Chapter 13 - Some days are harder than others.

After long five hours of pure torture Taemin was finally asleep and far away from any kind of pain. It had been one crazy puzzle to solve for the doctors seeing any kind of medicine including painkillers were strictly forbidden. It was absolutely horrifying seeing the boy in so much pain begging them to help, yet neither Sampo nor Shin knew what they could possibly do. That was before Emma turned the tables by spreading the ultrasound gel onto the stomach. It was as genius idea as it was quite random. No one would possibly try to lessen the pain by a gel that didn’t even have any type of healing medicine in it. Yet everyone, but Emma forgot that the most used gel was kept cold and would perfectly numb down the pain. Sampo was once again amazed by his helper’s fast thinking and originality.

“I bow down to you once again, Emma.” Doctor Sampo whispered.

“Oh, hush. The boy was in pain and we all know how fast you work in situations like these…aish I’ll go get the ward ready for him, you make sure he’s stable. I think we will be seeing more of the skin stretching problems.”

Emma didn’t look back, when she hurried out of the check up room. It was too hard. Those screams…those agonizing screams will hunt her dreams for weeks. What a poor and unfortunate boy, still the boy was so brave. Those eyes. Those pure and brave eyes were mesmerizing. All she wanted for the boy was just stability during this hard period, but as today’s scene showed: things will go downhill from here. There were no more bed-rests or waiting. It was a matter of time when the skin stretching will become not that hurtful as the organs are bound to be squished in some way or another.

Emma cursed herself for not acting more quickly, for not fighting the boy’s decision, yet what could she do now? She saw the band members stand up to meet her, waiting for any kind of information, but Emma was far too drained. The woman had absolutely no energy.

Those screams were still ringing in her head.

She just made her way to the ward.

They sat there for four hours. Four! With no information what’s so ever. Only screams muffled down by the walls. Minho was embraced by Onew, while the ‘umma’ of the house and his child were hugged by Jonghyun. Every single scream sent shivers down their backs; every single cry broke their hearts in some way or another. Their manager was on the way. Everyone there hoped he’d help them in one way or another.

“Arhhhh…arhhh…please stop it…please” The tired voice of Taemin could be heard seeing the waiting room was dead silent, even Mikyung didn’t dare to open her eyes and slept the whole thing away.

Hearing this Minho jumped out of Onew’s hug and ran near the door, where he crumbled down on the floor. No one was surprised by now. It was his fifth time doing this after all. The leader just sighted as he stood up and went for his fellow band member once again.

“Hey now kiddo, let’s not brake down here, okay? What if one of the doctors needs some kind of help, huh? You’ll just block the way. Let’s get back to our seats.” Their leader was calm, but everyone knew inside he was fighting his own demons. Onew hated hospitals as much as Taemin did. His ‘not-by-blood’ brother, as they called themselves, was having some kind of pain attacks and he was locked out of the room. Surely he had his portions of emotions running wild inside. The thing was Lee Jinki came out rarely, since Onew was loved by most of the fans and idols. It was normal that not many knew Lee Jinki’s connection with Lee Taemin, which was not as displayed as other friendships he had.

“Jinki-hyung, you understand, don’t you? I love the boy…I really do and it feels like I’m being ripped sitting here. It just hurts hyung, it hurts far too much.” The rapper was desperate: his boy was there, behind those walls, and all he could do was wait.

Onew wanted to answer, when the opening of the damned door interrupted the small chaos. The boys were on their feet instantly waiting for any type of news.

It never came.

Emma-shi just looked at them once with unreadable expression and left with a hung down head.

 Only now they noticed it was far too quiet in the clinic…there were no screams. It couldn’t mean that Taemin was…NO! It won’t happen!

Doctor Sampo stepped out too. He was the first too talk, since Emma didn’t say a word. The doctor was nervous in a way; still he had too be professional and do his job well. He got attached to the boy far too quickly and now his emotions mixed in many ways.

“You may want to sit down.” And so everyone, even the doctor himself, sat down waiting for Sampo’s next words,” Taemin is stable right now. Thanks to Emma-shi we found a way to numb down the pain without using any real medicine, such as painkillers. What you heard a couple minutes ago...I am sad to say, but this will become daily…how to say? Okay, when a pregnant woman gets pregnant her skin stretches to furfill the baby’s growth, thus a pregnant woman getting a tad bit more weight. The problem with Taemin is – he was not healed from anorexia completely. You all know the sickness is hard to heal as the aftermath always follows. What I and doctor Shin think and were afraid of came true. Taemin was always a skinny type of boy. He was underweighted for some time. You must understand that skin is one of the most elastic organ in the humans body, but because there was not enough fat under it, which has no nerves, therefore is numb, Taemin’s skin started have a ‘burning effect’. It’s like a warning sign that something is wrong, yet we cannot help. In conclusion, this would be pretty normal in any type of pregnancy, just on a male that suffered from anorexia it has a different effect.”

Finally Sampo breathed out. He only hoped the boys in front understood what he meant. He rarely talked in the simplified medical terms, since Latin ones were far more describing and often used. It took some time for them to understand the facts, yet their facial expressions indicated understanding and sadness. Minho was first to question the doctor. It was nothing new actually, the boy seemed to be overly protective of the pregnant male, so seeing him trying to gain more information was perfectly normal.

“You said daily?” A stuttering came out of the rapper’s lips.

‘The boy must be scared…He can’t even talk properly’

“Sadly to say, this is the easiest you’ll get. Minho-ah I thought you fully understood the situation?”

“I did...It’s just terrifying.” Minho’s head was blank. Everyone’s was actually. What was there more to think about? They had just witnessed their maknae, their angel, go through torture. How could they even think? This was not anorexia. This was millions times worse.

“Taemin won’t come back home anymore, will he?”

“Minho-ah, you see the things happening. There is absolutely no way we can let the boy go. It’s his last trimester; we must keep our eyes open for anything and everything. We cannot risk anymore. The sickness he had because of the cold was an unforgivable mistake. We cannot fail again. This is life we are talking about.”

“Just whose life are we talking about, doctor? Who are we protecting?”

“You know the answer very well, Minho-ah.”

Minho fell down from his chair. This was simply not true. How could they listen to a pregnant male?! Of course he’ll risk everything! Of course he’s going to protect his precious. Minho felt defeated.

“Minho-ah, we are doctors, we cannot go against the patient’s wish. He made us sign a damned deal. This is frustrating to us as it is for you. Try fitting our shoes: we have to make sure a baby sees the world and don’t give a single damn about the one actually in pain. Don’t you think it ing goes against everything we learned in medical school…al that we knew? Grow up, boy, and have the guts to say that you are more afraid of the future than the actual person with a ticking bomb around his neck!”

“I never hid that fact from anyone! Even Taemin knows it! I just hate the fact that he completely lets fate control his life. I don’t want to let go of him. I don’t!”

Silence.

More silence.

“Well that was one big argument you had here. I strongly recommend you both to shut up. Taemin is sleeping after some agonizing hours; I’d really hate to see him restless again. You guys are both wrong in so many ways it is actually ironic.” Doctor Shin was never a man of many words, but he had to stand up this time. They were truly being ridiculous.” Who gives a single damn on your feelings? How are you the victims in this story? In many ways we all get hurt, but the person behind those doors is actually in the risk of loosing something so precious for him. You are being hypocrites sitting here and sobbing about your daily life, when the youngest amongst all of us is trying to enjoy his existence. Learn something from him.” A pile of freshly printed documents were thrown on a small coffee table; they were still warm.” Look at some test results now. They show the boy had been through numerous pain attacks and discomfort, still who knew of this? Exactly. Fact is you should just shut down your emotions and the way you feel right now to help the boy be happy as he can be. I’ll go watch over him and you be kind and go to his ward and wait there fore him. He will be brought there when he wakes up.”

“Doctor, wait.” Suddenly the leader interrupted.

“Yes?”

“If Taemin is sleeping here, can some of us, maybe all, be here too? With him, so he feels more like at home. Taemin hates hospitals with some passion.

“That would be fine as long as there is only one person sleeping here. I’m pretty sure who will be the one here during nights; still the curfew is ten p.m. sharp. By ten I want every guest out and the boy sleeping. Those are the only requirements from me. Sampo is the one more acknowledged to these types of patients, he’ll tell you the rest.”

“Of course.”

Doctor Shin spared one last look at everyone sitting in the waiting room. A single ‘aish’ was left after him.

After some couple long hours SHINee were sitting in Taemin’s ward. Jonghyun was feeding Mikyung, while Kibum just sat there watching them both. Onew was concentrating on reading all the pregnant males’ doctors’ memoirs he got from doctor Sampo. The latter had just thought Minho and Onew how to and where to spread the gel if any skin stretching would happen again. It was decided that the one sleeping here would be Minho. What a surprise.

“Hyung, when you finish give me the memoirs. I want to know stuff too.” Key muttered under his breath. He was the freaking ‘umma’, yet it seemed he was anything nut that last six weeks. Thank everything, Mikyung seemed to be her always smiling self. Key would not take it if another smile would disappear.

“This is hard to even look at. The heck is homo-sapiens?

“That’s a human in Latin, hyung. How were you able to finish second in the whole school?” A lazy and hoarse voice rang through the room. Thing was it didn’t belong to none of the four members. Instantly four and a half [Mikyung] heads shot up and looked straight to the door.

Taemin.

Taemin.

Their maknae.

The boy smiled rubbing his stomach, while Emma wheeled him inside the room. When the boy showed he’d be perfectly fine by himself, Emma left quietly, closing the door behind her.

“You need a wheeling chair now? Seriously we need to make a scrapbook of this, the baby would never believe the you’ve been through.” Everyone’s eyes shot to Jonghyun. Would that guy even hold in his thoughts? Why was he always so blunt? Even Onew wasn’t that open.

But what seriously bewildered the three left members was their favorite laughter echoing in the ward. It was surprising hearing it again, especially after the sentence Jonghyun had dropped. Soon the puppy joined in, while the left were just standing there with their mouths open.

‘The heck was happening?’  

“Glad you’re back, hyung. I missed my best-friend.” Taemin mumbled in between laughs.

“Glad to finally have you back, buddy. You keep giving us heart-attacks, you know. Evil maknae is just as his worst level, aren’t you? My twitter wasn’t updated in weeks and I blame only you. As a matter of fact let’s make you a twitter account, the fans will go crazy. We could be evil there.”

“The hell with you, puppysaurus, he isn’t getting a twitter obsession like yours. Take care of Mikyung and don’t you dare take out your damned phone. And to think I was convinced you were healed? You are the worst example to my kids!” Following the sentence a backslap on the shoulder of Jonghyun’s was made.

“Oh so the ‘umma’ is back too. All you needed to see was me in a wheel chair …nice. Should I be disturbed or happy?”

“You should just listen to us and go straight for the bed, Tae. I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“I was a little out the last few weeks, wasn’t I?”

“Oh that…don’t sweat it. All of you were out of your heads. Even I. You know I cried. That’s something rare to see. So no big harm done.”

“You’re in a wheel-chair, Tae…” The leader spoke up. Putting down the memoirs he went closer to ruffle the hair of the younger.

“And I actually love every second of it. It’s actually fun…God, I’m so random, aren’t I?”

Group laughter erupted instantly. How could the boy be so cute at times like these?

Minho went forward and picked up his boyfriend from the wheel-chair, while the younger struggled to calm his racing heart. During all the drama all the mushy stuff got kind of forgotten, so now it felt like the first time they’ve done something romantic in front of their hyungs. That and the fact Taemin weighted twice as much and he didn’t want to fall down just because he was too fat.

Successfully the rapper laid his lover on the bed and pecked his nose.

“You lie down and try to relax, okay? If it starts to burn; tell me, the doctor thought me how to apply the gel.”

“Fine.” Taemin bit on his lip. It clearly looked like he was trying to say something, but was struggling with it. As much as it was cute, it worried the members, so Minho spoke up.

“Just spit it out, Tae. There’s no more time for secrets or trying to be brave. Now we are just ….well ourselves I guess. Man that was deep.” A chuckle escaped the dancer’s mouth.

Making Taemin comfortable in the ward – success.

“Minho…can you…can you apply the gel now.” It seemed Taemin really didn’t want to be doing this seeing his head was hung low and he was playing with his own fingers.

“Already?” Minho was shocked. It hurt him already? That must be uncomfortable.

“No no. It’s not as painful as it was in the house…it just burns a little. Like when you burn your hands sliding down a rope, just on the sides. Give me the gel I can do it myself. It’s actually nothing big. Sorry for asking.”

‘Good job, idiot. Now he’s sad. why do I think with my mouth on worst times?’

“You just lie were you are. It’s not like that, Tae. I was surprised; that’s all.” Minho stood up and went for the mini-fridge, where, instead of food, packs of gel were packed. He took one and made his way back. He looked around once again only to see his hyungs absorbed in their daily lives. Onew was still trying to read the memoirs, Jonghyun and Kibum were playing with their girl, wait where was their manager? He said he would come…maybe he got stuck in the traffic?

“Onew-hyung?”

The leader looked up with a curious expression. “Yeah?”

“Where’s manager? Maybe we should call him?”

“Oh he called some time ago. You were having your loud discussion with doctor Sampo, so you didn’t hear I guess. Manager was held down by the boss. He said something about our plans and future planning. The usual stuff. I told him Taemin was stable, so he apologized many times and then went back to their meeting. He said he’ll visit first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Oh. Good then.”

Once again Minho focused on his boyfriend, who now was engrossed in the little conversation, he and Onew had. Curiosity was all over the younger’s face.

“Lift up your sweater, Tae-papa.” Minho sang out only to have a mumble as a reply.

“Huh? Speak louder, Taemin.”

“I can’t.”

“Why? Is something wrong?” By now every member had their attention on the maknae. The word ‘wrong’ was now one deal breaker.

“My tummy…it’s not..it’s weird.” Taemin breathed out. And then it struck Minho. He hadn’t seen the pregnant belly a single time. He felt it, he kissed it, but never did his boy show the stomach that was hiding their miracle.

“Jesus, Tae. You choose to be self-conscious now? Out of all times…seriously. I love you the way you are. I don’t give a single damn about your appearance, so please be a dear and lift it up.”

And so Taemin did. Slowly he lifted it up to reveal an overgrown stomach of his. Taemin closed his eyes in fear to gasps of horror, yet he only heard chuckling…and was that an ‘aww’?

“The hell were you talking about, it’s cute.” Minho said as he kissed the now belly only to have a bump slightly hit his nose.

“Omo, somebody’s happy to hear from me…hey there fellow…just you wait I’ll make you both feel better.”

Quickly he popped open the tube and got a good amount of the cold gel onto his hands. He got closer to the bell and started to rub the gel in circular motions, just as the doctor showed him. He must’ve done something right as he heard Taemin a let a deep breath out.

“This feels awesome, hyung.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Now relax, while I’ll do some work.”

Under the hands of the rapper the little bundle bathed in the feeling of love. His voices were back and both seemed to be perfectly fine. His heart finally calmed down after the shock he got. There were so much agonizing sounds that broke the little heart, but now everyone seemed calm…the bundle loved it when it was calm. His owner was his life, his thumps were his music and now the little bundle learned that the owner’s pain was equally his pain too. The thump thumps evened out as something cold was surrounding the walls…it felt good. Just so good.

Hello babies!

First I want to apologize for whatever this fail may be.

I thought I had more inside me…yup I was proved wrong again.

Anyway this is the last update this year and I will meet some of you [ who don’t follow my blog] in 2013.

So Merry Christmas and a ing perfect New Year.

May all of you party hard or get loads of presents.

Joking.

I wish you all a beautiful and creative next year. And I’d like to thank you all for keeping up with my fails and randomness.

I love you all!

You made me write this and now look I even edited some kind of trailer.

You guys rock.

So as a gift of some sort I shall shower you with love and gifs/macros

As always

Jup Jup.

My love for you guys: