Title: 4/5
Your title gives off a childish feeling, which I mostly get from the word “Aish”.  It also gives off a rom-com vibe, which is what you were going for, is it not?  

Description/Foreword: 5/10
Your description is too generic.  Yes, she is going to stay with the members of B.A.P.  Yes, her lifestyle will change.  However, is there anything more you could add to show instead of tell?  For instance, you could have Namjoo introduce herself.

While the character chart in your foreword is pretty, it is not necessary.  Assuming that your readers know what B.A.P. looks like, and assuming that your readers will form an image of Namjoo as the story goes on, this pretty ensemble isn’t necessary.  You don’t reveal any information about the character, though, which is great.  Your author’s note should be formal, which means that tildes, aka the ~; romanized Korean, such as “annyeong”; and emoticons like ^____^ are not necessary.

Characterization: 9/15
From the first chapter alone, I love Namjoo’s sarcasm.  These types of stories usually have the OC acting innocent and ignorant.  However, you’ve made Namjoo into someone relatable, because everyone has a bit of sarcasm hidden within them, don’t they?

The characterization of the B.A.P. members, on the other hand, aren’t as remarkable as Namjoo’s.  From the beginning, the only information I have about them are the things they mentioned in their introductions.  As the story progresses, you develop them a little more, but not to the point where I feel they have a personality outside of what is seen on television and mentioned in interviews.

Sarang seems more like a character created for the sole purpose of being the antagonist.  If you could develop her story more, to prove that she is a person too.  No one can be evil all the time.  

Spelling/Grammar: 15/30
There weren’t any major spelling errors throughout the fanfic, which is impressive.  Here are some of the things I found that I believe could help:

1) Keep your tenses constant.  Throughout your fanfiction, you switch between present and past tense, although you decide on past tense later on.  Sometimes, you use present and past tense verbs in the same sentence, which throws the flow off and makes your sentence structure funky.

2) Keep Korean romanized words to a minimum.  You use words such as “annyeong”, but that romanization could easily be replaced with “hello”.  Words like “pali” can be changed as well.  In fact, sometimes, romanization is so confusing that it’s easy to spell it wrong.  English is the safer and simpler route.  Words you can keep in romanization would be place names, although I don’t think you have any; formalities like hyung, noona, etc.; and words that absolutely cannot be translated without changing the meaning of the word.

3) You overuse caps lock.  I’m not sure how you should fix this, since your character seem to love to scream at each other throughout the fanfic.

4) In Chapter 6, you use second person, then switch back to first person.  Was that a mistake?

Flow: 7/10
You change point of view, which messes up the flow of the fanfic.  Sticking to one point of view can be tricky, since you can only get into one person’s head.  If you want to get into other peoples’ heads’, then use third person omniscient, which allows you to get into the heads of all the characters without having to switch point of view.  Great, huh?

Originality/Plot: 15/25
Your story differs in the fact that her cousin has connections with Zelo, but there isn’t anything else to distinguish your fanfic from the billions of other fanfics with the same plot.  Add in more of your own flavor, since it is your fanfiction.

Enjoyment: 3/5
It brought memories of some of my older stories back.  

Total: 58/100

General Comments:
I approached this fanfiction from a critical standpoint, which explains the score you’ve received.  If I were to pass this story as a reader rather than a reviewer, I wouldn’t have noticed a lot of the things I had pointed out to you in this review.  I think your story has the potential to be a really great story, but you need to add a bit of your own flavor for things to work the way you want them to work.  Namjoo is an interesting OC, and the members of B.A.P. are good fits for this story.

Good luck on this fanfic!  I hope you aren’t offended in any way by this review.  Also, I am looking through your application for a reviewer, and I will get back to you on that in a day or two.