Title: 4/5

Your title and your story are a good match, though not a perfect one.  There are some parts in your story that do not match up with the angst that your title brings.

Description/Foreword: 9/10

The content itself is interesting; however, there are a few small grammar-related mistakes.  The mistakes do not make the content any less enjoyable, so I will not point them out here.

Characterization: 13/15

I will not talk about every single character, since there are a lot of people in your story.

Jonghyun: There are times where Jonghyun acts slightly feminine.  I cannot recall the chapter at the moment, but the part where he  asks Taesun who would top in his relationship with Minho is an example.  However, as the fanfiction continues, Jonghyun’s growth is starting to show.  Even Minho notices it.

Minho’s dad: Like Jonghyun, Minho’s dad also has his feminine moments.  

Writing in the male perspective as a female is difficult, so the occasional mistake is expected.

Spelling/Grammar: 30/30

Besides the occasional comma error, there is not anything I can point out in this section.  

Flow: 8/10

Some of the ual scenes could be taken out because they feel rushed, though your readers would probably find that annoying.  Sometimes, you write paragraphs without any dialogue, which drags out the flow of your story.  

Originality/Plot: 18/25

You said it yourself: the plot should be thickened.  Parts of your plot are interesting and original, while others could use some work.  The harvesting of Minho’s cells was an interesting twist, as was Hangeng and the first vaccine.  However, things like Jessica’s “I love Minho” role in the story could be reconsidered.  Something you could think of while working on your plot could be: If Jonghyun and Minho manage to take over, what will they do?  How will they stop the zombie virus?  How will they turn everything back to normal?

Enjoyment: 4.5/5

This is my second zombie story, and I enjoyed almost every chapter.

Total: 86.5/100

General Comments:

First of all, I must apologize.  You came seeking a review, yet I’m not sure I did a good job at it.  Not to mention that I’m half a year late on this; I received this request in October, 2012, and here I am getting to it in 2013.  I couldn’t bring myself to read the ual scenes, honestly, because anything related to makes me uncomfortable.  However, even without the ual scenes, your story intrigued me to the point where I couldn’t stop reading.

Again, I sincerely apologize about the long wait.  If you want more help with anything, since I feel that my review was insufficient, feel free to post on my wall or send me a PM.