It all started with ‘Hello Baby’, I fell in love and got my heart broken. I met five amazing guys, one a best friend, one a mother, one a father, one the uncle, and then one a lover. But like all good things it came to an end. I ran away, I left them like I did so many things in my life, I left before I could be left. However, thanks to them I can dance again, smile again, and enjoy life again.

 Leaving for France was tough; letting everything go was difficult, but since I’ve enjoyed my life more. Although I do wish things had turned out differently…I wouldn’t have changed a thing, I mean yes, I am disappointed, but I loved and was loved, even if it was brief. At least that’s what I thought.

After coming back to South Korea things only seemed to hit bumps in the road. Like it was all one big mistake in coming back, but everything worked out in the end. I returned back to France to finish the next year, I planned on transferring at the end of the school year to Korea, to be closer with Jonghyun. I thought at least, I thought about so many things back then. Things changed, people change, minds changes. New things come into life…

Three Years Ago

Kissing my King of Skinship goodbye I hug him tightly. “I don’t want to go.”

“You have to; you have a plan to follow.” He whispers pushing me to board the plane. “I’ll be here waiting for you.”

“Promise?”

“I do.”

And with that I boarded the plane, ready to finish my life in France and completely ready to start my life in Korea. Ready to start my life with Jonghyun and the rest of my family that I’ve bonded with over a few months with them. Those SHINee boys are forever part of my life at least I hope, but my life changed.

Present

Sitting on the plane looking out the window I’m starting to doubt myself, that this is the right thing to do. I mean I haven’t talk to the guys in years. Over the first few months back I found that I was pregnant. How would I explain that to Jonghyun? How could I explain that to the boys? I couldn’t go back with a baby and expect Jonghyun to give up his career and leave SHINee; I couldn’t do that to him. I wasn’t going to give him the choice.  Looking at the little girl sitting next to me happily knocking her feet together she smiles up at me.

“Umma where are we going?” She asks as the plane begins to descend.

“To meet someone very special, Elsie Lee.” I whisper kissing the top of her head nervously.

Her long dark hair contrasting with her pale skin, my little girl. Elsie Lee Bom Shine. Her father being the main vocalist of SHINee and the one person I’ve ever loved. With the plane descending to Seoul, South Korea, and waiting for me hopefully is the one person I can explain my actions to and with any luck I can see about getting my life back into order.

After gathering out luggage taking Elise Lee’s hand I lead her out of the crowded airport, hopefully to find someone waiting, and with any luck get him to listen to be long enough to explain everything to.

Spotting the reddish-brown hair on a deserted part of the side walk I walk over with my bags and my daughter. “Tae that you?” I ask carefully.

“Olivia?” He asks surprised, his expression quickly changing from what I can tell, most of his face is covered. “Come on.”

Following my best friend, at least I hope he still is; climbing into a waiting care Taemin removes his coverings, a pensive expression on his face “You do know Key isn’t so forgiving right?”

“I know,” Pausing to check on Elise Lee, she’s happily looking around the car. “That’s why I called you.”

Watching Taemin, he runs a hand through his hair before telling the driver to take us home. “I’m angry too!” Glaring at me he lets out a calmer tone. “Hyung was destroyed.”

Biting my lip I nod my head, letting him get it all out, I know I deserve it for leaving them all in the dark. “Taemin I just want to explain.”

“You can start with her.” He says looking at Elsie Lee, her now staring at Taemin, a little angry.

Sighing I might as well get it over with. “Taemin this is Elsie Lee, my daughter.”

“Daughter?! You went out and had a kid with some guy?!” He yells enraged. “And you’re bringing her!?”

“It wasn’t just some guy.” I whisper her head, Elise Lee confused and unhappy no doubt at Taemin for yelling at me. “She’s Jonghyun’s daughter.”

All the anger drains from his face, and is replaced with realization. “She’s four?”

“Three!” She corrects him holding up three fingers.

Taemin just nods his head. “She speaks Korean?”

I nod my head shushing Elsie. “I just couldn’t let her grow up ignoring half of her heritage.”

“Is this why you stopped calling us?” Taemin asks quietly. “Is she the reason you never came back?”

Nodding my head I let out a long sigh. “I couldn’t come back with a new born. That’d never blow over well with Key, or the press. Jonghyun would have to choose family or you guys.”

“So you just never gave him the choice?”

Nodding my head I look away from his gaze. “I love him, I loved him too much to let him give up what he’s worked so hard for.”

“So you’re going to introduce her now? What need money?” Taemin asks bitterly.

Shaking my head ‘no’ I smile at my daughter, my baby girl. “She wanted to meet her dad. I wasn’t about to lie to her. Taemin you should know me better than that. If I broke contact, it’d have to be one damn good reason.”

“UMMA!” Elsie Lee says wagging her finger at me.

“Sorry.” I whisper kissing her forehead. “Taemin I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but I couldn’t ruin Jonghyun’s career.”

“Just hurry up and get ready for everyone. Key, Minho, Onew are making sure Jonghyun stays.”

“Does he know I’m coming?”

“No, but he doesn’t stay in a lot anymore.” He mumbles covering his face as he gets out of the car, now stopped in front of an apartment building, our things being taken care of by the driver we follow Taemin inside.

“Umma who is the weirdo?” Elsie Lee asks pointing at Taemin, him tapping his foot impatiently. “He has funny hair.”

“An old friend.”

“And old best friend.” Taemin corrects. “I’m Taemin.”

Elsie Lee runs over to him and hugs him, surprising him, but hugging her back. “Umma best friend!”

Chuckling we ride the elevator up, rocking back and forth Taemin places a hand on my shoulder. “It’ll be fine.”

“Liar.” I mumble as we walk down the oh-so familiar hall to stop at their dorm door, Taemin opening it, the three of us coming face to an angry Jonghyun.

“LET ME GO! I WANT TO GO OUT!” Jonghyun yells trying to push Minho and Key off him, while Onew is holding his shoes hostage. Turning around slowly at the side of a gaping Minho, Onew and Key his face becomes blank.

“Umma who are they?” Elsie Lee asks me.

Jonghyun’s face turns to rage. “What are you doing back?”

Taemin stands in front of me, whispering something to the others they all look at Elsie Lee, obviously they know.

“I wanted to explain everything.”

“So you brought your kid? Is her dad coming too?” He snipes.

“He’s already here.” I mumble looking at him, hoping for him to get it.

Jonghyun looks past me, silent for a moment he speaks. “Well where is he?”

“It’s you stupid.” Key bursts our rolling his eyes. “God you’re dense.”

Jonghyun stares at me to Elsie Lee, then back at Key who is now shaking his head in despair. “I’m not joking pabo.”

“Umma…” Elsie says tugging on my arm. “Potty!”

Chuckling Key scoops her up in a flash. “Key-Umma will take you.”

Nodding her head she holds on tight to Key as he takes her down the hall. Allowing me in Jonghyun and I sit at the table while the boys watch Elsie Lee.

“She’s our kid?” Jonghyun asks staring over at her happily holding Taemin’s hand.

Nodding my head I look at him, “I’m sorry.”

“You could have just told me.” He whispers. “I would have helped.”

“I know; that’s why I didn’t. I couldn’t let you give all this up.” Looking at me now Jonghyun shakes his head. “I know it sounds horrible, but Jonghyun you have your life, and then add in me, it’d not only hurt you and your career but the rest of the guys.”

“So you decided to just let me think you stopped caring?” He mumbles. “I waited, I’ve been waiting. Hoping that you’d come and tell me wrong.”

“I never stopped caring, Jonghyun I had no idea how to tell you that I was pregnant.”

“You left me; you’ve done it twice now.” He whispers. “And yet I still want everything to go back.”

Looking away from Jonghyun I stand up. “I’m no good for you. I leave and you don’t hear from me for years…”

“I love you.”

Looking at Elsie Lee having fun, enjoying her time I look back and Jonghyun standing right behind me, “How can you still love me after all I’ve done?” I whisper crying. “I’ve ran away, I’ve broken contact, promises and brought you a daughter.”

“I love you, I can’t change my feelings and I don’t want to.” Taking my hand Jonghyun leads me to the door, putting on a disguise and calling Elsie Lee the three of us leave, the three of us get in a car, watching Jonghyun talk and play with Elsie Lee I smile sadly.

“I’m taking you to the place where I told you that I want what you want.” Jonghyun says suddenly. “I still want to be with you.”

Taking his hand I smile at Jonghyun. “Me too.”

Life is full of ups and downs, things change, people change and there are those people in life that help to change you for the better or for the worse, they are there. I have no idea where my life with Jonghyun and Elsie Lee will take me but…Honestly I’m tired of running away all the time, of keeping things a secret, I just want to share my life with Jonghyun and I want to start living my life the way I want, living with the love of my life, and the miracle that we brought into this world, together raising our daughter, with our friends of course.

FIN~

I know this seems rushed, and not like a great ending, but this ending I actually felt like finishing, maybe it is a bit choppy and messy. :/ I'll post the alternate ending in my blog, it isn't finished, and to be honest I started three endings. (I'll try to post them at least)

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