friends–best friends– he was still scared. With every decision he made, he questioned his very existence.

Why?

Why him?

Sunggyu was only twenty three years old and the fate of hundreds laid on his shoulders with every breath he took. The stress alone made his body wrack with sobs when he believed no one was around to see and listen. With every step he took, the long, loud, piercing screams of his allies constantly ringed in his ears, and it took all of his strength to not squeeze the trigger on himself.

Why Sunggyu?

He didn’t ask for this. He didn’t ask to have the military break down his doors, destroy his home, and brutally kill his mother. He didn’t ask to be taken like the rest of the orphans into military custody. He didn’t ask to be trained and become a dog of the military.

He was just a kid.

He didn’t want to live in a world like this, but he made promises. He promised impossible promises to dead people, and Sunggyu didn’t go back on his words.

Sunggyu saw a lot of his younger, naïve, innocent self in Woohyun sometimes. He often wondered what kind of person he would had grown up to be if he was raised in a time like Woohyun’s. Boohyun had shared many stories about his world, and Sunggyu was envious.

He wanted to live in a world where he could sleep peacefully at night and not be reminded about his failures around every corner. He wanted to live in a world where he could go to college and major in something useless but enjoy it nonetheless. He wanted to live in a world where he could fall deeply in love and not have nightmares of watching them die before your very eyes.

Sunggyu had seen his fair share of horror during his times in the military, but he would never get used to walking into a room filled with the bodies of people he knew, people he loved.

Sunggyu felt lightheaded as he took a step into the apartment. The place was in ruins. Everything was demolished. Glass littered the ground. Chairs and shelves were turned upside down.

And red painted the walls.

The first body he saw was Sungjong’s, and Sunggyu had to grasp the doorframe for a moment. He stumbled his way over to his brother, falling to his knees. He ignored the glass that dug into his legs as he carefully placed a hand to his cheek.

Sungjong’s eyelids fluttered open, and Sunggyu released a breath he was not aware of holding.

“–G-Gyu?” Sungjong muttered, blinking a few times.

Sunggyu opened his mouth, but no words came to his mind. He eyed the younger’s body, now noticing that he didn’t look severely injured. A bruise here and there and the obvious knot forming on his forehead, but Sungjong appeared to be fine.

“What happened?” Sungjong asked, squeezing his eyes shut. He pressed a hand to his head, groaning in pain.

“You tell me.” He helped the younger sit up slowly. The latter leaned back against the couch behind him.

The sound of glass breaking caught Sunggyu’s attention, and he glanced over his shoulder. L stepped into the apartment, his eyes falling upon Sunggyu and Sungjong. His eyes widened. He looked utterly confused and surprised.

“W-We were all talking,” Sungjong slurred. Sunggyu looked back to him. The younger opened his eyes. “And… and… a-and…” he groaned.

“It’s okay. I think I know,” Sunggyu soothed. It was obvious he had a concussion and was finding it hard to even form a thought. He leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to the boy’s forehead. If he had lost Sungjong…

Sunggyu looked down noticing the jacket Sungjong was laying on. It was Woohyun’s.

Where was he?

“Sunggyu…” Sungjong mumbled, distress in his eyes. He looked at the caramel haired man before shifting his attention to behind him. Sunggyu turned around and beyond Bi and someone Sunggyu unfortunately recognized was Sungyeol at the foot of the hallway.

He turned to L, “Go back and get some of those medical supplies,” he ordered. He watched as the other left wordlessly. He narrowed his eyes at the retreating figure, cautious about being in his presence. He didn’t forget what had happened, what L had done and said, but he didn’t have time to deal with that. More important things were at stake.

He glanced at Sungjong one last time before getting up and making his way towards Sungyeol. He crouched down by the younger, and he had never been so happy to hear the other breathe. His eyes were closed; his head was lolled to the side. His breathing was labored, and his hand was pressed tightly to his side. Sunggyu reached out, pressing his own hand to the gunshot wound. Blood was still flowing from it but at a slower pace.

Sunggyu wasn’t an expert on treating wounds–that was Sungjong’s job–but if L hurried back with the supplies, Sungyeol might make it. Sunggyu pondered on what had happened here. Baekhyun claimed they were all dead. He claimed there was nothing to return to except for the bodies of his dead allies and yet both Sungjong and Sungyeol was alive. The caramel haired man took a deep, shaky breath, counting his blessings. He had gotten back in time. But…

Where was Woohyun?

Did they take him?

“It’s about time,” Sungyeol grumbled, slowly opening his eyes. He weakly glared at his leader.

“I’m sorry,” Sunggyu whispered.

“I-If I make it out of this alive, I demand… a t-two month vacation.” He rasped. His body jerked slightly, cringing in pain.

“You can do anything you want after this.” It wasn’t a secret that Sunggyu wasn’t that fond of Sungyeol in general, but he was a comrade. He was a friend. And the thought of losing Sungyeol made his head throb.

“You shouldn’t be worrying about me.” With newfound strength, Sungyeol pushed Sunggyu away from him, forcing the former to retract his hand from his wound. “There are more important people who needs you. He needs you.” He rolled his head to the side, looking down the long hallway. “I… I don’t know if he’s…” He trailed off, frowning. “I was only able to kill one of them.” Sunggyu assumed he was talking about the dead man behind them.

He knew who the man was. He knew Jongup, unfortunately. He was yet another one he had once called his friend.

“Go, Sunggyu,” Sungyeol urged, coughing again. “I’ll be fine. He’s more important to you anyway.”

Sunggyu didn’t need to be told a third time before he found himself racing down the long corridor. Broken down doors and demolished rooms greeted him, but none held the boy he was aching to find. Sunggyu slowed down as his eyes fell upon the last door in the hallway.

The doorknob was smashed, and the door itself hung loosely on its broken hinges. He took a careful step in, and the smell of death hit him tenfold. The room was a mess with tables turned to their sides and lamps thrown to the floor. And the dead body of a young boy with pink cotton candy hair lied in the middle in a puddle of his own blood. The rebel leader stepped around the debris that was pressed against the wall and door.

How many times was Sunggyu going to walk into a room with the dead body of someone he knew?

Junhong lied on his back, his eyes wide open, but there was no life in them. Blood was still oozing from stab wound on his neck. Sunggyu took a step closer, frowning at the body.

Movement in the corner of his eyes caught Sunggyu’s attention. He swallowed thickly when he recognized familiar dark brown locks. The figure was hunched in the corner. His legs were bent, and his face was pressed into his knees. From his position, Sunggyu could see that the other was shaking badly.

“Woohyun?” Sunggyu called, taking a few warily steps towards the other. The brunet didn’t respond. Sunggyu could feel his heart thump wildly in his chest as he lowered to his knees in front of the younger man. He called his name again, but there was still no response.

Sunggyu reached out, gently placing his hand on the boy’s shoulder. But Woohyun greatly recoiled from the touch, sitting up straight and pressing his back against the wall. He let out a piercing scream that Sunggyu was sure would give him nightmares.

“Calm down, Woohyun! It’s me, Sunggyu,” his spoke in a low, calming voice, trying to cool down the brunet.

Woohyun swung his hands at Sunggyu, trying to get away. Sunggyu easily caught his hands, noticing that he was gripping his knife tightly. It was doused in blood. As Woohyun struggled against Sunggyu, the latter noticed that the brunet was covered in blood. His hair was matted with it, and dried blood was smeared across his face. His wrists and neck were bruised. The utter terror in his eyes broke Sunggyu’s heart into infinitesimal pieces.

And Sunggyu had to fight down the surge of emotions he felt, seeing Woohyun’s torn shirt. He didn’t need to guess what Junhong had attempted to do to the young boy.

“Woohyun, please,” Sunggyu tenderly spoke, forcing the younger to release the knife in his hands. Woohyun continued to thrash in his hold. “No one is here to hurt you. It’s just me, okay? It’s Sunggyu.” He let go of the brunet’s wrists and reached out, taking Woohyun’s face in his hands. “It’s your Sunggyu.” He pressed his forehead to Woohyun’s, forcing the younger to look at him. He felt quivering hands weakly push at his chest, but Sunggyu didn’t let up.

Sunggyu gently caressed Woohyun’s cheeks, repeating that it was just him, that it was Sunggyu. Woohyun blinked, hyperventilating. His eyes focused on Sunggyu, taking in his words.

“S-Sunggyu?” Woohyun whispered, his voice cracking.

He gave the young boy a comforting smile. “Yeah, it’s me. It’s Sunggyu.” He could feel the tension in his body ease up, realizing that Sunggyu was there in front of him.

Woohyun opened his mouth, but no words came. His eyes flickered with relief, but Sunggyu could still see the utter and complete fear in them. “…here? Y-You’re h-here?” He had managed to finally say.

“Yes. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Woohyun. But I’m here now.” Sunggyu felt himself choke up at his own words. Woohyun closed his eyes, taking in a deep, shaky breath. His fingers clutched onto Sunggyu’s shirt, feeling the soft material.

He was here. It was real.

Sunggyu was here. Sunggyu was real.

To say that Sunggyu was relieved to find the brunet still here, still alive and safe was an understatement. He was so close to losing him. He swallowed thickly, willing the moisture in his eyes away.

He was here. He was safe.

Woohyun was here. Woohyun was safe.

When was the last time he had felt this much for someone?

“I’m… I’m sorry that my fingers slipped. But I promised that I wouldn’t let you fall; I’m not letting you go, Woohyun.”

Woohyun opened his eyes, his breath hitching at his words, and he couldn’t stop the tears that trickled down his cheeks. He looked into Sunggyu’s eyes. The fear he had felt was mirrored in the other’s eyes, but a set of emotions he couldn’t place were there too.

“I’m never letting you go, so it’s okay. I’m here now. Everything will be okay.”

Woohyun released a sob he didn’t know he had still left in him, and he felt Sunggyu pull him into his arms. He buried his face into the caramel haired man’s neck, weeping. Strong arms secured around him, rubbing comforting circles into his back, and for the first time since he had arrived in South Hallow, Woohyun had felt completely safe.

Sunggyu calmly whispered into his ear that everything was alright now. He was safe. He was there. He wasn’t falling. He wasn’t letting go.

It wasn’t long before Woohyun calmed down in Sunggyu’s arms. The room grew quiet only with the occasional involuntary gasps and hiccups from the brunet. It felt like hours that they just sat there in each other’s arms. Neither move. Neither made a sound. They were content.

“Holy ,” a voice exclaimed. Sunggyu felt Woohyun startle in his arms and press his face further into his neck, taking in a deep breath. Not wanting to move Woohyun, Sunggyu glanced over his shoulder. Sungyeol had his arm around L’s shoulder; the other had an arm around his waist, helping Sungyeol with his balance. There were bandages haphazardly around his middle. They were soaked in blood, but it seemed to help stop the bleeding.

Sungyeol’s eyes were widened as he took in the dead body of Junhong. L’s face was devoid of emotion, but Sunggyu could see confusion in his eyes.  “Was this the sniper?” Sungyeol asked. He looked to Sunggyu, taking in their position. “Is he…?”

The rebel leader looked down at the brunet in his arms. He was still clutching onto Sunggyu for dear life. He refused to acknowledge their presence. “He’ll be okay.” He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince.

“We should go,” L advised. “The longer we stay here, the more likely more of Yongguk’s people might come.”

“I agree,” Sungyeol nodd