Chapter 7 - Do not interrupt me...

Onew

Jonghyun

Taemin

Minho

Key

All

It will be easier if you remember their colors…just go by their pants…it’s mainly for their new song. Then we’re back to the dull black…this was hell to untangle so yeah…hope you’ll like the update…and don’t search for the song…The lyrics are purely made up by me…kekekekeke

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I needed you like the fire needs air to bloom.

I loved you like a man reaching desperately for his doom.

-

I try to fly with no wings, but am welcomed by the ground

So I try to run away, yet I just can’t turn around.

There’s no hope for me: you sing, but there’s no sound

I guess it’s fine: always knew you’ll cut me down.

I hide my light inside the notes of my shadow

Behind the thick walls of those scars

I’m far to terrible to let it flow,to let you go.

I fell apart and now there’s us no more.

-

The tears just drip drop

Shouldn’t I smile

I still do it for you

Even if diamonds still drip drop.

Our game is over

I’m still your puppet on strings

I hide my love in depths of melodies.

My sorrow is big

It’s locked away with my dreams

I swallow the key so you can’t open me.

I’m only free if I can sing

My voice is gone

Don’t stand in front of me.

Where’s the sunlight

It only rains

But I beg you again

Don’t stop to sing.

My sanity seems weak

The melody’s holding me

Deceive me again

Make me believe

Oh the monster inside me.

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A fifth bottle this night, but my mind still sees your face

Another shot yet there’s that soul that I can’t face.

Silly love, the word only means our doom

There’s no more singing souls

There’s only big thorns

On the red roses I loved.

-

The tears just drip drop

Shouldn’t I smile

I still do it for you

Even if diamonds still drip drop.

You yell at me you hate my very soul

It doesn’t hurt anymore

I guess I’ve gone numb

The time won’t fix me

There nothing inside

The puzzle pieces are missing

The left ones are jagged.

My life’s not hopeless

I’m just a hopeless man

Someday you’ll get this

Maybe you’ll regret that you ran.

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Rap

And again….and again

Hell no, here we go again

There’s no hope left

So let’s just forget

My heart lost its beats

The wound’s too deep.

You go on up and I just fall.

So rip my heart

Make me feel no more.

I said I’m numb,

So why fight more.

Let’s cut it before

I know I’m doomed.

What can I say

I was a fool.

You used me too

Of that I’m sure.

Don’t lie to my face

The love is gone.

“This was SHINee!!! With their new mini-album’s featuring song  ‘Fall’. Give it up for them! And you’re watching us live on Mnet Countdown chat’”

“Good evening, we are SHINee!” The five idols stood up, one of them holding onto his friend for support. The leaning boy made a slight discomfort face. The fans went wild. Screaming and pity cries conquered the room. No one expected SHINee to comeback this fast, yet not single one sitting there was complaining. Of course no one expected the best dancer, may they say, in kpop to break his leg dancing to a ballad, but still they were thanking whatever god they believed in that the comeback was not canceled. Sadly, not many continued to think about the pain after a few weeks.

“So guys, you’ve won it all again…you must be used to all the attention and first places. So is MAMA your next step to finish of the year?”

Being the leader, Onew took the initiative and started to actually think what to say. They had to go easily about this, not too humble and not too conceited. These type of cuestions were the hardest: either way you’ll just be wrong.

“It all depends on the fans actually. Like any other music show we’re in, we just want to make shawols proud.”

“Of course, it was quite the scandal when the news translated Taemin’s accident. All the panicking and screaming. Scary… What happened is such a misfortune. Just before your first comeback you were injured this badly. Though I got to say the MV was beautiful, the dance seemed interesting too. I personally loved the part where you burst during the rap. The song is very precious to the whole group, am I wrong?”

“I wrote the lyrics and Kibummie helped with the rap. The injured on right there created all the choreography. The only slackers were Onew-hyung and Minho. But I’m used to this. Minho always slacks.” Yup Jonghyun was the life saver for the group. He and his never shutting mouth did very well during interviews. A silent ‘yah’ was heard…good they left the topic. The further they go from the accident – the less Taemin gets to stress about answers that are not scripted.

“And the song?”

“I’m responsible for the lyrics so I’ll talk more. The main point of the song is fading love and struggles during it. The man sees the feeling disappearing, but because he is so attached he can’t let go. He blames everything including himself. Mainly it’s all black inside of him. It’s a very different concept than our previous ones, but we wanted to show our maturities and show two different sides of SHINee this year. If the first mini-album this year was sort of light and fun, this shows our sincerity to our fans and our possibilities.”

“I have to say I was surprised to hear your song on the radio, still it has your feel. And the music I could hear a piano, but it seemed broken and mixed.”

Minho took the mike and spoke up. ‘Remember the damned flash cards and we can go home’

“Oh you noticed? It’s a heartbroken piano version of our many songs that didn’t get that much recognition. The style is called mash up. The main thing is a bit of every single melody is taken and one completely new melody is created as a result.” Oh the cheeky voice you master up training for four years. The hell fans couldn’t see it? Eh…better for them.

“That’s smart. Wouldn’t expect anything less from you. SHINee seems to continue dictating music tendencies. And Taemin you are the one who created the dance this time. How was the process? Can we expect more of you as a choreographer?”

“Ah, I was actually very scared, when I heard I’ll have to make up a dance, but after many freestyle recordings and looking up what looked best I just made a mini film. Then I polished some moves and showed it too hyungs. They liked it. I was very sad when I fell. That wasn’t supposed to happen. I am still very sorry to the fans.” The maknae’s face showed pity and regret. No one could even try to be negative towards he guy. True was he just knew how to use facial expressions realistically.

’Lies. I wasn’t sad at all. I was happy we could get a break. I was happy we could leave the industry for two years. I was ecstatic when the boss told me to create a dance. It came into my mind instantly. I didn’t even film it. Though I still feel regret towards the fans. I hate to lie.’

“Okay…and Key you haven’t talked at all. What can you say to your fans. A message?”

“All I can ask is for them to continue supporting us. We’re sorry that we can’t show you our dancing skills, but without Tae they’re just non existent and I can’t pull the whole band.” A diva-ish smirk was show. This was not Kim Kibum. This was their Almighty Key. The one that was created for them. So let’s make it fun. “We can feel your love and SHINee hopes you’ll continue surprising us with your love. This was your almighty Key.”

“Thank you. So welcoming to stage next Sistar with their new y dance.”

5…4…3…2…1…

Lights out.

Masks down.

 Breath out.

“How are you feeling, Taemin?” Of course Minho in. He had been worrying like crazy when the comeback started. It flattered Taemin at first, but now it seemed to only bug the maknae. Still there was really he could do. He was lucky that the doctors allowed the comeback and helped them with the whole bone deal. They had put a real casket on his foot that would hold for about two months. It really made the acting easier: Tae gotten used to the awkwardness and the limping. He rarely used the crutches though. They were absolutely impossible to handle, so he gave them to Onew to play with most of the time. Leaning onto any band member was far better.

“Really Minho-hyung…we just sit and talk. What could possibly be so overwhelming back there…even the questions were unoriginal… Relax a bit.” The three weeks passed like nothing.

They had much work to finish and truth to tell they barely made it. Even Super Junior members were shocked when they found out SHINee was comebacking again. Ahhh either way no one questioned Lee Sooman. That was so off limits no one dared to even think about it. The one’s that dared lost their jobs rather fast.

God three weeks. It seemed like days to him. All he did was either practice or sleep. He was tired all the time it was driving him insane. On the doctors’ notes it was written to be normal, but really? He was becoming a sleep addict.

Dragging themselves to their changing room they sloped down on the floor leaving the couch for maknae to sleep on. It was like unwritten rule by now. Neither one of them sat on a couch if Tae was in the room. It didn’t go unnoticed by the younger. It pained him to know it was his fault they were uncomfortable. Yet, when his fatigue really kicked him, he didn’t give a damn. They don’t sleep during the breaks! He was pregnant…he can have this.

“You know, it should be not healthy to sleep this much Taeminnie. It’s only worse when you wake up.” Kim Kibum gave up to the never ending randomness of the band. He was unique himself. On the other hand, he didn’t know what to make out of the constant tiredness of the youngest. Everyone was worrying about it, but really what could they do?

“Leave the worrying to Minho, umma…The doctors said it’s normal to be energy deprived this trimester so I might as well spend it sleeping like a polar bear.” The maknae had heard these kinds of sentences at least ten times a day. He was used to them. What really shocked him though that Jonghyun-hyung became very protective of him. He’d often miss a schedule just so he could be the leading one to the appointments. With all the promotions and the deals signed only Jonghyun had that privileged honor of working at home.

Soon the boys ended their appearances and left the studio at tad bit early… missing all the after celebration stuff. They received the prize and just sang again. Taemin still had to get his weekly check up and injection of hormones. Not wanting to receive any type of attention they left quietly without any trace of being outside before.

When all of them sat in their van, the youngest visibly relaxed. The pregnant male touched his belly, where deep under it a little miracle of life was starting to sprout his wings. Lately the heart-beat seemed to stay calm or something that could be described as ‘ticklish’. Both feeling were adored by the little bundle. Even now, the beat was steady and comforting in many ways. It just made your eyes close, even though the little baby was already busy kicking and stretching, and his tiny movements were so effortless they looked like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as his body grows and becomes more developed and functional. Though the owner of the body couldn‘t feel a single baby's acrobatics move, the baby himself tried to show that he was alive and ready to learn more. Even now that little bundle understood his risky life having to deal with enemies from the start, but he knew that this hearbeat was holding onto his in the strongest way possible.

One by one they passed the blocks of Seoul until they were finally at the back exit of the clinic, where Emma and doctor Sampo were already waiting. The four members knew the routine and saying their little ‘bye’s they absentmindedly went straight to the ward. Being in the check up with Taemin was strictly forbidden even if that gained many whines and arguments. The doctors couldn’t risk a thing while checking up the boy. Even the smallest missed detail could cause immediate death. Risky it was.

The maknae gave a sad look to his fellow members: it was hard to be alone during those boring check ups, but he had to agree it helped him to calm down knowing no one could actually see how those needles were painful. One would think that hormones are nothing and you can’t feel anything since it’s a part from your body. Wrong. The hormones they use on him are modified a little so they could easier the muscle stretch around the pelvic area. That meant loosing the little six pack he worked so hard to achieve. Let’s go back to your shapeless body…fun. Fact was it didn’t belong in Tae’s body so it stung while injecting into a muscle. The first times were the worst, but now Lee Taemin was used to that. It was simply a procedure he had to go through and he knew there were more painful things ahead. That and the fact there were only four of these types of shots left.

“Hello, Taemin. Sit down okay. We’ll start from the ultrasound and we’ll move onto the measuring. Give me your arm.” Doctor Sampo proved to be a warm hearted man, though the outside of him still gave that unwanted chills.

Lee Taemin hated giving blood. It was one of those procedures where he’d bite the stuffed animal they gave him and close his eyes as hard as possible. Once any type of needle would make contact he’d make out a noise that would be along the lines of growling mixed with whimpers.

“Easy, easy. Relax.” That was the awkward part for doctor Sampo. He’d really feel like getting blood out of a child. He was so scared of making the boy cry. It was just that weird. Soon doctor Shin came with the dose of hormones. They tried to bigger the dose, but then Taemin started to vomit again. “Was that really that bad? Okay, now the injection. How are you feeling after last week’s one?”

“The same as I was feeling days ago. It’s just uncomfortable for the first day, then it fades.”

“Good. Lift up your T-shirt, would you? I’d recommend you bite that toy again. Do I need to bring Minho here?”

“Nah, it’ll be better if he actually doesn’t know about the discomfort. I’m babied by the band as much as it is.”

“You know that’s not bad. That only means they care. Now bite.”

And so Taemin did. The whole procession took about a minute, two, yet it would be the worse minutes of the week. It wasn’t as if the needle was huge or the medicaments burned his insides out. No. It just feels like something going into your muscle and filling it up far more than necessary. It would sting a little, but after it would just feel over filled. It was a weird feeling in bad, but not painful way. The first time he was injected, while sleeping so it was much better, but the comeback really didn’t leave any place for sleeping in a ward.

“Okay we are done. Lay a bit. I’ll get ready the ultrasound. Shin-ssi, could you get the pregnancy history for me?”

“Okay okay.”

“Let’s get started shall we. You’re probably used to this by now.”

Doctor Shin entered the room with the papers. He was smiling: everything was going according to the plan. The boy’s health was improving and if we forget the incident with the overdosed hormones a bit the body was getting it’s shape back. Lee Taemin was an extraordinary patient. He was by far the hardest puzzle to solve. He had so much risks everyday, but he himself looked at them with absentminded look. Never in his life doctor Shin had seen this devoted young parent. The boy was truly unique. Even now, trembling before getting to see his child again. Every week he’d go through the check ups, the injections and measurement with some kind of ease, yet he’d be horrified before the ultrasound.

Once Sampo-ssi spread that abnormally cold gel on his stomach Taemin couldn’t help but smile. Finally the weeks wait was over. That ultrasound was the only thing reminding him that inside of his tummy was filled with life, that this was why he was breaking so many rules. Soon a huge thing Taemin preferred to call a ‘radar’ was placed on his stomach and an image appeared on the screen.

There it was. His bundle of joy. Looking more and more like a real baby. His baby.

“Can you see the fetus. Look there are his arms and feet. He’s started moving already, must be a fighter just like you. And if we look at it this way we can see his head.” Both doctors smiled. It was a wonderful thing to see this happy young man. That proud smile made them want to complete this task with absolutely no losses. It’d be a tragedy if the world looses these two sunshines.

“Omo…the head is huge. Is he okay?” Taemin was scared…maybe it was wrong to agree to comeback….maybe all the schedules made the baby deform?

“Ah, that’s perfectly normal as it can get in this type of situation. You’re eleven weeks along so the baby is growing rapidly. Don't worry, in the next few weeks the rest of his body will catch up.”

“Ahh…sorry I’m very new at this.” Yes the boy truly was an unique thing in every way possible. The first day Shin thought he was far to weak, then he was proven wrong. Then some days after he thought cuteness was part of his idol image, that too was proven to be wrong. He just had these different personas inside him, but that fighter is one you’d like to keep away from you if mad. Shin seriously thought the boy was going to punch Sampo right in the face if he’d tried to abort the baby.

“No one was born knowing. Anyway, you’re finishing your first trimester so I have good news: the fatigue should be disappearing and making way for life…okay what I want you to do is try to finish all your work before the New Year. Because it’s December you have to wear warmer clothes than you came in with. Right now your immune system is far too low to be playing with. One virus and we are off. Understood?”

“I do, but the New Year’s booked. I’ll try to make things work, though.”

“Taemin, I’m not fond of you running around the stages, you know that. This hardens up things. The problem isn’t performing, but showing.  Because of the constant work you seem to put on weight too slow, thus the fetus using yours energy instead. It’s not healthy and it only brings you pain. Don’t try to deny this. Tell me how’s the casket do you need a change?”

“Ahh no, I haven’t broken this one yet. I’ll try to be more healthy, I try now, but this is important too. For all of us…”

“I’m not telling you to draw back, just sit down when tired and don’t over use the energy.”

“Fine.”

“Now about the problems we are facing. You know yourself that the child is going to squish the organs while growing. Our task is to keep him from doing it too harshly and get the baby out before one of the organs sops functioning because of the pressing. After the New Year I want you to stop performing all together. This is where we’ll start taking huge precautions for everything. I’m guessing you never told this to the band.”

“Doctor, you know pretty well as I do that if it was my choice I wouldn’t tell them anything. They worry too early. We can do this when I’m in the actual agony. I’ve got only one month to be free as much as possible and I rather live it without any regrets.”

“This will break them, Tae.”

“No this will most likely break me. Minho will  most likely be a lone parent. I’d like him to get used to that wonderful feeling so he won’t give up.”

“There is still possibilities that you’ll survive. You’re doing exceptionally so far.”

“Oh doctor. Let’s leave the prep talk to the band. What are the possibilities of my survival - one out of ten?...hundred?”

“Taemin, you are one of  the twenty-thousand, wouldn’t you agree that the numbers are on your side.”

“I’d love to believe this doctor, but right now I’ve got to get everyone ready if something bad happens."

“You’re a very strong man, Lee Taemin. I really hope you make it. I really do.”

“I just hope to see the baby before I close my eyes. That'd be far enough for me. It’s all I want. To see him. To let him see this world. He is worth it.”

“Okay, enough of the depression. You continue the diet and stay on track with the pills. Now run off to the ward. Those guys must be worrying.”

“Thank you. I will meet you next week yes?”

Not even pretending to wait for an answer the boy fled. True he was something else. Only this pure creature could be that devoted to his possible death and be so calm about it. Whatever happened in his life gave him far too much wisdom as for his age. Compared to that skinny boy even Sampo himself felt not experienced enough about life. And he helped pregnant males. And even this sounded ridiculous deep inside Sampo knew it was true. The boy harbored secrets that he guessed not only were not mentioned in his health history, but were held in the black from even his family. Everyone had those, it seems Taemin’s were blacker. Even so Sampo learned through practice that it is better to let a person deal with his life and emotions. This way they feel accomplishment.

Doctor Sampo smiled to Shin. They will do everything in their hands to make the boy live and have joy in everyday. Even if that meant breaking some rules.

Taemin sighted once more getting rid of any thoughts he had a couple of minutes ago. No thought – no possible signs on his face – no interrogation – no answers.

Bursting in with his usual self he was greeted with a sight of his fellow members reading the doctors’ memoirs on pregnant males. The boys seemed to be very absorbed in the new fact, thus not noticing the actual pregnant male.

“You know you can ask me everything that is written there. It is quite true what’s written.”

“Ah…it’s not…well it was just on the cabin, you were gone and we were nervous. We had to calm ourselves in some way or another!!!” Onew was startled easiest, so it was normal to see him explaining himself to the younger.

“Either way, let’s go home. It’s way too calm here. I seriously dread the days I’ll be locked in here.”

Taemin didn’t even spare one last look at his ward. After visiting it frequently, he knew where every single book layed or where the most of dust could be found. It’s not like the place was impossible to stay in. It was high class and the best for his unborn child it was just too much for Taemin’s liking. He just missed his far too small bed, where he and Minho could cuddle…   

“You go to the van and get settled. I’ll be back in a few. My makeup is wearing off. I have to re-do it.” Key was never a person to go outside looking less than perfect. Yet Jonghyun knew when he looked perfect and right now Key looked the best. There was something in his voice that startled the lead singer, but he shrugged it off when he saw his rapper leave with a make-up kit.

“Who are you talking with even? We wouldn’t have left without anybody anyway.” Minho just had to be oblivious. Key couldn’t blame him. But he could be a diva about it.

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to myself!”

Now if Jonghyun was a little more curious and left straight after Kim Kibum, he would have seen that Key never made a turn to the bathroom. That his boyfriend entered the same check up room Tae had just exited.

“So you came.” Sampo looked instantly up. He could see the boy in front of him tremble a bit.

“ I had to know, please understand.” Key was never the person to be this shy [ if you can even call it shy], but it was a rare occasion. The turmoil inside him had been eating him up since the news of Taemin came crashing down. And only yesterday he mustered up all his courage to crush his ego and come here. This was impossible to live with dealing.

“I am sorry, Kibum, but the results are negative. Though you may look something along those lines this is mostly the dominating genes getting the best of your face. You are beautiful, but nothing else. I am sorry to tell you that you can’t conceive.”

This killed Kibum right there. Just when he began to hope. Jonghyun’s face when he would’ve told him. He’d be so happy. He dreamed about a child even if he never admitted it loudly. For ’s sake he sang nursery rimes in his sleep nowadays.

“It’s okay doctor. It should be this way, anyway. Thank you for your work.” Key was starting to get up when the doctor himself stopped him.

“You can not answer me if you want, but why would you like to be in a state Taemin is right now. Your health history isn’t that bright either.”

“That is exactly what I’d like to know too, doctor.” An clearly irritated voice sang through the door.

Yes, Kim Jonghyun was just that curious.

Okay so I’m back with a new chappie…

I KNOW I KNOW THE LYRICS I just can’t do something if I have no talent and I have absolutely no talent in creating lyrics. I JUST CAN’T!!! Please spare me… i knbow they're bad....

On the other hand I am happy to bring out the firs twist in this story. Somehow I like this type of Key. It might actually be interesting...

What do they know....everything...I am sure I'll fail XD

My bias is Onew, but it seems I am forgetiing him….*thinks hard*….sorry bias maybe next chappie you get more fic time…

[No AFF does not let me to resize the gifs...why u so wrong aff?]

Because I am so used to write Taemin as in ae I found myself writing wrong in English like please and ….I still like Taemin more.

I’m very sad to see the way MAMA is going out. I feel like loosing hope still I log on everyday to vote. I feel frustrated a bit but yeah. They must know they’re the best.  

On Friday I am having this huge physics test that consist of half of the book….turns out we are finishing allll the mechanics and we need to prove our knowledge of 50 pages long information….there is no Thursday evening for me….you see I prepare for a test the last minute…wish me luck.

OH OH OH and I just saw that I have nearly 1000 viws…that is soooo nice.Thank you.

As always my fellow 2min shippers [by now I just ship all SHINee] comment, subscribe and love.

Jup jup.