Chanyeol, you’re hallucinating because you’re thinking about him too much. Now you’re even seeing his name inside the cook book that looks exactly just like the one he held before.

No matter how many times he tried to rub his eyes, the name plastered on the front page of the book never changed.

010-2658……

Do Kyungsoo… Kyungsoo Do… Do…

He didn’t know what to do. Should he be happy and cry tears of joy? Or should he be mad for being too late?

He had to be mad. He should be mad.

Because he was such a fool not to notice everything.

It was everywhere. The signs were everywhere. It was placed everywhere, on all possible places near his sight. He never noticed. He was too foolish to even care about those things. Or maybe he was too spaced out and never tried to even think about it.

He should’ve just pushed the book away and as far from him as possible when Baekhyun gave it to him. What was the point of meeting Kyungsoo for the second time when he knows he’ll never get to see him again because he’s leaving? It was pointless. The efforts were useless. And all the precious time used was nothing at all.

He reminded himself about those things he did before the book reached him. He did everything he could. He exerted the right amount of effort. He tried entering every possible bookstore that he came across with. It became his habit every time he had the chance to. He tried searching for that book Kyungsoo scribbled on. He did everything he could just to see that guy again.

And when he decided to stop looking for it, it reached his empty hands.

The painful and amusing part was Baekhyun was the one who found it and gave it to him.

It was ridiculous to even think about fate right now. It was cruel towards him ever since. But he knew it was the only thing he could blame. Receiving a book from Baekhyun was not his plan after all. Fate shouldn’t be playing on him right now. Not this time, not after helplessly trying to forget that guy who gave meaning to happiness.

Fate, if it ever existed, gave him Baekhyun first. Baekhyun was his first choice even before he met Kyungsoo. But that man, those eyes, those lips, those smile. He could never forget them all. No matter how hard he tried.

It was like fate has finally decided for him. The answer to his question was finally given. But the timing and process were all wrong. This was not supposed to happen anymore. He was trying to be happy with Baekhyun. He wanted happiness and love. And he tried to convince himself that he’d find it with Baekhyun. He did, yes. But it was temporary, and forced.

Ha! Fate. What fate? That’s not real. No such thing existed. It never existed.

It never existed for him in the first place until a doe-eyed guy named Do Kyungsoo arrived and made him believe in it. Kyungsoo changed his perspective in life. Even the simplest things mattered to him now.

It would hurt to believe in destiny again. Because between fate and Kyungsoo, Baekhyun was in the middle. Baekhyun would get hurt if Chanyeol left him for a man who’s probably missing right now. Of course, Chanyeol cared. He cared a lot, as a matter of fact. He loves the man after all.

But if he left Kyungsoo for Baekhyun, he’ll miss half his life.

He loves Baekhyun, he really does. But somewhere in the middle, something was telling him to stop lying to himself because no matter how many times he tried to convince himself that fate didn’t exist, it did. It was not against his will. It was just against the chance given to him. The timing and the chance didn’t make it right. It didn’t reach the right mark.

And Baekhyun was just not the right person for him.

No matter how much Chanyeol tried to be happy with him, sometimes, he couldn’t stop thinking how it was if Kyungsoo was in Baekhyun’s place.

Fate was working, wasn’t it? They may not be in the right order, but it was probably trying to sort things out. It was trying to work itself back.

Maybe it was trying to do things on its own, trying to make its way into his life.

But whatever fate was trying to do, it was not working right.

His eyes fleeted to the nearest calendar as Kyungsoo’s words repeatedly rang inside his head.

“Uhh, you know he’ll be my boyfriend after 4 months.”

It was already four months now. Does that even make sense? Fate decided to give him Kyungsoo’s number after 4 months? Or even make him regret asking for his name and waiting for the goddamn book to reach his hands?

Four wasted months. Four whole goddamn months of hopeless waiting.

And after that, he reminded himself that this might be some stupid prank Baekhyun did to him. He must’ve known Chanyeol’s little secret and decided to make him a fool out of it.

Baekhyun must’ve known, right? Baekhyun should know a bit right?

But there was a tiny voice within him that told him that fate was finally working its way back into Chanyeol’s life. It wasn’t just some good old April Fools’ Day joke. This was finally it.

Kyungsoo… Do Kyungsoo… Where are you right now? Did you find the shirt too? Or are you just sitting on a chair, waiting for someone to give it to you? Are you going to desperately think about what to do once it reaches your hands? Will you call me? Did you change your number? Or did you leave Seoul? What really are you doing right now, Kyungsoo-sshi? I need answers. I need to see you again.

Chanyeol stared at the number again. He was contemplating whether he should call the number or not. He was afraid Kyungsoo has already changed his number. Maybe he was scared being with Chanyeol and all that’s why he decided to do things like this. Or maybe Kyungsoo lost his phone. Or maybe… Chanyeol shook the thoughts off his head. He shouldn’t be thinking of those kinds of things right now.

Goddamnit, Chanyeol. Use your head and start calling.

That same moment he reached for his phone lying on the table, Baekhyun arrived, carrying plastic bags with him.

“I brought lunch!” He called out and Chanyeol went out the room, his left hand clutching his phone and the other gripping the book.

“I thought lunch? That’s not cooked yet.” He said as he peeked inside the black plastic bags.

Baekhyun made a face. “I decided it’s not healthy if I let you eat fast food. That’s why I dropped by the convenience store to buy some ingredients.”

“Baekhyun, you shouldn’t have—“

“Anyway,” Baekhyun pushed him aside, making him drop the book on the counter, just above the trash bin. He inserted his phone inside his pocket. “You have to help me. You know I’m not much of a good cook.”

Chanyeol groaned. “I told you, you should’ve just brought ready-cooked.”

“Let me experiment, at least before we leave Seoul, okay?” Baekhyun insisted and turned to the onion he was trying to peel. “So come over here and help me out.”

Chanyeol forgot all about the book and Kyungsoo as he helped Baekhyun.

He did the slicing and cleaning of the ingredients while Baekhyun did all the cooking. His mind immediately forgot the problem that he had a while ago.

After all the messed up cooking, they finally had their lunch. Chanyeol was seated across Baekhyun. He watched the cute guy eat merrily before he dug in.

He was already contented with Baekhyun. Baekhyun made him happy.

But Kyungsoo made him happier.

They were both happily munching on the food until Chanyeol’s phone rang. He cupped his pocket and fished it out. He stared at the unknown number as the phone vibrated furiously against his palm.

That was when Kyungsoo’s memory finally got back on him.

“Aren’t you going to answer that call?” Baekhyun asked across the table.

Chanyeol, as if brought back to reality, blinked hard. This couldn’t be Kyungsoo calling, this might be some unregistered number who wanted to talk about infomercials and all. Impossible.

But not quite.

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun called again.

“Oh? This?” He asked and stared at his phone. It had something. And the number was somewhat familiar. 010-2658…

He finally stood up from his seat and took a deep breath. This might not be Kyungsoo. This must be his friend who got a new phone. “I’m going to answer it. Wait for me here.” He said. “I’ll help you clean up.”

“Oh… okay.” Baekhyun absentmindedly answered and finished his food.

Chanyeol, of all the places he could go to, immediately rushed to the comfort room and started to fidget about the call.

To answer or not to answer?

Kyungsoo or not Kyungsoo, he’d answer it.

On the other side, Baekhyun was starting to clean up all the mess and was also taking a call from a friend, who wanted to wish him and Chanyeol a happy vacation. He was carelessly cleaning the counter because he was focusing more on the call. He swiped almost everywhere, not avoiding all the mess. Little did he know that the book he gave Chanyeol, which was covered with all the black plastics, and unused ingredients, was already inside the trash bin waiting to be found again.

After pressing the green-lighted button and shakily answering a deep hello? , Baekhyun shouted from outside, I’ll be throwing the trash! , causing Chanyeol to drop his phone inside the toilet bowl.

“Shoot!” He cursed out loud.

Should I get it? Or let it go? Getting a phone from the toilet was his worst nightmare. He was the type of guy to let useless things go.

What a good way to leave Seoul.

He watched his phone slowly lose its power because of the water that entered its system. He frowned at the sight and he felt very sorry about that person who just called.

Who was it, anyway?

Chanyeol decided to just forget the phone and walk away. He won’t be using it anymore when he leaves for America. It doesn’t even matter anymore.

He pouted on his way outside and sat on the couch before Baekhyun came back.

“So who was the caller?” Baekhyun asked behind the counter.

“I don’t know.” He muttered.

“Why?” Baekhyun asked as he continued to wash the dishes.

“I dropped my phone in the toilet.” He replied.

Baekhyun dropped a plate in the sink and stopped working. “What? You dropped your phone?”

Chanyeol headed where Baekhyun was and watched him work. “Yes, I did. And I don’t want to get it back.”

“What if it’s someone important?” He asked Chanyeol, staring deep into his eyes. Yeah, what if…

What if it was Kyungsoo?

Chanyeol immediately remembered and rushed to their room while Baekhyun continued to work on the dishes.

Chanyeol appeared behind the door again. “Baekhyun, did you see the book?” He asked the shorter guy.

Baekhyun looked up and asked, “What book?”

“The… the one you gave me a few hours ago.” He said and scratched his head. “The cook book, the very cute one you gave me.”

Baekhyun looked at him, confused. “Nope, I haven’t. Maybe it’s inside the drawer. Try checking.”

“No, I was holding it a while ago. I forgot where I placed it.” He answered. “Aish! Why am I so careless?!”

“Chanyeol, relax. It must be somewhere. Try closing your mouth and start looking for it.” Baekhyun told him and continued his work. “I’ll help you look for it once I finish this.”

“Okay…” Chanyeol answered and disappeared behind the door.

Baekhyun chuckled. This was the first time he actually noticed Chanyeol very connected to something that doesn’t even matter to him before.

Seconds became minutes and minutes turned to hours, still no cook book was found. Baekhyun was getting tired and Chanyeol was getting impatient by the time.

“Baekhyun, we have to find it!” Chanyeol exclaimed then frowned.

Baekhyun ruffled his hands through his hair. “We can continue looking for it tomorrow.”

“No, we can’t! I have to find it right now.” Chanyeol insisted.

Baekhyun chuckled and asked, “Are you going to bake me a cake that’s why you’re desperately looking for it, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol stopped rummaging through the pile of clothes and looked at Baekhyun. “I wanted to try out something.” He lied.

“We could get another one like that book—“

“NO!” He exclaimed and Baekhyun almost jumped from his seat. “It was the one I’ve been looking for.”

“Chanyeol, that thing you’re looking for is just a cook book.” Baekhyun insisted. The taller guy was almost getting on his nerves but he was trying to set his feelings aside.

“It was not just a cook book, Baekhyun. I need that book.” He said and made his way towards the shorter guy. It was Kyungsoo’s cook book.

“Why do you need that book, huh? It’s not like your life depended on it—“

“YES! My life depended on that book, I need that book back!” Chanyeol shouted, finally letting all his emotions drown him. “I have to find that book back.” He repeated, as if he was in hysteria.

“We could always buy another copy.” Baekhyun frowned.

“No, I want that copy.” Chanyeol insisted. I was looking for it for four months.

“Chanyeol, let’s stop searching for that book.”

“If I don’t find it then I’m not leaving tomorrow.” He said.

“And now you’re trying to tell me you’re not leaving? What are you trying to do, Park Chanyeol?!” Baekhyun half-shouted at him. “Are you trying to blame me for losing that book?!”

“Baekhyun, you know that’s not what I mean—“

“Fine! Be with that book, he’s more important than me!” Baekhyun said and stomped his way out the room.

Chanyeol kneeled and let his tears run freely.

Now he was carelessly hurting Baekhyun because of his actions and words.

Baekhyun was getting in the way and he didn’t know how to let him go.

After a whole minute of crying, he continued to search for the book, despite the tiredness he was feeling. He couldn’t give up, not after he found the book.

But he never found the book that night. And Baekhyun went out to eat with some guy he met before. He was left alone inside the place, still looking for that book with Kyungsoo’s name and number.

Yet, he couldn’t find it.

He searched everywhere, in all possible places. The kitchen, the living room, the dining room, the bathroom, their own room. Everywhere. But no Kyungsoo cook book was found.

Upset and aggrieved, Chanyeol decided to stop searching for the book. Baekhyun was right, it wasn’t like his life depended on that book. It wasn’t something he should heed about. Because it was just a book. A cook book with Do Kyungsoo’s number.

Every word that came out of Baekhyun’s mouth was right. That book could be replaced, minus Kyungsoo’s number.

Fate was not with me from the start.

Chanyeol figured out this was where he belonged to. He didn’t belong to a person who loved to believe in fate and chances. He belonged to a person who firmly believed in actions and words.

Baekhyun was that type of man.

And he was far different from Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol gave up his high hopes and decided to patch things up with Baekhyun. They were leaving tomorrow so it was right and ample to apologize. It was his fault anyway.

He insisted that something existed even though it was long gone.

He’s never really going to find Kyungsoo again.

Because his fate with that man is lost just like that book.

Baekhyun arrived 11:30 that night and Chanyeol was waiting for him outside the door.

“Why are you still wide awake?” Baekhyun asked coldly. “If you don’t want to leave tomorrow then just—“

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” Chanyeol murmured, looking into the shorter guy’s eyes. “I’m really sorry, Baekhyun.”

No matter how many times he wanted to slap the taller guy’s face, Baekhyun just couldn’t resist his tenderness and love.

“I know it was too selfish of me to do that. I’m sorry and I won’t do it again.” He apologized.

Baekhyun looked at him. He couldn’t believe how Chanyeol would swallow his pride just to patch things up with him. That was something Baekhyun couldn’t ignore.

Chanyeol was someone whom he has loved for a very long time.

He couldn’t just get mad at him and let him go. Chanyeol meant more than a lover to him. After all the wait, he finally had him.

Without saying anything, Baekhyun enveloped Chanyeol into a warm embrace. “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have talked back like that.” He muttered against Chanyeol’s chest. Chanyeol chuckled and Baekhyun felt relieved. “So we’re okay now?” He asked huskily.

Baekhyun nodded and hugged Chanyeol tighter.

Chanyeol finally realized this was the place where he belonged since from the start.

Baekhyun’s.

The next morning inside the cab, Baekhyun excitedly exclaimed his plans for their vacation. He was getting all giddy and excited even though they haven’t reached Incheon Airport yet.

“We’ll walk under the sun while checking out the beach. You’d love that Chanyeol, right? And then we’d make sand castles and take pictures of it until the battery’s going to lose its power. Then we’ll have dinner by the bay and have picnics every afternoon. We’ll have lots of fun and we’d stay there forever.” He proudly blabbered. “Then we’d eat ice creams while walking along the streets….”

Chanyeol, though he already patched things up with Baekhyun, looked straight ahead, his mind wandering off in different directions. He tried hard to weigh everything out.

He belongs with Baekhyun. Only with Baekhyun.

If he left with Baekhyun, he’ll never see Kyungsoo again.

If he left Baekhyun, chances are, he might see Kyungsoo again.

If he left Baekhyun and saw Kyungsoo, would the guy recognize him?

He might, after a few seconds or minutes or renewed introduction.

But what if Kyungsoo already has someone beside him?

What if Kyungsoo already made up his mind to give everything up?

Then the words he thought that night, that first and last night inside that elevator across Kyungsoo’s before, came to him.

Let fate decide for us.

Chanyeol looked at the man sitting beside him, happily talking about his future plans for the both of them. He wanted to stay with Baekhyun. He wanted to make him happier. But he figured out that if he stayed longer, he’d only hurt the both of them.

He didn’t want that to happen.

He knows how Baekhyun hate goodbyes.

Deep inside, he wanted Kyungsoo too—or needed, if that was the case. He just couldn’t bear to leave Seoul without seeing that man again.

Finally, just like a lightning bolt, it hit him hard on the heart.

“Ajhussi, stop the car please.” He leaned and told the driver.

Baekhyun stopped blabbering and asked, “Chanyeol, did you forget something again?”

Chanyeol faced him and took a deep breath.

This must finally be it. Let fate work again, if it ever existed. He’ll believe now, and he’ll try to understand how it worked. All he ever wanted was to be happy. If it was too selfish for him to do this, he didn’t care much.

This was only a one-time chance.

He wanted to shake Kyungsoo’s words off his mind but it kept repeating itself like a broken record.

“People are given chances, Chanyeol. And chances are only given once.”

He decided today was the chance he was given.

The question was should he take it? Or leave it?

Today, he was going to take it.

And he’s not going to be hesitant about it.

He lost Kyungsoo’s number. He lost the book. But he had his name.

He could look for him. There were at least a thousand guys with the same name but he remembered Do Kyungsoo’s face perfectly.

He could use it as a reference.

Or he could walk away with nothing by the end of the day.

He didn’t care.

With or without fate, he’d look for that guy again. Fate won’t stop him from trying again.

Baekhyun started to panic and placed a hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder, trying to slightly shake him back to reality. “Chanyeol, what’s wrong?”

He looked deep into Baekhyun’s eyes for the very last time as he said the words that’ll finally lead him somewhere distant.

“Baekhyun, I’m sorry.”

A/N: So how was the 11 pages, 3k+ words of cliffhanger? *pauses* hey, you guys asked for it! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! anyway, we updated because it's Chanyeol's birthday today! *throws confetti*

so we won't say anything else besides 'stay updated'. HAHAHAHAHAHA thanks for the love and support, don't forget to comment your violent and teased feels below.

and yes, yes. we love you too :*