Park Bom

28th April 2012

Wedding dress, checked. Final reservations, checked. Wedding Hall, checked. Ok, everything is in order.

For the first time in my life, everything is in order. There’s something fishy about how perfect my wedding plan is going to be. It’s maybe because Jiyong hired the best wedding planner Gangnam district has to offer. At the other end, maybe god really wants this to happen. Maybe god wants to make Jiyong’s wedding perfect and I’m just lucky to be a part of this. This is not normal in my life.

Since I was born, (according to my late mother) her life and mine were never at a constant track. When everything was expected to go on track, something bad will happen and the expected became the unexpected. I grew up with mishaps so much that I’m not even surprised if I’m fired off my $1200 job for nothing. But this wedding, so far, has not taken a turn yet and I do hope, finally, with Jiyong, I would find a constant track in life.

After re-checking the to-do lists given by my friend Sandara, I stripped down and took a shower before Jiyong picks me up to meet his senior from Busan.

Busan.

I hate that place, but ironically, I’m getting married to a Busan man. Life always has its own ways I tell you. My wedding will be attended by Busan people and perhaps, will have Busan as my second hometown after Seoul.

 I was never sure the real reason behind me hating that place. Is it because of that guy with no name? No, I would not have hated a place just because of that man. Or is it?

The guy with no name came from Busan. In fact, I called the guy with no name ‘Busan’, and he called me ‘Seoul’ to commemorate where we originate. When did I last meet him though?

I traced back my memories as I let the hush of water drops touch my skin in the shower. I closed my eyes in intense focus, trying to remember the place, the time and the scent of my last meeting of the guy with no name.

Busan. The day after children’s day 2009. Yes, that was our last meeting. That’s it.

Why do I even remember these stuff? The main question is, how did I even come to think about the guy with no name simply because I’m going to meet someone from Busan today? Even more, I’m having all these thoughts while in the shower.

...

I spread all my clothes on top of my bed, giving me a clear view of clothes that are appropriate enough to wear to socialize with someone who I’ve heard so much from my fiancé. So much that I can even remember his name as clear as crystal. Choi Seunghyun. That’s the name engraved in my memory as Jiyong’s beloved senior.

I chosed myself a guava pink H&M basic tee and a black Topshop blazer on top. I later looked in the mirror and felt like I’ve just projected myself as a failed 27 year old Architect. It was all truth anyways but I at least want Jiyong to not feel embarrassed about me, so I wore some fancy pendants over it. Not overdoing it but simultaneously being careful not to be underdressed. After a quick hairdo and slipping on my favourite pair of Zara jeans, I am satisfied with how I look and wait for Jiyong’s Range Rover to hum its way to my old and ugly apartment.

I sat down on the little green chair in my living room slash workplace slash dinner area as I wait for Jiyong. I reached for the white odd-looking remote control to turn on my radio. Lee Seunggi’s “Because You’re My Woman” was playing. I slightly smiled reminiscing back at how much my late mother liked this song.

Only as a dongseng, just that much
you think I'm adorable
but noona you are woman to me.
You say "what do you know? you'll understand when you're older"
you say that I'm acting rashly but noona you re a woman to me.
No matter who you meet or whoever you meet and no matter what you do,
I can only wait.

I can’t help myself but to sing the verses of the song. It was really popular back then in 2002. In 2002, lots of thing had happened. Queen Elizabeth lost her mother in that year, so did I. My mom died on the supposedly happiest day of the year for children in Korea. The day where parents give expensive toys to their whining offspring. Fifth of May 2002, was also the day I met the guy with no name in the busy streets of Myungdeong.