Title: 4/5

While your title is not specifically original or eye-catching, it does fit your story.

Description/Foreword: 7/10

Description: Your description is very fitting of your story.  Normally, I would take off points for the grammar in your description; however, I can see that you’ve incorporated style into your writing.  

Foreword: There are just some small grammatical things.  First, you don’t need to write Woohyun’s POV at the top, since the whole story is written from Woohyun’s point of view.  Second, there are some tense errors, but they aren’t major.

Characterization: 7/15

Woohyun, the main character in the story, seems to live in the past.  He feels pain every time he comes across one of “her” belongings.  Even the house itself is filled with his memories of the two of them together.  You sort of address Woohyun’s reasons when you say that “he never had the guts to throw [the clothes] away”.  If you went into more detail about Woohyun’s inability to let things go, I would have been able to connect with him better.  

Woohyun’s love interest sometimes acts like a child.  For example, when he sees her reflection in the window, she is “smiling” and “clapping”.  I assume she is around the age of Woohyun, so all of those childish acts would be out of character.

Spelling/Grammar: 13/30

Since your oneshot is broken up into segments, I will go through one part and point out some of the grammar mistakes:

It was heavily raining. <--The word order is strange, although the grammar is correct.  “It was raining heavily” simply sounds better.

As if the sky was crying with me. <--I think that combining this sentence fragment with the sentence before would improve the flow.  If you do decide to combine the two sentences, don’t forget to add a comma between them.

It has been 49 days since she left. <--“49” should be written out as “forty-nine”.

How she was lying on the hard cement, blood started to flowing out of the back of her head” <--I think that it would sound better combined with the previous sentence: “Once again, I was awoken by the repetition of the incident that I saw with my eyes--how she was lying on the hard cement with blood flowing out of the back of her head”.

I shut my eyes tightly, tried to throw away the images that kept messing my head. <--You need the word “and” before “tried”, and you need to remove the comma.  Also, “messing my head” should be “messing with my head”.

The sky was still pouring the rain down, but I have no intention to shield myself against it <--The first part is wordy; perhaps “It was still pouring” would be a simpler and more accurate way of saying that?  Also, “have” should be “had”.

At least, I’ll feel cold and calm. <--No comma needed.

However, there is the fact that English is your second language; therefore, it is not completely fair to give points based on amount of mistakes.

Flow: 5/10

There are three types of sentences in English:

1) Simple sentences (e.g. I went to the park)

2) Compound sentences (e.g. I went to the park, and it started to rain)

3) Complex sentences (e.g. Although it started to rain, I still went to the park)

Since you do not change your sentence structures very often, the flow becomes very choppy.  Try fitting longer sentences with shorter sentences instead of using short sentences only.

Originality/Plot: 14/25

After going through your story a second time, your plot seems very similar to Sunggyu’s 60 Seconds music video.  With the exception of the fact that Woohyun’s love interest actually dies, most of the events that you’ve written occur in Sunggyu’s video.  As far as originality goes, your oneshot was predictable.  Woohyun angsts over the girl for a while and then stumbles upon a very convenient letter, which tells him to live his life to the fullest even after the girl passes away.  You could’ve allowed Woohyun to come to his own conclusions instead of having him read the convenient letter, as a suggestion for originality.

Cliches aren’t bad when written properly, but I do wish that you had relied less on them and more on your own ideas.

Enjoyment: 4/5

I enjoyed almost everything; sometimes, though, the English was difficult to understand.

Total: 54/100

General Comments:

I’d recommend getting a beta reader to go over your story and fix the grammatical errors, since I know that English is your second language.  Also, I must apologize for taking so long to complete your review.  There are some things in the review that I hope you take into consideration, but that’s for you to decide.